k, social convention. by that i take it you mean those unwritten social rules. mostly i'm oblivious to them. i was a teenager before i realised that everyone seemed to have picked them up growing up and i seem to have totally missed it. then i decided i didn't care - since it's superficial and ungenuine, and i despise things that are superficial and ungenuine. or at the very least, consider it a waste of my energy and effort.

however, maturing i realise i am very much a minority, and that these trivialities seem awfully important to other people. one can be fair to people and they don't appreciate it, but if you ignore their conventions they hold grudges for a very long time. and i also realised that it's hard to get them to do what i want if they are not positively disposed towards me. so, with great reluctance, i am trying to learn it. i can't seem to 'pick it up' - i tried. doesn't quite work. i have to mean it, and i can't seem to do things that i know are fake. so i took a different tack. i'm now trying to systematically learn social convention, specifically to use as a mask when i need it. this is working better, although i'm still mostly clueless about many social conventions.

was that the sort of sharing you wanted?