And sx-first gives you crazy people like Gul
Actually, /threadjack. I like Nick's way of looking at sx, but I want to add that I don't think the radar pings are necessarily conscious.
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He's referring to the momentary 'feelings' of attraction/repulsion that occur with sx-primaries (see my previous description). I agree that they're not all conscious -- that would be overwhelming -- but I still think the significant ones are, or at least the ones a person cares to focus on. I feel like I always know which are relevant for me, and act on them accordingly.
4w3-5w6-8w7
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Well, it's like, whatever you happen to focus your energy on will naturally cause a reaction, to varying degrees. So, it is like a radar scanning, in that sense: the drive is to find the most powerful "ping," and the scanning is constantly occurring, to gauge various stimuli for their respective relevance ('charge').
4w3-5w6-8w7
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yes I do think this happens.
I would prefer someone who is so/sx or sx/so. The sp would turn me off a bit.
The end is nigh
I think either case is plausible. For example, I've always gotten along extremely well with christy_b (who is Ne-INFj), and it was clear that the "common ground" with us was being sx 4s. Now, this isn't the only case of that; there are gammas I have communicated well with in this regard, etc. And yes, even if the two people are duals, an instinctual incompatibility will affect things. The respective drives will grate on the individuals over time. Instincts feel more fundamentally experiential, so the way you'll relate to people in that regard has more to do with your native disposition towards things. Socionics is just about clarity of information communication... so yeah.
4w3-5w6-8w7
At least, externally, do sx tend to just sort of pop up out of nowhere *really close* to you?
Brill did this, and an ILE from school too (and he's the hyper-focused, not very sociable type too).
EDIT
Brilliand is no longer sx-first, lol. Never mind.
The question still stands, though.
It makes sense to me that it would be a factor. I don't know that all three stackings need to be aligned necessarily. I sort of think that for someone like me who is so-last, I would benefit (and have indeed benefited) from being with someone who is so-second. My husband is good at pulling me off the couch and getting me a bit more involved. Which is good for me. But I do think that for the primary stacking, it's better to be alike and that stackings can have an affect either way. (making positive socionics relations worse or worse ones better)
IEI-Fe 4w3
My intimate/interpersonal relationships are pretty much everything in my life. As long as I have that I am perfectly happy with whatever happens.Intimate relationships never have played a pivotal role in my life. I tend to think the whole marriage thing is overrated.
With sx-lasts, I would say if it's hard to get to that point of deep connection and they are clearly awkward with that, and don't get past guardedness. With sp firsts not showing intense emotions outwardly. Not very good at conversation when it goes into the getting-to-know-you stuff, especially with sp/so. With so/sp, there may be a group orientedness but a pushing away when trying to get to that deeper level.
I actually am an sx last... There was one sx-dom who described sx last in an sp/so sno matter how many times you talk to an sp/so, the feeling of distance never leaves. I personally wasn't entirely conscious of this until it was pointed out, and it may appear that way to an extreme sx-dom. It's hard for us sx-blinds to know what's missing from us variant wise unless someone with an opposite blindspot, or is extreme in our blindspot points it.
xII se PoLR, 9w1-5w4-2w3 sp/so
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yea if someone feels like they have no "sex appeal" to them they're usually sx last. its pretty basic. unfortunately everyone's confused about the sexual instinct because of certain enneagram teachers who have tried to remake the sx instinct to "intimacy instinct"
Lack of hoes
Sx last trait: I spend a lot of time thinking about whether it’s socially or relationally appropriate to reach out/send feelers or approach someone that I like instead of just doing it. I have all of these rules in my head that are routinely broken by Sx types who can just follow their whims and vibe with whoever they want as long as they're receptive
Last edited by Averroes; 10-02-2022 at 12:00 AM.
Chronic "grass is always greener" syndrome
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