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Thread: Fi-valuing and attachment styles

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  1. #1
    Creepy-male

    Default Fi-valuing and attachment styles.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachm...achment_styles

    How would non-secure attachment alter the formation and interpretation of bonds in Deltas and Gammas?

  2. #2
    redbaron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachm...achment_styles

    How would non-secure attachment alter the formation and interpretation of bonds in Deltas and Gammas?
    Hey! I thought you were ILE.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  3. #3
    Creepy-male

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    Who knows what my type is |:

    But anyway, topic. It's directly relevant to me, since I'm anxious-preoccupied, and I know an IEE who is avoidant-dismissive.

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    Sauron, The Great Enemy ArchonAlarion's Avatar
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    Im anxious.

    also these bonds are not limited to Fi at all.
    The end is nigh

  5. #5
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    How would non-secure attachment alter the formation and interpretation of bonds in Deltas and Gammas?
    Quote Originally Posted by ArchonAlarion View Post
    Im anxious.

    also these bonds are not limited to Fi at all.
    Unless I missed something.

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    Sauron, The Great Enemy ArchonAlarion's Avatar
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    lol, okay i see.
    The end is nigh

  7. #7
    Creepy-Diana

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    .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana View Post
    I don't know. I'm not sure how to answer that question. I've seen myself in most of these at some point or another, but it changes. I'm primarily secure, sometimes with a dismissive streak. Sometimes I have felt clingy, other times fearful-avoidant. A lot I think depends on your relationships at the time, and how you feel about them, how you interact with each other.

    I think perhaps if a person was with an anxious-preoccupied person (clingy) they might become more dismissive if previously secure or fearful-avoidant, and more secure if previously anxious themselves.

    Two secure people would probably increase each other's security. And a secure person might become more anxious if paired with a dismissive person. A dismissive person might become more dismissive yet with an anxious person, and the anxious person more anxious.

    I wouldn't imagine it'd happen in a short time period, but over time having ideas reinforced one way or another might lead to some change in opinion of oneself and how one felt about relationships in general. After all, if your attachment style is formed by relationships, it could continue to adjust through relationships. Including of course your relationship with yourself, your own self-esteem, meaning you could over time become more secure by being more secure with yourself.
    I think this makes a lot of sense. Very well put. I never thought about it changing over time, but it makes so much sense. I mean, if socionics is based on inter-type relations, it would make sense that this would be as well.

    I know when someone is being clingy with me, I start acting really dismissive to get them to back off. I really, really dislike feeling smothered. If someone is acting distant (such as some introverts) it makes me super interested and almost giddy and I start trying to get them to warm up. If someone is very clear from the start about showing interest, sticking to plans, wanting me in their life, etc., then I am not anxious at all. But if they waver or are hot and cold I do get really anxious easily! If I can't tell how someone views me, I might act dismissive because that's easier than getting hurt. So I guess I'd be all of them depending on the situation, though I probably lean towards anxious as I can be oversensitive. sigh...why can't we all just get along?
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

  9. #9
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    sigh...why can't we all just get along?
    *hugs*

    Because the world is made of this and that, and we can't all be the cool quadra.

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