Experiencing Dual Relations
by G. Shulman
translated main points of this article.
The International Socionics Institute
Published in the newspaper “Unexplored world”, No.3, 2001
Meeting a dual, interacting with your dual, positive self-realization in a relationship knowing your dual (dualization), duality is the relationship of complete mutual complement…
As derived from Aushra Augustinavichute’s discovery of intertype relations, the cornerstone of the wonderful science Socionics.
Actually, as written by Aushra Augustinavichute, when you look at a dual couple, you feel as thought you are looking at a separated androgynous pair. Their interactions and behavior seem so organic, natural and comfortable. Moreover, duals completely trust each other.
In short a dual is that elusive missing “soul mate” or “other half” that everyone dreams to meet. (However, how can you meet the dream if you do not know what to look for?)
For example, when people are in a dual relationship, they forget about their inferiority complexes. No complexes! Duals are liberated, relaxed and confident that somebody needs them (first of all their duals need them and the society needs also them)
When one dual reveals something new, the others spontaneously responded to this as normal behavior.
Duals speak about everything. Dropping all of your barriers does not trouble your dual; you can bare your true soul. You seem completely normal to your dual. The senses of shame and awkwardness completely disappear.
The person who has grown up in dual family or lives with dual spouse is a well-adjusted person, as opposed to another who was grown up in psychologically negative atmosphere.
Dual families are long-term, reliable, stable and happy. In fact, the age of spouses does not matter.
It is interesting that according to different investigations, dual families exist more often than would be found by the mean average of 6.25 % (this based on 16 possible relationships). But it is around 30 % (according to data collected by Aushra Augustinavichute) or around 45% (according to surveys made by the International Socionics Institute).
There are some downsides to dual relationships. One is what can be called an un-training characteristic. (What is this characteristic? If one encounters a difficult un-manageable situation, your dual takes on those obligations!). Could this be a reason that when the one spouse dies the other one also dies shortly after?
Duals are also rather jealous. Aushra Augustinavichute writes, “Anybody who has developed relations with a dual will not try to change these relations for another”. Occasionally by chance a third person who is a dual for one of spouses can appear.
In this situation, you need to love your dual very much to absolve any real or imaginary mischief.
Jack London describes the essence of this in the book Little Lady of the Big House.
Another negative side effect of dual relations is the compete relaxing of duals – It is too nice to be together. Therefore, they need to have contacts in external world. Both duals can have negative contacts for example when they work at their offices. In this case, duals restore their energy and strength at their home. (even if duals work together, i.e. spent 24 hours per day)
Overall, dual relations have been talk about a great deal. Aushra Augustinavichute, her followers and students wrote and published a lot about dual contact in the magazine “Socionics, methodology and psychology of personality” (in Russian).
Dual relations are only one of the 16 intertype relations in the socion. Dual relations, just as any other, need to be developed. It takes some time to become accustomed to each other.
Socionics is not the only factor describing people and their intrapersonal relations. In addition, many other factors affect us. Moreover, the successful formation of dual relationships depends on what personal development has occurred (culture, education, upbringing, ect.).
Socionics researchers studying the development of dual relations found it had eight common stages.
Not always occurring in the same order depending on the Quadra and which dual pair.
As not to be confused with the way other relationships develop, refer to these common characteristics.
It is especially important because the dual contact is worthwhile.
So be attentive to it.
1. The sensing a necessity to meet again. You notice this afterwards, after your first contact. It is something unconscious, perceptive and mysterious. An inevitable feeling as if you need to meet this person again. Unexpectedly, they attached to something within you. Suddenly you begin to understand that you really need to see this person. If you do something, your thoughts are about this person.
2. A Persons who for the first time in their life finds themselves in dual contact tries to remember: “Where could have we meet with before?!” (Of course, it is uselessly). Nevertheless, both are sure they have known each other for many years.
3. The sensation of safety appears for both duals. You observe this sensation and you cannot mix it with something up. A sensation of amazing and undisturbed composure describes this. It happens in the moment, a forming of common atmosphere; it can be easy felt, you intuitively know.
4. Both duals begin to feel simultaneously and equally the “impossibility” to be separated even for short time. It is very an exact and very real sensation of dual contact.
5. Both duals feel something like an internal joy, that fills up the soul. The smile on your face appears like a quiet happy smile of conciliation and rest.
The joy as behavior reaction is one of most accurate characteristic of dual dyad. This joy can appear without any certain reason. (Duals can laugh even without any certain reason just looking to each other. This joy arises like from sub consciousness – J.S.)
6. Little by little, both duals begin to feel, the need for maximum and close contact. If persons are not married, then it’s a good start for relations. If both duals have their own families, it is hard to keep their families. It is interesting that it is just natural evolution of the situation. It happens spontaneously like a “matter-of-course”…
7. The leveling of dual energy. This phenomenon appears almost immediately. The duals should just to be together, just to seat close by, sometimes even without touching each other. The maximum term for leveling of dual energy – 40 minutes (it is a result of investigation) and after that duals renew their energy. It does not depend on the depth of the “energy hole”.
8. This is most interesting stage. Duals cannot describe their feelings. You feel so comfortable, so at ease, it is as if you feel nothing at all…Sometimes it is impossible to notice the presence of your dual. Sometimes you completely forget about your dual all, then suddenly you see your dual!!! (How could I forget about them???)
Moreover, absolutely all of the above appears and happens only spontaneously!
Unfortunately, sometimes we can truly appreciate our dual only after our time with them is finished and your dual has gone. As they say, sometimes we appreciate somebody only after we lose them.
Therefore, dear friend, be attentive to your duals!!!