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Thread: Fictional story about ILE and SEI: A Tragedy of Actors

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  1. #1
    Creepy-male

    Default Fictional story about ILE and SEI: A Tragedy of Actors

    So, here's the dig. I'm writing a story, it's an open story. I'm really, freakin' tired of hiding my ego functions and pretending I'm my super-id, so I'm writing an open story.

    Here's the deal: three central characters,

    The Author: is retelling a story of two fictional characters called Jones and Katharine.

    Jones: widower and baker, struggles with failing bakery. Bleak outlook on life since wife died ("Simple things that go unnoticed... a sniffle, a lump, a slowing heart... life's cruelty is that it is the wisest of benefactors. All things in life are calculated lessons, and we must always learn from them.")--I'd like to believe he's a "deflated ILE" (although help in shaping him towards that ideal would be appreciated (mobilizing and ignoring let me down a bit here...)).

    Katharine: mental health counselor, one of her patients kills herself. Katharine blames herself for this, and goes into a period of withdrawal. All her friends abandon her.

    I need a SEI to write as Katharine! Your character is your character, all you need to do is follow the plotline, and suggest improvements that improve the whole.

    I'm also licensing this under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 License, so it's a true community work (well, almost. I've still got Director Ego).

    Now, for the plot.

    Katharine starts pining for an external source of tranquility and goes on walks. She goes to Jones's bakery to get some bread to feed the ducks in the local park, and instantly recognizes what Jones is feeling. Her extreme loneliness misinterprets this as love, and subsequently forgets all about her problems, visiting the bakery more and more often just to see Jones more.

    Jones's mother dies, however, and he leaves to attend her funeral. As his bakery is a one-man show, he is forced to leave it closed while he is away. Katharine is heartbroken when she arrives at the closed bakery, and everything she'd forgotten above surges over her in an overwhelming wave. She then finally locks herself in her apartment and slowly starves herself to death in the dark.

    Jones's loneliness crescendos after his mother's funeral. He is now motherless and wifeless, which drains his "Life is a wise benefactor" outlook completely. He thinks back to Katharine, and from his memories, realises how similar the sadness in her eyes was to hers. He hurries back to the bakery and opens up, then becomes worried when Katharine's weekly visit does not come. He slowly disheartens over the next month, with the gnawing loneliness building just as Katharine's gnawing hunger does, until finally, as the bakery judders to a halt and collapses, Katharine's corpse is discovered and her name posted in an obituary. This is the final blow to Jones, and he drowns himself in the park lake.

    The Author then speaks up as a man named Stewart, who saw the story unfolding, and filled in the blanks... perhaps making a few assumptions and embellishments along the way. He then relates how their story inspired him to begin writing a great many novels which he can never complete.

    </plot>

    Themes (mostly very ):

    Tragedy of unfulfilledness (not a word, but you know what I mean)
    Death of women (links back to first point, but more of a focus on loss than on lack of gain)
    Loneliness
    False love
    Dark and light (consuming pessimism and buttressing optimism)

    Love you all <3

    EDIT

    Written as "Psychojournal" of characters thoughts and feelings, because The Author has magical superpsychicpowers like that.

    FURTHER EDIT

    Jones was inspired by a toaster and Katharine a kettle.

    ILE FUCKYEAH.
    Last edited by male; 01-14-2009 at 12:46 AM.

  2. #2
    Your DNA is mine. Mediator Kam's Avatar
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    my god, this really reminds me of that one story I wrote about the street urchins.

    I'd love to write for this, but I am not sure if I can give my 100%.
    D-SEI 9w1

    This is me and my dual being scientific together

  3. #3
    I had words here once, but I didn't feed them Khola aka Bee's Avatar
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    I'm also interested!! Kam we could go halvies, haha! Can she have a split identical personality?
    Hello, my name is Bee. Pleased to meet you .



  4. #4
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by bee View Post
    I'm also interested!! Kam we could go halvies, haha! Can she have a split identical personality?
    Nope, makes the character too alien (I feel), but you could both contribute to the character.

    Do you need Jones's chapter first?

    EDIT

    Try to link encounters together.

    "It was a bright July morning. Bright, and bitterly cold. A year earlier, my wife had died. Simple things that go unnoticed... a sniffle, a lump, a slowing heart... life's cruelty is that it is the wisest of benefactors. All things in life are calculated lessons, and we must always learn from them. My wife had died, my bakery was dying, and Autumn's warmth had all but faded into the bleak danse macabre of winter. 'Summer comes, Jones. All things return to how they were and how they will be.' Wise as always was life. Cruel as always, too.

    Oh, Autumn... our bakery was in its death throes too. This, life explained, was because a human in two halves is two halves of a dead human, while a worm in two halves is two worms. Life teaches too that there's never an excuse to give up the fight. Summer following Winter, and Winter following in suite--not because they are at war, but simply because that is how things happen.

    Today, though, I met a customer (such a strange thing... like an Autumn sunshower). She called herself Katharine. I do not know what life would have said of her, though. Life was strangely silent, as if contemplating how best to make Katharine a lesson. Surely she will die, then, as this is the wisdom of life."
    Last edited by male; 01-14-2009 at 01:19 AM.

  5. #5
    Your DNA is mine. Mediator Kam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    Nope, makes the character too alien (I feel), but you could both contribute to the character.

    Do you need Jones's chapter first?
    Dual, I am a perfectionist at art, and writing is an art. I am fully confident that Bee and I could go halvsies quite easily, or at least flesh out the character's emotional exoskeleton more together. I would feel much more comfortable doing that, unless you wanna get BionicGoat or Jem on it.
    D-SEI 9w1

    This is me and my dual being scientific together

  6. #6
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamangir View Post
    Dual, I am a perfectionist at art, and writing is an art. I am fully confident that Bee and I could go halvsies quite easily, or at least flesh out the character's emotional exoskeleton more together. I would feel much more comfortable doing that, unless you wanna get BionicGoat or Jem on it.
    As many as you feel you can work with (and whoever you work best with)! That's the point of the CC 3.0. I can try and tap my to sort out creative disputes too, so that's your safety net.

    Perhaps collaborate on the character, and then whichever is most confident with can take on the actual acting process.

  7. #7
    Shazaam's Avatar
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    Fuck you. I'd rather slash your throat than my wrist. Any day.

  8. #8
    Creepy-male

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    The only razor I put to myself is Occam's.

    Thanks.

  9. #9
    Your DNA is mine. Mediator Kam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gulanzon View Post
    The only razor I put to myself is Occam's.

    Thanks.
    dude, when are we gonna hook this shiat up. I just got 25 dolla cuz i'm a high rolla for my writez.
    D-SEI 9w1

    This is me and my dual being scientific together

  10. #10
    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamangir View Post
    dude, when are we gonna hook this shiat up. I just got 25 dolla cuz i'm a high rolla for my writez.
    Bee is good at the spelling/grammar side of things I hope? :-p
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

  11. #11
    Your DNA is mine. Mediator Kam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jem View Post
    Bee is good at the spelling/grammar side of things I hope? :-p
    I didn't realize how ironic that post was.
    D-SEI 9w1

    This is me and my dual being scientific together

  12. #12
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamangir View Post
    dude, when are we gonna hook this shiat up. I just got 25 dolla cuz i'm a high rolla for my writez.
    When you start writing with bee!

    I was waiting ):

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