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    Default How do INFps experience unvalued Ne and Fi

    how do You experience NE and Fi..
    or what is your understanding/observation of how infps experience ne & fi...unvalued strong NeFi

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ali View Post
    how do You experience NE and Fi..
    or what is your understanding/observation of how infps experience ne & fi...unvalued strong NeFi
    The way I experience Ne is that although I appreciate lots of options and ideas, I immediately follow the ones I like the best through to their probable outcome (I do this internally, in my head) and then I spout out reasons why the idea wouldn't work. Which ends up making me look like a pessimist. But I'm just being realistic based on what I think will most likely happen. So I guess my Ni dampens my Ne (and totally trumps it, obviously).

    Fi....that's a bit tougher. This friend of mine recently cut off our friendship because his wife is jealous. We went all summer without seeing each other but when fall started back up again, we have been running into each other at church. He's been friendly on occasion but at other times he ignores me. Now I don't really CARE what the official status of our "relationship" is. I mean, I care but it's all bogus anyway. But what does really bother me is that he's not consistent with the emotional atmosphere between us. This, for me, is how my Fe trumps Fi. I would rather have him be friendly, heck, even in a fake way, and maintain a positive overall experience when we're together than ignore me due to some confusion over the "we're not friends" pronunciation. I also try to create a positive atmosphere with his wife (tho I'm not trying anymore) by approaching her to say hello, etc. even though I know she doesn't like me. That sort of thing really doesn't work well with Fi types tho. So although I feel like I understand who likes who and why, I still feel like Fe is more important and can and should be used to smooth things over and be civil and get along and stop judging or jumping to conclusions!!
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    another example of Fe and Fi, as illustrated by myself and my mother ( who is delta NF) is this: when we were on vacation, we sat down at this table with some other friends and family who were with us. Someone my mother didn't know sat down at our same (large) table and my mom got this look of shock on her face. She immediately looked at me and my aunt and was like "do you know this person???" as if to say how dare they sit with us if they don't have an established relationship with us. My dad (SEI) and I were like hey, how are you, join us, etc. (we were at this resort where we go every year and we know a lot, although not all, of the people who attend so it's right and good to be friendly to everyone. not like there are serial killers there or anything). Anyway, I was annoyed with my mother for that. Why can't she just be welcoming and nice to everyone?
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    I don't know your mother's type, but I'd guess EII by this description.

    Anyway I just wanted to say that is not Fi making her react like that. One of the things that is typical for IEEs is that we can talk with anyone immediately. I would never react like your mother. If anything, I'd probably have the rest of my family angry with me for spending all dinner talking with the other person (I'm curious...)
    yeah, she's EII, most likely. But I had been toying around with the idea of IEE. Prolly not tho.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    She could be EII or IEE. Anyway I don't think her behavior had ANYTHING to do with Fi. Unless she hated the person coming. If it was a stranger, a Fi person would feel obliged to try and make a connection, and thus use Fi to ask questions and get to know the person.

    We Fi-people might not be so good at saying all those initial greeting things Fe-people are so great at, but we would probably go deeper and try to really KNOW the person. More so than a Fe-ego person, i suspect.

    However, I love both Fe and Fi, and use them both a lot. They are both warm and welcoming, but on different levels.
    Oh sure, once she knew the person was "okay", she'd ask them questions and get to know them, definitely. But there has to be something she can trust there first I think. Some way (even if it's just someone else she trusts knowing them) for her to feel safe. So it's not Fi. Whatever it is then. But the other EII is the same way. Very skeptical until she feels safe. And if there's anything they deem questionable about the person, they're both stand-offish.

    I'll stop now. Clearly I have issues with these particular EIIs.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    We Fi-people might not be so good at saying all those initial greeting things Fe-people are so great at, but we would probably go deeper and try to really KNOW the person. More so than a Fe-ego person, i suspect.
    I just wanted to...i dunno, try to clarify something about Fe creative at least, not sure about Fe base.

    IxFp also try to get to know...or rather..'understand' the person, only they don't do it via the question/answer route like an ExFp would, but by watching the person, seeing how the person responds to stimuli from the environment, etc. In this way, they too, get to know the individual. ...or rather understand them.

    I don't think it's really fair to say that Fi type would go deeper than an Fe type would. I can actually see how Fe types might think that our question/answer method is superficial. And that their way is actually deeper, since it takes in the dynamics of the person in the situation, etc. While Fi's would be more...staticy, heh.
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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    IxFp also try to get to know...or rather..'understand' the person, only they don't do it via the question/answer route like an ExFp would, but by watching the person, seeing how the person responds to stimuli from the environment, etc. In this way, they too, get to know the individual. ...or rather understand them.
    This is quite an interesting elucidation of creative .
    Hmm... will have to mull this...

    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    I don't think it's really fair to say that Fi type would go deeper than an Fe type would. I can actually see how Fe types might think that our question/answer method is superficial. And that their way is actually deeper, since it takes in the dynamics of the person in the situation, etc. While Fi's would be more...staticy, heh.
    I find with my friend the IEE, he truly *thinks* he knows me based on the Q/A, but really his questions haven't lead to him having a full picture of my motivations and personality. I don't feel he knows me holistically, even though he knows a bunch of details. It's also as though he's made some incomplete judgements about who I am based on those Q/A sessions; like he's got some pieces, but doesn't yet perceive there's an entire picture.

    On the other hand, I've been observing him pretty thoroughly for over a year in a concerted effort to get to know him well. All sorts of situations, analyzing what he's told me, connecting all the threads: subtleties, words, actions, reactions. But I don't know that I ever really understand completely. I know there's a picture, but there's still so many pieces missing that are needed to fill in the details.

    And I always want more pieces...:wink:
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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    IxFp also try to get to know...or rather..'understand' the person, only they don't do it via the question/answer route like an ExFp would, but by watching the person, seeing how the person responds to stimuli from the environment, etc. In this way, they too, get to know the individual. ...or rather understand them.

    I don't think it's really fair to say that Fi type would go deeper than an Fe type would. I can actually see how Fe types might think that our question/answer method is superficial. And that their way is actually deeper, since it takes in the dynamics of the person in the situation, etc. While Fi's would be more...staticy, heh.
    This is interesting... if we're talking about Fi and Fe as in "understanding" the person... then the Fe approach would go something like this:

    Well online, I would ask questions and try to psychoanalyze them, because there's no other information available. That's neither really Fi nor Fe, but more Ti I guess.

    In real life, I wouldn't really ask a lot of questions, unless I really wanted to or had to, but I'd just observe them, and I'd observe their reactions to things. So say if they're eating something... and if they like a certain food, then I'll make a note of that, not really consciously but just casually and think "Ok, so this person likes this food". And if they don't like something and feel disgusted/repulsed, then I'll also make a note of that too and think "Ok, so this person doesn't like this food X". If they're interacting with people, then again I'll make similar observations, like if the person feels comfortable and feels at ease with someone then I'll think, "Ok, so this person gets along with this person" or if they're feeling uneasy, then I'll think, "Ok, so this person doesn't feel comfortable with this person". And on and on... I'll make similar observations based on their reactions, like like/dislike, comfort/discomfort, attraction/repulsion etc.

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    I just wanted to...i dunno, try to clarify something about Fe creative at least, not sure about Fe base.

    IxFp also try to get to know...or rather..'understand' the person, only they don't do it via the question/answer route like an ExFp would, but by watching the person, seeing how the person responds to stimuli from the environment, etc. In this way, they too, get to know the individual. ...or rather understand them.
    .
    This describes me very well.

    In the past I thought this was Fi...
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    I see, but then you don't get the connection? It's more one-way....?


    I don't think it's possible to use Fi alone or Fe alone. I use both. I guess Fe-types use both as well.

    But I get what you mean. I was just being defensive, I guess.
    maybe it depends. with my SEI friend (who is also Fe creative), we got to know each other pretty well from only talking about superficial things. But there was definitely a connection. But it was weird--the unspoken stuff is almost louder than the spoken stuff. Hard to explain. So for us it was completely mutual. But if you were doing that with another type, it wouldn't feel the same I'm sure.

    I do know an EII guy I like very much. He's very healthy and confident and I even like his LSE wife.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    I see, but then you don't get the connection? It's more one-way....?
    i think they already feel connected in a way, well the INFps I've talked with do. Maybe something to do with the Ni? not sure. But I think that when they observe the other person, they are perhaps also empathizing or sympathizing with the person's responses to whatever stimuli is happening.

    In a way, both the Fi method and the Fe method allow us to be able to predict fairly well the person's behaviors elsetime. Kinda like taking two different roads to reach a similar (or mirrored) destination.

    As for one way vs two way connection, if you (general you) think about it, we don't feel the other person's connection to us, we only feel our own connection to them, whether its done via Fi+Ne or Fe+Ni. Both feel/notice the other person's responses to us, which helps us perceive a connection (or lack of) on the other person's side as well as what we perceive on our own side.


    I don't think it's possible to use Fi alone or Fe alone. I use both. I guess Fe-types use both as well.

    But I get what you mean. I was just being defensive, I guess.
    heh, sokay, I totally understand.
    Because of the number of infp I talk with regularly, I often feel a need to help clear up some misunderstandings regarding Fe...even if I, personally, have nontype related issues with Fe.
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    I don't know your mother's type, but I'd guess EII by this description.

    Anyway I just wanted to say that is not Fi making her react like that. One of the things that is typical for IEEs is that we can talk with anyone immediately. I would never react like your mother. If anything, I'd probably have the rest of my family angry with me for spending all dinner talking with the other person (I'm curious...)
    well I wonder what it is then? Just general shyness or something? I mean, I'm shy too and my dad (SEI) is even quieter than she is but we're way more open to new people and don't need that established relationship thing before we can be really friendly and joking around and stuff.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    well I wonder what it is then? Just general shyness or something? I mean, I'm shy too and my dad (SEI) is even quieter than she is but we're way more open to new people and don't need that established relationship thing before we can be really friendly and joking around and stuff.
    plus I know another EII who's the same way. Very reticent around people she doesn't know. I mean, I'm not going to talk someone's ear off, I'm an introvert also but at least I don't give them the skeptical look and write them off if I don't like what they're wearing (that's NOT FAIR to all EIIs but it's totally true of these two).
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    I don't know any EIIs, but I think they are supposed to be extremely warm and welcoming. There is a reason they are called "empaths".
    They're extremely warm and welcoming when they feel SAFE and when they know the people. I think there are some pretty severe insecurities with the ones I know. So they're not a good example I suppose.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    The way I experience Ne is that although I appreciate lots of options and ideas, I immediately follow the ones I like the best through to their probable outcome (I do this internally, in my head) and then I spout out reasons why the idea wouldn't work. Which ends up making me look like a pessimist. But I'm just being realistic based on what I think will most likely happen. So I guess my Ni dampens my Ne (and totally trumps it, obviously).
    I do the EXACT SAME THING. But you have to remember, if the Ne-valuer likes you for whatever reason then sometimes it can be beneficial to listen to them.

    That is, use your Fe to sense if this person can be trustworthy or not, and then listen to their advice depending on that and your Ni. Sometimes a variety of situations will help us more than our own Ni, but we can't help but going with our much stronger Ni, it's just more powerful for us.

    Well sometimes we'll know what works for us and what not, and sometimes they need to 'block out' their Ne and see this, and to stop giving us ideas. So even if they may be giving you lots of options, your Ni will urge them to use their Se to help you make up your mind and to pick a direction already.

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    One cannot look at Ne and Fi in isolation because input and output interact to give very different characteristics as with INFj versus ENFp. INFps are more likely to have better communication and some common goals with ENFps. Both types are in the bottom half as far as potential for forming a strong relationship with an INFp; however, I've observed all three types on friendly terms with one another but none seem to socialize outside of a work environment.

    a.k.a. I/O

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