Urh, what? Personality gone KABOOM

[dinki]

Does anyone ever feel insecure and then blank on things to say, or find it hard to connect with people you are compatible with?

Recently, the past year or so, I have found it hard to open up around people, it's like I feel I am fabricated or like the zest has been pulled out of me, and I don't feel free, it's 'ok' with some people, I mean I can talk to them (but it still feels forced, I feel unreal - I am not being fake, I just feel suppressed, like I can't be myself, like I have lost myself). But then I feel like *AH* , around my quadra, and I withdraw and only do things I know will lead to people accepting me, which is just asking questions and being polite and hardly any self-expression and there is no being a typical silly, playful IEI (like the old days!). It's like this with all my friends.

Do any IEIs relate to this? Or can anyone see why this is happening?

I think this post is kind of dumb, the whole thing is, I would just appreciate it if anyone could help me understand this. What is going on lol? It's like my personality is evaporating, or being pushed inside, suffocating everything haha. I'm not generally depressed or anything, though sometimes I get pretty down over this shizz.

Thanks lol

[dinki]

Thanks so much guys! I thought this might be it lol .

[Waddlesworth]

You're probably thinking about Socionics too much, and you're trying to mold your behaviors to fit the model. I'm saying this based on my own personal experience. Once you put Socionics into the backseat, interaction becomes much more natural because you're not trying to fit things into a mold and you're more likely to think of "incompatable types" as being people, not just little type robots. Along with this, you're more likely to accept behaviors that don't completely align with a specific type more once you leave Socionics behind.

When you're focusing too much on your type and how other types perceive your type, it really limits your interaction to the point where talking with others becomes something of a strategy game where you're trying to figure out the other person and act according to your type, which sucks all the energy out of communication. When I was all obsessed with Socionics, I kind of acted in a similar manner to how you did. The remedy was letting go!

PS: You said this has been happening for the past year or so. That coincides with your join date on these forums.

I agree with Herzy. There was a time when I could somewhat relate Dinki, but I find that Interactions flow a lot more naturally if you clear all the clutter out (Socionics would be a good example), because it mostly serves to jumble things up in most cases. I do find that Socionics can be a useful tool at the end of the day; it can help you to understand things when something worth noting comes up, but over thinking it usually serves to nothing productive. Life is a learning ground, so go ahead an experience things.

From my experiences, Socionics is really just clutter for most people. Creates synthetic biases, a tendency to judge people, be mistrustful, etcetera.

It is interesting to note that much of the theory states that the types that are best for one another tend to be naturally drawn to one another, anyway.

So then, what is the point of socionics?...