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Thread: What do ESFjs want in a relationship/their partner?

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    Quote Originally Posted by CONFIMED View Post
    Don't worry, I'm not gonna say something bash-y.

    The bolded part interests me, because the last thing I would ever call an Ni-polr is far-sighted, yet the Ni-polrs I know seem to think of themselves as far-sighted to the point of obsession, from my pov. In the specific instance you mention here, I started thinking ... For me, if I meet the right person, there really is no need for caution, because I simply "know"--I can see how things will unfold and can put my trust in the person pretty quickly. I have thought in the past that maybe the reason for so much fixation on "the future" for Ni-polr is expressly the lack of ability to just know how things will unfold, with a resultant need for caution and planning regarding future events. There seems to be a need to shape the future forcibly because of feeling at the mercy of it otherwise.

    I'm speaking more of LSE here, though. Does any of this sound accurate to you, despite the fact that it's biased by opposite-quadra views?
    Both ESE and LSE are considered "far-sighted" according to the Reinin dichotomies. http://www.wikisocion.org/en/index.p...in_dichotomies

    Quote Originally Posted by CONFIMED View Post
    Ni-polr is expressly the lack of ability to just know how things will unfold
    This isn't necessarily what Ni is. It is, in the context of time. I'll give an example.

    It's 5:30pm. I have to be somewhere at 6:30pm, and I should probably leave @ 6pm to be on time. Being far-sighted and thinking long-term, I decide to spend some time making phonecalls for my business, for my financial future. I pay off some bills while I'm at, also budgeting and planning long-term. I put away groceries, so when I come back, I can quickly and efficiently get what I want... all of this, then OH CRAP, it's 6:15pm!!! This is what Ni-POLR feels like.

    Ni is an understanding of multiple ideas, and which is most important, what will lead to what: in this sense, knowing how things play out. Knowing that not getting ready to leave NOW, will cause me to be late. Ni can also be viewed more long-term, as starting certain projects in life, knowing when would be best to date someone, knowing the essence of person correlated to the timing of their decisions in life, etc. In this case, getting ready is important, would support Se, being able to identify what is possible, how we can act NOW. Se would come in and say, we can change, we can leave now, we can arrive on-time and in top-fashion, appearing excellent.

    Si is more tactical, planning for convenience, whether far-sighted OR carefree, which combines with Ne, seeing what is possible.

    Long explanation Golden, but does this make sense? As an Ni-POLR, I have a basic understanding of my weakness, and it takes a lot of effort to think about WHEN I should start doing something. There's actually an IEI girl on my business team, my supervisor, who I get along with very well: whenever she says something time-related to planning, like I think we should start doing this now, rather than wait until the end of the month: I go along with what she says. I can't really argue with it, or offer anything constructive to say in return, but I'm able to use my Se then to act on it, think of things we can do...

    In this context, I understand the important of Ni, and I use Se to gameplan lots of ideas with her... this is also an example of how my understanding of socionics has helped me make better decisions in my real life, related to business. Without knowledge of socionics, I'd probably ignore her more, see her contribution as unvaluable... but with my socionics knowledge, I'm able to realize everyone's contributions can be valuable, even if I don't necessarily see it right away myself. It's helpful to consider all point of views.

    Sorry for the long response. But TLDR: yes, Si-creatives are incredibly long-term thinkers, and strategists. In terms of Ni and starting something WHEN, based on time, I also get a good feeling WHEN to do something based on wisdom... yeah I mess up a lot there, but I learn with experience how to correct this weakness.

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    When it comes to which dates I like [especially in the beginning of a relationship], I generally enjoy coffee dates the most. It's probably because coffee is one of my HUGE staples in life, and I love to talk, and jazz music is alluring to me. . . but I also like the casual-but-not-too-casual atmosphere. I feel comfortable in coffee shops. Other places I enjoy are: malls and museums. Sometimes even a library, [as nerdy as that sounds. =P] There are always pretty places where you can stop and sit to talk. Christmas lights are especially lovely if you're lucky enough to catch them. =)

    Going out to dance or to a park to walk and coming back to my place for diner are dates I enjoy when the relationship turns more serious. =)

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    I agree with the dew. Ni is not as much far sighted as "visionary" - in the sense of being about something that IS NOT NOW, and YET SHALL BE.

    An Ni type approaches a problem with a "vision" - it is something that must be transmitted to others through either Fe which is collaboration, or Te which is planning. They are generally engaged in creating an entirely new world. This is hard to do. Not a lot of us can do that!!!

    Now the Strategic/Tactical and Carefree/Farsighted dichotomies are connected to the function, not Ni as an information element.

    Tactical & Farsighted = Beta IEI & Gamma ILI


    Strategic & Carefree = Beta EIE & Gamma LIE


    As far as the Si users

    Strategic & Carefree = Delta SLI & Alpha SEI


    Tactical & Farsighted = Delta LSE & Alpha ESE


    Why is this? I am looking into that. But these are linkages of kindreds and business partners.
    Last edited by Saberstorm; 12-17-2011 at 06:28 AM.

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    Since this thread is about romance, Ni would anticpate what IS NOT NOW, and YET SHALL BE within the relationship.

    However, this anticpation must be understood as an IM element apart from the functions. This means that Ni must be understood apart from the 7th (ignoring) function. For me and mountain dew the 7th function is Fi. We subtract Fi from our behavior, and we yet fully understand it. We avoid Fi issues skillfully. Fi includes loyalty, so we try to sleep with fewer, rather than more, women because we do not wish to add to our moral duties.

    So where then is Ni as an IM element. What IS NOT NOW and YET SHALL BE?

    The Ni is the vision of the romance from an all-seeing point of view.

    (I am presuming that Mountain is still an ESE, if he is an LSE his ignoring function would be Ti. That should mean he fully understands Ti, but subtracts it in favor of Te. If he is a ESE, Ti is a weak, but valued function.)

    (I also think the Dew is a torential thinker. "ESE initiates a social torrent leaving behind a trail of emotional turbulence. Thoughts 'swarm' and chaotically displace one another." Yeah, that seems like the mountain here.
    Last edited by Saberstorm; 12-17-2011 at 06:57 AM.

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    If I go on a date... I'm either having some great food or great drinks. Usually both. I don't get caught up in the thought that what's expensive is really good, but I do know that some places that are quite expensive have the best food...lol. There may be the occasional movie or just hang out kinda date, but usually there will be food involved in a date at some point. I just choose to make sure that whatever food we're having is good food.

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    OK, good food. Nice start.

    What about types of conversations? Lot of light and humorous stories?

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    OK, good food. Nice start.

    What about types of conversations? Lot of light and humorous stories?
    If you're out with an ESE there's really nothing to fear. I would let us lead the conversation, it's kind of a strength that we have. But if you want to ask questions ask questions about us, about our lives and what we think about things that we have in common, etc. The more you can find common ground with us, the better you'll do. Also, the more you let us talk when we want to talk, the better you'll do. If we ask questions, please don't answer as succinctly as possible [yes, no's and maybes]. We really want to hear how you feel after-all. . .

    I could go on, but I'm not sure what you want to know exactly.

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