Results 1 to 40 of 63

Thread: Betas and thoughts about death

Hybrid View

  1. #1
    redbaron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    9,315
    Mentioned
    17 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Betas and thoughts about death

    fellow betas, do you feel like you think about death more than other people? I definitely do. I think about death all the time. Even though it's not like I'm horribly depressed or anything. Nor do I worry about death, I just think about it, like as a part of life. I'm kind of fascinated by it. Is this a beta thing or a 4 thing, or what? I've always been drawn to cemeteries. When my twins were born we were living in New Haven and I used to push them in the stroller through the Yale cemetery and read the tombstones, they were super interesting--you could see like when a family was hit with illness there would be a bunch of child deaths within a short time. Some of those in that cemetery were really old for the US, like 1700s.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  2. #2
    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    TIM
    3w4 sx/so
    Posts
    24,685
    Mentioned
    95 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Heh, I think about death or dying in some form every day. I was actually just meditating and I had this vision of a brightly multicolored dinosaur eating a horse. The head and spine of the horse proceeded to crawl back up out of the T-rex's throat and flop down on the ground, where a bunch of mice scurried over to it and began crawling all over it, in and out of the eye sockets, squeaking "Daddy! Daddy!" in happy voices.

    I also have spontaneous impulses to kill people; I don't really feel like killing them, or live it out in my head, per se, but I just get this sort of impulsive "flash" of feeling, like an instantaneous mental image (but not an actual image, just a feeling that says "this is what happens next"). Like my roommate will bend over to the side while standing near me and I just feel like the situation calls for me to lop his head off with an axe.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

  3. #3
    redbaron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    9,315
    Mentioned
    17 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
    Heh, I think about death or dying in some form every day. I was actually just meditating and I had this vision of a brightly multicolored dinosaur eating a horse. The head and spine of the horse proceeded to crawl back up out of the T-rex's throat and flop down on the ground, where a bunch of mice scurried over to it and began crawling all over it, in and out of the eye sockets, squeaking "Daddy! Daddy!" in happy voices.
    wow. my son has dreams and visions like this. he's almost 8 years old. should I be concerned? haha
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  4. #4
    redbaron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    9,315
    Mentioned
    17 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
    I also have spontaneous impulses to kill people; I don't really feel like killing them, or live it out in my head, per se, but I just get this sort of impulsive "flash" of feeling, like an instantaneous mental image (but not an actual image, just a feeling that says "this is what happens next"). Like my roommate will bend over to the side while standing near me and I just feel like the situation calls for me to lop his head off with an axe.
    I can't believe I'm admitting this on a public forum... but when I was little, probably 7 or 8 I had a vision of these little baby chicks running around my bedroom and I had this strong desire to suffocate them one by one.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  5. #5
    Creepy-male

    Default

    Totally unrelated, but I like cemeteries because they're peaceful, pretty, and quite.

    Sort of like someone I know

  6. #6
    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    TIM
    3w4 sx/so
    Posts
    24,685
    Mentioned
    95 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I can't believe I'm admitting this on a public forum... but when I was little, probably 7 or 8 I had a vision of these little baby chicks running around my bedroom and I had this strong desire to suffocate them one by one.
    Welcome to the real of being human and having repressed aggression that, in a world where our bodies were used for the purposes they are biologically designed to fulfill, you would probably be forced to vent on other living things to survive.

    Now we have grocery stores
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

  7. #7
    redbaron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    9,315
    Mentioned
    17 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by krae View Post
    :wink:


    They are related anyway
    yeah yeah...
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  8. #8
    231000139298142655's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    30
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I don't know if it's a beta thing but I definitely think about death more often than normal people... Not always in a bad way, it's more of what happens when we die. Or if we die, or what dying feels like. That's just me though.
    LSI (ISTj)

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    907
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    No, I don't think about death very often. Death just is, in the same way as life is.
    INFp

    If your sea chart does not match reality, go with reality (Old mariner saying)



  10. #10
    Creepy-Pied Piper

    Default

    Removed at User Request

  11. #11
    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    TIM
    3w4 sx/so
    Posts
    24,685
    Mentioned
    95 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ephemeros View Post
    Another similar impulse I felt (and friends, too) was to jump off a height. The same, it was very strong and completely without a reason. I feel they are related, did you feel this, too?
    YES I so relate to this. Whenever I am near a cliff or any kind of sheer drop, all I can think of is jumping off of it, what it would be like to fall through the air, last seconds of life as I accelerated towards the ground...

    Do you know your Enneagram type Ephemeros? I wouldn't be surprised if you were 7w8 sx/sp; I think this could be related to sx variant.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

  12. #12
    Creepy-Pied Piper

    Default

    Removed at User Request

  13. #13
    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    TIM
    3w4 sx/so
    Posts
    24,685
    Mentioned
    95 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I don't really visualize anything, per se; more I get this flash of what it would be like to be in my brain during the fall: the feeling of the endorphins and dopamine rushing to my brain, thinking forward to the impact, the sheer thrill. This is what compels me to jump.

    If you want good, really thorough and in-depth E-type descriptions, I would recommend the following sites:

    the enneagram ...info from the underground

    Expanded Descriptions of the Enneagram Types

    The first one has more a variety of descriptions, including the different compounds of instincts, and is written more in the style of personal testimonials, whereas the second has more information on levels of health, integration and disintegration, and is a tad more formal-sounding.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

  14. #14
    the Omniscient Nexus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    TIM
    INTp
    Posts
    1,407
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tuturututu View Post
    IEE acquaintance of mine.
    what is tov meod, tutu?

  15. #15
    Trevor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,840
    Mentioned
    10 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Huitzilopochtli View Post
    what is tov meod, tutu?
    You should know that. It's "Very Good".

  16. #16
    the Omniscient Nexus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    TIM
    INTp
    Posts
    1,407
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tuturututu View Post
    You should know that. It's "Very Good".
    no, what is very good?

    I wake up thinking about death, wondering how I will die, what I want to accomplish before I die, if I can save anyone from dying...it helps me my focus my pent up aggression and move on from random unimportant anomalies which I would otherwise obsess about in a kind of computer loop...it also makes me want to tear apart anything that walks...go figure. In any event, I am always preparing to die, I am almost always ready to die...I have been since I could remember.

  17. #17
    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    TIM
    3w4 sx/so
    Posts
    24,685
    Mentioned
    95 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I dunno, but be prepared for him to turn out like me Same thing happened to me; I thought about death every night when I was a kid.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

  18. #18
    The Soul Happy-er JWC3's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    2,801
    Mentioned
    37 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I don't think I think about death that often... I think about violence a lot, but actual death not so much
    Easy Day

  19. #19
    Shazaam's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Lamp
    TIM
    AB-IEI-Ni
    Posts
    13,813
    Mentioned
    596 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Gilly I know what you're talking about of the flash of aggression. It's like this urge/heat/instinct boiling up inside you. There's some mental imagery associated with it but it's just like this flash thing but it operates primarily on a visceral level. It's hard to put in words. It's just that fiery natural violence of hate when you think about kicking somebody in the face or choking them, but you know the consequences of that so you don't. But still, I read somewhere that most people have actually killed other people. Either through accidents or otherwise. Isn't that interesting?

    Well if you take the military even if it's tried to made 'official' or they make up excuses for it, it's still gruesome death, and most of the guys I know in the army and such have killed other people. Plus car accidents, or just in the heat of the moment..... or a jealous lover, my sister works with case reports or homicides all the time. And well sometimes the killer just isn't caught. Yes nowadays they have DNA testing and all that other crap but it still isn't perfect. And if you calculate something *completely* in your own mind and make sure you don't get caught and you are cool and callous about it, killing another person really isn't that hard. Plus I'm pretty sure most of us remember the inhumane way we were treated by preppies in high school. The columbine killers, it's only understandable that they did that.

  20. #20
    Shazaam's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Lamp
    TIM
    AB-IEI-Ni
    Posts
    13,813
    Mentioned
    596 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    TV shows about murder makes it sound like the "bad guys" are always caught to give people a false hope and sense of security, but in real life it isn't like that.....most people get away with it. Because if you do something you know is illegal but you know you're not going to have any remorse for, the first thought in your head is how am I going to get away with this?

    I justify some cases of murder. It's silly to say it's 'always wrong.' What if somebody psychologically tortures/molests your loved one or kids or somebody you feel close to? There are already so many fucking smelly people on this planet, its already such an annoying overcrowded world that it is , even in my shithole of a suburb- that in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter if a few people die. They say 'WAAAH WELL THAT PERSON CAN DO SOMETHING REALLY GOOD FOR SOCIETY/PEOPLE.' Guess what? The best thing you could EVER do for something is to LEAVE IT THE HELL ALONE- and that's exactly what Death does. =D

  21. #21
    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    TIM
    3w4 sx/so
    Posts
    24,685
    Mentioned
    95 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves View Post
    Gilly I know what you're talking about of the flash of aggression. It's like this urge/heat/instinct boiling up inside you. There's some mental imagery associated with it but it's just like this flash thing but it operates primarily on a visceral level. It's hard to put in words. It's just that fiery natural violence of hate when you think about kicking somebody in the face or choking them, but you know the consequences of that so you don't. But still, I read somewhere that most people have actually killed other people. Either through accidents or otherwise. Isn't that interesting?
    I know what you're talking about, but that's not really what I meant.

    Well if you take the military even if it's tried to made 'official' or they make up excuses for it, it's still gruesome death, and most of the guys I know in the army and such have killed other people. Plus car accidents, or just in the heat of the moment..... or a jealous lover, my sister works with case reports or homicides all the time. And well sometimes the killer just isn't caught. Yes nowadays they have DNA testing and all that other crap but it still isn't perfect. And if you calculate something *completely* in your own mind and make sure you don't get caught and you are cool and callous about it, killing another person really isn't that hard. Plus I'm pretty sure most of us remember the inhumane way we were treated by preppies in high school. The columbine killers, it's only understandable that they did that.
    I could kill someone so easily I feel like all the people they show on forensics shows do such a bad job of cleaning up after themselves. I would be so fucking anxious, I would do EVERYTHING. I'd fucking shave my whole body before killing someone, then cover myself in plastic like the guy from The Departed, make sure I have a good alibi, and just put a bullet in the guy's head. If I had to dispose of the body, I'd get a big ass cardboard box or cooler, break the limbs, stuff the body in, fill it with quikcrete, and dump it way the fuck out at sea.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

  22. #22

    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    TIM
    Ni-IEI-N 4w3 sx/so
    Posts
    8,869
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    ftr I don't think this is quadra-related (maybe enneagram-influenced, somewhat). anyway...

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    I also have spontaneous impulses to kill people; I don't really feel like killing them, or live it out in my head, per se, but I just get this sort of impulsive "flash" of feeling, like an instantaneous mental image (but not an actual image, just a feeling that says "this is what happens next"). Like my roommate will bend over to the side while standing near me and I just feel like the situation calls for me to lop his head off with an axe.
    Yeah, same. And LOL @ the roommate example. I sometimes worry when that happens to me, especially if it's with someone I care about. Maybe the murderous desire is just a distortion of my undying love

    But like, in some public area, these 'impulses' will hit me rapidly -- sometimes to the point where I just tune everything out. But this is partly cause people are disgusting and should probably be exterminated.

    Welcome to the real of being human and having repressed aggression that, in a world where our bodies were used for the purposes they are biologically designed to fulfill, you would probably be forced to vent on other living things to survive.

    Now we have grocery stores
    lmao exactly... how I would love to light some Giant up

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
    I could kill someone so easily I feel like all the people they show on forensics shows do such a bad job of cleaning up after themselves. I would be so fucking anxious, I would do EVERYTHING. I'd fucking shave my whole body before killing someone, then cover myself in plastic like the guy from The Departed, make sure I have a good alibi, and just put a bullet in the guy's head. If I had to dispose of the body, I'd get a big ass cardboard box or cooler, break the limbs, stuff the body in, fill it with quikcrete, and dump it way the fuck out at sea.
    4w3-5w6-8w7

  23. #23
    redbaron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    9,315
    Mentioned
    17 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    how did my thread on thinking about death turn to murder and violence?
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  24. #24
    Poster Nutbag The Exception's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    my own personal bubble
    TIM
    LII-Ne
    Posts
    4,097
    Mentioned
    103 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by krae View Post
    First, be smart from the very beginning. Pulverize all teeth, burn off fingerprints, and disfigure the face. Forcing a DNA test to establish identity (if it ever comes to that) might introduce the legal/forensic hurdle that saves your ass down the line. An unidentifiable body can, in a pinch, be dressed in thrift store clothes and dropped in a bad part of town where the police are less likely to question it. I don't reommend that disposal method, I'm just saying an easily identifiable body is an even bigger threat than the opposite.

    Assuming you have it inside a house where you can work on it a bit, the first thing you want to do is drain it of fluids. This will make it easier to cut up, and slow decomposition a little bit. The best way to do this quick and dirty is to perforate the body with a pointed knife, and then perform CPR on it. Cut the fronts of the thighs deep, diagonally, to slit the femoral arteries. Then pump the chest. The valves in the heart will still work when dead, and the springback of the ribcage can put apply a fair amount of suction to the artria. Do this in a tub. Plug the drain, and mingle lots of bleach with the bodily fluids before unplugging the drain to empty the tub. This should help control the stench of death, which would otherwise reek from your gutter gratings. Do everything you can to control odors. Plug in an ionizer, burn candles, leave bowls of baking soda everywhere. Ventilate the room in the middle of the night, but otherwise keep it closed. Keep the body under a plastic sheet while it's in the tub.

    If you want to bury, I recommend seperating the body into several parts, and burying them seperately. For one thing, it's easier to dig a deep enough hole for a head than for an entire body. this reduces your chances of being discovered while you are actually outside and digging the grave. That is the one thing you can't do inside the doors of your house, and represents a vulnerable moment you want to keep brief, under 2 hours. Do it between 3 and 5 am. It's also less likely for someone to call the police if their dog digs up some chunk of meat, than if they dig up an enitre body. They may assume it's an animal carcass disfigured by decomposition, and leave it alone or dispose of it. It's also more likely that the dog will consume all of it before anyone knows the difference. A whole skeleton is another story. You can cut a body into 6 pieces faster than you think. It's not much different than boning a chicken, but it takes more work, a big knife, and time. A hammer will be useful for pulverizing joints or driving the knife deep where it doesn't want to go. Anyway it's wise to crush as much of the skeleton as you can along the way. It will aid in making the body less identifiable for what it is as it decomposes.
    Don't return to the same site 6 times for 6 burials.You'll attract suspicion from anyone nearby, and you'll wind up placing the body parts close enough together to be found by any serious investigation. Put them in plastic bags with lots of bleach, and store in a freezer until you have enough time to bury them all.
    Depending on what tools you have available, you may find that you're get really good at deconstructing the body. You might prefer to slowly sprinkle it down a drain without leaving your house. This avoids the long-term risk of discovery associated with burial, and the overwhelming supply of bacteria in a sewer accellerates deconomposition, whil e providing a convenient cover smell.

    Truly grinding down a body takes a lot more work, and you run the risk of fouling your plumbing and calling in a plumber. So don't try it unless you know how to clear bones and meat out of a drainpipe. A good food processor can be useful. But don't over-use it, or power drills or saws. They're noisy and they attract attention. And forget the kitchen sink. It's better if you actually remove one of the toilets in your house from its base, which will give you direct access to one of the largest sewer pipes that enters your house. Follow any disposals with lots of bleach and then run the water for 5 or 10 minutes on top of that. And plug that pipe when you're not using it, to prevent any sewer gasses from backing up into your house. Usually, a U-trap inside the toilet does that for you.

    The best method is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit.
    They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 90kg in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume 2kg of uncooked flesh every minute. That's 2kg/uf/m.
    Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

    How do you know so much about all this?
    LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP



  25. #25
    Kim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    TIM
    IEE e7 783 sx so
    Posts
    7,007
    Mentioned
    415 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    He kills gypsies...
    “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
    ― Anais Nin

  26. #26
    pluie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    TIM
    IEI 4 sx
    Posts
    300
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by warrior-librarian View Post
    How do you know so much about all this?
    el oh el
    "If you can find out little melodies for yourself on the piano it is all very well. But if they come of themselves when you are not at the piano, then you have still greater reason to rejoice; for then the inner sense of music is astir in you. The fingers must make what the head wills, not vice versa."- Robert Schumann

  27. #27
    Banned
    Join Date
    May 2005
    TIM
    D-LSI-Ti 1w9 sp/sx
    Posts
    11,529
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Betas don't die. They merely retire to Siberian leisure camps after converting to socialism.

  28. #28
    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    TIM
    3w4 sx/so
    Posts
    24,685
    Mentioned
    95 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    ok that was funny.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

  29. #29

    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Florida
    TIM
    ILE 8w9
    Posts
    3,265
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Yes, I think about both violence and death quite a bit. I'll consider myself lucky if I live past 35 years old.

  30. #30
    redbaron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    9,315
    Mentioned
    17 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jimbean View Post
    Yes, I think about both violence and death quite a bit. I'll consider myself lucky if I live past 35 years old.
    I used to be convinced I wouldn't live past 30 because that was the year 2000 and it just seemed way too far away. I'm 38 now, so I guess that makes me lucky.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  31. #31

    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Florida
    TIM
    ILE 8w9
    Posts
    3,265
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I used to be convinced I wouldn't live past 30 because that was the year 2000 and it just seemed way too far away. I'm 38 now, so I guess that makes me lucky.
    Thanks for the encouragement!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •