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Thread: ILIs-INTps what are you like in social situations and groups?

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    Default ILIs-INTps what are you like in social situations and groups?

    I was reading this http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...ituations.html, and I was just wondering what ILIs are like socially.
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    In large groups, like at a dinner with 15 people or so, I'm the most silent one of the group.

    If I say something it's usually only to my neighbours at the table.

    For the rest I'm socially quite normal I guess, nothing that would stand out. Oh yes, I don't often initiate the contact, but that's common for introverts.

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    My best friend is an ILI. As Jarno said, silent in large groups. He likes sarcasm and only gets wild when with his SEE friend in a small group.

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    Depends on the ILI, but generally speaking, they tend to be quiet both in large groups and in small ones when nothing interesting is being discussed.

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    I don't like big crowds, prefer a small circle of people I know. Depends on my mood though. Very important if we all have a common interest or not.

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    It depends on how familiar I am with the people in the group. The size of the group really doesn't matter to me, I just pay attention to the 3 or 4 people closest and ignore the rest, kind of a group within a group. If someone further away asks me a question, I’ll respond, but usually this will only last for a couple exchanges, no more. If I do want to speak to that person, I’ll get up and move.

    Unfamiliar: With unfamiliar people, I am usually pretty quiet. In group discussion, I'll occasionally interject with a point of view that hasn't yet been addressed, or I'll attempt to more adequately state a point of view that hasn't been understood. I’ll sometimes subtly guide the conversation to something I’m interested in, something I want to talk about. When my topic comes up, I’ll say something profound, something only someone else interested in the subject can speak on, and I’ll hope that someone speaks up. If they do, then I can have a real conversation. If they don’t, oh well, I’ll just start over with a new topic in mind.

    Familiar: My quietness level varies depending on the topic of discussion. If it's something that I'm not interested in, I'm mainly quiet and I'll occasionally make jokes, but I'll say nothing of real substance. If it's something I'm interested or experienced in, then the opposite is possible. I can be really talkative, and even silly. With familiar people, I don’t subtly influence the conversation, I just say something like “Let’s talk about ‘x subject.’” The subject will be something that I know the other person(s) is interested in, so no need for subtlety. Also, I make many more jokes with familiar people than I do with the unfamiliar.

    If the group is mixed with familiar and unfamiliar, my behavior is usually closer to that found in the familiar paragraph. Occasionally people think I’m an extravert, if they first met me when I’m among my friends, discussing something I’m really interested in. Overall, however, I am generally viewed as quiet. I’m often mistaken for being angry when my usual mood is neutral. Sometimes I’ll accidentally insult people, only realizing afterward that what I said was mean. For example, I once called a 6’6 guy I met “big,” and he took it as an insult, like I had called him fat, when I had really meant it as a compliment.

    I think that about covers it, in a general sort of way.

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    Default I'm pretty sure this guy is ILI: His behavior socially

    The ILI I know is social in a strange way. He's not really that personal with most people. He only approaches everyone with jokes. He sort of takes the role of class clown, and he's very popular actually. Ofcourse he could possibly be an ENTj. I had him take an MBTI test about a year ago, and he scored INTp. It seems suitable. The only sign of EJ temperament I see in him is when doesn't let people mess with his belongings-- sort of materialistic and controlling. Only controlling about that though.

    He's got pretty good social skills from what I see. Like I said-- he's very popular. He's also a DJ. He loves to make people laugh. He told me one time it's a great feeling to have everyone laugh at your joke. Gives him a feeling of powere, I think it was. This was a long time ago though, and he didn't say this directly. He said it in a joking context, but I could tell he was serious.

    I'm some beta NF, probably IEI. The two of us used to be quite close, and when we talked we'd either talk about philosophy (which I would get touchy about because of his emotionless perspective) or other people and how annoying/stupid they can be.

    He's not the typical "charming" guy, even though he's pretty technically social. He relies on his wit and humor to lure people in. Also, he relies a lot on internet communication. He quite values his independent alone time at home.

    He seems to thrive on this "status", socially, even though he doesn't really seem to genuinely care that much for people unless he's really bonded with them. But then, even if he does (which I think he does), he's not open about it regardless. Only if you really dig deep do you get hints of that shade of altruism in him.

    He's very odd, in my opinion and well... everyone else I've ever discussed him with. People love his eccentricity. It's entertaining to them, and any sort of attention seems like a privelege.

    A few people think he's an asshole, and one girl said "he doesn't have a heart". People who are close with him agree that he simply has great great trouble opening up, emotionally.

    He's got a very good sense of style, and doesn't care what anyone's opnions are on things that he likes, yet still he shares with everyone through bulletins on myspace or whatever when he gets something he feels is badass, or when he finds a video.

    He wants to be an entrepeneur, because he thinks its a great, reliable way to make money. He also already makes cash being a DJ, and takes great pride in this job of his.

    His hugs are weird, and stiff. Maybe EJ temperament? Idk.

    Anyway, I think he's ILI based on that test, and also on occasional speculation on his behavior.
    "If you can find out little melodies for yourself on the piano it is all very well. But if they come of themselves when you are not at the piano, then you have still greater reason to rejoice; for then the inner sense of music is astir in you. The fingers must make what the head wills, not vice versa."- Robert Schumann

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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    I was reading this http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...ituations.html, and I was just wondering what ILIs are like socially.
    If you're sure of 9 being your main personality type on the enneagram, I'd imagine your probably IP temperament. But if you're mainly a 1.. maybe EJ temperament? All though I think 1 is an IJ thing.

    Just some thoughts.
    "If you can find out little melodies for yourself on the piano it is all very well. But if they come of themselves when you are not at the piano, then you have still greater reason to rejoice; for then the inner sense of music is astir in you. The fingers must make what the head wills, not vice versa."- Robert Schumann

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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    I was just wondering what ILIs are like socially.
    For me, it depends strongly on the group. Among idiots I have to remember to keep my mouth shut, saying anything at all is guaranteed trouble. Not saying anything means trouble too, but less of it.

    Most people where I live are idiots.

    But socializing with people who possess some hint of a brain is often a pleasure.

    In order to meet such people, I take a 1-2 hrs international flight now and then and spend a few days in places where such people may be found. Under such circumstances, I may come across as a quite social, open and extraverted person.
    Last edited by ragnar; 05-28-2009 at 02:12 AM. Reason: correcting flight times
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    Quote Originally Posted by incognito View Post
    And probably either ISFp or INFp. An INTp E9 is less likely, and an ENTj E9 is remote to non-existent.
    I usually test 9,5,3 in that order with 1 moving all over the place. 9 and 5 get mixed up which really points to ILI. I haven't spent too much time on enneagram. I just don't know, most things point to ILI but I don't feel like it fits.

    Socially, I'm totally mixed. I'm fairly reserved unless an interesting topic comes up, but if I'm around someone I like I can get all energetic and impulsive about anything, but even with some people I'm unfamiliar with I can be this way. It's usually around the people I'm familiar with and don't relate to where I have nothing to say and end up quiet and even then if it's too quiet I feel obliged to say something and I do. I can't sit in quiet around people. I can sit and listen though.

    I used to be really shy and stubborn. Even while I was shy I had a desire to be around people, and so I've grown out of it within the last 6 years.(I just turned 19) I slowly learned to be more open and easy-going. It could be that I'm an introvert, but it could easily be that I'm a shy extrovert. I would say that mentally I'm a rational, but I often act irrational. Once I make a decision I hate changing it, but I'm often reluctant to make a final decision.
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    Usually I will say nothing and only discuss or interact with people when there's a demonstrated reason to do so. It will take someone engaging me over and over again for me to have a proper interaction with them.

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    i don't like big groups.
    i do talk when it's a topic of my interest, like occasional comments, but most of the time, i don't speak at all. this usually applies to people i am not close to.
    i usually do not talk much if i deem the people talking to be narrow minded and stupid. again this is only my opinion of them. since saying anything, or objecting to what they're saying, would be a waste of time and energy, i'd let them ramble on.

    there's one thing i really dislike, is getting my mood influenced by the group. i've realized one thing, that is, in certain groups, where the atmosphere is all fun and laughter, it makes me feel strange and uncomfortable. It makes me unsure how to behave and want to get away. don't really know how to explain it.

    i prefer a quiet atmosphere where we can all hear each other talking.

    however, i'm strangely more comfortable in a business setting. i have no problems doing a business presentation or talking to clients or other business people.
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    This is interesting because my dad is ILI and hes usually talkative in groups and noisy as well.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Typhon View Post
    This is interesting because my dad is ILI and hes usually talkative in groups and noisy as well.
    all groups or close friends?

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    all groups or close friends??
    Last edited by Mea; 06-02-2009 at 12:52 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mea View Post
    all groups or close friends??
    I wanted to know whether it was true for all kinds of groups of people, or just close friends.

    Since I find it hard to imagine that ILI's are noisy in groups of people they don't know. Although among close friends it's a different story.

    But I read your pre-edited story and I agreed with it :-)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    all groups or close friends?
    Close friends.

    I dont have much experience seeing him in large groups, so I dunno.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Typhon View Post
    Close friends.
    ah yes.

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    Depends lot on the situation, the circumstances and recent events.

    Overall I don't socialize much at all. For example I have one friend atm, and I haven't seen him in months. So I have also bit forgotten what I'm like in social situations.
    ...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.

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    Quote Originally Posted by pluie View Post
    If you're sure of 9 being your main personality type on the enneagram, I'd imagine your probably IP temperament. But if you're mainly a 1.. maybe EJ temperament? All though I think 1 is an IJ thing.

    Just some thoughts.
    Enneagram and socionics are two different things. Enneagram influences your behavior for the most part, there is no correlation from what I've seen. Any socionics type can be any enneagram type. They are two separate systems of typing.
    Last edited by BlackCat; 06-09-2009 at 06:31 AM. Reason: I was waaay off on my typing.
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    Um, BlackCat - I really highly doubt you are an ILI just based on that post... "Vibes" ? Talk of that reminds me of creative.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    ah yes.
    But I forgot to mention that around strangers he tends to to be pretty noisy and talkataive too, uusually not in groups, but with one or two people he definatly appears extraverted.


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    I focus on where I fall into a group, how I fit in, what role I play in the group, what roles others play in the group. There is generally, I always have a certain awkwardness to me but once I'm comfortable, that doesn't so much become the focus. I may also be affected by other people's social energy within the group. I get nervous in big groups, but I like smaller groups. I generally want for everyone to be comfortable if it is a group of friends.

    I talk more to people who I connect with more. I don't purposefully try to exclude people, but there are certain people who I don't naturally connect with. If a topic that I'm knowledgable in comes up, I can go on and on. Otherwise, I do more of the listening than the talking. If there is no one I know in the group, I get very quiet but I observe the dynamics of the different people. If there is some common ground, I want to join in the group but it's an awkward.
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    Im pretty comfortable in 1-1 situations unless I really don't click with them. Then I get pretty uncomfortable and quiet lol. But in a group I often go quiet and don't know what to say unless someone asks me something. Sometimes I'll have small outbursts of being really sociable in groups but it's short-lived and rare. I have to be in a really good mood.
    I haven't had a 'friend group' since I was a preteen.

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    x
    Last edited by RBRS; 03-09-2020 at 03:01 PM.

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