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Thread: "Coming on too strong"

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    Ezra's Avatar
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    Default "Coming on too strong"

    I think most people who have an issue with this lack passion. It annoys me, because that's all it is - evidence of an impassioned life; evidence of someone who thinks about life; someone who actually gives a shit. Those who are unfazed by passion earn my respect and my interest. Often they, too, are just as passionate, and their passion is what makes them so attractive as people. Those who shy away, look fearful and ignore you because you are "vexatious to the spirit" (ironic, really, because they are the ones who are so vexatious - they don't have any spirit; they're lifeless) - they are not worth my time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ezra View Post
    I think most people who have an issue with this lack passion. It annoys me, because that's all it is - evidence of an impassioned life; evidence of someone who thinks about life; someone who actually gives a shit. Those who are unfazed by passion earn my respect and my interest. Often they, too, are just as passionate, and their passion is what makes them so attractive as people. Those who shy away, look fearful and ignore you because you are "vexatious to the spirit" (ironic, really, because they are the ones who are so vexatious - they don't have any spirit; they're lifeless) - they are not worth my time.
    passion is a great thing....drives us and what we do...you've gotta care about things. and not being put off by passionate people is the mark of someone who knows how to get people to channel their passions productively.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ezra View Post
    I think most people who have an issue with this lack passion. It annoys me, because that's all it is - evidence of an impassioned life; evidence of someone who thinks about life; someone who actually gives a shit. Those who are unfazed by passion earn my respect and my interest. Often they, too, are just as passionate, and their passion is what makes them so attractive as people. Those who shy away, look fearful and ignore you because you are "vexatious to the spirit" (ironic, really, because they are the ones who are so vexatious - they don't have any spirit; they're lifeless) - they are not worth my time.
    I know this was posted in Beta quadra, so I understand that you guys don't care too much about an Ne-esque response of "it depends on the situation," but I think that judging someone because they don't respond to your energy doesn't necessarily mean that they are dispassionate... Speaking for myself, the only passion I care for is focused and controlled, and most importantly, strategic. It makes me uncomfortable when someone is passionate about something without forcing themselves to evaluate from a detached pov whatever it is that they are passionate about, so as to avoid going nowhere, wasting time, etc. I've realized that this wary disposition I have is from the inner child that is hurt badly by disillusionment . When somebody (or me) has a plan of action that convinces me of success (or there is sound logic behind it) I get energized, and become "passionate." I don't know if this applies to your situation, but I thought it might offer an alternative to those people you claim are dispassionate.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sereno View Post
    It makes me uncomfortable when someone is passionate about something without forcing themselves to evaluate from a detached pov whatever it is that they are passionate about, so as to avoid going nowhere, wasting time, etc.
    Good point. I think passion is great but reason and effectiveness should also be considered when displaying passion, especially in public.
    EII

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    Quote Originally Posted by kproj View Post
    I just don't think that people who have issue with others "coming on too strong" are necessarily spiritless or lifeless...rather, they don't want people with conflicting beliefs or desires wasting their time and energy. Ezra, taking offense to these kinds of people, doesn't seem to understand this concept.
    Having conflicting beliefs and desires is one thing; being immune to emotional activation is another. Even with people whose beliefs I disagree with, I can still become charged from hearing them speak about them, or perhaps from debating our respective beliefs. It's about the energy.

    Personally, I find people who have hidden passions, which they pursue independently, without regard to what other people think, to be much more interesting and attractive than people who feel compelled to impose their views on first contact with others.
    Same. I prefer to maintain a solid sense of internal control with most of my passions, be it a personal vision for some venture or just a hobby.

    Quote Originally Posted by JWC3 View Post
    is being attracted to people with passion a sterotypically beta thing?
    No, but it will determine what kind of "passionate" people you prefer to be around.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sereno View Post
    I know this was posted in Beta quadra, so I understand that you guys don't care too much about an Ne-esque response of "it depends on the situation," but I think that judging someone because they don't respond to your energy doesn't necessarily mean that they are dispassionate... Speaking for myself, the only passion I care for is focused and controlled, and most importantly, strategic. It makes me uncomfortable when someone is passionate about something without forcing themselves to evaluate from a detached pov whatever it is that they are passionate about, so as to avoid going nowhere, wasting time, etc. I've realized that this wary disposition I have is from the inner child that is hurt badly by disillusionment . When somebody (or me) has a plan of action that convinces me of success (or there is sound logic behind it) I get energized, and become "passionate." I don't know if this applies to your situation, but I thought it might offer an alternative to those people you claim are dispassionate.
    I care about strategic passion a lot. Immediately upon setting my vision on some distant pursuit, I will instinctively begin calculating, touching on every possible nuance, socially, emotionally, whatever, it's all there. That doesn't mean I can't express it fervently, or that doing so might even be part of the very strategy itself. Granted, I've had my fair share of short fuses, but by no means would I simply want blind enthusiasm behind a project.

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    Quote Originally Posted by strrrng View Post
    I care about strategic passion a lot. Immediately upon setting my vision on some distant pursuit, I will instinctively begin calculating, touching on every possible nuance, socially, emotionally, whatever, it's all there. That doesn't mean I can't express it fervently, or that doing so might even be part of the very strategy itself. Granted, I've had my fair share of short fuses, but by no means would I simply want blind enthusiasm behind a project.
    Yeah, I was referring to people who don't convey that they've actually given some thought into what they are passionate about. I do what you mention as well, about taking every detail into consideration, but this leads me to get feelings of massive procrastination sometimes . It's like an inverted parabolic curve for me, where I get all worked up about it, and then at the peak I realize the amount of work of making sure all the details are taken care of, and then I just go "fuck it."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sereno View Post
    Yeah, I was referring to people who don't convey that they've actually given some thought into what they are passionate about. I do what you mention as well, about taking every detail into consideration, but this leads me to get feelings of massive procrastination sometimes . It's like an inverted parabolic curve for me, where I get all worked up about it, and then at the peak I realize the amount of work of making sure all the details are taken care of, and then I just go "fuck it."
    Yeah, those people just seem pretty futile to me lol. I agree about the procrastination -- internal parabola is a perfect metaphor. I mean, I'm usually gauging stuff like that, developments, catalysts of activity, such on. I say "fuck it" when I've mulled over things a million times, and know that I need to act before I get pulled into a mindless trap of delusional speculation. It can feel like I'm risking things, as if the calculation didn't matter, but it usually shows itself to be an intuitive realization of the most significant paths of action.

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    Quote Originally Posted by octopuslove View Post
    I agree, I've come to believe that each quadra has a completely different definition of "passion".

    What is Betas?
    IEI, sp/sx 4w3.

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    The Soul Happy-er JWC3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dinki View Post
    What is Betas?
    Passion is beta NFs.
    Easy Day

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    What-ever Ezra. Is all I got to say. What-ever.

    I suppose I'm like that sometimes, given a certain circumstances. Sometimes I want passion and feeling, other times I want logic and rationality.

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    Probably you're just an asshole.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    lmfao

    +1 for Ezra's post.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    I agree, Ezra. But there are also the hyper-active, emotionally-invasive, self-aggrandizing idiots who spew bullshit in everyone's faces to gratify their hollow self-images, and when spurned, rationalize it as their being "too intense and passionate" for others. That shit, I hate.

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    "Coming on too strong" is a sign of being too self-involved. "Passion" does not require throwing yourself into people's faces.

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    Quote Originally Posted by kproj View Post
    "Coming on too strong" is a sign of being too self-involved. "Passion" does not require throwing yourself into people's faces.
    That's the thing, though. The people who are that "self-involved" welcome such kind of behavior from others, because their underlying goal is some sort of involvement with another thing. It's a sense of intimacy, pretty much. Seeing someone else with similar drives is pretty enlivening. It tells me that I don't have to hold back with them, and that they are willing to go to the end, so to speak.

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