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Thread: Deltas and being "too normal/regular"

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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    *pours glass of water over mercutio's head*
    But this is very nice.
    (D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    1)
    A girl who I want to date, asks me: well first tell me how tall you are?
    My reply: well I will answer that, if you first tell me how much you weigh!

    2)
    A girl I was dating said she was oh so great at sex etc, but she didn't do blowjobs.
    My reply: Oh I'm really romantic etc, I just will never take you out to dinner.

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    I've been described by friends and family in a whole lot of different ways, but
    "normal" isn't one of them. "Zany" and/or "quirky" seems to be the prevailing view of my behavior. . . heh.
    IEE

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    I wouldnt describe ENFPs or ISTPs as giving off the normal vibe... But what is normal now a days
    {♠x<º))))><¸.·´¯`·.¸IcEPiCk¸.·´¯`·.¸><((((º>x♠ }

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    "In this world, if you're not insane.....
    then you're insane!"

    "Insane is the NEW normal."


    ****
    In my ripe old age here (37) and isolated living area, I finally fall under the category of "normal" and "boring". Only my closest friends, family, and those I live with know the truth.

    However, in my younger years, I could follow my impulses a lot more easily, and wound up sucking along those near me.

    On road trips for school jrotc competitions, I'd sneak out to roam the towns, followed by some friends and acquaintances who had experienced or heard about the kinds of 'adventures' we'd wind up with. The instructors knew I took my fellow students out at night, against the rules, but they also knew that we didn't get into major trouble and I always made sure we got back safe..and on time (before they'd get up). LoL, one of the instructors would even signal to me what my time frame was.

    I'd come up with ideas but have no plan for implementing them, playing it by ear. Thankfully a small handful of teachers were there to support me and attempt to encourage me to follow through. When I inevitably didn't finish, by then someone else had gotten caught up in the fervor and would take the project/idea over and see it through.

    In my more troubled years I did such things as throwing spitwads and paperwads at a teacher/blackboard/ceiling. Never once getting caught, but when it was discovered that the area that this mess was coming from (the area I sat in), the teacher refused to believe that I could have had anything to do with it because I was such a 'sweet innocent'.

    My friends would get frustrated because their parents were always saying things like "why can't you be more like [ann]?" But my friends new the truth, that if they were more like me, they'd wind up in even more trouble than they were!!

    When I left home I'd follow all sorts of impulses which have lead to numerous experiences...some good, some not so good. Jobs have ranged from being a nanny...to being a topless waitress...to mucking out gold mines...to being an escort...to being a door-to-door book salesperson...to being a receptionist...to managing the sorting machines at a newspaper. Interests have varied as well, usually changing every few weeks or sooner.

    When I used to go out dancing with a friend or two, I wouldn't drink, and would designate myself as the driver and 'sane' one for the night. But even though I only drank water or a soda, more often than not, people thought *I* was the drunk one. Probably due to perceiving me as having 'lost my inhibitions'. (hey, what can i say, dancing is a high for me, lol)

    I've often been accused of 'behaving inappropriately' by people who have firm ideas of how a person SHOULD behave in certain situations/places. Not that my behavior was out-of-line or anything like that, but because I didn't care what the 'proper behavior' was, and instead stayed as my spontaneous self.



    Alas, having a child changed a lot of that for me. I keep saying that my life is 'on hold', and that when she's an adult, I'll be free to be me again. This usually has manta and richard rolling their eyes. Manta because she sees me as being all over the map anyways. Richard because he thinks I'm bad enough now and half dreads, half looks forward to, me being ME.

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    Oh, and I wanted to say to Jewels...
    while I wouldn't pour something on someone...
    I do have a temper, and yes mercutio...I do through tantrums, lol.
    Usually though after the pressure has built up enough that it needs a quick release so I can reach a more normal state in terms of emotions and stress. The quick release isn't directly harmful to anyone, nor do I smash/break things. Though I often have the impulse to do that (thankfully I have no habitual patterns that feed into these particular impulses, so it's easy for me to NOT act on them).

    After the outburst, I'm usually back to being ok, though depending on the situation I may need to go for a long walk first.

    To others, these outbursts 'come out of nowhere', and are perceived as me 'over-reacting to a simple thing'. But the fact of the matter is that the stress and pressure have been building up for quite a long while and are over more than that one 'straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back' incident.

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    i'll tear down the sky Mattie's Avatar
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    I can get close to the tantrums or outbursts that have been described here, a lot of the time I imagine myself doing what I want to do in my head, and that usually allows for some catharsis and I don't actually do it. Typically these happen at random times, something will be on my mind and it won't let go of my mind, and then something will be the last straw, even if it's completely unrelated, and I'll flip in some manner. Typically work really pisses me off, and since I can't really do much there, I pretty turn silent and stone-faced and just do my job instead of talking. This usually irks my co-workers because a lot of them rely on me to keep conversations going or to joke and stuff.

  7. #47
    Twist-Tie Spider iAnnAu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    In my ripe old age here (37) and isolated living area, I finally fall under the category of "normal" and "boring". Only my closest friends, family, and those I live with know the truth.

    However, in my younger years, I could follow my impulses a lot more easily, and wound up sucking along those near me.

    ...
    haha - ann, your history sounds strangely a lot like my own.

    We oughtta collaborate on some mischievous adventures - I could chip in on your babysitting costs
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    We're all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.
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    Quote Originally Posted by IcEPiCk View Post
    I wouldnt describe ENFPs or ISTPs as giving off the normal vibe... But what is normal now a days
    yay icepick is back!
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    Jobs have ranged from being a nanny...to being a topless waitress...to mucking out gold mines...to being an escort...to being a door-to-door book salesperson...to being a receptionist...to managing the sorting machines at a newspaper. Interests have varied as well, usually changing every few weeks or sooner.
    Wow. You were a topless waitress and an escort? Those are two jobs i didn't really imagine ENFp doing but i can still see it. Amazing
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

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    iAnnAu: After seeing your videos and other posts you've written, I wish I'd known you way back when. The troubles we could have gotten into!!

    meatburger: Those two jobs each have their own story behind them, lol.

    The first one, the topless waitress, that one's the funniest of the two, imo. I was young and pretty damned naive. I was trying to go to a business college (lasted all of 2 months at that) and was living with a guy and things weren't going so well. One of the issues we had was that he wanted me to go to school, because of my potential, so he'd tell me not to get a job, to just focus on school. But then he'd start complaining about lack of money and such, and hint that I needed to get a job. So I'd get a job, which would reduce time/energy I had for him, cleaning the house, and studying. So then he'd tell me to go ahead and quit..and so the cycle continued.

    Then he started 'staying late at work'. Well, the trailer we lived in was right behind his workplace!!! Seriously, one gate separated the trailer courts and the parking area for his job (he was a mechanic at a car sales lot). If you're gonna lie...come up with something better, seriously!!!

    Anyways, so he starts hanging out with some of his skanky friends, guys who were into lots of drinking and drugs and 'partyin w/ the babes'. The leader of this pack had tried a few times to get with me, but I wouldn't. After quite a few "No Way!!"s, that was when he started inviting the guy I was with to 'hang out' after work.

    Ok, so that's the scene that was going on at home.
    We were also just entering one of those stages full of hints to get a job. And I was pretty ticked off by now. But, ok, I went to look for a job. There was one job in the paper that had hours that would work with the schooling, and it was part time, so I thought maybe I could handle both. And it was a waitress job at some bar down the road. I'd worked pool halls and dance clubs before, so I knew I had enough experience to get this job. So I called, and set up an interview.

    I arrived at the place. There weren't many windows...at all. The big sign said "All Girl Revue". As I walked to the building, I tried to figure out what that meant, but had no clue. As I was trying to figure it out, some guy was walking out of the building towards his car. He whistled long and low at me. This kinda perked me up and I quickly set the "All Girl Revue" thing out of my head and started to pump myself up for the interview. . .

    . . . I walked into the place...boy, was it DARK. There was a hallway I had to walk through before it opened up to the main room. First thing I saw was the very end of the bar. Then some guy checking IDs. He asked me why I was there. I said I was here for a job interview. He smiled friendly like and pointed me to the table to wait for the interview, squeezed my shoulder, and wished me luck. I like working with nice people..this is gonna be great!!

    I started walking towards the table, but something seemed off. You know that feeling of looking at something but not quite seeing it? It was like the back of my mind kept trying to make me look, but there was nothing to look at. And then I saw it. The stage. And women dancing up there…with hardly anything on, and one woman waggling her breasts right in some man's face. (Did I mention how naïve I was???)

    Mentally my jaw dropped…as I continued walking to the table. At this point I began functioning on autopilot due to being in shock, lol. Part of me kept myself from looking around like a dummy....no need to let on just how dumb I was that I didn't know what the hell "All Girl Revue" meant. Had to make it look like I already knew what I was getting myself into. Then I saw the waitresses serving the customers. As I said though, I was on autopilot. Somehow I made it through the interview. The lady told me to think about it for a week, to make sure that I wanted to work there, and if I did, to call her back.

    During that week, the arguments between me and the guy I was with picked up, became harsher and more volatile. And his lies were just….so out there…how stupid do you think I am?? So, with the intent to save money to move out, I called the lady back to start work there while I looked for something better. I didn’t tell the guy though that I had gotten a job.

    Funnily enough, after just a few days of working there, the guy told me that they were having a rush time and that he had to stay at work late. I had to work that night, so basically I was saved having to tell him that I was going somewhere that night.

    I bet you can guess where this part is headed….

    Sure enough, while I'm working, the boys come into the club, all rowdy and already partially drunk and/or high. Who saw me first? The 'friend' who'd been hitting on me. It took the guy I was with a while before he looked to see who the 'friend' was grinning so exclusively at. Ah, the look on the guy's face is one I savor, lol.

    Needless to say, that relationship quickly went downhill from there.



    The second one wasn't as funny, but the first night was at a new years eve party…this turned out to be the worst night of my entire life. (massive amounts of bad luck and murphy's law, that's all).

    Neither job lasted long, The first was 3 weeks, the second only a few "dates". The second one was just before my melt down….saved from myself by a meltdown, (yeah, I was pretty whacked back then, ha!)

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    I like working with nice people..this is gonna be great!!
    Hehe. I liked those stories thanks for sharing Anndelise
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    ...I planned to point out that Delta isn't normal and neither am I. But compared to anndelise, I'm Mary Poppins. Wow. I'm impressed.

    So instead of that, I'll just give you three reason why I'm usually normal.

    One: There are rules for most forms of craziness. There are certain things you must do, things you must wear, things you must say, and there's peer pressure to conform and follow the script. That makes me feel I'm being manipulated or pressured into doing something that's not me.

    Two: A lot of eccentricity is pointless. I'll do eccentric things if they have a meaning for me and if I'm inspired to do them right now. But don't much care whether I'm causing a stir or not. I'd rather not, because I can do without the fuss and botheration.

    And reason number three: I can't be bothered. If I'm feeling at ease, I'm quirky, but only if I have enough time and energy.

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    I know I am anything but normal, and that is not the first word that would come to my head when describing Delta NFs, or just the Quadra in general. Some members of the Quadra may appear calm but human beings are complicated. Being normal is a pretty relative thing anyways. Someone may try to come across as mundane, ordinary, but I believe we hide a wackier side. I hide some of my wackiness from new people.

    People who get to know me think I'm anything but normal. There are also negative and positive ways of being weird. People shouldn't be weird for the sake of it, but we all have things that make us different. It's something I do on a subconscious level, but we all have our coping mechanisms, there is a time and a place for everything. We should never change who were are for others though.

    It makes me think of the episode of Spongebob "Not Normal" where Spongebob becomes "Normal" he loses his quirks, and it's more creepy than anything. xD and he becomes friendly in a robotic way.
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    They seem normal to me, brazenly normal. They take the irony of their own behavior and twist it on you and then still reassert their normality. Weird.

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    The only Delta type I'd take the too normal accusations with are LSEs, which wouldn't be a particularly bothersome accusation for most LSE's I've known. Definitely not IEEs however, only a retard would consider IEEs too normal. It's true that we don't try and go out of our way to be weird asses like Beta NFs however.

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    https://ww.youtube.com/watch?v=z113cALjgl0

    My feelings towards Beta NFs and their pursuit of being needlessly weird as hell summarized.

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    I don’t think this is true. Well, Delta STs are very normal but to a point that it’s not normal. And Delta NFs are probably the weirdest you can get typology wise; Ne shenanigans mixed with Fi individuality. I don’t readily associate “normal” with IEE, anyways.

    I was trying to place some type as the most normal one but when I think about it they’re all weird in some way.
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    Quote Originally Posted by fresh meat View Post
    I don’t think this is true. Well, Delta STs are very normal but to a point that it’s not normal. And Delta NFs are probably the weirdest you can get typology wise; Ne shenanigans mixed with Fi individuality. I don’t readily associate “normal” with IEE, anyways.

    I was trying to place some type as the most normal one but when I think about it they’re all weird in some way.
    I remember seeing deltas called boring more than normal. I am not sure how accurate either statement is irl. My delta NF friends are neither boring or "normal," especially the IEEs. Ne is described as zany sometimes so if zany is your normal do you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon Ssmall View Post
    Hello forum people,

    I am interested if Delta's (especially ENFp's) have been accused of being too "normal".
    Only online. Never offline.

    I have heard this more than once, sometimes as a good thing, sometimes as a bad thing. I have no sharp edges, I am not a dramatic person, rarely cause fuss yada yada.
    I'm a low-drama person but I would not say that I do not have sharp edges. I'm just less demonstrative about them than others seem to be.

    My current gf joked that I'm not normal because I am too normal (well she likes it) and that normal people can't be that normal. This crossed my mind a few times, that I find no extremes in my character and in general I dislike any kind of extremes to begin with. Is Delta averse to extremes of any kind or is it more of an individual thing? I know some Deltas that have eating disorders (a few Delta NF's) or are sleeping around too much, but that's about it. I am not talking only about habits though, I'm more talking about character.
    I agree that I'm not a very extreme person. Or at least, I'm not overt about my extremes.

    I could see the "too normal to be normal" angle. There are a lot of things people do I think are weird but when I mention them I get the weird looks instead.

    I think where Delta's weirdness usually comes across is that we're all independent-minded in a disconnected and possibly free-spirited way. Even I can admit that there's a paradoxically young-mind but old-soul quality to how we focus on our inner fulfillment and self-satisfaction at the expense of a more enterprising, engaging, or glamorous lifestyle. Which influences our tendency to be thoughtlessly zen about things others see as a "big deal" and makes us seem small-minded as a result. Never mind that we also have our highly personal pet issues and projects that we can get worked up over as well.

    Regardless, every quadra has their image burdens to deal with. Being considered boring or normal is hardly bothersome.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon Ssmall View Post
    Hello forum people,

    I am interested if Delta's (especially ENFp's) have been accused of being too "normal". I have heard this more than once, sometimes as a good thing, sometimes as a bad thing. I have no sharp edges, I am not a dramatic person, rarely cause fuss yada yada. My current gf joked that I'm not normal because I am too normal (well she likes it) and that normal people can't be that normal. This crossed my mind a few times, that I find no extremes in my character and in general I dislike any kind of extremes to begin with. Is Delta averse to extremes of any kind or is it more of an individual thing? I know some Deltas that have eating disorders (a few Delta NF's) or are sleeping around too much, but that's about it. I am not talking only about habits though, I'm more talking about character.
    Nah. I'm pretty weird by some people's standards. Most of that weirdness comes from making unexpected remarks in conversations that are deemed random. The unexpected remarks happen because my brain will follow a chain of 10-20 connections inside my head after hearing something, and I'll only mention the last connection that results.

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    I've had some times in my life where I definitely acted out behavior that would be considered very "non-normal", and I pretty much enjoy being "normal" after those experiences. I guess this is the expected Delta answer though . Return to dust!

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    I've never been told i'm normal, so "too normal" would be way off. I've got my share of "i wouldn't be able to live like you" tho. Maybe it's something more personal or related to DCNH.

    @Simon Ssmall, Why bother asking yourself if you're normal though? I thought that in delta world no one would care about "normal" because that's Se or Fe terminology(at least for the social sphere), you would be accepted as long as you have some respect for other's privacy and comfort and that you "contribute your part".

    Quote Originally Posted by artless View Post
    I think where Delta's weirdness usually comes across is that we're all independent-minded in a disconnected and possibly free-spirited way. Even I can admit that there's a paradoxically young-mind but old-soul quality to how we focus on our inner fulfillment and self-satisfaction at the expense of a more enterprising, engaging, or glamorous lifestyle. Which influences our tendency to be thoughtlessly zen about things others see as a "big deal" and makes us seem small-minded as a result. Never mind that we also have our highly personal pet issues and projects that we can get worked up over as well.
    Yes! But that can come off as aloof and unengaging to other types, so not a nice type of weird I think deltas can be like that bc we like hanging out by ourselves and beeing comfortable too much.
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    Quote Originally Posted by lkdhf qkb View Post
    Why bother asking yourself if you're normal though? I thought that in delta world no one would care about "normal" because that's Se or Fe terminology(at least for the social sphere), you would be accepted as long as you have some respect for other's privacy and comfort and that you "contribute your part".
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