Okay, I can't take it anymore. I'm going to have to post... (yes, about someone I am dating)... and yes, she's obviously and ISTp.
We have only gone out a few times. The first few were pretty good, then all of a sudden things got weird. I think it got weird right around a week when I had to cancel our plans... but I'm not sure if that's why things got weird.
At first she always picked up the phone when I called (which was like once a week). Then she stopped answering her phone. I would call maybe three times (once a day, three days in a row) before she would call back. When she did return my call, she politely appologized and we made plans for the weekend.... I sometimes have issues answering my phone, so I didn't think anything of it.
The situation repeated this week. I had not called her in ~1 week? She finally returned my call and I asked her if she wanted to get coffee today. We both had busy schedules, so I told her to call me at 1 and we would play it from there. She had not called at 1:30 so I call her, I get her voice message.... All I wanted to know is if I should start making myself lunch.
I get this weird impression that she is affraid to talk to me or something. It's not like she's hurting my feelings. I ust don't understand why she can't simply call and say she can't do anything. It's just common courtesy... see, an INTj even knows that.
Anyways, I need to confront her (should I?), and I need to know the best way to do it. She seems to get nervous when I ask her indepth questions. By in depth I mean "what interests you". I guess she feels like I'm putting her on the spot. She has a burrier that I am unable to penetrate. Its starting to get to me... nothing will progress if she doesn't at least sometimes give me a taste of what she's like.
I would just ask her point blank "What do you think about me," but I don't think she would like that too much.
Sorry about the long post. I know it's kind of choppy... ask questions on whatever you find unclear. Thanks.


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I usually dont expect a call from an ISTP and I dont mind calling them or dropping by, but if they seem to distant and cool then I will give up (for a time). Ive noticed with some ISTPs that they try to manage their relationships so that no one is too close or far. This is why they can seem moody. They dont want anyone too close and all over them but they dont want to be all alone so they send off mixed signals rather like and ENFP but ENFPs are far more skillfull at it 