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    Default VI my friend?

    http://s255.photobucket.com/albums/hh149/tiny_dancer79/

    I'm kinda curious about this friend of mine. What type do you think she is? She hasn't been in my town for..eek..3 years...so I'm not sure how much I'll remember that is consequential socionics-wise... but I'll give it a shot.

    She loves debating law and politics. She never did this around me, though, since I don't know anything about either So I can't say much about her arguing style... She listened to speakers on both sides, though, moderate through extreme. Sometimes I'd wonder - how can she listen to this guy? She's a lawyer now, specializing in international law.

    Her S.O. is an EIE. One long-standing point of friction is the fact that he's told her he needs more verbal affirmation and encouragement in general. Her response to that is, "I just can't do that. That's not me." I don't think I've seen her get emotional about anything, except where he's concerned. They seem comfortable with each other... although very independent of each other too.

    Her description of how they started is that he is not what she previously went for. She broke up with a complete nut job and started dating him and he grew on her. She is of the opinion that you can 'grow' to love someone. (Whereas mine would be that there are some people who don't go together no matter how long you're with them) She also discounts her ESE friend's necessity for 'chemistry' - a 'click' - doesn't think that's important in the beginning.

    Work - she's pretty reliable. I think she was given a lot of responsibility for someone her age.

    She will stand her ground if someone is trying to give her the short end of the deal. One instance in particular makes me laugh - she sold her car, and a foreign person from a 'haggling' country offered to pay the asking price for it. He arrived and told her he'd pay significantly less. She argued with him for 30 minutes until he gave her full price. She threw in her box of car care supplies as a bonus.

    Overall I'd say she is sociable, but she doesn't do a great deal of initiating. Kind of similar to myself, I guess.

    If I can think of anything else I'll add it... I'm kind of wondering if she's LSE and I was totally clueless as to what one of those looks like...

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    I don't know about the pic, but from the description I'd say she sounds more LIE than LSE. Most likely logical and probably rational, in any case. ESI is also possible. She doesn't sound Ne creative or Ti dominant.

    So yeah, LIE, most likely. I also think she needs to get out of that relationship. I can relate to the stuff she's saying (from past experiences), but it's apparent that she's unhappy and trying to justify staying in the relationship.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ifmd95 View Post
    Big talk for so little info, and not even solicited.
    She's essentially saying that you don't have to like someone in order to love him/her. The whole "I can make it work" concept is for people who aren't compatible with their partner.

    But I don't expect that we'll agree on this no matter how many pages we invest into the discussion, so I won't try to convince you.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    She's essentially saying that you don't have to like someone in order to love him/her. The whole "I can make it work" concept is for people who aren't compatible with their partner.

    But I don't expect that we'll agree on this no matter how many pages we invest into the discussion, so I won't try to convince you.
    I read it as her not feeling sparks right off the start, but knowing that with familiarity comes feeling.

    Just a wild guess - ESI.
    SLI/ISTp -- Te subtype

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    Quote Originally Posted by force my hand View Post
    I read it as her not feeling sparks right off the start, but knowing that with familiarity comes feeling.
    I do agree with that, in a way. Excitement isn't what I look for in a relationship. To me it didn't quite sound like what you're describing though, but I could be wrong.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    I do agree with that, in a way. Excitement isn't what I look for in a relationship. To me it didn't quite sound like what you're describing though, but I could be wrong.
    Not to get TOO carried away with analysis, but I guess when I consider the phrasing used in combination with the comment that she is very independent, I tend to think of it in more positive, moderate, mature terms instead of the more negative character of, "well, I need X from the person, so even though I don't feel this NOW, eventually I will" (which I find not dispicable, but pretty close).
    SLI/ISTp -- Te subtype

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    Quote Originally Posted by ifmd95 View Post
    As far as additional typings go, ESI isn't an implausible VI either. But I would think an ESI would be more confident in some sort of affirmation, even if not the Fe ego kind (which isn't the kind an EIE expects from an LSI anyway.)

    Also, it's my understanding that ESI ethical judgements can be quite emotionally-charged, but the OP doesn't seem to have observed anything like that.
    All of that is certainly a sore point for an ESI, but I'm wondering if Gamma Fi (or in general) might be be tempted to set a boundary for interaction, and then be steadfast in making sure it doesn't change. In other words, she felt from the start this is how the relationship 'should' or would be, and that any attempt to change it is summarily rejected on that ethical principle.
    SLI/ISTp -- Te subtype

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    ESI's do have Fe for their ignoring function.

    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    7th: You're good enough at this to know how to avoid giving it any more attention than is absolutely necessary. If people tell you that you should give it more attention, you often confidently tell them that they're wrong (or just ignore them).
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    Quote Originally Posted by ifmd95 View Post
    Right, but the emotionality a Ti-base seeks is seperate from the affirmative words a Te-base seeks.

    But granted again, I don't know precisely what "affirmation" an EIE would want. One possibility is that they want it to happen in response to their Fe, which an ESI might not be in sync with.
    That had crossed my mind. I had also wondered whether the EIE is EIE (not that I doubt tiny dancer's typing skills... I'm just pointing out that there's no way to know for sure).
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