awww....Originally Posted by dolphin
childlike & victim is worse
victim & caring is worse
they're equally bad
awww....
IEI-Fe 4w3
even though it sounds more logical that victim and infantile would be worse.. it’s not as bad because one is introverted the other is extroverted and the victim is said to be able to adapt a bit to the other person.
victim is supposed to conflict with caretaker (LSE/IEI) and childlike with aggressor (LII/SEE) so that would be the worst combinations as conflict is the worst intertype relation
on a gut level childlike + victim sounds creepier. Reminds me of furries/adult diaper fetishes and other things I don't get.
Victim and caring sounds like it would just have a lot of good intentions that go nowhere, stale/dead instead of outright negative. Like a beta cuck asking the girl what she wants for dinner instead of just pulling her hair and throwing it down like she wants, or whatever. Over time though I guess this could fester into something just as negative as the first you know, if the relationship lacked direct honesty.
I’m a Victim and I’ve had sex and not had sex with all the erotic attitudes. My conclusion (and ranking order) is:
1. Victim-Aggressor sex is great. It starts off good and gets better with time.
2. Victim-Caregiver sex is problematic. It starts off good and eventually becomes boring and pointless.
3. Victim-Victim sex is nearly non-existent. Theoretically, it could be good, but it’s like trying to start a fire by rubbing two wet newspapers together. It helps if you add alcohol to the participants.
4. Victim-Infantile sex is kind of revolting. Why would you want to do something like that?
Last edited by Adam Strange; 08-16-2018 at 02:18 AM.
@Adam Strange
Your victim-victim description was spot-on, I also liked the others- though ime, aggressor-victim sex is amazing in the beginning then can quickly fall flat. I guess if you use all your cards in the beginning too well, there's nothing much to look forward to or something.
What bout Caregiver-Caregiver? it feels like this combo has like the most objective support of society as being the 'healthiest' or something but how does it work on a more erotic/romantic/subjective level?
@BandD, In the three cases which I can identify were Victim-Aggressor sex, we started out accidentally and just got better with each other as time went on. The longest relationship lasted over two years, and I broke it off with great difficulty because the sex was just fantastic. I’m pretty sure she felt the same way.
Same and opposite quadras have the best sex. Bad sex comes from adjacent quadras.
@BandD, My parents are Caregiver-Caregiver (LSE-SLI), and while they are absolutely, unshakably faithful to each other and had three kids, I got the impression that they never had or even thought about sex. Sex was never mentioned, never hinted at, in all the years I’ve known them. There were zero displays of affection. (I sure didn’t get my ardentcy from them.)
I’m sure they love each other, but they sure never showed it.
meh @Adam Strange you just proved my point for me and didn't add anything new. I'm not mad at you or anything it's just like 'yeah... you just basically repeated what I thought to have been true, when I didn't want to be right in the first place.' Caregiver-Caregiver can't just be sexless boring good morals can it? Though it does definitely sound like one of those relationships the mayor of a city would approve of and it having no spice/sexuality/shades of gray. I guess as a rambunctious Beta I overrate that stuff though. =p
They didn't talk about that stuff also simply because they were your parents, and I don't know many/any midwestern parents who openly talk about their sex life with their kids lol it is waaaay too embarrassive/boundary breaking lol.
Caregiver-caregiver sex is physically pleasurable without enough intellectual intimacy or variety. It feels great physically, but your minds do not connect deeply enough. Intellectually/spiritually, you're left feeling understimulated. You need the childlike's tendency to "exist outside their own sexuality. Sex is to be metabolized psychologically for them in an almost roundabout way - as an emotional entity, or possibly even an intellectual exercise."
Yeah the deep mind connection is so important. It definitely takes more than just some generic Chad taking his shirt off to be properly aroused.
without feelings and personal respect ("intellectual intimacy" in your terms) people are not attracted enough for such relations, in general. a pair of Si types would not be an exclusion. variety would be in case the need in it
As the emotions are important, the opposite quadras should not have "best sex". Similar types (clubs) of the opposite or same quadras is not good. Bad IR like superego and conflict - doubtful also. Good IR allow better emotions and hence the better impressions from sex. At least such will be in longer time relations, where friendship emotions are important.
Sure, personal differences can attract people together and motivate them to develop more feelings and respect for one another. And caregivers can have feelings and respect for one another, even if they both are Si egos.
However, feelings and personal respect are not what I meant by 'intellectual intimacy'. What I was getting at is that you are both too focused in your bodies (at least during sex) to have much coherence in your minds, which lessens the mental connection.
Idk, maybe this is not how it is for all caregiver/caregiver sexual relations. I'm just going off my personal experiences.
Intuitives (both childlikes and victims) were always better at helping me feel the mental connection between us two. I was more conscious of us as two personalities meeting together, affecting each other in mental or spiritual ways, instead of only two bodies meeting together and making each other feel pleasure.
Hope this makes some sense. It's kind of hard to explain because it's an abstract (read: intuitive) concept to begin with.
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