Dual relations

[dinki]

Are frustrating and confusing, when they are not meant to be.

What are your experiences with your dual(s)?

Have you ever been in a relationship with one?

Do you mind sharing ?

[calenwen]

Well, I think you just read my thread, but basically I was in a relationship with my dual for a year. We got along really well, and the things that frustrated me in the relationship were all really minor. The reason we broke up is because our values were different and I couldn't handle the internal conflict that it caused me.

I met another dual a few weeks ago and we just kind of ... flow. He also makes me feel good about myself. >.<

[xyz]

Just have 1 dual friend. She's cool. We hang out whenever we can.

[Blaze]

i don't have a dual in my life i really wonder what it would be like!

but i'm getting really really hip to diagnosing people these days and i'm in a place of wanting to make a lot of new friends so who knows.

[dinki]

Well, I think you just read my thread, but basically I was in a relationship with my dual for a year. We got along really well, and the things that frustrated me in the relationship were all really minor. The reason we broke up is because our values were different and I couldn't handle the internal conflict that it caused me.

I met another dual a few weeks ago and we just kind of ... flow. He also makes me feel good about myself. >.<

Yeah, I left a comment .

Why the internal conflict, because of different values?

[dinki]

i don't have a dual in my life i really wonder what it would be like!

but i'm getting really really hip to diagnosing people these days and i'm in a place of wanting to make a lot of new friends so who knows.

Lol, diagnosing .

You have never even met one?

[calenwen]

Yeah, I left a comment .

Why the internal conflict, because of different values?

Yeah... It's hard to explain, but it just felt wrong somehow to be with someone who disagreed with me so drastically on all of the issues/beliefs that were important to me.

[Blaze]

Lol, diagnosing .

You have never even met one?

i have...but mostly they have been other women.

[tiny_dancer]

My relationship was frustrating, but it was primarily maturity issues on his part. As for friends and coworkers, we get along great.

[BurntOrange]

Well, I certainly find that the same issues of values and interests come up with duals as any other type, but overall I'm fairly certain that I get along with my duals better than other types. The big thing to realize is just that duality doesn't automatically equal soul mate or best friend. I know a lot of SEIs and the degree to which we get on varies immensely from individual to individual.

[zenbrat]

My sons are duals (ENFp and ISTp). They can be really "on" or really trashing each other. It's the same way with me and my dual - it's hell or bliss.

I don't think duality minimizes conflict. I think it just reduces the mean time for repair of the relationship once conflict hits.

[Blaze]

Well, I certainly find that the same issues of values and interests come up with duals as any other type, but overall I'm fairly certain that I get along with my duals better than other types. The big thing to realize is just that duality doesn't automatically equal soul mate or best friend. I know a lot of SEIs and the degree to which we get on varies immensely from individual to individual.

well said. and i think that other, non-dual relationships can work well for the exact same reasons....

[Shazaam]

The big thing to realize is just that duality doesn't automatically equal soul mate or best friend.

Of course not. In my experiences, Best friend is more activity. Soulmate is more identical. Socionics dual is more about liking somebody well enough but also using the appropriate functions in society to serve a greater good; to accomplish something greater than your own feelings and viewpoints. You can like a person very much but it's a little more important than that. It goes hand in hand, I mean I can't imagine somebody hating their dual because they're so psychologically fitting, but there are a lot of other non-socionics factors.

What if you met your psychological dual, but for example, they were from a different culture (had different moral views than you), spoke a different language and seemed kind of smelly? You would silently respect one another but I don't see any magic happening. When duals play out right under other factors as well, it is pretty sweet though. A homophobic ESTp muslim terrorist wouldn't exactly make my heart flutter.

But remember that certain types will naturally be generally/usually be drawn to certain morals/belief system based on how the functions play off of one another; so I think socionics is pretty powerful still. The more pro-gay sentiments of Beta compared to the less accepting ones in Gamma is a prime example of this. Even before I came on this forum this was pretty evident. Isn't Delta supposed to be my conflicting quadra though or something? But see I'm so strong about that one issue so it's getting in the way haha. Wow it's weird how everything interacts with each other. I love it though it's like putting two things in a stage and watching what they'll do/say.

[Shazaam]

My sons are duals (ENFp and ISTp). They can be really "on" or really trashing each other. It's the same way with me and my dual - it's hell or bliss.

I believe your wording here is misleading. Duals mostly playfully tease each other, and that's probably what you're seeing. Outright trashing somebody/degrading them for real and the next minute loving each other and feeling overly relieved/too happy that you're getting along now is basic Conflicting behavior. Plus they're brothers so they'd do this anyway even if they are duals, but if they do it too much with their make-up moments not seeming to lead anywhere; they'd be Conflicting. I'd imagine a conflicting sibling relationship would be nightmare depending on the ages.

And I just disagree about 'hell or bliss.' That makes no sense to me and cannot be applied in the here-and-now physical reality at all. =/ Yeah uhhh can you give more concrete, real-world examples of how the functions play off from a socionics point of view? What you're seeing might be personal quirks of your sons that have nothing to do with socionics.

[Slacker]

Are frustrating and confusing, when they are not meant to be.

What are your experiences with your dual(s)?

Have you ever been in a relationship with one?

Do you mind sharing ?

My husband (of 10 years) and I are duals. Our relationship is very easy. We don't really fight. We'll tease each other, and we'll disagree for a minute or two while we work something out, but we don't have actual fights. I didn't know anything about Socionics when I met him. I just felt very comfortable with him and trusted him, although I didn't think about him in a romantic way immediately. He went back home (he was just visiting here when I met him) and I found I really missed him, and we kept in touch and he came back a few times and finally came back for good.

[jewels]

My husband (of 10 years) and I are duals. Our relationship is very easy. We don't really fight. We'll tease each other, and we'll disagree for a minute or two while we work something out, but we don't have actual fights. I didn't know anything about Socionics when I met him. I just felt very comfortable with him and trusted him, although I didn't think about him in a romantic way immediately. He went back home (he was just visiting here when I met him) and I found I really missed him, and we kept in touch and he came back a few times and finally came back for good.

aww! This is so nice. I love stories like this as they give me hope, lol!

[xyz]

aww! This is so nice. I love stories like this as they give me hope, lol!

me too.