Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
Do you have the recipe for how to say "I'm not responsible..." without getting a HA hit straight back?
It isn't always possible to get out of a PoLR hit, because some people will simply insist that your PoLR is everyone's responsibility. I can see why the person might respond to "I'm not responsible" by taking it into their own hands (an HA hit) - if the person isn't determined to make you deal with the issue one way or another, you might be able to respond to that by defending your personal space (in which your HA is satisfied) and maintaining enough distance that that isn't disturbed.

Any universal recipe for staving off PoLR/HA hits would require a universal recipe for making people agree with you.

EDIT: Most of the clueless responses - shrugging, "I have no idea," "I'm out of my depth" will convince people that you can't be expected to deal with the issue. "Pet peeve" is a handy way to express things you don't want to be around without saying that you're right. It can make you seem like a moron, but, well, most people don't bother morons.

Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
Could you give an example of how this works?
How about your conflict with the EII in your family (your mother-in-law, if I remember correctly) over that girl (your daughter?)'s birthday party? We only had your perspective, but it did come up that the reason she was causing trouble was several relationships between family members - her bad relationship with the other mother, her good relationship with her husband, etc. These clumsy, absolute relationships conflicted with your more careful attention to the girl's feelings - she was quite willing to allow emotional trouble that would blow over eventually in order to act according to the clearer, more solid relationships. This is much like how a type will ignore methods that would be better in a given situation because they don't match the rest of the system.

In this situation, the only HA that I know of was yours. As it turned out, you were more frightened than the situation warranted, because the girl liked having two parties. You, however, saw that an benefit (to the girl) that you were counting on was being dismissed without respect for , and knowing of no way to replace it with another benefit, attempted to set things back the way you wanted them.