Childlike/Caring Romancing Style: What's your take?

[Rubicon]

It seems like there's a bit of difference of opinion when it comes to defining what it is to be a caregiver and infantile. (c: So - if you belong to one of these groups, could you give us an idea of what your romance style means to you - in your own words? Dolphin - try to keep your horns in. :-P

[xyz]

Generally I see a lot more lighthearted playfullness between the two. Very generally.

[Rubicon]

Generally I see a lot more lighthearted playfullness between the two. Very generally.

that's very general

[Rubicon]

Infantiles have an unconscious psychological need to be back in the womb. That's why they're attracted to older women if men, and younger men if they're women (since the younger men remind them of babies).

Infantile-caregiver relationships are characterized by the intense exchange of fluids throughout the day in order to mimic conditions in the placenta.

There's a need to "dissolve" into one another. ie. by becoming a single organism.

It's the caregivers job to try to satisfy the infantile with food and other ammenities or he may starve or soil himself unwillingly.

uhh ... yeah DOOOOOOOOLPHIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!

[Blaze]

wow this is so hard to explain. i'm not sure the concepts of the erotic attitudes are really all that well worked out and the labels applied to them suck wind. infantile. like who's gonna cop to that?

basically i think that caregivers and infantiles are less extreme versions of aggressors and victims. like, sexually, i think caregivers and infantiles would prefer a slightly less er energetic approach to sex; like they would like it just a little bit slower and kind of more specific touching or something.

like victim-aggressors: they'd do "full on butt fucking" and caregiver-infantiles would kinda let the receiver be in charge of that or something. to use a really graphic example. but hey we're really talking about sex though.

[xyz]

that's very general

well duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I guess I just don't get hung up on the infantile/victim descriptions.

basically i think that caregivers and infantiles are less extreme versions of aggressors and victims. like, sexually, i think caregivers and infantiles would prefer a slightly less er energetic approach to sex; like they would like it just a little bit slower and kind of more specific touching or something.

like victim-aggressors: they'd do "full on butt fucking" and caregiver-infantiles would kinda let the receiver be in charge of that or something. to use a really graphic example. but hey we're really talking about sex though.

What she said.

[Rubicon]

Various items that the wise caregiver keeps in stock at all times:

[Park]

^ LOL

[Logos]

oh stfu. lol. I don't even want to look at this thread. It'll probably make me want to throw things.

Usually it stems from the (frighteningly all too frequent) misconception that somehow -types cannot wipe their own asses and that -types enjoy wiping the asses of other people.

[Blaze]

Usually it stems from the (frighteningly all too frequent) misconception that somehow -types cannot wipe their own asses and that -types enjoy wiping the asses of other people.

i thought we banished the ass-wiping bogeyman?!?!

[Park]

Usually it stems from the (frighteningly all too frequent) misconception that somehow -types cannot wipe their own asses and that -types enjoy wiping the asses of other people.

What is "it"? What Dolphin said? (sorry, but I don't see the connection between what you said and what you quoted)

[Logos]

What is "it"? What Dolphin said? (sorry, but I don't see the connection between what you said and what you quoted)

It = misconceptions, problems, anger and frustration with infantile/caregiver threads, etc. "It" was used as a vague catch-all word in this context.

[Park]

It = misconceptions, problems, anger and frustration with infantile/caregiver threads, etc. "It" was used as a vague catch-all word in this context.

Ok, I see now.

[Suomea]

...

[thePirate]

wow.

[kensi]

It seems like there's a bit of difference of opinion when it comes to defining what it is to be a caregiver and infantile. (c: So - if you belong to one of these groups, could you give us an idea of what your romance style means to you - in your own words? Dolphin - try to keep your horns in. :-P

I am both a caregiver and an infantile....how do i seperate one from the other and establish such an identity all on its own?

[Mariano Rajoy]

The sexual attitudes infantile/care-giver are no more nor no less accurate than the functions.

Don't make things harder than they are. Infantile LII expects his/her partner to foster a harmonious atmosphere while the care-giver ESE expects appreciation and need for creating a harmonious atmosphere.

It may help to think of functional duality simultaneously with the sexual attitudes. Ti is about order and Fe is about harmony. The TiNe/FeSi pair value the relationship being at ease. For TiNe the partner must make sense, and if the relationship is strong then negative behavior has no place. Arguing and confrontation with a loved one is illogical; how can you love someone you yell at? For FeSi the partner must bahave in a manner that is loving and well meaning. Again, negative and confrontational behavior is unpleasant. The FeSi needs a sense of harmony and cohesion and is very upset when it is disrupted. How the partner behaves is an indication of how the partner feels, so by giving care (i.e. cupcakes) the FeSi is fostering the relationship by providing an atmosphere for lovely behavior.

FeSi gives care in many ways besides making cupcakes though. I like cupcakes so I used it as an example.

[Christy B]

This probably means you poop in your diaper, then wipe your own ass. Congralulations, you Socionics multi-tasker, you. You've successfully eliminated (note the emphasis on the word eliminated) the need for your dual. You can now live a reasonable psychologically stable life. You'll have your problems, but as soon as the hand reaches to pull out those wipies, you'll know you've made the right decision. Give yourself a pat on the buttcheek.

omg you kill me hahaha

[Sirena]

This probably means you poop in your diaper, then wipe your own ass. Congralulations, you Socionics multi-tasker, you. You've successfully eliminated (note the emphasis on the word eliminated) the need for your dual. You can now live a reasonable psychologically stable life. You'll have your problems, but as soon as the hand reaches to pull out those wipies, you'll know you've made the right decision. Give yourself a pat on the buttcheek.

[Logos]

This probably means you poop in your diaper, then wipe your own ass. Congralulations, you Socionics multi-tasker, you. You've successfully eliminated (note the emphasis on the word eliminated) the need for your dual. You can now live a reasonable psychologically stable life. You'll have your problems, but as soon as the hand reaches to pull out those wipies, you'll know you've made the right decision. Give yourself a pat on the buttcheek.

Just make sure you clean your bottom before giving yourself a pat.

[Shazaam]

Carla: No matter how independent you are, you're still an infantile if you are an INTj. You cannot escape it, people can sense this about you even if you try to hide it. Yes, a lot of types are going to view it as a weakness. And that puke was disgusting, an ESFj man will be there to wipe it up shortly. Richard Simmons here he comes.

Also I love Blaze's description of how infantiles/caregivers are just less intense aggressors/victims. I agree with this. I like tender shit too, and babying- but it has to be mixed with dramatic physical forceness.

However ... the person who said that infantile men are attracted to older women is just wrong lol. It's a psychological thing not an exact chronological age.

[Rubicon]

And that puke was disgusting, an ESFj man will be there to wipe it up shortly. Richard Simmons here he comes.

I hope he arrives soon, because these things are multiplying as we speak.

[Rubicon]

Someone show me where the toilet is, quickly! I feel sick.

http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...ad.php?t=17656

[BurntOrange]

Infantiles have an unconscious psychological need to be back in the womb. That's why they're attracted to older women if men, and younger men if they're women (since the younger men remind them of babies).

Infantile-caregiver relationships are characterized by the intense exchange of fluids throughout the day in order to mimic conditions in the placenta.

There's a need to "dissolve" into one another. ie. by becoming a single organism.

It's the caregivers job to try to satisfy the infantile with food and other ammenities or he may starve or soil himself unwillingly.

damn it, I actually relate to the result of most of these even if not the causes =p I'm about 50/50 for younger/older, which seems like it should be exactly right but is a lot higher than most people. Then check check for 2 and 3. #4 is bullshit though. My SEI tennis buddy forgets to bring water so frequently when we play, and I almost always have tons of that shit and have to give him some haha. That was the only example I could think of but whatever.

Various items that the wise caregiver keeps in stock at all times:

LOL

God, I almost had this girl puke on me tonight. It was a close call, but I saw it coming and started backpedaling so fast haha

*Have you seen my new toilet? It comes with a fully automatic ass-viper ensuring your butt is completely clean after a visit. Your hands will stay bacterial free and your children will no longer need your help.*

That's a well trained viper.

Anyway, this thread is hard to answer. I only know about being infantile, so I can't really compare it to relationships as a different type haha. I sort of feel like caretaking mostly applies emotionally for me, but that might be just Si with Fe, not just caretaker/infantile in general. I certainly don't relate to being helplessly unable to take care of myself in any way possible, even though I am a youngest child and ILE (omg double whammy).

[mikemex]

Caregivers see others through the Si perspective. For example, I cut my hand rather bad yesterday working in my shop. When I went to see my SEI friend, she freaked out about my injury and immediately ran for the medical kit to heal it. She thought it must be very painful and her first reaction was to stop it. She didn't know I wasn't feeling any pain at all.

So caregivers provide "care" just because they project their sensitivity upon others.

[Khola aka Bee]

How has baby oil not yet been mentioned?!?!?!

[Khola aka Bee]

Also Mikemex: I absolutely agree with projecting sensing onto others. Even reading your post caused a mental pain reaction as if I had cut my own hand....Not actual physical pain, but all of the emotional response that comes with it...hard to explain, but yes.

I would've responded in the same manner. In situations like this, I find I can be really logical and fast-acting as well, where I'd usually just be completely useless.....any ideas on this?

[Rubicon]

I would've responded in the same manner. In situations like this, I find I can be really logical and fast-acting as well, where I'd usually just be completely useless.....any ideas on this?

Yeah, me too. I would think it's because SEIs have strong unconscious Se ... which is probably more apparent in emergency situations where there is not much time for thinking and a need for fast and deliberate action.

[Rubicon]

You guys are different to me. I freeze up.

I can quickly think of a strategy to apply to an emergency situation and I'm not phased by the sight of blood, but when I actually have to appeal directly to my senses like that, I'm hopeless.

I like people tending to my injuries. So I'm a big baby afterall.

It's funny, because I'm bothered by the sight of blood, but only when no action is required on my part. Like if I'm having a blood test - I know it's all under control, so I'm free to feel like fainting. lol But if anything serious happens, the blood doesn't bother me, and I do what I have to do with no qualms about it. Then when it's all over, I feel like fainting.

[Khola aka Bee]

Haha ditto Jem! lol.

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[kensi]

This probably means you poop in your diaper, then wipe your own ass. Congralulations, you Socionics multi-tasker, you. You've successfully eliminated (note the emphasis on the word eliminated) the need for your dual. You can now live a reasonable psychologically stable life. You'll have your problems, but as soon as the hand reaches to pull out those wipies, you'll know you've made the right decision. Give yourself a pat on the buttcheek.

you are more of a moron than i originally thought.

[Shazaam]

For example, I cut my hand rather bad yesterday working in my shop. When I went to see my SEI friend, she freaked out about my injury and immediately ran for the medical kit to heal it.

Or it simply looked worse than it really was... sometimes that happens. And conversely sometimes you can have an ingrown fingernail in the most sensitive of spots that doesn't look like it hurts much at all but it's driving you INSANE because it's all protruding and tangling where you have a bunch of nerves. When I got knocked out with a horseshoe once there wasn't much pain either when I went unconscious. Funny how somethings work.

Sounds like that is actually weak sensing or just kind of not realizing what parts of the hand are sensitive and the like. If you cut your hand 'really bad' but you avoided hitting any weak areas... how would she know anyway? I think we all read too much into things here haha *guilty of this myself*

I agree from a simple, MBTI dichotomy though sensors are much more likely to notice that sort of thing and run immediately to your aid. I know better than to get involved usually; specifically based on what you just told me.

[Rubicon]

You see right through my facade

or maybe Kensi's the moron

[jewels]

with two infantiles, I think it could feel like a battle of who gets to put their head on whose shoulder. Because both want to be the person putting leaning on someone else, not the "strong" person caring for the other.

[BurntOrange]

I think we're all morons sometimes. I often cringe when I see something going over someone's head, then I have to stop and wonder if things have been going over my head and I've just been completely missing them, and THEN I have to wonder if maybe the response I thought was going completely over that person's head actually went completely over my head, because sometimes I make replies and I have to stop and wonder if most people are going to understand what I mean/get my joke, or if they're just going to think that I'm stupid and it was going over my head, haha. Of course, in this case I just think it might be him being a dick more than anything... I guess that I'm guilty of that on occasion too.

not at all. if you're infantile you use to put your legs over your partner in bed before falling asleep. if she/he's caregiver won't have any problem with that. if is infantile, prepare for a fight .

with two infantiles, I think it could feel like a battle of who gets to put their head on whose shoulder. Because both want to be the person putting leaning on someone else, not the "strong" person caring for the other.

ah, yes. Crushing caregivers under my 6'5" 210 pound frame is unquestionably a personal hobby of mine. Maybe I need to start dating WNBA centers in order to be a proper infantile type

[Lotus]

or maybe Kensi's the moron

This is the case.

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[Christy B]

does diarrhea come shooting out your ear when you scratch it? my god.

your written word does not match your actual voice, which makes this (and really most of your posts here) all the funnier

[Brilliand]

Here's something I thought up a while back:
snatches power. seems to wind up with the power, but isn't overt about it. Therefore deliberately puts the in charge. Therefore the static type controls the balance of power in the relationship, whereas the sensing type winds up in charge. From that:

Infantile-infantile: Power struggle (in reverse)
Victim-Victim: No result
Aggressor-Aggressor: Power struggle (the normal kind)
Caregiver-Caregiver: No result
Infantile-Victim: Victim winds up in charge, doesn't like it
Infantile-Aggressor: Aggressor winds up in charge, but there is a battle over how quickly
Infantile-Caregiver: Infantile puts Caregiver in charge
Victim-Aggressor: Aggressor takes charge
Victim-Caregiver: No result
Aggressor-Caregiver: Aggressor winds up in charge, caregiver doesn't like it

Combining that with other things I've read, the four dichotomy sides that give power in a relationship are Static, Sensing, Feeling and Extraversion. Only the SEE has all four of these qualities, and therefore has all the power in a dual relationship.