ISFjs and "holding grudges"

[PussyInASarcophagus]

STFU

[Bento]

I was acquaintanced with an ESI once. He hated everything I did and said to the point where I almost feared meeting him .he could make me feel bad about myself with a single look.

I confronted him about it and to my surprise he took it well. He even appologized and I thought we could start from the beginning. But when I met him two weeks late he ignored me completely. Even leaving the room to avoid a conversation. That was months ago and he is still very passionate about not talking to me.

I get that he might be offended and that it's hard for him to forgive but I wish there was some kind of feedback. Just something I could work with. Instead I'm forever on the shitlist and I'm not even sure why.

[ooo]

lol

I wouldn't worry too much about how an ESI treats you, I've had to confront my sister many times because she would scare my friends with her looks... and she would be like "what on earth!? I wasn't even looking at them.. " really I think ESIs are constantly preoccupied/thinking about their own shit to give a damn about the people close to them at any moment, if they want to interact, they'll be the first to approach you, and they're usually super chill and nice when they decide to do so.. but if you're not more "important" than their thoughts, there's a big chance they will just ignore you, if not worse... yes :/

[Disturbed]

I tend to hold grudges for a long time depending on how bad the offense was or how much the person annoyed me; currently, I only have one enemy and he's been my only enemy for a long time. My father was my enemy for a long time, but then I had my revenge and realized what I was doing was ridiculous anyway. I certainly don't hold grudges for every little thing, but I am generally irritable. My feelings towards others aren't stable and I don't hold super stable psychological distance; I have some borderline personality traits.

The Se subtype is slightly more able to forgive and forget than the Fi subtype although Christopher Hitchens wasn't forgiving; the Se subtype has better social skills and is generally warmer and enjoys spending time with people a lot more (that's much truer for male ESI than female ESI). At the same time though, the Se subtype is more likely to firmly believe in capital punishment than the Fi subtype is.

The Se subtype varies quite a bit though in how aggressive they are and how much autonomy they need while pretty much all Fi subtypes are just generally angry people and they generally prefer to dominate and to be in charge, they're much less able to work with others as equals but it's partly due to less being able to adjust their behaviors in relation to others' behaviors because of less visual-spatial awareness, their senses blank out they get stuck in their heads more than the Se subtype does.