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Last edited by calenwen; 07-26-2008 at 03:17 PM.
Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.
John Muir
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Last edited by calenwen; 01-04-2009 at 03:57 AM.
Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.
John Muir
Are dual relations not meant to be the most intense? I thought they weren't meant to be boring and that was the whole point, or a large chuck of the point.
What was boring about it last time?
If you think that it will be boring then why does it matter that you met?
I've been told many times it's a little boring when you first start out, especially if you use any of those stupid chick flicks as any sort of normalcy meter. Over time though, you'll never get to miss any type as much as your dual.
"Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."
- Voltaire
I think they're just supposed to be the easiest and/or most comfortable.
Whatever you do, don't let socionics dictate your decision. If you're going to cheat, might as well tell your bf you're gonna bang other guys. Sneaking around and doing things behind his back that would cause him pain and embarassment is just cruel and unecessary.
Good luck with your 'situation.'
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Last edited by calenwen; 01-04-2009 at 03:58 AM.
Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.
John Muir
Wait things are supposed to be difficult? Aye man. Yeah sometimes. Life has its share of challenges but above all else, you make some good choices and life is pretty fun and cool actually.
Just keep swimming and keep your head in the game. =) The hardest thing in this world, is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me.
Also if life turns to shit, do I want a equal partner or somebody that won't understand me and fuck me over? There's already enough people that are opposite/anti-me out in the world, if I'm in a relationship we're going to be more equal. Duh.
I almost got killed because I thought like you. I'm serious. ??? Your ideas need to be challenged there buddy.
Yeah I'm going to make life more stressful for myself and court somebody that I wouldn't stand a chance against just to make it more challenging. I'm gonna pick up some roughneck biker dude that killed a few people before. Tee hee, opposites attract. Even though I can't stand his smell and he's scaring me a little. And I'm not really sexually attracted to him either, and his armpit smell is really starting to bother me. But this is what I need! He's the yang to my yin. Without him, I supposedly wouldn't exist (even though I was doing just fine before.)
Nope. Sameness all the way!!!
(this doesn't mean I want a clone of me btw. If I'm striving for a relationship, I'd automatically accept differences. But still, come on now. You have to be with somebody that fucking understands you.)
I actually have the balls to challenge my ideas, and fight The First Evil. Do you?
And okay maybe I do want a clone. Because I and I alone have brought me to my greatest orgasm. So how do you explain that??? Ooh yes safety and comfort in a naturally harsh world is such a big bad thing. Are you spoiled or something?
Well that's not totally true. I actually had the greatest orgasm having cyber sex, as weird as that is... so technically another person was involved. (I've had my share of real life experiences too so don't get me started on that 'you're just a nerd' speech.) But yeah man he was so different than me! He like, didn't totally share all my interests. (Only he did.)
So I guess all that stuff with your boyfriend worked out? That's a rock and a hard place.![]()
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Last edited by calenwen; 01-04-2009 at 03:57 AM.
Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.
John Muir
dual relationships are meant to be comfortable, however this does not take into factor of the following which is much more important in terms of relationship compatibility.
Relationship Compatibility:
1. Similar backgrounds
2. Complementary physical appearance of the two
3. Similar outlook in life
Removed at User Request
well....let's see what happens....lol.
glad you and infp got on a page though![]()
ILE
those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often
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Last edited by calenwen; 01-04-2009 at 03:57 AM.
Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.
John Muir
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Last edited by calenwen; 01-04-2009 at 03:59 AM.
Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.
John Muir
Removed at User Request
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Last edited by calenwen; 01-04-2009 at 04:01 AM.
Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.
John Muir
Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.
John Muir
Ugh, the grass is always greener on the other side, right up until you hop the fence and you're looking back at what you left behind. Then time passes and the filter you were looking through that made everything cool on this side goes away and you're left wondering why I did what I did.
Tell the new guy that you really don't want anything to do with him and that you're taken and madly in love with your man.
gahhh, I could not disagree with a statement more. Being safe is so over-rated. Let's say she's in a very good relationship, she could definitely do worse. Now she decides it's not good enough, and let's say there's a 9/10 chance that the next relationship is worse than the last, does that mean she should run back to the last one instead of looking for something better, what she was originally looking for? NO. Nothing has changed, she still should want better than the first relationship. Going back to what's less painful is what's called settling. There's still a shitload of guys better for her out there and doing relationships based off of fear is about the ugliest thing in the world. I mean, there's a decent chance that this ILE wouldn't be any better for her than the IEI, but it shouldn't even be about that. It's the current relationship vs potential relationships, all of them. It's either right or its not. If its not and the ILE is a safety net to moving on, there's nothing wrong with that.
You have to look for someone special and maybe it won't be easy but you will NOT be happy if you just settle for the best instantly available instead of actually looking for that ideal relationship. Sure, it won't be easy, and at times you'll be less happy for short periods, but in the long run of your life you'll be so much happier if you suffer through some periods of loneliness and regret to find that relationship where your connection and your history combine so that the grass is never greener.
Alright, so I hadn't read that IEI thread so this is partly my reply to that, too.
Just... be careful. You said that you've ended 2 relationships in the past only after it became completely terrible and obvious it wouldn't work. There are a lot of relationships and a lot of people where those issues might not be as big or would take a lot longer to come out, but do you really want to get tied down to that? Settling for less than you really want is a great way to be unhappy.
I think I get what you're saying. With SEIs that I share values/interests with it definitely does feel easy; although I'd probably say comfortable, maybe low maintenance. As for boring though, I do not relate. SEIs make everything more enjoyable for me. I laugh the most with them, have the best adventures with them, and get the most out of little moments with them. It might just be that you knew a boring ILE, if you mean that your time together was actually boring vs just basically saying easy again. THen again, to quote Harvey Danger, "well if you're bored then you're boring." Blame goes two ways I guess hahaOriginally Posted by calenwen
The only other thing I could see you meaning is that you're trying to get excitement out of your relationships by getting into ones with inherent difficulty and conflict and almost making a game out of trying to overcome it, and that honestly sounds unhealthy to me and a poor foundation for what's supposed to be an honest connection between two people that nothing in the outside world can touch. I mean, I guess there's nothing wrong with that if it makes you happy, but just be sure it's what you want. See, if you already feel like you have too much history to break it off when you're having problems at 1 year, imagine how big the problems would need to be at 5 years, 10 years.
I guess what I'm saying is that if you have any doubts, you're too young not to explore them, and it certainly isn't going to get any easier to try the longer you wait. History with a person is great, and it definitely is safe, you know what you're getting, but ignoring chemistry isn't going to turn out well. You can always build history, but it isn't so easy to get a deep connection. Ending up finally realizing it won't work and then regretting all the wasted time is not very fun. That said, if you are happy and it's working for you then just screw it and be happy, and I'll be happy for you.
P.S. - I might be projecting in this post a little. It's just that I grew up with look-a-like parents (of different types), and it wasn't bad for me I guess but I always feel terrible for them. They settled for each other because it was safe and now all they have is like this lukewarm friendship and fear of moving on keeping them together. It's a pretty common question to my sister and me when alcohol and my extended family come together, "Why are they still together?" I always assumed they were just waiting for me to hit 18 and move out then they'd move on, but they're still together. I have no recollection of seeing them kiss or show each other any sort of affection anywhere outside of old video from when they were just married. At this point I think they're resigned to just dying without really knowing love or much excitement at all for the rest of their lives...
OH and one of my earliest memories was my mom just coming up to me and being like, "never get married early. Promise me you'll never get married early." That's great for a little kid, and maybe why I have commitment and fidelity issues (then again it might just be innate, as that's probably pretty close to how I am with everything haha). I thought my response to that was going to be to make sure to do it just to bug her haha. Anyway, yeah, figured I'd mention I definitely have issues too and its skewed to that side of the spectrum so I might not be the most objective person to listen to, but I don't think you should ignore this side of things either.
P.P.S. - SOMEONE MAKE ME STOP WITH THESE HUGE POSTS
Thank you, good to know someone is getting something out of them at least. I keep just getting lost typing and I waste so much time making those posts haha. It's good though, I always have these like hour long blocks where I have nothing to do and between watching sportscenter, watching downloaded TV shows, or getting lost in making posts I actually am preferring the latter and finding it passes the time quicker. That said, it does seem like you just managed to get the same point across as me in like 1/10th the words though haha
OMG be careful...coming from someone who went there and completely stuffed it up and is also SEI-Fe. I rushed in way too fast and he mistook my nervous jokes as I dealt with it all as a lack of ethics as a result. Plus I stupidly brought baggage from the last r'ship into the fray by rushing in.
Stay in contact with him, tell him how you feel...and go against the SEI grain and GO SLOW.
All the very best girl, I hope you don't stuff up as monumentally as I did with my dual.
Actually I don't think that's possible
I'm very happy for ya babe![]()
Hello, my name is Bee. Pleased to meet you .
TY. I might not be much of an upstanding citizen, but I do try my best to be considerate to people in general whenever it's possible. I'm college age BTW. I guess maybe I should've said "we're too young..." if that was confusing haha
That we are!! PAAARRTTYYYY! I'm 23 FYI
*warning this post may be influenced by the fact that it's 4.30pm on a Friday arvo here, sweet delicious freedom!! ^_^
Hello, my name is Bee. Pleased to meet you .
I would advise you not to break up for a crush, but you should also not stay with someone out of convenience or because you feel you owe it to them. Maybe liking the new guy has to do not just with the fact that you like him and he is your dual but that the EIE isn't quite right for you, and that doesn't directly have anything to do with the ILE.
EII 4w5
so/sx (?)