Hm I think your referring to the superego taking hints from the duals Id block. Your see your dual using your role function in a way that supports your suggestive (their base), so you start using it in the same way. But your role is weak and they will automatically resist it when it negatively affects their base. But this affects you too as your suggestive and you mimic their example again, etc. gradually you get better at your role and their unconscious resistence weakens, it actually becomes impossible for them to oppose your role when it is supporting their base.
Ummm...
I've been in a situation where SEI says that I need act tougher, in a way ESEs are bit easier in this regard. I get bit upset if I order people around.