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    SO the LSE coworker that I spoke about before, I just found out she is single now. For some reason I am more nervous talking to her than I was before, things don't feel exactly the same, my guess is because I pulled back too much when she had a boyfriend and maybe she felt some type of way about that. I don't exactly know how to get things back to the way they were before, maybe if I just relax around her again things would go back to normal. She's going for a PHD and when I spoke to her about that she did light up again, but things are still in this awkward weird state that they were not in before.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    SO the LSE coworker that I spoke about before, I just found out she is single now. For some reason I am more nervous talking to her than I was before, things don't feel exactly the same, my guess is because I pulled back too much when she had a boyfriend and maybe she felt some type of way about that. I don't exactly know how to get things back to the way they were before, maybe if I just relax around her again things would go back to normal. She's going for a PHD and when I spoke to her about that she did light up again, but things are still in this awkward weird state that they were not in before.
    There is a really good chance that you are overthinking this.

    Te-doms are not that tuned in to their feelings. And LSE's tend to react to what is in front of them. Loosen up, tell her some jokes, and I think you will find that everything is as it was before, except maybe she harbors some resentment towards her ex, which she probably won't admit.

    Because she's thinking....damn, another relationship failure. She must suck at this stuff.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    There is a really good chance that you are overthinking this.

    Te-doms are not that tuned in to their feelings. And LSE's tend to react to what is in front of them. Loosen up, tell her some jokes, and I think you will find that everything is as it was before, except maybe she harbors some resentment towards her ex, which she probably won't admit.

    Because she's thinking....damn, another relationship failure. She must suck at this stuff.
    So asking her about it is probably not a good idea then?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    So asking her about it is probably not a good idea then?
    Correct. For two reasons.

    One, she probably looks at it as a failure, for which she might be responsible.

    Two, her previous relationships have nothing to do with the two of you. You guys are a clean slate. Asking her about her past is just a bad diversion from what you want to create. If she brings it up, you might sympathize with her but do not probe deeper. It really is a dead issue that can only make things worse between the two of you.

    If you need a way to think about this, just assume that all of her previous BF's were jerks and losers who don't deserve your attention, because she's with the best now. And so are you.

    If you get an urge to hear about stories of love gone wrong, read Jane Austin and Emily Bronte. Don't ask her about it.


    I'm a LIE Te-dom, and I tend to overshare here, but I know a fair number of LSE's and I have NEVER ONCE heard them talk about previous romances. Not once. And if you multiply the number of LSE's I know by the number of years I've known them, you get 225 years. And not once......
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 10-24-2019 at 09:12 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    SO the LSE coworker that I spoke about before, I just found out she is single now. For some reason I am more nervous talking to her than I was before, things don't feel exactly the same, my guess is because I pulled back too much when she had a boyfriend and maybe she felt some type of way about that. I don't exactly know how to get things back to the way they were before, maybe if I just relax around her again things would go back to normal. She's going for a PHD and when I spoke to her about that she did light up again, but things are still in this awkward weird state that they were not in before.
    You say you have Fi so you can use one of your methods to repair the relationship
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    You say you have Fi so you can use one of your methods to repair the relationship
    The only way I can think to "repair" the relations is through Ne, which is what the relationship revolved around anyway. Some moments of Fi but it was not the theme, it was more like Ne created more Fi fondness.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Correct. For two reasons.

    One, she probably looks at it as a failure, for which she might be responsible.

    Two, her previous relationships have nothing to do with the two of you. You guys are a clean slate. Asking her about her past is just a bad diversion from what you want to create. If she brings it up, you might sympathize with her but do not probe deeper. It really is a dead issue that can only make things worse between the two of you.

    If you need a way to think about this, just assume that all of her previous BF's were jerks and losers who don't deserve your attention, because she's with the best now. And so are you.

    If you get an urge to hear about stories of love gone wrong, read Jane Austin and Emily Bronte. Don't ask her about it.


    I'm a LIE Te-dom, and I tend to overshare here, but I know a fair number of LSE's and I have NEVER ONCE heard them talk about previous romances. Not once. And if you multiply the number of LSE's I know by the number of years I've known them, you get 225 years. And not once......

    225? I'm gonna take this advice and not touch the topic with a ten foot pole.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    225? I'm gonna take this advice and not touch the topic with a ten foot pole.
    Well, I was a bit wrong there. Once, and only once, my mother (LSE) and father (SLI) were talking about a party they were at when they were first dating, and she said to my father, "Bill (a mutual acquaintance) was drunk and came up to me and told me he was going to steal me away from you." The disdain in her voice and the ludicrousness of Bill's words were obvious even to my young ears. It was pretty obvious to me that no one was going to tell my mother to do anything. She made up her own mind. My father didn't say anything, as usual.

    The two of them formed an impregnable bond against the rest of the world. They are still together.

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    LSE friend came into town for the weekend. It's always caregiver madness when he comes around, I have to remind him everytime not to spend all his money on me and my roommate lol. He clearly is the responsible one out of the friend group between me, him and my ILE roommate whose also good friends with him. He comes into town and literally tells me "Ok your are off driving duty, just sit back and relax." lol it's so corny but appreciated at the same time, even though I have a hard time admitting it. Also someone said that duals make you more pleasant to be around and it could be true, because before he came around I was giving my ILE roommate the silent treatment and after he left, me and my roommate are on peaceful terms again for the time being, the only way I can describe is that I've loosened up/relaxed or something.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Well, I was a bit wrong there. Once, and only once, my mother (LSE) and father (SLI) were talking about a party they were at when they were first dating, and she said to my father, "Bill (a mutual acquaintance) was drunk and came up to me and told me he was going to steal me away from you." The disdain in her voice and the ludicrousness of Bill's words were obvious even to my young ears. It was pretty obvious to me that no one was going to tell my mother to do anything. She made up her own mind. My father didn't say anything, as usual.

    The two of them formed an impregnable bond against the rest of the world. They are still together.
    I remember this story actually lol. But it still wasn't about an ex or anything.

    Also the bold sounds very delta.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    There is a really good chance that you are overthinking this.

    Te-doms are not that tuned in to their feelings. And LSE's tend to react to what is in front of them. Loosen up, tell her some jokes, and I think you will find that everything is as it was before, except maybe she harbors some resentment towards her ex, which she probably won't admit.

    Because she's thinking....damn, another relationship failure. She must suck at this stuff.
    Seems you were right. Last time I spoke to her everything seemed normal.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    The only way I can think to "repair" the relations is through Ne, which is what the relationship revolved around anyway. Some moments of Fi but it was not the theme, it was more like Ne created more Fi fondness.
    Ne just perceives endless possibilities.

    If you love her show her your love and if she sees how much you love her she will submit to that love. End of story.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    Seems you were right. Last time I spoke to her everything seemed normal.
    If you want a relationship with her, just hang around her as much as possible. Be presentable, respectable, and funny. Show up a lot. You will have to be the one seeking her out for help, conversations, after-work parties, whatever.
    After a while (maybe six months, maybe a year), she will ask you "Where is this going?" That's when you need to have the "exclusive" conversation. Alternately, she might simply give you an ultimatum (which kind of reveals her Fi-vulnerability): "Agree to marry me now or I will never ask you again." So you should be pretty clear on your intentions.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    Ne just perceives endless possibilities.

    If you love her show her your love and if she sees how much you love her she will submit to that love. End of story.
    Uh, I don't love her. I just like her lol. I don't know her enough to love her.

    And idk if that's true because one time she asked me to come see her at work, when I got some free time I went to go see her and she said "awww" in a sort of "that's cute but look too eager" kind of way.

    Ne comes up with a bunch of jokes and funny unpredictable antics that make work less boring and makes her like being around me. It's like the big kid inside me can come out and she for some reason appreciates that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    Uh, I don't love her. I just like her lol. I don't know her enough to love her.

    And idk if that's true because one time she asked me to come see her at work, when I got some free time I went to go see her and she said "awww" in a sort of "that's cute but look too eager" kind of way.

    Ne comes up with a bunch of jokes and funny unpredictable antics that make work less boring and makes her like being around me. It's like the big kid inside me can come out and she for some reason appreciates that.
    I don’t pretend to know what goes on inside an LSE’s head, but I don’t think “submitting to love” is in there at all. I think it is more like, “It is time for me to get married and become a fully respectable citizen. This guy meets most of my requirements and doesn’t get on my nerves too much. I think he can get with my program. I will ask him.” Basically, she has to make that decision and see how you are going to help her meet her life goals.

    As for her appreciating the big kid inside of you, I think all Caregivers do this. I’ve seen it time and again. A female SLI at work was very properly and businessy working on her computer and her LII boss came up to talk to her about her mathematical atmospheric models. There was no chair next to her desk, so he grabbed a big blue inflatable exercise ball and sat bouncing on that, and she practically wet herself watching him. It both pissed me off* and made me realize the gulf between Caregiver-Infantile and Aggressor-Victim axis’.

    *I secretly like and admire her because she is my Socionics Supervisor, but she never looks at me the way she looked at him. She is also a near clone of my ex-wife (except she's Iranian instead of Prussian), and watching her give her full, fascinated attention to the LII made me realize in a flash what went wrong with my marriage: I'm not a little kid, and I never act like one. Talk about your projects that were doomed to fail from the start because someone didn't do their homework.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 10-28-2019 at 01:00 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I don’t pretend to know what goes on inside an LSE’s head, but I don’t think “submitting to love” is in there at all. I think it is more like, “It is time for me to get married and become a fully respectable citizen. This guy meets most of my requirements and doesn’t get on my nerves too much. I think he can get with my program. I will ask him.” Basically, she has to make that decision and see how you are going to help her meet her life goals.

    As for her appreciating the big kid inside of you, I think all Caregivers do this. I’ve seen it time and again. A female SLI at work was very properly and businessy working on her computer and her LII boss came up to talk to her about her mathematical atmospheric models. There was no chair next to her desk, so he grabbed a big blue inflatable exercise ball and sat bouncing on that, and she practically wet herself watching him. It both pissed me off* and made me realize the gulf between Caregiver-Infantile and Aggressor-Victim axis’.

    *I secretly like and admire her because she is my Socionics Supervisor, but she never looks at me the way she looked at him. She is also a near clone of my ex-wife (except she's Iranian instead of Prussian), and watching her give her full, fascinated attention to the LII made me realize in a flash what went wrong with my marriage: I'm not a little kid, and I never act like one. Talk about your projects that were doomed to fail from the start because someone didn't do their homework.
    Should have went over their with a pair of scissors and just poked a hole in the ball lol.
    Last edited by Lord Pixel; 10-29-2019 at 08:15 AM.

  17. #6217
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I don’t pretend to know what goes on inside an LSE’s head, but I don’t think “submitting to love” is in there at all. I think it is more like, “It is time for me to get married and become a fully respectable citizen. This guy meets most of my requirements and doesn’t get on my nerves too much. I think he can get with my program. I will ask him.” Basically, she has to make that decision and see how you are going to help her meet her life goals.

    As for her appreciating the big kid inside of you, I think all Caregivers do this. I’ve seen it time and again. A female SLI at work was very properly and businessy working on her computer and her LII boss came up to talk to her about her mathematical atmospheric models. There was no chair next to her desk, so he grabbed a big blue inflatable exercise ball and sat bouncing on that, and she practically wet herself watching him. It both pissed me off* and made me realize the gulf between Caregiver-Infantile and Aggressor-Victim axis’.

    *I secretly like and admire her because she is my Socionics Supervisor, but she never looks at me the way she looked at him. She is also a near clone of my ex-wife (except she's Iranian instead of Prussian), and watching her give her full, fascinated attention to the LII made me realize in a flash what went wrong with my marriage: I'm not a little kid, and I never act like one. Talk about your projects that were doomed to fail from the start because someone didn't do their homework.
    They want love.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    Should have went over their with a pair of scissors and just poked a hole in the ball lol.
    You don’t do Fi- “ When encountering people who are disadvantaged, outcast, unhappy, or weak she experiences a desire to emotionally support them and console them. ”

    I see that something is troubling you. I’m here for you if you need to talk.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  19. #6219
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    I agree on all of this. I'm often hesitant to do something, but then when I push myself and do it, I feel pretty good and it DOES bring about Ni thinking. It also bring about a lot of hope and inspiration for me.
    Quote Originally Posted by ooo View Post
    what works for me, I would definitely see it not working for everyone else. when I engage in Se it's really draining, it's the result of me being "fed up" by the circumstances and people around me, but after the Se release, I always realize I needed that.. it gives me many Ni "aha" moments, makes me think " if only I could have done this in the proper time!". esprit de l'escalier.

    if you can step out of socionics' fixed mentality for a sec, I'm sure that engaging in activities that you don't normally consider would be really beneficial for your growth.
    "I am my own muse. I am the subject I know best, the subject I want to know better."
    4 core, sx/so slight sx bend, xNFp Melancholic, Negotiator, Explorer




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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    You don’t do Fi- “ When encountering people who are disadvantaged, outcast, unhappy, or weak she experiences a desire to emotionally support them and console them. ”

    I see that something is troubling you. I’m here for you if you need to talk.
    Because I made a joke? Damn I must not have Fi then.

    No but seriously, I mean how do you get that I don't do what's in those quotes from that single statement?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    Because I made a joke? Damn I must not have Fi then.

    No but seriously, I mean how do you get that I don't do what's in those quotes from that single statement?
    No go up to her and ask her how might you be of service. Tell her demonstrate your her that you are willing to take the time to sit with her and speak with her about her troubles
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    No go up to her and ask her how might you be of service. Tell her demonstrate your her that you are willing to take the time to sit with her and speak with her about her troubles
    Oh I see what your saying now. I would love to help someone through their struggles but idk, I feel like getting in someone's business might idk make them feel awkward or something. That's why I asked if asking her what happened with her break up was ok, but if it's not I don't wanna ask questions that make someone feel weird.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    Oh I see what your saying now. I would love to help someone through their struggles but idk, I feel like getting in someone's business might idk make them feel awkward or something. That's why I asked if asking her what happened with her break up was ok, but if it's not I don't wanna ask questions that make someone feel weird.
    Well now I would say “if you want it, find a way (Ne)”
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    Well now I would say “if you want it, find a way (Ne)”
    Yea I know -_-.

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    Ok, I'm gonna write this down while it's fresh since it just happened.

    I was able to go out with the LSE girl outside of work. We went to a halloween night event. I had to sort of force it to happen.

    Brief version : LSE definitely confirmed, and very standard by the book dual encounter. And both Beautiful Sky and Adam Strange are right. About LSE wanting love and also needing to be approached for going out and all that. I went expecting to leave with butterflies in my stomach, I left feeling like a counselor.

    Ok full version:


    I message and ask this girl if she's going to the halloween event and after being anxious for about an hour and a half she finally gets back to me and tells me yea. I just invite myself to go with her and ask her what time she'll be there and after another anxious hour she tells me she just arrived. So I rush over to the place which is on the other side of town, get there only to find out parking is through the roof, I tell the guy I'm gonna just leave and exit the event, but end up sneaking into parking anyway because I can't turn around and go home after making it this far, I didn't even know this girl was gonna hit me back and she did, there's no way. I finally meet up with her and she's there with her mom and a friend. I figured she'd at least have her mom and an extra person, come to find out the friend is, if I had to guess her type based off tonight, an EII-Fi, and the mom is probably EIE-Fe, Fe dom for sure. Or just an Fe super charged ILE, idk.

    So we are off on our way to the attractions, and this girl just confirms how LSE she is, she literally spends time most of the way towards attractions planning out a route on her phone to get the the next ride with the shortest wait time. She's walking out front leading the whole way, and me her friend and mom are following her around as she plans these routes. She picked attractions to go to that had the shortest wait time instead of which attractions were best. On top of that, I came dressed like I was going to see a girl but go to a theme park at the same time, so a little nice but casual at the same time. She came dressed appropriate for the weather, it was hot, she had a baseball cap on, shorts, a white tee shirt, a fanny pack with all her stuff in, and athletic walking sneakers, claiming it's too hot to be wearing make up and all that stuff, and that I should have know how the weather was gonna be.

    Most of the time we did not talk a whole lot, she spent time leading routes to attractions and chatting with her friend and mom, and making the occasional comment to me. The WHOLE time I was so in my head, trying to figure out how to fit in her little group, make the group accept me, warm up to me, feeling like maybe they are asking "Why is he here?" just overthinking the whole thing, while also making some jokey comment here and there like a try hard that wants to be liked . When we went to the attractions it was fun, but on the way to each one I had my own little torment going on, worried about us not talking enough and how to get the approval of her friend and mom. Practically went on a date with the mom the whole night.

    The last attraction was a roller coaster. She wanted to go and asked me if I was up for it, hell yes, but her mom and friend were not up for it. So her mom told her she'd stay with the friend and hold our stuff while we went on it. YES! Finally. Just us two doing something. The wait is about 35 mins before we get on the ride. The whole time we were in line our interaction was so by the book socionics it's not even funny. First thing we talk about is how she invited a friend to do this a few days before with her, and that friend never showed up, so she cut them off, blocked them, all that. I react like damn that's harsh and she starts saying that she is quick to cut people off who are "fake" and not genuine, and how alot of friends of her's drop like flies. The whole time I'm telling her, damn you should give people a second chance, that's harsh, you'll never have any real friends that way, and she insists she's fine with out them, she doesn't care. Idk if it was a front or not, good wisdom tells me it is but who knows. She even brings up the boyfriend she broke up with for a brief second and says that it was her fault with that special case. The whole time I'm just giving her advice pretty much saying to give people second chances and not cut them off so quick. I ask her how is she ever gonna get a real friend, and she tells me "When someone genuine and real comes along." She tells me she feels the world is not real anymore, people are fake. I ask her if she can tell when people are being genuine and she tells me she can tell when their actions show it. She also tells me she's not really close to anyone. Not even her friend that she brought with her mom today. But she also says she'll probably never cut her off because she's not the type of person that will "ghost" her like other's have. I tell her some parts about my life and my friends and when I brought up some childhood issues she seemed really tuned into what I was saying, but when I spoke about how I have old friends form highschool and I've only ever cut off one person in my life, idk she stopped looking me in the eye and seemed to not be as into what I was saying, congratulating me on my highschool remaining friendships like I was bragging about them. We went on the roller coaster and it was great. Before she leaves I bring up the fact that she's an extrovert, she insists she's an antisocial introvert, yea right, and that her mom is one too, yea right, and then I take a long ride home feeling like I just finished a counseling session lol.

    We had a really honest talk really fast, I also realized I went there with really idealistic day dreams of how I wanted things to go, and what happened was I met a real person, not just the pretty face I thought she was at work, but a real person with real problems. I def saw the whole duals balance each other out thing, because most of the issues she brought up felt like, not to sound condescending but, "Why are you having problems with that?" and her view of Fi seems similar and different to my own, more looking up at Fi as some sort of big deal, while for me it's like "duh", not to sound condescending again lol. Anyway, it was a good time, I def got a reality check and the rosey glasses I had of her before are gone, but at least I saw a more real version of her, def saw past the pretty face, not as desperate to pursue her anymore, but still interested in getting to know her more at least.
    Last edited by Lord Pixel; 11-04-2019 at 01:29 AM.

  26. #6226
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    11/12/19 I miss my father this morning. For those who don’t know he was SEE type. He used to wake up at 4:45 and make us coffee in the mornings... who does that any more

    I
    Get
    So soooo
    Exhausted
    I
    Need
    A
    Break
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 11-12-2019 at 04:10 PM.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  27. #6227
    Seriously Judicious Emotivist Eliza Thomason's Avatar
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    I have been away from the forum, very preoccupied, with different things, particularly, I have been blessed with a temporary teaching position. Here I am the 4th teacher in 4 years, as the position is challenging.

    This I may not get to keep if the tenured person on leave comes back next year as planned. Possibly she won't come back, and possibly if she returns to work in the district she will be assigned a post in her other certification area, and then they will be glad to keep me where I am. That is my hope. But if that doesn't happen, I will have to move on, after all this investment, and start at square one once again. But I am investing myself fully anyway, because I want at least a stellar recommendation from this year, and to get that means pouring my whole self into this as if I am here for good. I am determined to succeed in all ways and that means putting in long hours. And also having, daily, maximum energy all day from beginning to end. Maximizing my daily energy is a project I am working at constantly as well, and I have made heaps of progress. I feel like a new person! And I want to keep that, and keep improving in every possible way. I just ordered a book on red light therapy, just in case my circadian rhythm needs honing (it's already much better, and one reason is I am, til now, never up this late anymore, as I often was when typing here). Besides sleeping well, I just added taking a walk in the sunlight and fresh air after dismissal and before I return to more hours of work in my classroom or indoors at home.

    I want to share that today I made a major thought-breakthrough when I realized I have been feeling guilty (because perhaps I feel I am being selfish?) about wanting to be successful. This needs to be addressed because being successful is a my goal. And I didn't realize I had this idea holding me back until today, when I "heard" something Jesus said to Judas iscariot, in the book of a mystic, which I was reading while waiting in a long line at a store. [This is a book from multiple volumes on the life of Jesus, 15,000 pages written by this mystic while she was having visions of the life of Jesus, and these works have been confirmed to be miraculous by historians, astronomers, scientists and medical doctors. These volumes are my treasures, my peace, my joy.]

    This realization [of this area of my thought/belief that needed mending], came from the middle of a lot of words and many thoughts that Jesus was saying in a conversation with Judas Iscariot, to calm him down, assure him, guide him. This was in the early days of the Apostleship, when Judas wasn't yet so bad, but was clearly different from the other Apostles. (He was rash, young, impulsive and irritable, to name a few). In the middle of these many words, Jesus said this to him:

    "...You want to be the winner. You are anxious to be 'applauded'. Do you not realize that victory is certain when it is conquered by constant, patient, and prudent work?"

    It was as if God were highlighting these words just for me. Like a light shined down on them, saying "Look here. See this." A gift for me. The fact that Jesus affirmed that Judas wanted these things assured me God does not say that it is wrong to want it to "win" or to be applauded. If it were, Jesus would have said so. Instead, he tells how it is achieved.

    So this will be my new mantra. I am going to write these words out and post them on my desks, and on the dashboard of my car to read on my commute in, and to reflect on when I commute home. When I get anxious about things not done, or things not yet perfect, or if I feel bad about desiring success for myself, I will reject such anxiety and thoughts. Because success is going to be something "conquer" bit by bit, with constancy, patience, and prudence.
    "A man with a definite belief always appears bizarre, because he does not change with the world; he has climbed into a fixed star, and the earth whizzes below him like a zoetrope."
    ........ G. ........... K. ............... C ........ H ........ E ...... S ........ T ...... E ........ R ........ T ........ O ........ N ........


    "Having a clear faith, based on the creed of the Church, is often labeled today as fundamentalism... Whereas relativism, which is letting oneself be tossed and swept along
    by every wind of teaching, looks like the only
    attitude acceptable to today's standards."
    - Pope Benedict the XVI, "The Dictatorship of Relativism"

    .
    .
    .


  28. #6228
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Time to rescue an EII friend who is in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic LSE partner
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  29. #6229
    Dark Rainbow bouncingoffclouds's Avatar
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    I hope everything turns out well Sky
    "I am my own muse. I am the subject I know best, the subject I want to know better."
    4 core, sx/so slight sx bend, xNFp Melancholic, Negotiator, Explorer




  30. #6230
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bouncingoffclouds View Post
    I hope everything turns out well Sky
    It didn’t turn out well. EII have a very difficult time leaving a well established relationship even if the person is abusive because we are lovers...because we want things to work for a long time...because we exhaust every avenue of possibilities to make things work and my friend is locked into that right now
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  31. #6231
    Dark Rainbow bouncingoffclouds's Avatar
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    I'm sorry to hear that. If she has been with him for a long time, it's definitely understandable, especially if the behavior just started. If he's drinking to the point of abuse without being able to stop, he clearly has a serious issue and is also probably self-medicating for deeper underlying issues, but that is no excuse to allow something as serious as abuse to continue. I hope she gathers the courage to leave if he refuses to stop/change/get help. It may be what she needs to do as a potential catalyst for his getting help.

    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    It didn’t turn out well. EII have a very difficult time leaving a well established relationship even if the person is abusive because we are lovers...because we want things to work for a long time...because we exhaust every avenue of possibilities to make things work and my friend is locked into that right now
    "I am my own muse. I am the subject I know best, the subject I want to know better."
    4 core, sx/so slight sx bend, xNFp Melancholic, Negotiator, Explorer




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