Beta quadra: feeling too intense while others feel too dull?

[strrrng]

I think an important thing for people to keep in mind, is that intensity and vapidity are not mutually-exclusive extremes. A person can be intense and be found boring by people, possibly due to the fact that they see no need to express it all the time, and vice-versa. I know many times I have found people who are labelled "intense" by others quite boring.


And lol dinki <3

[strrrng]

@Dinki: I am not discounting your claims here, but many times people can feel like they're intense, but really not be. And a lot of times, those same people are the ones who make the effort to tell others about it (i.e. writing about it on a forum), as a means to enhance the feeling, and possibly complete their self-fulfilling prophecy. I tend to think that most truly "intense" people might not pay as much attention to that facet of themselves, due to a more instinctive awareness of, and control over, it. And even if others comment on it, I doubt that they are likely to take much time for self-gratification; after all, it is simply a natural part of them.

Additionally, the ones who immediately criticize others for talking about intensity as if it is some awesome trait, are unwittingly falling into the same trap themselves. For, if they didn't assume that very thing, they wouldn't feel the inclination to accuse others of assuming it, because the thought would never have crossed their minds in the first place.

Ultimately, people just need to do away with their fucked up ideas of what intensity connotes.

[dinki]

I think an important thing for people to keep in mind, is that intensity and vapidity are not mutually-exclusive extremes. A person can be intense and be found boring by people, possibly due to the fact that they see no need to express it all the time, and vice-versa. I know many times I have found people who are labelled "intense" by others quite boring.


And lol dinki <3

Yeah, I agree. I do happen to think of myself as boring & intense. Because I feel I can't express my 'intensity' to most people, I shut off and just be 'sociable' is the most basic way. So I feel that I either act dull (holding back because I think it wouldn't go down well) or intense - which I do find to be exciting - or people have described as exciting. So it's like no balance. And why I find this aggrivating, is that when I find someone I like, I let loose and they don't seem to be able to handle it, so it hurts because I feel there is something wrong with being so intense but I can't find a way to be unitense that doesn't bore me. Maybe that's a cocky way to describe it, but it is what it is, lol I am not going to censor it or find an inoffensive way to describe it to people who are offended by me saying I am intense, haha.

I do not think being intense is something to aspire to, but it is wicked fun when two or more intense people get together (unless we are hating on each other in which case, haha it's not so fun).

[dinki]

@Dinki: I am not discounting your claims here, but many times people can feel like they're intense, but really not be. And a lot of times, those same people are the ones who make the effort to tell others about it (i.e. writing about it on a forum), as a means to enhance the feeling, and possibly complete their self-fulfilling prophecy. I tend to think that most truly "intense" people might not pay as much attention to that facet of themselves, due to a more instinctive awareness of, and control over, it. And even if others comment on it, I doubt that they are likely to take much time for self-gratification; after all, it is simply a natural part of them.

Additionally, the ones who immediately criticize others for talking about intensity as if it is some awesome trait, are unwittingly falling into the same trap themselves. For, if they didn't assume that very thing, they wouldn't feel the inclination to accuse others of assuming it, because the thought would never have crossed their minds in the first place.

Ultimately, people just need to do away with their fucked up ideas of what intensity connotes.

Ok, fair enough, maybe I am not lol :wink:. But I do feel like I have to hold back from being myself until I feel like other people will 'get' or 'like' it because it feels so strong so maybe I just think it comes across that way, when in reality it doesn't.

[strrrng]

Yeah, I agree. I do happen to think of myself as boring & intense. Because I feel I can't express my 'intensity' to most people, I shut off and just be 'sociable' is the most basic way. So I feel that I either act dull (holding back because I think it wouldn't go down well) or intense - which I do find to be exciting - or people have described as exciting. So it's like no balance. And why I find this aggrivating, is that when I find someone I like, I let loose and they don't seem to be able to handle it, so it hurts because I feel there is something wrong with being so intense but I can't find a way to be unitense that doesn't bore me. Maybe that's a cocky way to describe it, but it is what it is, lol I am not going to censor it or find an inoffensive way to describe it to people who are offended by me saying I am intense, haha.

Actually, I pretty much relate to this completely. And don't worry about censoring; if it's real, the medium of delivery matters little.

I do not think being intense is something to aspire to, but it is wicked fun when two or more intense people get together (unless we are hating on each other in which case, haha it's not so fun).

Exactly. It is not an ideal, behavioral modification, etc. It is more or less an intrinsic potential within each person that can be activated to varying degrees.

Situations don't induce intensity, and emotions don't cause it. I think it comes down to having a more visceral awareness of your psycho-physical boundaries, and utilizing them accordingly.

[Lotus]

This is so ridiculous. Honestly, I don't care whether being ‘intense’ is a good or bad quality. I'm not going to whip out a fucking dictionary, but I've always associated the word with extreme—extremeness of emotion, exertion, difficulty, etc.—of anything, I guess. Even extremeness of sentiment or behavior, like her example:

I definitely agree. I know people that try so hard to be a certain way (e.g. "I never waste food. I hate wasting food! If I see food fall on the ground, I will pick it up and eat it!!") and then they act peeved when someone calls them out on being hardcore about it, haha. It doesn't make sense to me.

The first comment was more or less a joke, but still, it is annoying when people attribute others' dispositions toward them to not being able to “handle” them or something. And Christ, did I ever comment on whether this was a good or bad thing? Ugh, I say one thing and it upsets you people. It's so fucking petty.

[strrrng]

.

[Mediator Kam]

Are you kidding me? I'm not even going to bother reading all of that. You need to back off. You honestly have too much time on your hands or way too much angst built up at me to continue this. You know what? I've PMed the OP apologizing in response to all this hours ago, so stop being such a creepy prick, okay? I know what I'm fucking talking about, so stop making assumptions about me when you really don't know shit.

Intense.

[HKitty]

Beta's do you ever feel like you are too intense and most other people are too dull, well not dull, just not intense enough?
God this sounds like such a elitist bullshit haha. But I always feel so intense, and I feel I have to pull back and hold it inside when I am with most people. I have to dull myself and become more mellow because most people just can't handle it.
It's so aggrivating. It feels so suffocating. Like you just want to be free but you can't let it out because you feel like it could destroy everything. It's such a blast when you meet someone you can let loose with, someone who can meet your intensity, it's such a rush, such a fucking release.
This is why I hate it when people tell me I am one of there best friends, I know it sounds dumb, but it sort of hurts in a way haha, when they say that because it feels like they don't know who I am and so I let loose to see if they can handle it and most of the time they can't, they have no fucking idea what's going on.
Sound it's like you are stuck. Caged up. You just can't be what you are, it doesn't feel right or safe with most people.
Does anyone feel this way? Beta's are pretty intense compared to everyone else.

Story of my life.
I wish I had friends. The real kind.

[Ezra]

Just ignore her, dinki. Allie is in complete denial and is at war with herself.

Having others comment on your intensity is definitely a more reliable barometer than a self-assessment. However, I think most people have no clue what intensity really is, and apply the term to a wide-range of behaviors in people that actually don't pertain to it at all. If a person is dogmatically imposing with their opinions, they can be intense; if someone gets loud and aggressive when they're angry, they get called intense, etc. Like unefille said, the word is too vague and general, and thus leaves too much room for interpretation. IMO it has very specific roots, but unfortunately most people don't care enough to figure out what they really are. Thus, I don't even usually trust other peoples' assessments of someone's "intensity."

Yeah, I completely agree. To me, I am just being enthusiastic and caring about life. I think other people are spineless, weak-willed and completely lacking in focus.

[kensi]

Beta's do you ever feel like you are too intense and most other people are too dull, well not dull, just not intense enough?
God this sounds like such a elitist bullshit haha. But I always feel so intense, and I feel I have to pull back and hold it inside when I am with most people. I have to dull myself and become more mellow because most people just can't handle it.
It's so aggrivating. It feels so suffocating. Like you just want to be free but you can't let it out because you feel like it could destroy everything. It's such a blast when you meet someone you can let loose with, someone who can meet your intensity, it's such a rush, such a fucking release.
This is why I hate it when people tell me I am one of there best friends, I know it sounds dumb, but it sort of hurts in a way haha, when they say that because it feels like they don't know who I am and so I let loose to see if they can handle it and most of the time they can't, they have no fucking idea what's going on.
Sound it's like you are stuck. Caged up. You just can't be what you are, it doesn't feel right or safe with most people.
Does anyone feel this way? Beta's are pretty intense compared to everyone else.

ive been told i'm real intense at times; but i am not beta.

[Satan]

Yeah whatever, but people have actually commented on my intensity so it's pretty obvious that what I said is the case.

Well aren't you the man.

[Ezra]

Yeah Allie is clearly the most intense of all of us.

[Ezra]

FTR, this looks like one of strrrng's avatars:



Also, when I was searching, I happened upon this hot girl I thought was worth parading:



Probably IEI (or SEI model).

[Gilly]

Have you ever made a post that did not contain some form of ego or intellectual masturbation?

[strrrng]

Yeah, what the hell. lol.

[Ezra]

lol WTF is that shit

[Gilly]

Kioshi, the only intellectual challenge you present is trying to figure out how the fuck someone might come to be as unwittingly self-absorbed, pretentious, and laughably obtuse as you while remaining convinced of the integrity of his self-observations.

[crazedrat]

I think you should probably be a little less pretentious, yeah. I'm not really getting your cat like insights, either .. reading that was like listening to my grandmother trip on acid. I especially liked the unexplained mathematical formula which was supposed to show how often you get bored. lol. so is that the failure of the reader or the writer?

[Brilliand]

If it's true, then there's not harm in saying it... it does sound like you're painting yourself as a god though.

I'm more curious about that formula. What does "kT" mean? Wikipedia suggested kiloTeslas and (Boltzmann constant)*Temperature, neither of which make much sense to take the square root of. And what are your units of reaction time? Seconds would be my first guess (with would make kT square hertz), but I can imagine why that would be wrong.

[Gilly]

...

[parcel]

Beta's do you ever feel like you are too intense and most other people are too dull, well not dull, just not intense enough?
. . . . But I always feel so intense, and I feel I have to pull back and hold it inside when I am with most people. I have to dull myself and become more mellow because most people just can't handle it. It's so aggrivating. It feels so suffocating. Like you just want to be free but you can't let it out because you feel like it could destroy everything. It's such a blast when you meet someone you can let loose with, someone who can meet your intensity, it's such a rush, such a fucking release.
This is why I hate it when people tell me I am one of there best friends, I know it sounds dumb, but it sort of hurts in a way haha, when they say that because it feels like they don't know who I am and so I let loose to see if they can handle it and most of the time they can't, they have no fucking idea what's going on.
Sound it's like you are stuck. Caged up. You just can't be what you are, it doesn't feel right or safe with most people.
Does anyone feel this way? Beta's are pretty intense compared to everyone else.

I know what you mean, especially the sections in bold.

[Brilliand]

Kioshi must have deleted his post... our responses to it no longer make sense.

[parcel]

Being intense is a double edged sword. It's something you value because it makes you feel unique but it can be an annoying quality as well. Even worse, you can overemphasize your intensity so that you think it makes you appear more interesting, intellectual, and deeper than everyone else. Then, you can argue that people just don't get you. It's interesting.