I think this is not just ILE, it's Apha in general (Betas too but in a different way). My SEI gf argues in the same fashion. Imo, it's Fe based, it's about taking care of each other emotionally, as opposed to Gammas, who take care of each other economically. Betas are dependent on others for both emotional and economic support.
In the case of ILEs, there might be some sense of fear of abandonment involved, although not of pathological proportions. Would that make sense in your husbands case?


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-role to me, being concerned with being a good guy. i'm not entirely sure i understand how ENTp ethics work either. but it comes off as a sort of naivety regarding 