It's not really that the problem is "disappointment and condemnation" because of not meeting the ideal (even if it's a part of the global picture, many things exist for avoiding excessive self condemnation : self transformation, taking new view of self, etc), the problem is too that many things originate from a "wrong" ideal (ideal defined in the past by a frustration). With time, it become harder to retrace the origin of "bad ideal" wich are the contrary of the conscience and originating from a need of revenge or frustration or other wrong stuff, leading to an impression of permanent lying + being an egoistical asshole.
Oops, I just rephrased what you said.
I think the more healthy INFj are those whose ideal keep always a foot on their early childhood, when they are the more "natural" and not overcharged by frustration and other stuff. When their perception is "pure" if you want.


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