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Thread: Seeming happy-go-lucky when you're anything but

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    Default Seeming happy-go-lucky when you're anything but

    Is this type-related? I am wondering whether attempting to cover it when you're sad is type-related, and also whether being good at it is.

    So... is seeming happy-go-lucky when you're anything but related to strong Fe, or practice, or what?
    Last edited by female; 11-20-2009 at 06:25 PM.

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    It probably is type-related. To what I don't know. I do know that I don't do that. I can push it out of my mind for a while. And I don't at all like acting sad when I am sad because then people will ask what is wrong and what if I start crying and oh god... so I might be able to act like I have no feelings instead for a while and try to hold that facade just focusing on what needs to be done. I can't act cheerful though if I don't feel cheerful. To do so I would have to make myself feel cheerful and I can't do that either because I feel something else.

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    hmmmm. Usually when I know I'm going to be out in public and I'm feeling sad, I can kind of gear myself up to be truly friendly and focus on other people instead of myself. These days whatever's making me sad is unlikely to change anytime soon so it's more a question of living with it and not letting it get me down on a regular basis. Pushing it into the box on the shelf inside my head or whatever. It's still there, but doesn't have to control my actions/emotions 24/7.

    But it doesn't sound like I'm as good as you are at this, SOS!
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    I'm very much like you in this regard. Most people never know when I am sad. Even when something major happens people think I am somehow fine. I get irritated though when they interpret it "he can't be sad, he is never sad" or "he doesn't care" as both those statements couldn't be further from the truth and in fact hurt. I guess I just like to sulk on my own and the least I want is someone from the outside to see what I'm going through.
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    Hmm, it depends. I tend to obviously space out or be visibly preoccupied if there's something on my mind, but that could be a result of being an obsessive thinker to begin with (in plain English: my mind quite literally never stops thinking).

    I do agree though that being around other people distracts and energizes me, and I'm more likely to space out if there's nobody fun or interesting to talk to at school, whether I'm sad or not.

    Also, being at school gives me the option of totally withdrawing and staying locked in my room (not literally ) if things are really getting me down.

    Something strange about my two close SLI friends is that they managed each somehow to tell that I'm nowhere near as happy as I look, which is pretty cool if you ask me.

    Theory-wise, I have no idea. I think this would certainly apply for Fps, since both have producing Fe, and will thus be concerned with the emotional impact they have on others.

    EDIT

    As for "if anyone asks me what's wrong", I smile and say "nothing, don't worry about it". Unless I particularly trust you, that is. And perhaps it's a guy thing, but even then, I only want to share if I think there's some way of overcoming it, or to tell you not to worry.

    That's not necessarily entirely true. Sometimes I do just want to talk through something, but such instances are when I'm being totally overwhelmed again by one of my Kind of a Big Deal issues.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SoapOfSapphire View Post
    Is this type-related? I am wondering whether attempting to cover it when you're sad is type-related, and also whether being good at it is.

    I can cover up sadness very, very well. For example, the past few days [especially yesterday] I felt very drained and sad, and I even cried a bit while on my own [hmm... hooray for almost-anonymity on the internetz]. BUT in front of people I was my normal, friendly, happy-seeming self. My brother even stopped by while I was at work yesterday and commented afterward that he couldn't believe how much better I was feeling already [he knew I had been down, and why] - even he was fooled.

    I act happy when I'm not bc... well I guess that's what matches the way I normally appear, and I don't want to let people I'm not close with know I'm down or why... I don't really share my problems at all, unless maybe I'm making a joke or something, which, btw, seems to cause some people to think I must be fluffy and/or live a perfect sort of life, but that's another story.

    So... is seeming happy-go-lucky when you're anything but related to strong Fe, or practice, or what?
    My mom does this and I HATE it. There's no reason for her to hide her real feelings, especially from the people that care for her the most.

    BUT in front of people I was my normal, friendly, happy-seeming self. My brother even stopped by while I was at work yesterday and commented afterward that he couldn't believe how much better I was feeling already [he knew I had been down, and why] - even he was fooled.
    Well it seems you got some crazy acting skillz. Perhaps you deserve an applause? (But seriously, I don't get the point. It's like you seem almost proud of something that doesn't make sense to me at all)

    Quote Originally Posted by SoapOfSapphire View Post
    I act happy when I'm not bc... well I guess that's what matches the way I normally appear, and I don't want to let people I'm not close with know I'm down or why... I don't really share my problems at all, unless maybe I'm making a joke or something, which, btw, seems to cause some people to think I must be fluffy and/or live a perfect sort of life, but that's another story.
    Why do you feel the need to hide your feelings and problems from people? But leave strangers aside... why not be unconditionally open and share your problems (& feelings) with your close ones?
    Last edited by Park; 10-31-2009 at 04:00 AM.
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    i know an enfp-fi whos house burnt down and she continued to act like she was happyish by about 3 days. also her dog died in the flames. i would wear my flaws around her, talking about how i'd taken drugs or done things. we both worked together. she seemed stunned i would be so open

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