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Thread: Are ILIs good judges of character?

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    Default Are ILIs good judges of character?

    I'm curious about what ILIs and people who know them have to say about this... do you think ILIs are good judges of others' character? And why?

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    Quote Originally Posted by songofsappho View Post
    I'm curious about what ILIs and people who know them have to say about this... do you think ILIs are good judges of others' character? And why?
    Not immidiately, but after longer exposure probably lot better than average. What's different to most people, is that I don't get fooled by the Fe-BS. Also I'm more realistic. I pay more attention to how people treat people in general in long term and their actions, than what they say and what they try to potray, when I judge their character.

    Yet, I still had a SeTi bestfriend, who was a total asshole in general, just wasn't towards me. So in some cases it might seem that I'm not good judge of character. But then again, I was a kid then.
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    I think that Ni+ Fi hidden agenda gives them a good read of an overall good understanding of a person, I think they will stick with a sense of devotion to somebody once they form a good judgment of them, until if the person has done a blunder that mess up their character in the ILI's eyes. They will never see morality/a sense of good based on just the surface. Like for example of what warlord said, He has an SeTi best friend whose usually an ass to people, with a big Fi Polr, but an ILI might see it past that, and that maybe behind the Aggressive nature lie someone who wants to connect with him. Which makes thing ever more special.

    edit: this post reminds me of a person who, believe it or not sounds unbelievable like aixelsyd, and when I saw her picture I was like wow, Visual identification does relate to Socionics (just hate the way description explains it and when people misused them), both of them I can pretty confidently say they are the same socionic type, enneagram type and the same instinct. any how there is also an ESTj and all three of us have used to work together in the past, but me and the ESTj's gotten transfer out of the ILI's store, which the ESTj last seen her for a year and a half. While we were working together the ESTj naturally gotten closer to a lot of people (whose mostly alpha SF) which forgotten her birthday. The ILI, out of the blue text her and told her "happy birthday", The ESTj was really surprised by the fact that she actually remembers instead of her other closer friends. I think when ILI's is at its mode, these things might come out surprisingly, and even when the ILI might have not gotten surfacely close to the ESTj as others have, beneath it they might have long felt feeling which at odd times, at least ESTj might be more prone to not expect to come out like that.
    Last edited by 07490; 07-16-2009 at 10:37 AM.
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    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    I'm usually surprised by other's judgment of character, as they come off to critical of that person and focus on the problems, where I tend to see mainly the good in that person. I don't understand when people make jokes about others behind their back. I also don't understand why people don't get along. I find that there are easy solutions to these matters, and a lot of people just don't want them to be what I would call "solved." They would much rather separate themselves, not necessarily forming an alliance. I could say that I am likely too fair of a person in contrast to others, as others seem to stick firmly to their beliefs, and defend against any who threaten them. However I also know people more fair than me in this regard, and I simply feel like I don't deserve their kindness. Therefore there could be some right in these unfair people that just needs to get through to them, as for now they are repressing the right in order to protect their ego.

    Quote Originally Posted by 07490 View Post
    I think that Ni+ Fi hidden agenda gives them a good read of an overall good understanding of a person, I think they will stick with a sense of devotion to somebody once they form a good judgment of them, until if the person has done a blunder that mess up their character in the ILI's eyes.
    I'm also inclined to take positive judgments from others, say before getting to know the person being judged, and attribute some truth to it, sort of an idealist tendency. Much of the time however, the person was right and simply sent me off into a direction to which I could see the good character of the person, and saved me some energy in trying to find that for myself. There are some times (and I stress only some times), upon speaking of objective judgment like sociotyping people, that this seems to fail, such as person A types someone, and person B, C and D can see reason in the typing and go along with it, simply making no observations for themselves. By accepting that reason, one associates intelligence with person A. This is a simple analogy for character judgment gone wrong, even though the analogy has more to do with judgment of character in an intellectual sense, and as you can see my judgment of their character has to do with their judgment of someone's words: if they make sense, or if they're actually true, makes a big difference.

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    Quote Originally Posted by aixelsyd View Post
    I do it myself, after all, sometimes.
    I can act like a passive jerk, a tendency to disregard someones meaningful comments and leave their premise, if I basically dislike the person I'm dealing with. I have a feeling that I do this more than I know.

    Also what I said above (click here: http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...tml#post541073) about having a 'simple solution' seems like a lack of Fi, yet that is not what I mean to portray. I was referencing what I like to call quite stupid issues, and it's either the people can get along or they can't and should stop clashing. It's the feel of, don't you have something better to do? you're wasting time. They aren't trying to resolve the issue of them not getting along, they are trying to resolve the issue of them being right, which they assume they'll get along afterward.

  6. #6
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    Thanks for the answers!

    I have noticed that ILIs are excellent judges of others' character. It's probably like numbers said: strong Ni + Fi-HA has a lot to do w it.

    For my ILI guy friend, it's not even that he's just a good judge of character; he's also a great judge of compatibility bt himself and others, which is pretty cool. He married a woman he met in a crazy situation [the kind of situation where, hearing how they met/got to know each other, a lot of people would [did] shake their heads and say, 'wtf? that'll never work!'] - really, even I was concerned before I met her. But she's really great. I spent the day yesterday hanging out w them, and the more I do the more sure I am she's SEE and a kick-ass person in general. So I'm concluding that when they want to be, ILIs are often very good at reading people in a multitude of ways.
    Last edited by female; 07-16-2009 at 02:52 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by songofsappho View Post
    I'm curious about what ILIs and people who know them have to say about this... do you think ILIs are good judges of others' character? And why?
    Sometimes, but not always. ILIs like to put emotional distance between themselves and others out of a fear of misreading people and being hurt emotionally. So when someone does turn out to be a douche, their suspicions, or their justifications for the emotional distance, are then confirmed.
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    Yep they're some of the best judges of character, they observe people in detail, and have powerful intuition that can see beyond the surface. Very smart at setting people up to follow a particular action.

    EDIT: Actually it's probably more true to say they have the POTENTIAL to be good judges of character. Fi as their hidden agenda likely manifests as a subconscious distrust towards people that skews their judgements.
    Last edited by ConcreteButterfly; 05-12-2014 at 03:00 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Logos View Post
    Sometimes, but not always. ILIs like to put emotional distance between themselves and others out of a fear of misreading people and being hurt emotionally. So when someone does turn out to be a douche, their suspicions, or their justifications for the emotional distance, are then confirmed.
    *I know you don't visit the forum anymore (I think?), but*
    That seems to make more sense for Fi in someone's superego. As a superid (subconscious) element, it would be conceptually a guiding influence for social relations and not a warning; whereas the superego might involve fear and distance, an area of caution and warning (because it's an area of neglect that has to be guarded).

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    I would echo Warlord on this. My initial judgments seem to be wrong at first, but in the long term I feel like I'm usually completely on point. I think this is something I tend to help SEEs with also. Sometimes I feel like they can be blind to the characters of others and once I sort of alert them to the fact that someone is a total douche they start noticing it and take action. That's my personal experience at least.

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    Imo good at judging people's character patterns starting from their actions and what they think. Not necessarily character as a rich (and somewhat fixed) spectrum of features and nuances inherent in someone's personality and not exactly along the lines of good/evil and psychological motivations.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tackk View Post
    *I know you don't visit the forum anymore (I think?), but*
    That seems to make more sense for Fi in someone's superego. As a superid (subconscious) element, it would be conceptually a guiding influence for social relations and not a warning; whereas the superego might involve fear and distance, an area of caution and warning (because it's an area of neglect that has to be guarded).
    I visit on occasion, and I don't mind being properly corrected.
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    The ILIs I have known up close and personal were not fond of too many people and basically cautious if not straight up mistrustful. They thought I was too naive and trusting. They taught me to question people's motives more than I would normally and how to be discreet. I feel fortunate to have the benefit of knowing them. <3

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    Nah.

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    ILI's are "good" judges of character in the sense that in assuming the worst they'll usually be right somewhere along the line... That said, they're also wrong somewhere along the line. I think in general they short-sell themselves with their realisitic attitute to people... I mean, yeah, people suck, but at least some do so interestingly. Usually ILI's can give long and exhaustive lists of people's bad qualities without taking into account the redemptive qualities.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Reficulris View Post
    Usually ILI's can give long and exhaustive lists of people's bad qualities without taking into account the redemptive qualities.
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    ILIs are unwavering judges of character. Good or bad is subjective or possibly requires more context.
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    I pick up on quite a bit about people, but things go over my head admittedly. I don't always voice what I pick up on and people are surprised on little things I'm perceptive of. I need to spend enough time around a person to really get an idea what they are about. Off the bat, first impressions are hard to shake off, but some people end up surprising me. I try not to judge people too quickly, but it's human nature. There are some people who become unlikely friends, who upon first meeting them, I would not have expected that.

    Others who it seems like we hit it off great, but we drift apart because we had less in common than we initially thought. We need a little time to get an idea of a person, because kneejerk reactions aren't always gospel truth.
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    I think they can be, but sometimes some are too harsh and quick in their judgments without always being accurate. I agree with Aylen though that I've known one ILI friend at least that helped me see some things I needed to watch out for in someone and kind of confirmed some underlying feelings I had (but looked past those feelings and was giving the benefit of the doubt). It's possible many have a sharper eye in their judgments, but even the most keen of eyes are capable of error.

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    I consider myself pretty adept at sizing someone up.
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    The ILIs in my life have possessed varying degrees of good judgment about people, but in general they're good at warning me what to watch out for with someone. As others have said, they're naturally a tad mistrustful and self-protective, which makes them good at at spotting the chinks in someone's armor that could potentially screw them over.

    They're better than I am at spotting inconsistencies in someone's behavior or where actions don't line up with words, essentially separating what a person does from the emotions or feelings of the situation. Which is invaluable, because I might excuse someone's poor behavior with, "well, they're hurting so much" or "they're really trying," and the ILI gives me this stone-faced look and is like, "yeah but what they're doing is crap."

    Instincts seem to play a factor, too. Most of the ILIs I've known have been self-pres first and are a bit more in their own little world/not concerned with other people, but I've known a couple of Sx-doms who were better at being in tune with the connection between themselves and others because they were more interested in people in the first place.

    I knew an Sx/So ILI who seemed to be able to eerily read my mind. Ever just meet somebody who you felt like saw through you? I think it was a combination of his Te and laser-like Sx focus: if you were in his line of sight, he was reading your thought process like an open book. It was actually an uncomfortable experience because I felt like his Te was piercingly reading my Ti, and most people don't/can't read me like that. It must be how Fi people feel when I'm able to see how they're feeling very easily: vulnerable at best, and intrusive at worst.

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    Few are. Metaphorically, ILIs tend to view others from their castle walls and they seem to look primarily for threats so how can anyone with such a perspective have balanced views. To occupy one of the few places within the ILI's castle, that person would normally have been vetted thoroughly and reasonably accurately; now, a person who is deemed hot may get a free pass.....

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    My ILI brother is sticking it out unhappily with his second wife cuz on principle he doesn't wanna get divorced twice.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    My ILI brother is sticking it out unhappily with his second wife cuz on principle he doesn't wanna get divorced twice.
    My ILI financial advisor has been divorced at least three times. I think he's stopped trying to marry his crushes at this point. He's also living in a rented apartment.

    @ashlesha, your brother's intention makes sense from several standpoints.

    One, statistics show that with every divorce, the next divorce becomes more likely. Some people just don't learn, and others can't learn.

    Two, staying in a marriage and trying to make it work can help a person to grow and mature.*

    Three, divorces can be very costly. Let's say that you somehow have managed to accumulate $100 when you go into your first divorce. After the first divorce, you will be left with about $40. You then save like crazy and start to rebuild, and by the time of your second divorce, you have $55 going in and $20 going out. This is not a sustainable formula for a successful future.

    *

    My SLI father has been in a sexless marriage to my LSE mother since my little sister was born. My mother is now a vegetable who doesn't know him, but she does know that she doesn't like him, and every day, my father is grateful for the life he has. The guy is amazing.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 02-04-2020 at 02:20 PM.

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    They are probably the same way as ILE's can collect random laughs, LIE's showing pseudopower with money or LII's reporting how full their diaper is.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heretic 007 View Post
    They are probably the same way as ILE's can collect random laughs, LIE's showing pseudopower with money or LII's reporting how full their diaper is.
    @Heretic 007, along with this following post, you are on a roll:

    Quote Originally Posted by Heretic 007 View Post
    defy the odds and come out unharmed - dat is the Ne for ya.
    be calm and watch as the shackles of reality are dropping down - dat is the Si for ya.

    be the king of a moment and find yourself in the slammer - dat is the Se for ya
    bend down and find out new penetrating courage entering you - dat is the Ni for ya
    You should do every type and every function. These are great.

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