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    Default Stories of Dual Couples and Duality Relations

    I was wondering how many dual couples everyone personally knew. I currently know four.

    I know an Enfp+Istp (myself and my lover), two Estp+Infp couples, and an Enfj+Istj

    Any stories of how they go together as well?
    Peggacorn
    ENFP

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    At least 10, 4 ENTj+ISFj, 2 ENFp+ISTp, 2 ENFj+ISTj, 1 ENTp+ISFp, 2 ESTp+INFp...actually probably more than 10
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    When I first start Learning socionics, I thought the common people whould not know what they really want in their partner in a socionic level. Which we all here know that dual partner is what we seek, and that we get hook up with types that seemingly feel attractive in first glance but either long term and short term it will inevitably not piece the puzzle together. well at times in my work place where at a busy day I might interact with 300 customers in a shift, on a slow day I actually have time to talk to them give them small talk and believe it or not I introduce socionics to them as well. I have seen a pattern of how they each type handle themselves when they talk to me, and there is always a patnern, a mannerism and the way they approach me that I can instinctly pick up what their types are, that in itself is much more reliable that just a plain V.I picture. Not that my Socionic skill is super or anything but that I have just interacted with so much people that this comes instant to me, and to answer the question it surprises me how much people are with their duals. I often ask them how long they have been going out and they always tell me that it's about 5-7 years. some of the very common duality I have seem, ESFp-INTp, ESTj-INFj, ENFj-ISTj, for some reason I don't see Alpha Duals together very common.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    Off the top of my head - -

    - my brother (ILE) and his wife (SEI): married for many years, not one fight that I ever heard of
    - an university mate (EII) and his wife (LSE): married since around 2000
    - the daughter of a friend of mine - she's IEI, and her boyfriend is SLE, together for a couple of years
    - a couple from my old PhD department, ILI f + SEE m - no idea what they are doing now, but they did get married
    - an old friend from my undergraduate studies (SEE): after being married to an LSE for 10 years, she later left him and she's now with an ILI

    These are examples of couples I got to know personally. I think I knew an SLI m - IEE f couple, but I'm far more certain of his type than of hers.

    If we include mirror and activation couples, the list grows considerably.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Quote Originally Posted by 3RainbowSprinkles View Post
    how many dual couples everyone personally knew
    Off the top of my head: I know like 3 ENFp/ISTp couples, they seem to get along very well.
    Greetings, ragnar
    ILI knowledge-seeker

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    2 ILE-SEI

    1 LSE-EII

    1 LII-ESE - Interesting story, this one. My best friend when I lived in SK was an LII and she met this guy on the internet, ended up in an internet relationship (which was weird because this was the friend who is all "Boys are yucky"). I was a little concerned about all of this because I didn't get a chance to give him the BF stamp of approval, she was 18 and he was 22, and they intended to f off to Japan afterwards to teach English. I ended up meeting him at their wedding a couple years ago (woah, the've been married two year o.O) and he turned out to be a fucking awesome ESE. lolz were had.
    ILE
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    Very busy with work. Only kind of around.

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    ISFp guy, ENTp girl
    ISTj girl, ENFj guy
    though not romantic, I know two ENFj girls who have ISTj best friends.
    ENFp girl, ISTp guy (but they broke up But he was a jerk.

    It's sorta sad I haven't seen more duals though...or maybe I wasn't paying attention.

    Activity, semi-dual and mirror seem common though.
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    Activity, semi-dual and mirror seem common though.
    Yes! very common! I also know several supervisory and benefit.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    A zillion.

    1 LII-ESE
    2 ILE-SEI
    3 EIE-LSI
    2 SLE-IEI
    3 SEE-ILI
    2 LIE-ESI
    1 EII-LSE
    0 IEE-SLI

    That's not even counting family. I know a lesser number of mirror, activity, illusionary, and semi-dual. A couple of supervisory and benefit too.
    IEE

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    let's see...

    ILI-SEE
    (2) EII-LSE
    (2) LII-ESE (one of which was my grandparents--grandpa died last year)
    (2) ILE-SEI
    (2) IEI-SLE (one of which is my brother and wife, together since they were 16, now 35)
    ESI-LIE
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    you guys know alot of pairs of duals. i have a question for you, do they seem alot happier as couples than pairs of other relations??

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    Quote Originally Posted by wilma View Post
    you guys know alot of pairs of duals. i have a question for you, do they seem alot happier as couples than pairs of other relations??
    When both partners are psychologically O.K., then definitely yes.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    When both partners are psychologically O.K., then definitely yes.
    really?how many of you guys have been in relationships with your duals??

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    Quote Originally Posted by wilma View Post
    really?how many of you guys have been in relationships with your duals??
    I have, and many of my friends do, but I can't speak for other forum members
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by wilma View Post
    you guys know alot of pairs of duals. i have a question for you, do they seem alot happier as couples than pairs of other relations??
    yes, i was surprised to.

    I know a lot of people and their types, but way less relationships, because I don't always know a person's partner. Also I know only 1 dual couple.

    your second question: yes duality is indeed the best relationship IME. It's not hard to find when you are young, though it gets more difficult when older. Since it seems that only the ugly ones are left :-)

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    but now i have another question, if so many people get with their dual without knowing socionics than what does it help to know socionics??

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    Quote Originally Posted by wilma View Post
    but now i have another question, if so many people get with their dual without knowing socionics than what does it help to know socionics??
    Avoiding your supervisor and supervisee

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    Quote Originally Posted by wilma View Post
    but now i have another question, if so many people get with their dual without knowing socionics than what does it help to know socionics??
    maybe you should ask the people how many the percentage is of dual relationships.

    Estimations are 30% I've read. But these also include people who are 60 years old and have been divorced 4 times.

    So if you want to skip the misery (indeed supervisors and conflictors) and go straight for the jackpot, a little help of socionics wouldn't be bad.

    Next to that, it's good to know that relationships are determined from the beginning, instead of believing 'you can make every relationship work if you want to' -crap.

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    Default Being married to your dual - dual couples

    .

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    Default Dual Couples

    How many dual couples/relationships do you know and how does duality manifest itself? Are the descriptions of duality relationships accurate and how were/are your experiences with them?

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    i have a friend who is an IEE and her best friend is an SLI. at first i did not understand how in the world they could be friends. my IEE friend is nice, smart, empathetic, really the best person i know. and the SLI is cynical, rude, whiny, has a "no BS attitude", and likes to steal and cheat. they've been friends for forever and really, when i'm with them, i feel like a thrid wheel. they are complete opposites, but are attached at the hip for some reason i do not know.
    i have never known an SLE for long. i've never had a SLE friend, i've known a few, but they come and go really fast

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    Quote Originally Posted by rafaeli View Post
    i have a friend who is an IEE and her best friend is an SLI. at first i did not understand how in the world they could be friends. my IEE friend is nice, smart, empathetic, really the best person i know. and the SLI is cynical, rude, whiny, has a "no BS attitude", and likes to steal and cheat. they've been friends for forever and really, when i'm with them, i feel like a thrid wheel. they are complete opposites, but are attached at the hip for some reason i do not know.
    i have never known an SLE for long. i've never had a SLE friend, i've known a few, but they come and go really fast
    I can relate to that. I think it is their cynicism that drives us IEE's crazy but at the same time when we prove their cynical attitude wrong it can be very satisfying.

    A few weeks back we were at a festival. I had taken a trip and lost our cigarettes in the grass along with the last of our weed. I said I'd go back and look for them but he said not to, that it was a ridiculous idea, me being out of my head and all.

    So I went back to look for them and found them! The power of positive thinking! I remember thinking at the time, the reason I stick around him is because I get a boost whenever I prove him wrong. It's like the ultimate challenge for the ultimate optimist.

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    -_-
    I am EIE and my bro is IEI.
    My best friend growing up was an ENFP. I cared deeply for her, but absolutely could not stand her when she was with her other friend.
    For years, we thought her friend was an ENTP. I never felt comfortable around her..and thought that I was her beneficiary. Just recently we found out she was ISTp and EVERYTHING made sense.
    All four of us went to Tahoe together and they were both so obnoxiously "exclusive" lol. They worst it had ever been, and the last time I saw them.
    They didn't even seem to notice people around them, they didn't really want to be there with us. Watching them interact in their own little world wasn't cute or admirable. It was obnoxious.
    My brother and I felt like the third...and fourth..wheels. When they left, he told me how disappointed he felt...So uncomfortable.

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    Quote Originally Posted by goggles View Post
    How many dual couples/relationships do you know
    A shitload of them. More than 20, over 30 if I count casual acquaintances.

    and how does duality manifest itself? Are the descriptions of duality relationships accurate and how were/are your experiences with them?
    The descriptions seem accurate enough, yet some of these relationships end for exogenous reasons (i.e. waning attraction, quarrels, etc.). Dual friendships seem to last indefinitely.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    The descriptions seem accurate enough, yet some of these relationships end for exogenous reasons (i.e. waning attraction, quarrels, etc.). Dual friendships seem to last indefinitely.
    Yeah I agree. This is one of the reasons that I'm sort of reconsidering that my parents might be duals (IEE/SLI). They separated (never divorced) when I was kind of young, but they've always stayed very close and hang out with each other in most of their free time.
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    Quote Originally Posted by munenori2 View Post

    Yeah I agree. This is one of the reasons that I'm sort of reconsidering that my parents might be duals (IEE/SLI). They separated (never divorced) when I was kind of young, but they've always stayed very close and hang out with each other in most of their free time.
    I really miss my SLI ex for the friendship. We were a great match for doing fun things, just not great for the daily routine of a relationship (lazy bastard!). We live very far apart and rarely have contact (unless I have a car or computer repair question ), but it would be nice to be friends like your parents. I can totally relate.
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    Quote Originally Posted by goggles View Post
    How many dual couples/relationships do you know and how does duality manifest itself? Are the descriptions of duality relationships accurate and how were/are your experiences with them?
    Maritsa has a lot of experiences with duals. If you PM her she may shed some light.

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    Has anyone ever had negative experiences with their duals? Maybe the subtypes did not match up (or whatever)?

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    I've experienced them in real life, every day, since the day I was born. I should write a book on it. LOL

    These are accurate per my experiences:

    http://socioniko.net/en/1.3.rels/dual.html
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    I've been married to a dual for nearly 10 years. It was a miracle that we married becasue the brief dating period was frought with problems and misunderstandings. The good times were really good and the bad times were really bad but I married her becasue when we would break up I could only think about what I might be giving up.

    The disagreements over time have gradually faded and after 8 years of marriage I came to the realization that I can't live without her.

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    I've had plenty of positive and negative experiences with both subtypes and so I still have no conclusion to draw as to which is better. I do agree that frienship duals tend to have less on the line and so run more smoother than romantic relationships with duals.

    For whatever reason I find with rationale subtypes they are more like activity partners but irrationale subtypes have a deeper connection but become stagnant without any activity. Anyways I'll discuss different pairs.

    My brother and his best friend are duals. He is a LSI and his friend is a EIE. Separately they can both act unbalanced but when they get together it feels like your not in the room. Obviously they've been friends for along time and share alot but even still there is a strong sense of solidarity. Even more my brother acts warmer as his EIE friend is able to draw out positive emotions. Essentially a great way for duals to really achieve duality is to get them to talk about a topic familiar to both or to perform some action they can both partake in and then it becomes really apparent. The whole harmization and two pieces fitting the whole. They are the same rationale subtype.

    Another example is my two friends. He is a ILE and she is a SEI. I can still remember them giving me love advice and both enjoy giving me tips and helping me out but they give such different advice. She dicusses more the right women for me, etc. He discusses how to the quickest way to get laid. Its funny though because they can discuss this together and there is a lot of remission in their statements. Like they both push for their own agenda but then have to relent slightly when the other makes a good point. He will admit finding a good women is necessary and she will admit having great sex is necessary as well. They are the same rationale subtype.

    Not to dismiss this but they do fight like every couple but the major difference is that unlike many other couples people regard them as good for each other. They have internal and exteral validation to be together which is unique when you really consider it. They do not need to justify to others why they are together. It has become widely accepted that they are good for each other.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zelder View Post
    I've been married to a dual for nearly 10 years. It was a miracle that we married becasue the brief dating period was frought with problems and misunderstandings. The good times were really good and the bad times were really bad but I married her becasue when we would break up I could only think about what I might be giving up.

    The disagreements over time have gradually faded and after 8 years of marriage I came to the realization that I can't live without her.
    Awwww.....this is so romantic. I love love love it.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 08-10-2011 at 06:22 AM.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by zelder View Post
    I've been married to a dual for nearly 10 years. It was a miracle that we married because the brief dating period was fraught with problems and misunderstandings. The good times were really good and the bad times were really bad but I married her because when we would break up I could only think about what I might be giving up.

    The disagreements over time have gradually faded and after 8 years of marriage I came to the realization that I can't live without her.
    I can really empathize with this--good times are blissful and bad times are tough and often disheartening. My relationship sees plenty of misunderstandings (after all, duals are basically from different worlds) but I have this overwhelming feeling "at the end of the day" as it were, that there is no one else either of us would rather be with. If we did separate, I'm sure it would not be long before we'd just miss each other so much that we'd have to reunite.
    EII/INFj

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    Quote Originally Posted by Diaphanous View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by zelder View Post
    I've been married to a dual for nearly 10 years. It was a miracle that we married because the brief dating period was fraught with problems and misunderstandings. The good times were really good and the bad times were really bad but I married her because when we would break up I could only think about what I might be giving up.

    The disagreements over time have gradually faded and after 8 years of marriage I came to the realization that I can't live without her.
    I can really empathize with this--good times are blissful and bad times are tough and often disheartening. My relationship sees plenty of misunderstandings (after all, duals are basically from different worlds) but I have this overwhelming feeling "at the end of the day" as it were, that there is no one else either of us would rather be with. If we did separate, I'm sure it would not be long before we'd just miss each other so much that we'd have to reunite.

    Yes, i totally submit to that. I am kind of seeing someone who is my dual, What can i say is a disaster up to now, i am dissapointed,he is dissapointed, honestly there is no one else i rather be with either. And frankly i'm left here thinking "how in the world is this relationship ever going to work"?

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    Default Duality

    So I'm sitting here today annoyed at my dual because he didn't do something and he phones me up out the blue and starts talking to me as if we were in mid conversation and explains why he didn't do this thing which i'm annoyed about and hadn't even mentioned to him. The explanation makes total sense and i'm back to being happy again. Weird.

    Anyone with similar experiences?


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    Yes, but they usually do something that I didn't expect them to do (well, I basically expect people to do nothing at all), but that I'd be pissed about if they didn't.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  37. #37
    IEI- UK IEI's Avatar
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    cool.... to provide more context. The reason i deemed this event to be thread worthy is the thing i expected my dual to do was totally minor and not something any reasonable person would be annoyed about. Also i hadn't heard from my dual for weeks and he called right at the point i was running the past event in my head and felt annoyed at him for it and he started explaining why he did it without me brining up my complaint.

    Spooky.

    I wont tell you what i was annoyed about but it was really petty. It was the equivalet of being annoyed with a friend for not offering you a drink when you visit them at their house but someone else offered you a drink so you are not harbouring a grudge because you were thirsty you are just annoyed because your friend didnt offer you one.

    Totally minor thing.

    Then 3 weeks later you are thinking about this again (one of those fleeting thoughts) you feel briefly annoyed and your friend who you havent spoken to for weeks calls you at that exact moment to expalin why this minor thing happened.

    Im seriously not making this up.


    Reuben: i can't tell if english isn't your first language or you're an ignorant little fucker.

  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by IEI View Post
    cool.... to provide more context. The reason i deemed this event to be thread worthy is the thing i expected my dual to do was totally minor and not something any reasonable person would be annoyed about. Also i hadn't heard from my dual for weeks and he called right at the point i was running the past event in my head and felt annoyed at him for it and he started explaining why he did it without me brining up my complaint.

    Spooky.

    I wont tell you what i was annoyed about but it was really petty. It was the equivalet of being annoyed with a friend for not offering you a drink when you visit them at their house but someone else offered you a drink so you are not harbouring a grudge because you were thirsty you are just annoyed because your friend didnt offer you one.

    Totally minor thing.

    Then 3 weeks later you are thinking about this again (one of those fleeting thoughts) you feel briefly annoyed and your friend who you havent spoken to for weeks calls you at that exact moment to expalin why this minor thing happened.

    Im seriously not making this up.
    that's pretty awesome ^_^
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  39. #39
    IEI- UK IEI's Avatar
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    Ooh i forgot about this thread. Let me add to it.

    When i got dumped (see other thread) the other day i held it together long enough for my ex to leave my house.

    Then i started crying one of those deep really painful cries when you have been really hurt. My dual appears again on the phone right at that point when i break down. Again I hadn't heard from him for ages.

    Pity he's not available lol


    Reuben: i can't tell if english isn't your first language or you're an ignorant little fucker.

  40. #40
    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IEI View Post
    So I'm sitting here today annoyed at my dual because he didn't do something and he phones me up out the blue and starts talking to me as if we were in mid conversation and explains why he didn't do this thing which i'm annoyed about and hadn't even mentioned to him. The explanation makes total sense and i'm back to being happy again. Weird.

    Anyone with similar experiences?
    Yes. Multiple.
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