A question to ESTps and any other types that have experienced this..what do you think of or try to handle an INFp who reaches a "breaking point" and starts dropping emotional bombs. Is this overwhelming ?
A question to ESTps and any other types that have experienced this..what do you think of or try to handle an INFp who reaches a "breaking point" and starts dropping emotional bombs. Is this overwhelming ?
IEI
Less frequently yes. But it would likely be more insightful and less fire and brimstone. I think the IEI emotional explosion would be a little more targeted and specific and saying what they know will hurt the other person (because we IEIs keep psychological tabs on anyone we care about even slightly.) than EIE, which would be more likely to spout a lot of emotional language without really targeting it specifically. But I could be way off on that. But I have noticed that my one friend who's an SLE is much less sensitive to emotional manipulation, needing to believe things for psychological purposes, etc. than most of the other people I know.
Not a rule, just a trend.
IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.
Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...
I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.
hmmmm i kinda like it when IEI goes on an emotional bender.once i learned how to deal....it was kind of energizing.
ILE
those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often
"What is love?"
"The total absence of fear," said the Master.
"What is it we fear?"
"Love," said the Master.
I chose Love
haha...It is truly a side of an INFp that people don't often get to see...not that they want to see it...Speaking for myself (idk if its the case with other INFps here) a reaction like that is usually the result of just keeping certain emotions inside in order to avoid conflict in the short run. However doesn't do much help for the long run.
IEI
what's an emotional bomb anyway
"What is love?"
"The total absence of fear," said the Master.
"What is it we fear?"
"Love," said the Master.
I chose Love
you know what? it may be ugly but it's fucking honest.
it's the lack of Fi. i love that there's a silver lining. :-)I think a good SLE is easy to be assertive with. IEIs are always wary of not upsetting someone, but SLEs are total tough cookies with God complexes, so I don't reckon IEIs have emotional blowouts with them often. IEIs don't need to suppress themselves and hold back opinions for fear of offending them. I reckon that if you ever did emotionally bomb the SLE - they might be the only type to not be completely destroyed by it and the SLE-IEI relationship might be the only relationship that can survive it.
ILE
those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often
"What is love?"
"The total absence of fear," said the Master.
"What is it we fear?"
"Love," said the Master.
I chose Love
IEIs have a breakdown? I don't understand...
Easy Day
i'm pretty sure, at this point, you're ISFp. B&D.
I don't think it matters if they handle it well, if you are hanging with wicked, psychologically healthy, intune people you wouldn't drop emotional bombs on them at all. Good people don't provoke crazed rage blackouts.
I only drop emotional bombs on people who deserve it. I've only erupted with two people, an EIE and an LSI, and I only destroyed the relationship because those relationships needed to be destroyed, those people deserved it. I think it's a weakness of Beta NFs holding onto people even when they damage you, so the emotional bomb is a killah defense mechanism, you have to end the relationship for the sake of your own wellbeing. IEIs have such a saga letting go of people that they've ever been really connected to, but once you bomb someone you totally hollow the relationship out and there isn't anything there anymore to hold onto, there is so much damage you can't seem to heal it and reconnect.
I think a good SLE is easy to be assertive with. IEIs are always wary of not upsetting someone, but SLEs are total tough cookies with God complexes, so I don't reckon IEIs have emotional blowouts with them often. IEIs don't need to suppress themselves and hold back opinions for fear of offending them. I reckon that if you ever did emotionally bomb the SLE - they might be the only type to not be completely destroyed by it and the SLE-IEI relationship might be the only relationship that can survive it.
IEI, sp/sx 4w3.
From an INFp perspective, if and when I do explode on people... I'm sure it wouldn't be pretty. I'm assuming by emotional bombs you mean INFp style emotional accusations, I-see-through-you NiFe crap that is intentionally psychologically hurtful, pressing people's buttons, telling Othello that his wife is cheating on him in graphic detail, etc. I don't know what to do in that situation.
Physicalizing things helps me loads. One time I was crazy pissed at something a friend did (which he was actually fairly justified in doing), and the only thing that made me feel better was biting/chewing the tin foil wrapper on the top of a carton of yogurt. I know, that's absolutely freaking ridiculous. But it did make me feel better (and I wasn't going to freaking "punch a pillow" or any of that bullshit. When I'm angry my fear/hatred of enacting cliches is even stronger than usual). It'll be better to get an IEI to give a physical representation of his/her emotions rather than a verbal one, because he/she will experience that more directly and powerfully than words empty words (no matter how powerful the words are with capacity to hurt).
It's my theory that Ni-egos in general are sensitive to representation; we want something on the outside to match what's going on inside, or, as A.R. Ammons puts it, we want an "image for longing":
for the word tree I have been shown a tree
and for the word rock I have been shown a rock,
for stream, for cloud, for star
this place has provided firm implication and answering
but where here is the image for longing
If the only external representation that we can get for our emotions is to make somebody else feel as bad as we feel, then so be it. I think that's part of what happens in really destructive IEIs, so if you can channel it elsewhere, that's something.
Another theory (which I cribbed from Carl Jung) is that IEIs (or introverted intuition types) basically turn into "primitive" SLEs (or extroverted sensation types) under extreme psychological duress. The reason I bring this up is because sometimes, when I'm really mad at something/someone, I get the feeling that the only reason for me not to do whatever I want in retaliation (or in general) is that someone would stop me/use force against me. Of course, I'm not crazy, so that's a momentary notion in my head. But you get the idea: an IEI under extreme psychological stress may only respond to someone using force (which need not be physical force, just as SLEs aren't all about physical force). Of course, threatening/applying force is somewhat of an emergency measure but it might work if things are getting really dangerous or destructive.
The absolute worst thing to do would be to *tell* the IEI to "direct their anger" or some bs like that. That would drive me up the wall. Reminding the IEI that he's being hurtful won't help, as he probably wants to be hurtful. Telling him he should spend some time alone won't help, unless you make him do so with force. Basically anything that smells at all contrived, or "how we deal with things"-y or "this is the right thing to do"-y is a bad idea. Anything a delta would do is a bad idea.
Also what krae said. ESTps could take it, so they're a good type to unload on. I honestly don't know what an ESTp would do in that situation, but I think it would work. The magic of duality and all that, you know.
Not a rule, just a trend.
IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.
Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...
I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.
I ask cause I have done this in the past a couple of times when I've felt my feelings were being compromised or not taken into consideration. When I've done this I've found it hard to organize how I want to express how I feel because it feels like there's so many things floating around in my thoughts that I kind of just want to mention them all at once. Which is what led me to think how must it feel to be in the other person's shoes ?
IEI
Oh, okay. Nevermind then. I thought it was a "how do I deal with person x" kind of question. I feel kinda dumb for writing that whole long post in that case. Yeah, I'm sure SLEs just think it's cute or something. Also, you can put a lot more into a symbol (physical or not) than you can into words, or at least that helps me.
Not a rule, just a trend.
IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.
Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...
I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.
Hey it was still an interesting read nonetheless so it wasn't a waste...good replies though so far...somehow I expected this kind of INFp reaction to be somewhat annoying especially to the thinkers like ESTp but I suppose that's why they are our duals...and maybe a good ol' slap is in order in these situations haha !!1!
IEI
you just gotta slap em around a little bit; thats all we really need.
"If you can find out little melodies for yourself on the piano it is all very well. But if they come of themselves when you are not at the piano, then you have still greater reason to rejoice; for then the inner sense of music is astir in you. The fingers must make what the head wills, not vice versa."- Robert Schumann