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Thread: ESTp (female) and INFp (male) duality

  1. #1

    Default ESTp (female) and INFp (male) duality

    Okay.

    I've read through some posts of people who claim to be ESTP...whatever. Personally? I think they're posers.

    I'm an ESTP female and I met an INFP male online. We're great conversationalists. I totally fell for the guy. He came over from Europe, we totally got along. Now it's like...he's wishy washy.

    What is that?

  2. #2
    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    He's INFp.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Uncertainty

    edit:

    FDG's answer is superior

  4. #4

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    So now what?

    I totally dig the guy. Personally? I think it's weird that he knows what he wants when he's with me. Yet, as soon as he gets home, he's uncertain.

    He sent me this friggin email last week saying a lot of smack. Then today he sends me an email saying he misses me.

    I resent his email over reminding him of the sh*t he sent over to begin with to "jarr" his memory.

    What is it with these people?

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    Edited for gayness.
    ENTp

  6. #6

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    While I do appreciate good humor, can we get some people who know what the h*ll they're talking about?
    Thanks.

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    Edited for gayness.
    ENTp

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    Quote Originally Posted by Got_to_be_ESTP
    So now what?

    I totally dig the guy. Personally? I think it's weird that he knows what he wants when he's with me. Yet, as soon as he gets home, he's uncertain.

    He sent me this friggin email last week saying a lot of smack. Then today he sends me an email saying he misses me.

    I resent his email over reminding him of the sh*t he sent over to begin with to "jarr" his memory.

    What is it with these people?
    Best thing to do is to ignore the mixed messages, and see only the good ones. Chances are that if you ignore the bad he will forget about it.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Transigent
    Okay.

    Rule #1. Always assume the answer is going to be yes.

    Even when it is no, just pretend it is yes.

    You will be fine.
    AH shit, Transigent anticipated me.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Got_to_be_ESTP
    While I do appreciate good humor, can we get some people who know what the h*ll they're talking about?
    Thanks.
    He's right, and you should know it being an ESTp.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    He's INFp.
    I'm with you on that one.

    Take John Kerry, an INFp. What did Bush call him? Wishy washy. Lacking resolve. They just concentrate more on people's feelings than on "getting things done." They have resolve (toward being on good terms with people) but not toward the same things you do.

    Anyone think that Bush won re-election because he was running against his dual?

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    I'm an INFp male... I think there is actually some truth to what Transigent and FDG have said. Take a look at this quote from an old thread:

    Quote Originally Posted by Baby
    If you do go the direct route, Kim, be prepared for a vague/half-assed answer... heh... we INFps are so confusing sometimes we don't even understand each other. If he says "Yes" but really means "No" he wants you to ease off. If he says "No" but he really means "Yes" then he needs a buffer period of time to think about it first and then (perhaps a few weeks/months later) it's time to be direct again. If he says "No" and really means "No" then it's better to let it go. If he says "Yes" but really means "Yes" then it's best to keep your cool and go about it so that you don't make him feel obligated...
    See: here for the whole thread.. which just ended up confusing Kim even more.

    Basically this is the reason we INFps have ESTps for duals. We're the most insecure motherfuckers of the Socion. You ESTps are the most bullheaded fuckoffs of the Socion. A match made in Hell, no? It's very hard for us to admit that we want to commit to a relationship. I'm willing to bet that email he sent you is just his insecurity speaking - he might not be sure he wants a relationship atm (but judging from the fact that he followed up with another one with the opposite message, I'm also willing to bet that he secretly does want to pursue something with you)... I'd go on as if you never read the thing. Duality has a way of renewing itself after times of stagnancy or even outright hostility. The next time you meet, strike up a conversation - ignore the wishy-washy bullshit (it's justa front, a defense mechanism), and show him you're willing to overlook his insecurities. Good luck.

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    Wow, ESTps ARE scary!
    “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
    ― Anais Nin

  14. #14
    Creepy-Diana

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    .

  15. #15
    Creepy-

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    From experience, INFp males never seem to know what they want... and if they do, they'll never tell you. Same with the females, really.

    The solution is to be assertive yourself. It's an attractive trait

  16. #16

    Default Thanks Baby and Ishysquishy

    Thanks for the information. It makes sense.
    Gracias.

  17. #17
    Creepy-aurora_faerie

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    Quote Originally Posted by Transigent
    Quote Originally Posted by Got_to_be_ESTP
    While I do appreciate good humor, can we get some people who know what the h*ll they're talking about?
    Thanks.
    Oh. I get it now.

    He thinks your a bitch.

    AHAHAHHAHAHA OMFG

    LMFAO

    AHAHHAHAHAHAHA

    HAHAHAAHAH


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    Lol this thread was funny.

    I think it is interesting to hear how annoying a male IEI is from a female SLEs perspective.

    Basically, my advice to all the female SLEs out there who have found their dual, take control, they are waiting for someone to.

    They are indecisive and wishy-washy by nature, they need some Se to light a fire under their ass.

    But that doesn't mean take care of everything for him, teach him your Se ways.
    The Barnum or Forer effect is the tendency for people to judge that general, universally valid statements about personality are actually specific descriptions of their own personalities. A "universally valid" statement is one that is true of everyone—or, more likely, nearly everyone. It is not known why people tend to make such misjudgments, but the effect has been experimentally reproduced.

    The psychologist Paul Meehl named this fallacy "the P.T. Barnum effect" because Barnum built his circus and dime museum on the principle of having something for everyone. It is also called "the Forer effect" after its discoverer, the psychologist Bertram R. Forer, who modestly dubbed it "the fallacy of personal validation".

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