Christmas gathering tonight. This stuff was just funny to me moreso than being perfectly representative or whatever.

SEI: "when I was a little girl, I was supposed to finish my plate, so I would hide whatever was left inside my cheeks. Later on, while watching tv with my family, I would suddenly start chewing and swallowing it. I was a chubby kid. That's how I got the nickname 'little chipmunk'"

LII: *talking about kettles for some reason*
Me: what do you use kettles for?
LII: I use a large kettle for brewing beer
Me: do you stir it with a large spoon like a witch?
LII: I have, when using candy sugar like the monks
Me: can you buy the monk beer in stores, or do you have to travel to the mountains of Nepal or something?
LII: *smirks at me for being an idiot* they're from Belgium

LSE: "picture time! If you identify as male, stand behind the couch. If you identify as female, sit on the couch. If you identify as nonbinary...get the fuck out of my house"