Quote Originally Posted by tereg View Post
The other thing I wanted to mention was something very critical that happens in our minds in that moment when we are asked or we are being challenged. It is in that moment that I think is the analog to what JuJu said "When you're around them you'll probably want to say as little as possible and hope to leave as quickly as possible." It's in that moment that we don't want to screw up or say the wrong thing or whatever. It's a penetrating, tense influx of thoughts, possibilities and decision trees in which we feel as though we need to answer correctly and we need to do it in a satisfactory time frame (very quickly), and there's this preventative mode where we are trying to avoid the negative possibilities and because those negative possibilities are always nearby, we are trying to remove ourselves from that moment as quickly as possible to avoid even reaching something we don't want to be in. Now, I purposefully left out those situations in which the body language of the person shows a disdain or basic disgust or mockery about what they are being asked to do. Let's explore that. I think that this sort of response is not limited to Deltas, and not entirely type related, would you agree? I think, however, that this particular response that would typically come from the Delta quadra is one in which the responder's focus is on their measure of the group's activity rather than on how to respond to the question that has been posed. It's an important distinction. If the responder's focus is only on the merits of the activity then they are not thinking about how they are going to come across, they are not going to mince words and they are not going to hide their true sentiment or bias about their feeling about the activity. Their priority is on their standard of ethics. And I'm talking about cases in which the activity does not want to be done by the responder. And to that, I can see where you're coming from if I were in the group's position and I saw someone come by with a "You're asking me if I want to do this? You're crazy right? Not in a million years would I be caught dead doing what you're doing." kind of look, then I would feel extremely judged and extremely sensitive to what I was doing. It's an exposing feeling. It's disarming. I can understand that sentiment. I think if the responder chooses to answer the question and focuses on how to answer the question in a respectable way, regardless if they agree with what the group is doing, they can answer the question in a way that attempts to be respectful of the question and of the people asking it. I see these two situations as two different aspects of , on one hand you have a person who is focusing on their standard of ethics, their judgment of their set of standards which will not be compromised. On the other hand you have an aspect of that is more empathetic. It is attempting to figure out based on the response how the answer will be received. In one the response and the attitude toward the activity is fixed and has already been determined before they respond. In the other, the response has not been determined, but the responder's attitude might have an initial reaction. It's easy to dump this all on and just blame that as the problem, but you have to consider that there are other aspects that use the same information element that can actually be used to turn a situation like that into something that can be acceptable.
Wow. Great, lucid writting. A real privilage reading this. Thank-You.