Questions for EIEs-ENFjs about leading Fe function

[Ezra]

From my perspective:

1. Is it likely that someone would describe an EIE/Fe-leading type to be someone who 'wouldn't cry, even though I've made you this beautiful, moving and sentimental CD' and who 'doesn't really seem all that emotional'?

Depends what you mean by "emotional", and on who the EIE is. Would you call David Cameron "emotional"? Bono? Mena Suvari in American Beauty? Freud? Oprah Winfrey?

2. Is it likely that an EIE/Fe-leading type would retreat somewhere private when feeling upset, angry or down because they are uncomfortable with displaying these emotions in public?

Probably not.

3. Would an EIE/Fe-leading type, when being berated or told off by someone, not necessarily a superior, remain expressionless and stone-faced throughout the tirade; becoming absolutely frozen, then turning and attempting to place as much distance between themselves and that person? And only, when a period of time has passed, be capable to expressing that anger, usually to sympathetic parties?

Unlikely. This sounds like a person with weak Fe (and thus Fi). However, if the EIE realised that remaining expressionless was necessary to achieving their goals, then I'm pretty sure they could use their Fe-related skills to do this.

4. Would an EIE/Fe-leading type display their negative emotions, or are they more likely to hold these in, particularly by minimising their facial expressions, in remaining civil?

Again, the above applies in terms of the EIE applying their skills. However, the EIE is more likely to use expressionlessness as civility than they are to remain stone-faced because they would rather not reveal their emotions publicly.

5. Is an EIE/Fe-leading type likely to hold back their criticisms of someone they find incompetent when that person turns to them for sympathy and try to both reassure them whilst expressing their concerns diplomatically, though they do not necessarily like this person?

Absolutely. This is pretty characteristic of Fe ego types, if I'm not mistaken.

FTR, if you were IEI, that would make life even better. It would explain why I am attracted to your character, unefille.

[Ezra]

Actually I had considered IEI for her as well, but she does seem to be more 3 than 4, which generally points to EIE>IEI.

Let's leave the Enneagram out for a while. (FTR, I'm becoming less interested in it as of late, which is why I seem less tolerant. I feel as if I've learned most if not all of what is interesting to learn. I've also discovered that people don't seem to apply it in the way it's s'posed to be applied.)

i read snegledmaca's post in the IEE thread and i type the way he said, in relation to other people i know or know of. you remind me tons of esper. IF she is IEI, then that's why i say IEI. and there is a possibility in my mind she is LSI, a lot of Ti going on. calm Ti, not like strrrng's jaunt of "being" LSI. you are calm about your Ti like her. i believe you and her are the same type, whatever that is.

esper is IEI. What is the Ti you believe you're seeing?

But wouldn't an IEI, who has Ni as their base function and Fe as their creative function, feel the greater need to express their Ni via their Fe, rather than holding it back?

Yes, but what you're talking about is nothing to do with expression of Ni via Fe. You're talking about how people (probably you, if I'm not mistaken) act when under fire from others. In fact, if I didn't know better, I'd say your seeming preoccupation with argument and how people act negatively towards you is indicative of a combat-ready type.

[dbmmama]

I think it is important to note that the observation of patterns in events over time, once dwelt upon, can lead to assumptions about correlations between data. Thus, an IEI talks about theory. You are seeing observed -> speculated .

yes, what she said.

[unefille]

Hmm, if I'm Beta, then in past I've mislabeled a lot of my behaviour (possibly due to the myth of 'Fake Fe') so I'm just to going to write down some things I do/have done.

1. I'm not comfortable with expressing how I feel about someone if I feel like I'm being emotionally manipulated into it. If someone says: 'I really like you'; 'I love you'; 'You're one of my closest friends' and I can't reciprocate the sentiment, I will usually just smile and say something neutral but complimentary, or make a wisecrack in response. My 'lukewarm' responses have often resulted in problems maintaining female friends as I was growing up, because they felt I was holding them at an emotional arms-length.

2. Its common practice amongst the people I know now to kiss each other in greeting. This isn't a practice that I was familiar with until I started university and I at first I found it very affected. I don't mind it now, but I often won't initiate a greeting kiss until something internal changes and I feel there is a relationship between us. This has, on occassion, led to situations where people position themselves near me for a kiss, and instead I simply open conversation, leaving them slightly lost. However, if they initiate, I will respond warmly, always.

3. One of my closest friends went to Europe for the summer. We arranged to go to the Art Gallery when she got back. Upon seeing me, she opened her arms wide and tried to engulf me in a happy hug. I didn't feel like it, so I side-stepped her, slipped my arm through hers and said: 'It's too warm to hug', which made her laugh, at least.

4. My default mode is to be civil, welcoming and conciliatory. However, on occasion, if I think it's 'appropriate', I will make an 'inappropriate' comment that's rude or snappy or sharp, just to shift the gears of the discussion. I teach casually and my method often shocks people, because it usually involves teasing or mocking the students, writing sarcastic comments on their papers, interspersed with running commentary on what I think as I'm reading their writing. A lot of other teachers/tutors are just warm and accepting - but I think students are so placid about making mistakes that you need to grab their attention. I can be sharp and critical where I think it's warranted and then change back to warm when I think they've heard the message. I always thought the warm, diplomatic, 'everything you do is great' teachers were Fe-valuing - now I'm definitely reassessing.

[consentingadult]

@unefille: most of what you are describing does not conflict with being IEE, I think. I think it's strange that you question your former type by comparing it to EIE. If you would have considered ILE or something from the Delta quadra, that would have made more sense.

I have a question for you: your questions so far evolve around social interaction. What is it you do when you spend a significant amount of time alone?

[idolatrie]

Unlikely. This sounds like a person with weak Fe (and thus Fi). However, if the EIE realised that remaining expressionless was necessary to achieving their goals, then I'm pretty sure they could use their Fe-related skills to do this.

From my perspective (as a friend, not making assumptions on my type or my knowledge of functions), she becomes expressionless and closed off as a defensive mechanism, definitely not as a strategic move. You can pretty much feel her pulling back into herself, but that she's still rapidly processing what's going on. At that point, I feel she cares less about what the other person is thinking/feeling, and more about dealing with her own response. But this is also contingent upon the social context.

Also, she doesn't respond much to excessive emotional displays. I've noticed that the more someone, particularly guys, pursue her, the more she gets turned off. By excessive emotional displays, I mean calling her frequently, emailing her regularly - sometimes using flimsy excuses to do so, wanting to meet up. I thin part of her annoyance was in the other party not defining what their relationship was, but trying to date her by 'stealth' if you will.

On the other hand, when we have different opinions on a topic, we will pretty much automatically start discussing it in an often fierce manner. And it's never a personal attack on each other, nor do we get emotionally involved. But a few times, after such an 'argument', I've had people who saw it ask 'is everything alright?' or try to calm us down. Which surprises me, because well, we were just having a discussion? And weren't upset/not calm? I have no idea what that means though.

[unefille]

I thin part of her annoyance was in the other party not defining what their relationship was, but trying to date her by 'stealth' if you will.

Yes, the 'stealth dating' tactics. What is up with that? I feel like I'm being tricked into something - like there's a trap awaiting me and when I realise, it'll be too late and I'll be stuck, not wanting to hurt them, but wanting out. Say no to 'dating by stealth'.

[unefille]

On the other hand, when we have different opinions on a topic, we will pretty much automatically start discussing it in an often fierce manner. And it's never a personal attack on each other, nor do we get emotionally involved. But a few times, after such an 'argument', I've had people who saw it ask 'is everything alright?' or try to calm us down. Which surprises me, because well, we were just having a discussion? And weren't upset/not calm? I have no idea what that means though.

[I feel like maybe this should be in 'what's my type' now, since it's branched off a bit, but...]

YES. We get into no-holds barred, heated discussions that seem to scare the people around us. The truth is, we would never turn that style of discussion onto them unless we thought they could handle it, so there is really nothing to fear from us. If I have a point to prove, I will do everything, including drawing diagrams and using the most bizarre analogies to make the point. We get very...energetic in these debates.

Hahaha, I can get quite carried away sometimes when arguing/debating. I remember once I was 10 and my mother's friend, a high school Lit teacher gave me Robinson Crusoe to read. We had a really heated discussion after (I can't remember what I said - probably many stupid things: I was 10 after all), but I got really impatient at one point and said: 'LOOK. SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!' Ha, that shocked my mother quite a bit. Her friend didn't seem to mind - I think he found me sort of precocious.