View Poll Results: What sort of romantic relationships are you open to?

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  • ONLY Duality relationships

    17 25.76%
  • Open to other types besides Duality

    49 74.24%
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Thread: Duality: for those who are single and looking

  1. #41

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    Quote Originally Posted by greed View Post
    Out of curiosity, what do you find that Si does for you? I have a hard time pinpointing when exactly I see it in other people..
    Tiny Dancer did a great job explaining this!! Your sister sounds sooo much fun! That night sounds awesome, with the scrabble and all the different activities.

    As for Si, I'll add that I have this thing....where if I'm eating or drinking, I want someone to focus on their own food and drink enough that I can also relax and enjoy just eating/drinking too. The ENFj guy didn't look around, didn't notice the surroundings, didn't even seem to see what he was drinking -- he just kept talking about abstract things right at me. So it distracted me from all Si things and I didn't feel grounded (I felt even less grounded then when alone actually). We were sitting in a hard wooden uncomfortable booth for 2 hours with not tasty drinks that were mostly empty, with blaring music, in dark lighting, with nothing to look at, etc. ick.

    An Si type will really experience things physically, I notice that, and it reminds me those things exist. Then I can relax into that. I need some moments of silence to just enjoy chewing my food or enjoy my wine or whatever. There need to be those little pauses to enjoy that, and just to look around and take in the surroundings. I also talk a lot, but when I'm done I can come back down to reality to just "hanging out here, right now."

    Si types are very aware of like, just sitting in a chair. They experience that and are fully "there." I forget I'm even sitting down. I sit in ridiculous positions and sometimes notice I've completely cut off circulation to a leg or something, lol.

    So when I see them fully grounded sitting in their chair or whatever, and then if they touch my arm or something, I'll totally be sucked into that grounded feeling. nice. I will then want to jump over the table and cuddle with them. (and probably would if there weren't people around haha).

    None of that happens w/ non Si types.

    I remember going to the movies w/ an ISTp years ago and I was so ridiculously all over him it's kind of embarassing to admit. We'd only gone out a few times, but he put his arm around me or something and then I pretty much was like a dog who just comes over and sits on you and won't leave, lol. I remember him almost laughing at one point, seeming sort of flattered, yet confused.
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

  2. #42
    redbaron's Avatar
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    jewels you're so adorable. If I were an ISTp or ISFp male, I'd be all over you. (is that weird to say??)
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  3. #43

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    jewels you're so adorable. If I were an ISTp or ISFp male, I'd be all over you. (is that weird to say??)
    aww thanks! lol, I def take that as a compliment!
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

  4. #44
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    It was the introvert/extrovert thing that convinced me I'd rather be with my dual, all things considered. I have exclusively dated introverts. I have in fact dated every introvert type except my identical, although I pined for one in particular for a long time. I always assumed I'd marry an introvert.

    But you know what, it's so HARD to keep a relationship going with them (not to mention starting one). It's just hard and it's a big reason it's never worked out: because we don't talk about things. And sometimes I really want to talk but we introverts send out vibes of "don't talk to me", whether we mean to or not. So he doesn't talk to me and I don't talk to him.

    Also, things can get boring. I don't want drama, but I need help to get things going. I am a naturally social person, to the extent that I really like people and care about them. So who can help me interact with the world when I want to? Not an introvert, not that I've seen.

    On the other hand, my duals initiate with ME for a change. They don't seem uncomfortable talking to me, and in fact, seem to prefer being the ones to initiate rather than having me do it. And when I do initiate contact or conversations, they seem to appreciate it but not require it. Now some extroverts seem needy to me, probably because what they need I can't provide. But my duals just take something from me and yet I don't feel drained. I can't stress enough the value of having someone who will come to me, approach me, talk to me, keep talking to me, seek me out. I really need that. I will respond, I'm very responsive (which gets me taken advantage of by some).

    It's kind of funny because on the poll I didn't vote for wanting a dual only but the more I talk, the more I want one.
    EII
    4w5, sp/sx

  5. #45
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    jewels, your post just made me experience cuteness, and that's definitely a compliment . Makes me wonder, do you sometimes get angry when a guy doesn't take you seriously? I can see you be all cute and then when you say something serious it might not be taken as such.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by tiny_dancer View Post
    I like Si because somehow we end up doing the most random stuff, whatever we feel like doing, and it ends up so much more fun than anything we ever could have planned.

    For instance, when my SEI sister came to visit, one night we went to dinner, then decided we hadn't played Scrabble in forever, so we ran to Target and bought it, took it to a bar patio and played a couple games, then ended up joining another person and celebrating a friend's birthday at another bar until midnight. Nothing was really planned except dinner.

    Another day, instead of doing the typical cheesy tourist stuff, we ended up going to a historic cemetery and doing grave rubbings, also on the spur of the moment.

    She just reminds me to live and enjoy "now" and not plan too much or worry too much. It's easier for me to relax and not try too hard around her.
    Hmmm. I never really associate ISTp at least with doing random things like that, except for one friend who makes it a point to be like this, or even like playing board games. I would think that what's attractive to Ne types is they have this attitude of being up for just about anything you invited them to do (but you just have to ask even if they seem like they don't want to go). Happened to me today actually , but I have experience in the matter. They're like the reliable people for when you are organizing a group outing, because they won't cancel at the last minute if they say they'll go. Sometimes don't talk much, maybe giving the impression of disinterest, but they're just being comfortable. But I really have a hard time imagining a very outgoing and "whoa let's do this now!" SLI, though I've met one before. At their most comfortable, I bet that they are just fine with staying home and not doing crazy, random things, they might just not admit it because then they'll get into the "unsociable" status by people, or be criticized for simply not feeling like going out.

  7. #47
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    Danielle, I totally agree with that post.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  8. #48
    oh man, greed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    ...
    Oh, that. Yeah, I love that!

    "Grounded" is probably the right word to use. When I met my SEI, there was a certain grounding quality that I noticed about her.. and I definitely notice it when we're together.

    On my own, I tend to just blaze through food.. I'll eat it insanely quickly without sitting down and just enjoying it. Though I love to just kick back and enjoy it, it's just not in my nature to do so. So, I love people who can help me in that regard
    IEE-Ne | ENFP | 4w3-6w7-9w1 so/sp/sx | sCoA|I| | Sanguine/Choleric | Benevolent Inventor

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  9. #49
    Snomunegot munenori2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    jewels you're so adorable. If I were an ISTp or ISFp male, I'd be all over you. (is that weird to say??)
    Hey, I'll vouch for it. No weirdies.
    Moonlight will fall
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    Your heart will mend

  10. #50
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    Going only for duality means passing by 15 out of 16 girls that I meet. I couldn't live with that.

  11. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nevero View Post
    Going only for duality means passing by 15 out of 16 girls that I meet. I couldn't live with that.
    You need to know what "kind" of girl to look for, that's all.

    Also, are you SLE?

  12. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Johannes Bloem View Post
    Also, are you SLE?
    If I answer yes, would you be my dual?

  13. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nevero View Post
    If I answer yes, would you be my dual?
    Only if you answer yes.

  14. #54
    "Cool Mafia Godfather" ~SLE Leader's Avatar
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    relationship? fuck dating. I feel attraction for women of every type...

  15. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Johannes Bloem View Post
    Only if you answer yes.
    I don't shoot that way.

  16. #56
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leader View Post
    relationship? fuck dating. I feel attraction for women of every type...
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  17. #57
    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    So when I see them fully grounded sitting in their chair or whatever, and then if they touch my arm or something, I'll totally be sucked into that grounded feeling. nice. I will then want to jump over the table and cuddle with them. (and probably would if there weren't people around haha).

    None of that happens w/ non Si types.

    I remember going to the movies w/ an ISTp years ago and I was so ridiculously all over him it's kind of embarassing to admit. We'd only gone out a few times, but he put his arm around me or something and then I pretty much was like a dog who just comes over and sits on you and won't leave, lol. I remember him almost laughing at one point, seeming sort of flattered, yet confused.
    Interestingly, shortly after finishing a 3-week stint of working closely with an SLI, I had a vivid dream about sitting cuddled up with him, with a blanket over our legs. And under the blanket, our legs were intertwined. I wonder if it was that Si-pull manifesting in that way, since being touchy feely wasn't an option because of professionalism reasons and because we weren't dating (or even friends, for that matter).
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

  18. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nevero View Post
    I don't shoot that way.
    Then don't answer yes ?

  19. #59
    The Quiet Individualist Waster's Avatar
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    I'm open to all romantic relationships. But LONG term, marriage and children wise I'd like a dual, mainly because I'd like a rational distribution of responsibilities; for instance I wouldn't want to have to be the one dealing with people and emotions. That's just not me. Don't get me wrong, I'm open for growth but that's not where I feel comfortable.

    Semi Dual and Activity with the correct subtype could be possible but we'll see. There's obviously a lot of other factors at play too.

    I actually asked out my Activity partner (with the wrong subtype) recently and was rejected. I was glad to be honest. I found her very attractive: but there was a large gulf in communication between us; but I knew I had to get it over with. My body just wasn't agreeing with reality.
    Last edited by Waster; 02-24-2014 at 02:26 PM.





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  20. #60
    So fluffeh. Cuddly McFluffles's Avatar
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    I don't see duality happening for me. I haven't identified any LIEs close to me, so this could just be me generalizing too much, but I think someone with PoLR would be the very last thing I need. With my medical conditions, I have to listen to my body and not over-tax it. I also get down on myself very easily because I expect that my body should be performing to a certain standard, and I often forget that this is no longer a realistic expectation. Should I ever attempt a relationship, I need someone who understands that and who reminds me that it's OK to take that kind of time-out or to not expect too much from myself.
    Johari/Nohari

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  21. #61
    The Reclusive Philosopher Phantom Shadow's Avatar
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    Serious Relationships: Duals only
    Casual Relationships: Gammas only
    MBTI: INTJ
    Socionics:ILI (Ni-Fi)
    Enneagram Type: 5w4
    Enneagram Tritype: Head-5, Gut-9 Heart-4
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    Sp/Sx Mid
    Jung's 12 Archetypes: Self-Sage, Ego-Hero, Soul-Rebel

  22. #62
    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryene Astraelis View Post
    I don't see duality happening for me. I haven't identified any LIEs close to me, so this could just be me generalizing too much, but I think someone with PoLR would be the very last thing I need. With my medical conditions, I have to listen to my body and not over-tax it. I also get down on myself very easily because I expect that my body should be performing to a certain standard, and I often forget that this is no longer a realistic expectation. Should I ever attempt a relationship, I need someone who understands that and who reminds me that it's OK to take that kind of time-out or to not expect too much from myself.
    If that's what you feel you need, you probably are not ESI.
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

  23. #63

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryene Astraelis View Post
    I don't see duality happening for me. I haven't identified any LIEs close to me, so this could just be me generalizing too much, but I think someone with PoLR would be the very last thing I need. With my medical conditions, I have to listen to my body and not over-tax it. I also get down on myself very easily because I expect that my body should be performing to a certain standard, and I often forget that this is no longer a realistic expectation. Should I ever attempt a relationship, I need someone who understands that and who reminds me that it's OK to take that kind of time-out or to not expect too much from myself.
    I'd hope that someone who loved you would listen to what you felt about your own body, Si-PoLR or not.
    I feel like, regardless of whether or not someone was Si-valuing they would be able to do that if they realized that was a serious thing and also learned to recognize the signals you exhibit (!) (I hope. I don't really know. But that sounds reasonable to me.)

  24. #64

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryene Astraelis View Post
    I don't see duality happening for me. I haven't identified any LIEs close to me, so this could just be me generalizing too much, but I think someone with PoLR would be the very last thing I need. With my medical conditions, I have to listen to my body and not over-tax it. I also get down on myself very easily because I expect that my body should be performing to a certain standard, and I often forget that this is no longer a realistic expectation. Should I ever attempt a relationship, I need someone who understands that and who reminds me that it's OK to take that kind of time-out or to not expect too much from myself.
    i would say LIEs tend to listen to what their SO tells them
    and also they're victims and they kinda adjust themselves to accommodate the aggressor? ie 'arranged under their tastes'
    they also are very good about doing things so i wouldn't give up hope

  25. #65
    both sides, now wacey's Avatar
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    Mahahahaaha, this thread.


  26. #66
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    i don't even make eye contact with people who are not my duals. waste of my time.

  27. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryene Astraelis View Post
    I don't see duality happening for me. I haven't identified any LIEs close to me, so this could just be me generalizing too much, but I think someone with PoLR would be the very last thing I need. With my medical conditions, I have to listen to my body and not over-tax it. I also get down on myself very easily because I expect that my body should be performing to a certain standard, and I often forget that this is no longer a realistic expectation. Should I ever attempt a relationship, I need someone who understands that and who reminds me that it's OK to take that kind of time-out or to not expect too much from myself.
    From reading this post and other health related posts of yours in the delta forum, you seem Si-valuing to me.
    You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek.
    But first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril.
    You shall see things, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... cow... on the roof of a cotton house. And, oh, so many startlements.
    I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the ob-stacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward.
    Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation
    .


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  28. #68
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    If a non dual asks me out on a date imma like

    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim
    'Bitch, please, don't u no socionicz?'

  29. #69
    Mermaid with Stellar views SyrupDeGem's Avatar
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    Dual or Die Forever

    Now this is a story all about how, my type got changed, turned upside down. Just wait for a minute and watch chatbox right there, & I'll tell how Gem became the moderator with blue hair.

    In typology central friended and praised, on the picture thread was where she spent most her days. Chilling out, selfies, relaxing all cool, And all typing some people and getting them schooled.

    When a couple of girls who were up to no good, Started annoying her & her friends in the forumhood, She got in one little flame war & got pissed off & said 'I'm moving in with that exboyfriend in the forum with the socionics toffs.

    So Gem pulls up to the forum for a year without being a hater, And yells to typocentral 'Yo creeps! Smell Ya later', Became a mod in her kingdom she was finally there, To sit on her throne as the mod with blue hair.

    InvisibruJim

  30. #70
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    Whoever wants to get rich, here is your dual and maybe identical for some:


  31. #71
    boom boom boom blackburry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryene Astraelis View Post
    I don't see duality happening for me. I haven't identified any LIEs close to me, so this could just be me generalizing too much, but I think someone with PoLR would be the very last thing I need. With my medical conditions, I have to listen to my body and not over-tax it. I also get down on myself very easily because I expect that my body should be performing to a certain standard, and I often forget that this is no longer a realistic expectation. Should I ever attempt a relationship, I need someone who understands that and who reminds me that it's OK to take that kind of time-out or to not expect too much from myself.

    I'm an embarrassment to Se egos everywhere: because of work... I'm a loserly hypochondriac. for weeks I thought I had a swollen lymph node under my right armpit and was convinced I had some form of cancer or disease. and felt for it maybe... 15x a day. ...turns out it was just an ingrown hair from shaving with a dull razor. and it's gone now.

    I stress myself with worst-case scenario a lot.

  32. #72
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StridingStrider View Post
    I'm open to all romantic relationships. But LONG term, marriage and children wise I'd like a dual, mainly because I'd like a rational distribution of responsibilities; for instance I wouldn't want to have to be the one dealing with people and emotions. That's just not me. Don't get me wrong, I'm open for growth but that's not where I feel comfortable.

    Semi Dual and Activity with the correct subtype could be possible but we'll see. There's obviously a lot of other factors at play too.

    I actually asked out my Activity partner (with the wrong subtype) recently and was rejected. I was glad to be honest. I found her very attractive: but there was a large gulf in communication between us; but I knew I had to get it over with. My body just wasn't agreeing with reality.
    Great post
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  33. #73
    escaping anndelise's Avatar
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    (Sorry blackburry, I had hit the button while scrolling.)
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

  34. #74

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    Quote Originally Posted by blackburry View Post
    I'm an embarrassment to Se egos everywhere: because of work... I'm a loserly hypochondriac. for weeks I thought I had a swollen lymph node under my right armpit and was convinced I had some form of cancer or disease. and felt for it maybe... 15x a day. ...turns out it was just an ingrown hair from shaving with a dull razor. and it's gone now.

    I stress myself with worst-case scenario a lot.
    i'm guilty of thinking similar things

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryene Astraelis View Post
    I don't see duality happening for me. I haven't identified any LIEs close to me, so this could just be me generalizing too much, but I think someone with PoLR would be the very last thing I need. With my medical conditions, I have to listen to my body and not over-tax it. I also get down on myself very easily because I expect that my body should be performing to a certain standard, and I often forget that this is no longer a realistic expectation. Should I ever attempt a relationship, I need someone who understands that and who reminds me that it's OK to take that kind of time-out or to not expect too much from myself.
    Ryene, this guy is your dual:

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    Quote Originally Posted by Iris View Post
    From reading this post and other health related posts of yours in the delta forum, you seem Si-valuing to me.
    fucc no!

    more like "weak-Si"

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    duality is the real deal! duality or bust!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kenneth Chesney View Post
    fucc no!

    more like "weak-Si"
    Would you call it weak and unvalued? Or weak and valued? @Ryene Astraelis hope you don't mind this discussion or if you care to add to it. Don't want to offend. Hope you are feeling ok.
    You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek.
    But first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril.
    You shall see things, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... cow... on the roof of a cotton house. And, oh, so many startlements.
    I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the ob-stacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward.
    Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation
    .


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pukq_XJmM-k

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    Quote Originally Posted by Iris View Post
    Would you call it weak and unvalued? Or weak and valued? @Ryene Astraelis hope you don't mind this discussion or if you care to add to it. Don't want to offend. Hope you are feeling ok.
    I think the better question is whether "concern for one's health" necessarily indicates Si-valuing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lobo View Post
    Hmmm. I never really associate ISTp at least with doing random things like that, except for one friend who makes it a point to be like this, or even like playing board games. I would think that what's attractive to Ne types is they have this attitude of being up for just about anything you invited them to do (but you just have to ask even if they seem like they don't want to go). Happened to me today actually , but I have experience in the matter. They're like the reliable people for when you are organizing a group outing, because they won't cancel at the last minute if they say they'll go. Sometimes don't talk much, maybe giving the impression of disinterest, but they're just being comfortable. But I really have a hard time imagining a very outgoing and "whoa let's do this now!" SLI, though I've met one before. At their most comfortable, I bet that they are just fine with staying home and not doing crazy, random things, they might just not admit it because then they'll get into the "unsociable" status by people, or be criticized for simply not feeling like going out.
    I think it's more how they react to Ne. A bit begrudging at first, but it's not hard to get them to join in with excitement and enthusiasm once you set the ball rolling.

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