Stories of Dual Couples and Duality Relations

[wasp]

i still don't know what exactly "dualization" entails but i've known of several duality pairs (platonic and romantic)

it's not a mystical melding of identities. to me it just looks like two very different people whose personalities work surprisingly well together, seemingly against all odds, they're polar opposites on the surface but when you catch them together it's like two peas in a pod. uncanny synchronization. they glare at each other for a split second before they burst out laughing. they're glued at the hip and it's enough to provoke pangs of jealousy in their actual partners. i think there was one IEI-SLE (no rape) platonic pair, several SEI-ILE couples, and one SLI-IEE couple-that's-not-really-a-couple. it's good stuff.

[Olimpia]

i still don't know what exactly "dualization" entails but i've known of several duality pairs (platonic and romantic)

it's not a mystical melding of identities. to me it just looks like two very different people whose personalities work surprisingly well together, seemingly against all odds, they're polar opposites on the surface but when you catch them together it's like two peas in a pod. uncanny synchronization. they glare at each other for a split second before they burst out laughing. they're glued at the hip and it's enough to provoke pangs of jealousy in their actual partners. i think there was one IEI-SLE (no rape) platonic pair, several SEI-ILE couples, and one SLI-IEE couple-that's-not-really-a-couple. it's good stuff.

Yes exactly, the mystery is mostly in the mind of everyone else:

"How can two people who are so different from each other, get along and understand each other so well?"

Duality in a nutshell.

[wasp]

Yes exactly, the mystery is mostly in the mind of everyone else:

"How can two people who are so different from each other, get along and understand each other so well?"

Duality in a nutshell.

yeah!!! lemme get a pocketful o dat IEE

[Olimpia]

Yes exactly, the mystery is mostly in the mind of everyone else:

"How can two people who are so different from each other, get along and understand each other so well?"

Duality in a nutshell.

On that note, with the Dual couples I have known and seen, a lot of people would think that they aren't supposed to be together, because of their differences.
Especially with smart ILI women + SEE men, some people would say that the ILI "deserved better" (aka someone more stereotypically NT-intelligent like herself).

Even I fell into that trap before. Before I knew about Socionics, I was video chatting with an ILI woman sometimes, and her SEE husband would be loud in the background, and she didn't mind that at all even though she was so quiet and logical, she'd even smile to herself! And I thought "They are so different, how could they possibly get along?" I thought that their relationship was odd, and I was perplexed at how well they were getting along even though they were so different.

Another funny anecdote she'd tell is how she and the SEE got together. I forgot some of the details, but their relationship progressed very smoothly. When she began stacking books into the shelves, it dawned on her she had actually moved in with him, haha. It had "just happened like that". And on a similar note, they decided to get married. They talked about getting married casually, and eventually the SEE proposed to her at an aquarium (because of their personal history; I think their first date might have been at the aquarium, something like that). It was low-key, he didn't make a huge scene, but people might still have noticed. All in all, cute story.

[Tallmo]

I know of two dual couples (ILE+SEI) who recently divorced. In both cases it was a harmonizer+normalizer couple. Thats not optimal. Subtype matters alot.

It can be hard to keep the intimacy in those cases i think. Not in the beginning but long term.

[Rebelondeck]

.......... And I thought "They are so different, how could they possibly get along?" I thought that their relationship was odd, and I was perplexed at how well they were getting along even though they were so different..........

One of the keys of duality is that one partner is naturally uncomfortable treading in the others pasture - because of this difference. Though sharing, trust, mutual support and common goals are important, being able to maintain ones individuality and both knowing that they contribute uniquely to the relationship are also very important. I've seen too many relationships where one partner thinks there's a better way for the other to fulfill his or her role; a common source of fracture is expecting that ones partner will change given the right guidance.

a.k.a. I/O

[HotSauce]

In a SEE/ILI marriage...basically, we value the same things in life. What is important to me, is important to him. The things I can't do on my own, he is great at. The areas he struggles in, I am great at. The blind spots and personality shortcomings we both have don't mean anything to each other. If he makes a mistake, it's a mistake I can see myself doing too, so there's never anger over it. We have complete honesty, I can tell him anything, he's not offended. He doesn't always know what to say or do, and I think it's cute. When we talk about important things though, he knows which parts of the conversation he needs to respond to or help with. When he talks, I know which questions to ask to get him to keep talking and express himself. I can be a little demanding at times, he responds to it very well and loves me more. He knows when something is bothering me just from my tone or body language and asks me about it. His displays of loyalty speak to my need of signs of loyalty. We joke a lot, poke fun at each other, talk about things we want to do, and learn about life from our experiences. He philosophizes, I poke holes in it from a realistic standpoint and we both discover something we hadn't considered. We accomplish a lot together. He's the organizer and scheduler and very capable. I'm the push to get those long term plans in motion.

[HotSauce]

Not to make it all glitter and rainbows...it took two years for this level of comfort and closeness to happen between us. Mainly because I was holding back, as I am used to being told that I was too forward, too direct, too wild