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Thread: How do you get along with an ESFj?

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    Shazaam's Avatar
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    Default How do you get along with an ESFj?

    Simple question. How do you get along with an esfj? Not buddy buddy romantic , but like...how can you have a good business 'tactful' relationship with an esfj and remain a good, safe distance?

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    Quote Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves View Post
    Simple question. How do you get along with an esfj? Not buddy buddy romantic , but like...how can you have a good business 'tactful' relationship with an esfj and remain a good, safe distance?
    remember that emotions are always at the forefront for esfj. so if you're in a bad mood, it's going to affect him and he's probably not going to hide his moods from you either. so being willing to roll with his moods an trying to express appreciation and positive moods with him will get you far.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Creepy-Cyclops

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    ESE's are typically good people. Most people like ESFj's. There does seem to some bad things said about them on the forum, but it's unfair and levelled by people that for instance, maybe have some adolescent issues and somehow blame it on their mum (who they usually type as ESE).

    It may be that, I think anyway, that ESE's typically provide such a secure upbringing for their children that it can at times make the children *think* they are being smothered, but the reality is they probably don't know how lucky they are to have such a loyal parent. The world is a tough place.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    It may be that, I think anyway, that ESE's typically provide such a secure upbringing for their children that it can at times make them *think* they are being smothered, but the reality is they probably don't know how lucky they are to have such a loyal parent.
    awwww, that was really sweet, Cyclops. you make a good point. ESEs do make good parents, although they can seem overbearing to certain types, it just means they care. My husband is a VERY hands-on dad. I think he's too rule-oriented at times (but thank goodness I'm here to mellow out the atmosphere, lol) but the kids do know that he's totally into his job of being a parent. He probably reads more parenting books than I do.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Mmm, the Fe critiquing redbaron described seems to happen between many ethical types. My IEE friend has gotten pretty irritated by my doing this with her and I with my sister who's EII. It's not that I feel like she's taking their side because I easily understand where she's coming from, but doing it regularly just feels rude since I only vent to her when I'm stressed out and want some empathy.
    Probably ILI, or IE I/EIE/EII. PM me if you have ideas about my type! Ennagram 2w3 7w8 1w9.

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    Creepy-Snaps

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ningyo View Post
    Mmm, the Fe critiquing redbaron described seems to happen between many ethical types. My IEE friend has gotten pretty irritated by my doing this with her and I with my sister who's EII. It's not that I feel like she's taking their side because I easily understand where she's coming from, but doing it regularly just feels rude since I only vent to her when I'm stressed out and want some empathy.
    3-year thread bump!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Snaps View Post
    3-year thread bump!
    FTW or FTF? *stabs self for being oblivious to timestamps*
    Probably ILI, or IE I/EIE/EII. PM me if you have ideas about my type! Ennagram 2w3 7w8 1w9.

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    Robot Assassin Pa3s's Avatar
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    I guess it's "for the fail".
    „Man can do what he wants but he cannot want what he wants.“
    – Arthur Schopenhauer

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pa3s View Post
    I guess it's "for the fail".
    Bingo.
    Probably ILI, or IE I/EIE/EII. PM me if you have ideas about my type! Ennagram 2w3 7w8 1w9.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    the general rule I have is KEEP IT SUPERFICIAL ...

    say thank you when they "help" you, even if it's in a way you find disrespectful ....

    NEVER try and explain that your situation is more complex than they think. ...
    Copy their behavior ...
    don't tell too much about parallell experiences ...
    keep it external, don't talk about internal stuff ...
    DON'T explain what you know ...
    talk about external feel-good-things ...
    if IEIs go deep, we just end up Ni-ing them and they hate it. ...

    For you to feel good with them, think of them as coffee mates you only gossip with. ...
    NEVER tell them something you would be pissed if they start to help you with...
    This was brilliant. Wish I had learned this in college instead of useless obsolete engineering stuff.
    Greetings, ragnar
    ILI knowledge-seeker

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