Limitations of the body (my confrontation of an issue)

[UDP]

I caught my body playing tricks on me today.

I've no reason to be sad or down, and I was feeling great all day, but then this afternoon, I started feeling really down, and sort of anxious. My mood was shifting really oddly. This happeneded yesterday, too. I was sitting here at my desk, and nothing seemed right. Everything was horrible, and it was slipping into a depression of sorts. I went through the web, my favorite places, and nothing seemed right - nothing was interesting. Yet only an hour or so before, everything was perfectly normal, but something was coming over me. I didn't know what to do - should I go out and do something? I said I was going to go for a jog this morning, but I had to cancel that. Maybe I should do that. Maybe I should work on doing this for this class? No, I don't really need to. ............. all that weird internal dialouge, and general just "not" knowing what I wanted to do at all. I was trying all the peices to the puzzle, but nothing was working.


I was blinded for a while, because I actually "felt" something, and couldn't logically see through it. So then I got up, moved around a little bit not knowing what to do, and then kind of felt guided towards my bed, so I just sat there. I was there, thinking..... "damn, this really sucks - I can't believe I'm feeling this way", something to that effect, and it was a sort of odd, negative downward spiral, which is completely ludacris for me. My confidence even began giving out a little bit, and I was starting to doubt some things, in an emotional way. For no real reason, either. So I was really feeling bad, to be honest.

I, mockingly, grabbed a book from my desk and brought it over to my bed, as I laid back down, just to look like I was doing something, because I don't really..... just lay there, you know... .... right.

Eventually I dozed off a little bit, but not all the way, so I was sort of just cat naping for a half an hour. I realized then it was 6pm, and that I should probably go eat something, because I was thinking about it 40 minutes ago, and didn't really act on it. Awakening from my pseudoslumber/nap, I also reached an awakend state of enlightement, and exclaimed vigerously, (in my head) :




















"F-WHAT the FUCK?!"
I realized what the hell was wrong.
NOthing was wrong with me, or my damn thought processes - it's this stupid, pathetic body I was really pissed. Because I was wondering what I was doing wrong, and then I realized that it was just because I haven't gotten enough sleep that last few nights. Going through 2 full days with 5 hours of sleep each night really fucked me over, and figuring it out - realizing taht I wasn't aware of it.... that just irrateted me. It was slightly embarrasing, for myself, to be honest (I don't mind sharing it here, though, because I think it's rather fitting in an INTj way).

So I got out of bed, and, having realized the issue directly, totally snapped out of my stuper and got my aura back, and then got some food to"hold me over".



The point of this story is - things like eating and sleeping are a real pain in the ass. But I guess I have to play by the things I can't control, and work on getting the proper amount if sleep. It makes a huge difference, I realize. More so now that I'm here in college, and living my life almost completely independantly (in regards of making sure I eat, sleep, and do what I need to do. The means are there - and that's what I consider this a vacation- but I still have to go through with it and actually eat and sleep, etc). I guess, in all reality, it's better I learn this now. As with any new development, there are a lot of little things you have to learn. Like making sure you have this or that, that you have enough time to do everything in that wonderful way where you have that aura of definitness - and can maintain it without having to rush or hurry. (Isn't it awesome when you can just carry that through the whole day? It takes some planning, though, but....... hey - that's part of it all)

I wanted to write this all out here, essentially as a journal entry, just to reinforce it in my mind, and maybe share it with some fellow people, perhaps who will find it interesting or useful. Even INTjs need to eat, and get enough sleep.... which pissed me off the most because I was really thinking I was beginning to step completely out of base human existance but this was a bit of a slap in the face. GRRR!

[UDP]

My body should just say

"You need sleep"

instead of involving all that emotional crap, and composure-deteriorating effects. That's what irritated me the most, but I guess that's sort foolish to expect your body to be as...... straightforward as I would prefer. But perhaps I can learn to "read" it more accurately........ ............. (poS human's body )

[Gilly]

You lose sleep because of depression, not the other way around. See a psychiatrist.

[UDP]

You lose sleep because of depression, not the other way around. See a psychiatrist.

Don't taint my post with that. This has nothing to do with "depression" in the medical sense. It has to do with how my body using it's own methods to get me to sleep.

I have no trouble sleeping - this post isn't about the lack of sleep, or not being able to sleep. It was my choice not to sleep the last 2 nights because I was *busy*.

I just documented a somewhat humerous situation of how my body was telling me that I needed sleep.

[anndelise]

You lose sleep because of depression, not the other way around. See a psychiatrist.

Don't taint my post with that.

Types, deletes, types, deletes...ok, I won't taint your post by responding to what he said.

UDP...if the body were more clear in it's signals, "feelers" would be able to "think" things through.

[UDP]

If you've got something to say, then say it.


I just didn't want people to thinkn I was losing sleep because of depression. That is not the essence of my experience at all.



Can you explain that last post a littl ebetter?


I'm onot even going ot try to figure it out - what you were trying to say there.

Or is this just some implicatin of how feelers and thinkers can balance each other out?

[anndelise]

Can you explain that last post a littl ebetter?


I'm onot even going ot try to figure it out - what you were trying to say there.

Or is this just some implicatin of how feelers and thinkers can balance each other out?

Nah, I was just alluding to how what you were feeling...including the confusion of it, is similar to what "feelers" go through. And trying to figure out what the body is signaling isn't easy, as you experienced. If "feelers" were able to easily identify what was being signaled, then we'd be able to express ourselves in ways other than "it doesn't 'feel' right". And hence, be considered "thinkers".

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[UDP]

Can you explain that last post a littl ebetter?


I'm onot even going ot try to figure it out - what you were trying to say there.

Or is this just some implicatin of how feelers and thinkers can balance each other out?

Nah, I was just alluding to how what you were feeling...including the confusion of it, is similar to what "feelers" go through. And trying to figure out what the body is signaling isn't easy, as you experienced. If "feelers" were able to easily identify what was being signaled, then we'd be able to express ourselves in ways other than "it doesn't 'feel' right". And hence, be considered "thinkers".

Yeah, well I don't use my "body" to "feel" things.
I think I know what you mean
and it may be similar
But...

I'm not really "F"

[Creepy-pokeball]

Hiyas UDP. I was half way through your post and was going to ask how youre eating pattern was. Be sure to keep up the good stuff ^_^ It is so fascinating how the mind and body interrelate.

[science as magic]

i thought enxjs did this a lot too. you don't?

[FDG]

i thought enxjs did this a lot too. you don't?

You meant not sleeping and then feeling like UDP?

[xiuxiu]

You lose sleep because of depression, not the other way around. See a psychiatrist.

another great gilligan post

[UDP]

Hiyas UDP. I was half way through your post and was going to ask how youre eating pattern was. Be sure to keep up the good stuff ^_^ It is so fascinating how the mind and body interrelate.

I eat as healthy as I can, considering it is a college campus.

I take my multivitamins everyday, (praise the good lord, Jesus Christ.)

What sucks is that you get chaged more for eating in the cafe, as opposed to the "dinning hall". I don't like to sit around other people and eat - well, I don't like to waste time eating and socializing like a lot of people do. Especially here, where there are not a lot of people I know (yet, I guess......)

but everyone likes to eat in groups, and do things "together". And since college punks, I mean, fellow students aren't my subordinants and can rarely, seeminly (as they say) "keep their shit together", I don't like waiting around for them.


Such....... is very rewarding, to be honest




============

Hiyas UDP. I was half way through your post and was going to ask how youre eating pattern was. Be sure to keep up the good stuff ^_^ It is so fascinating how the mind and body interrelate.

Yeah, it really is. I guess there is more a connection than I thought, because I was really feeling the effects, and didn't know the correlation between things.

It also makes me think about another experience in my past, and it makes sense of that situation.

[Creepy-pokeball]

Here is a golden rule: Whenever you are feeling down, ask yourself what you are not receiving (ethically and logically, of course) that is making you feel this way. Many times the answer is so disgustingly simple.

[UDP]

what about when I'm feeling really, really....... 'up'?


What have you to say about that?

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[Creepy-pokeball]

or porn

[Joy]

I caught my body playing tricks on me today.

I've no reason to be sad or down, and I was feeling great all day, but then this afternoon, I started feeling really down, and sort of anxious. My mood was shifting really oddly. This happeneded yesterday, too. I was sitting here at my desk, and nothing seemed right. Everything was horrible, and it was slipping into a depression of sorts. I went through the web, my favorite places, and nothing seemed right - nothing was interesting. Yet only an hour or so before, everything was perfectly normal, but something was coming over me. I didn't know what to do - should I go out and do something? I said I was going to go for a jog this morning, but I had to cancel that. Maybe I should do that. Maybe I should work on doing this for this class? No, I don't really need to. ............. all that weird internal dialouge, and general just "not" knowing what I wanted to do at all. I was trying all the peices to the puzzle, but nothing was working.


I was blinded for a while, because I actually "felt" something, and couldn't logically see through it. So then I got up, moved around a little bit not knowing what to do, and then kind of felt guided towards my bed, so I just sat there. I was there, thinking..... "damn, this really sucks - I can't believe I'm feeling this way", something to that effect, and it was a sort of odd, negative downward spiral, which is completely ludacris for me. My confidence even began giving out a little bit, and I was starting to doubt some things, in an emotional way. For no real reason, either. So I was really feeling bad, to be honest.

I, mockingly, grabbed a book from my desk and brought it over to my bed, as I laid back down, just to look like I was doing something, because I don't really..... just lay there, you know... .... right.

Eventually I dozed off a little bit, but not all the way, so I was sort of just cat naping for a half an hour. I realized then it was 6pm, and that I should probably go eat something, because I was thinking about it 40 minutes ago, and didn't really act on it. Awakening from my pseudoslumber/nap, I also reached an awakend state of enlightement, and exclaimed vigerously, (in my head) :




















"F-WHAT the FUCK?!"
I realized what the hell was wrong.
NOthing was wrong with me, or my damn thought processes - it's this stupid, pathetic body I was really pissed. Because I was wondering what I was doing wrong, and then I realized that it was just because I haven't gotten enough sleep that last few nights. Going through 2 full days with 5 hours of sleep each night really fucked me over, and figuring it out - realizing taht I wasn't aware of it.... that just irrateted me. It was slightly embarrasing, for myself, to be honest (I don't mind sharing it here, though, because I think it's rather fitting in an INTj way).

So I got out of bed, and, having realized the issue directly, totally snapped out of my stuper and got my aura back, and then got some food to"hold me over".



The point of this story is - things like eating and sleeping are a real pain in the ass. But I guess I have to play by the things I can't control, and work on getting the proper amount if sleep. It makes a huge difference, I realize. More so now that I'm here in college, and living my life almost completely independantly (in regards of making sure I eat, sleep, and do what I need to do. The means are there - and that's what I consider this a vacation- but I still have to go through with it and actually eat and sleep, etc). I guess, in all reality, it's better I learn this now. As with any new development, there are a lot of little things you have to learn. Like making sure you have this or that, that you have enough time to do everything in that wonderful way where you have that aura of definitness - and can maintain it without having to rush or hurry. (Isn't it awesome when you can just carry that through the whole day? It takes some planning, though, but....... hey - that's part of it all)

I wanted to write this all out here, essentially as a journal entry, just to reinforce it in my mind, and maybe share it with some fellow people, perhaps who will find it interesting or useful. Even INTjs need to eat, and get enough sleep.... which pissed me off the most because I was really thinking I was beginning to step completely out of base human existance but this was a bit of a slap in the face. GRRR!

Two things:

1.) This is the most INTj thing I've seen you say!
2.) Make sure you're getting enough protein.

[UDP]

or porn

Thank you, Jadae.



I don't get sugar highs, dammit; I'm an INTj. I don't abuse substances like that. I just get horny. I'm not really into porn, but sometimes you have to give in now and then

[UDP]

Two things:

1.) This is the most INTj thing I've seen you say!
2.) Make sure you're getting enough protein.

All the good INTj stuff I really don't feel like sharing here. ( "..........." )

Yeah, I've found myself really into the chicken here. I used to get the hot chicken subs, but then I realized that I could get the chicken on the side. My plans are mixing garden salads with the hot chicken.

Mmm, it is good.

I like the milk they have here, too - choclate soy milk. It's pretty good. And fruit juices.... etc etc etc..


Oh, here's a bone for you, anyone who is still questioning my INTj-ness. An update on that "reason and religion" class -

Oldschool logic about the cosmological theory on gods existance... you know PSR? Principle of sufficient reason? Yeah, well, the critiques of that, why PSR is absurd - that's where I am. That's where I have been for a while now. We'll be reading some Kant stuff in a few weeks, but I'm going to skip ahead and read it tonight. I always liked Kant's stuff, from what little I have read. One more thing: My judgement on Western philosophy has turned out to be pretty accurate; up until around Kant, and that form of thinking, Western philosophy was absolute bullshit. People spent hundreds of years justifying god, which is nice, but..... there's more to life than that (being brief here....).

Seeing this class in action, and the outdated thought processes of that past has really made me feel like I'm on the right track in terms of my own thinking and theories. As I was walking out of class today, I said to myself "you know, you shouldn't really get upset about those outdated forms of thinking." Failure is almost always neccesary for real growth - this is the way of things. This is progress.

Thinking in that light helps me respect the.... older....... forms of logic, a little bit more. At least it's better than thinking that thoudsands of morons spent their whole lives pondering something that is quite foolish and unneccesary, ultimately.

I was going to leave a closing thought, but I've decided against it.

[mike_INTJ]

I caught my body playing tricks on me today.

I've no reason to be sad or down, and I was feeling great all day, but then this afternoon, I started feeling really down, and sort of anxious. My mood was shifting really oddly. This happeneded yesterday, too. I was sitting here at my desk, and nothing seemed right. Everything was horrible, and it was slipping into a depression of sorts. I went through the web, my favorite places, and nothing seemed right - nothing was interesting. Yet only an hour or so before, everything was perfectly normal, but something was coming over me. I didn't know what to do - should I go out and do something? I said I was going to go for a jog this morning, but I had to cancel that. Maybe I should do that. Maybe I should work on doing this for this class? No, I don't really need to. ............. all that weird internal dialouge, and general just "not" knowing what I wanted to do at all. I was trying all the peices to the puzzle, but nothing was working.

were there any low frequency sounds? i've found that when i hear a constant low sound, like a motor humming. i tend to quickly become tired (really, really tired), or depressed. it could be related.

[UDP]

I caught my body playing tricks on me today.

I've no reason to be sad or down, and I was feeling great all day, but then this afternoon, I started feeling really down, and sort of anxious. My mood was shifting really oddly. This happeneded yesterday, too. I was sitting here at my desk, and nothing seemed right. Everything was horrible, and it was slipping into a depression of sorts. I went through the web, my favorite places, and nothing seemed right - nothing was interesting. Yet only an hour or so before, everything was perfectly normal, but something was coming over me. I didn't know what to do - should I go out and do something? I said I was going to go for a jog this morning, but I had to cancel that. Maybe I should do that. Maybe I should work on doing this for this class? No, I don't really need to. ............. all that weird internal dialouge, and general just "not" knowing what I wanted to do at all. I was trying all the peices to the puzzle, but nothing was working.

were there any low frequency sounds? i've found that when i hear a constant low sound, like a motor humming. i tend to quickly become tired (really, really tired), or depressed. it could be related.

My room mate keeps his older cpu on all the time...... it is very annyoing indeed. You know, that really bad dronning sound?

That's the only thing about him that I really don't like...

[mike_INTJ]

I caught my body playing tricks on me today.

I've no reason to be sad or down, and I was feeling great all day, but then this afternoon, I started feeling really down, and sort of anxious. My mood was shifting really oddly. This happeneded yesterday, too. I was sitting here at my desk, and nothing seemed right. Everything was horrible, and it was slipping into a depression of sorts. I went through the web, my favorite places, and nothing seemed right - nothing was interesting. Yet only an hour or so before, everything was perfectly normal, but something was coming over me. I didn't know what to do - should I go out and do something? I said I was going to go for a jog this morning, but I had to cancel that. Maybe I should do that. Maybe I should work on doing this for this class? No, I don't really need to. ............. all that weird internal dialouge, and general just "not" knowing what I wanted to do at all. I was trying all the peices to the puzzle, but nothing was working.

were there any low frequency sounds? i've found that when i hear a constant low sound, like a motor humming. i tend to quickly become tired (really, really tired), or depressed. it could be related.

My room mate keeps his older cpu on all the time...... it is very annyoing indeed. You know, that really bad dronning sound?

That's the only thing about him that I really don't like...

it could be related. sort of a trance like, like trance music can do to you. i can listen to many sounds, but at certain frequencies (theta?) i'll become super intensly tired. yawning non stop. i leave the sound and i'm fine. it could be that your trapped in there with that sound, and your mind is resonating it more. that plus lack of sleep makes it worse.

the humming of lights, or an AC unit near by could be doing it as well. something you can feel but not hear. something to play with anyway - especially if it's sudden and not medicine related.

[UDP]

Oh, yeah..........


actually, the way you put it there, I know exactly what you mean.

SOmetimes certain noises, pitches, redundancies....... really get to me.


No one can hear the alarm for when the doors been off too long, but I always hear it. I'm also very sensative to anything sharply loud, and especially highpitched noises. .......

So yeah, noise can have it's effect.

I suppose, invertedly, that good noises also do have somewhat of an effect, too. I pay attention to how women's voices sound.


But more so about those 'negative sounds'....... yeah...... I know what you mean

[Creepy-pokeball]

Two things:

1.) This is the most INTj thing I've seen you say!
2.) Make sure you're getting enough protein.

All the good INTj stuff I really don't feel like sharing here. ( "..........." )

Yeah, I've found myself really into the chicken here. I used to get the hot chicken subs, but then I realized that I could get the chicken on the side. My plans are mixing garden salads with the hot chicken.

Mmm, it is good.

I like the milk they have here, too - choclate soy milk. It's pretty good. And fruit juices.... etc etc etc..


Oh, here's a bone for you, anyone who is still questioning my INTj-ness. An update on that "reason and religion" class -

Oldschool logic about the cosmological theory on gods existance... you know PSR? Principle of sufficient reason? Yeah, well, the critiques of that, why PSR is absurd - that's where I am. That's where I have been for a while now. We'll be reading some Kant stuff in a few weeks, but I'm going to skip ahead and read it tonight. I always liked Kant's stuff, from what little I have read. One more thing: My judgement on Western philosophy has turned out to be pretty accurate; up until around Kant, and that form of thinking, Western philosophy was absolute bullshit. People spent hundreds of years justifying god, which is nice, but..... there's more to life than that (being brief here....).

Seeing this class in action, and the outdated thought processes of that past has really made me feel like I'm on the right track in terms of my own thinking and theories. As I was walking out of class today, I said to myself "you know, you shouldn't really get upset about those outdated forms of thinking." Failure is almost always neccesary for real growth - this is the way of things. This is progress.

Thinking in that light helps me respect the.... older....... forms of logic, a little bit more. At least it's better than thinking that thoudsands of morons spent their whole lives pondering something that is quite foolish and unneccesary, ultimately.

I was going to leave a closing thought, but I've decided against it.

You'll find more "fun" religion tidbits n' stuff in your future. I promise

[UDP]

I really don't like to talk about religion, somewhat.

But I suppose I will encounter it inevitably...
because of what my interests are.

[Creepy-pokeball]

I usually ignore or turn the other way into the sunset for that oh-so-fun-topic unless it is in the company of close friends I trust really well. If not, I seriously dont wanna hear soap-box #34565624499 and want to actually try to care.

That said, you'll find it has some sort of relation in about half the subjects taught.

[UDP]

I usually ignore or turn the other way into the sunset for that oh-so-fun-topic unless it is in the company of close friends I trust really well. If not, I seriously dont wanna hear soap-box #34565624499 and want to actually try to care.

That said, you'll find it has some sort of relation in about half the subjects taught.

I am very similar

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[mike_INTJ]

it could be related. sort of a trance like, like trance music can do to you. i can listen to many sounds, but at certain frequencies (theta?) i'll become super intensly tired. yawning non stop. i leave the sound and i'm fine. it could be that your trapped in there with that sound, and your mind is resonating it more. that plus lack of sleep makes it worse.

the humming of lights, or an AC unit near by could be doing it as well. something you can feel but not hear. something to play with anyway - especially if it's sudden and not medicine related.

I know what you mean. I remember once in college I stopped by a friends dorm. He had Nine Inch Nails playing. It didn't take but 5 minutes and I was asleep. He woke me up, turned it off, and we left, and then I was fine.

people look at me funny when i tell them that i relax to Marylin Manson, Rammstien, and Rob Zombie.

usually they say that i look like am the classical music kind of person. but with the exception of Vanessa Mae, or maybe some Vilvadi (devils trill and so forth) - classical gives me a big headache. i think it's the high shrilling sounds, it resonates too much.

[UDP]

Marylin Manson, Rammstien, and Rob Zombie.

I'm pretty sure I can't stand those people, and there's no way in hell I'd fall asleep to them.


BUt I don't like shrilling noises, that's for sure.

[mike_INTJ]

Marylin Manson, Rammstien, and Rob Zombie.

I'm pretty sure I can't stand those people, and there's no way in hell I'd fall asleep to them.


BUt I don't like shrilling noises, that's for sure.

i don't fall asleep to them, but it focuses my mind. if i fell asleep to them, i wouldn't be able to drive listening to them. though if i get used to the song, then i will get sleepy.