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Thread: SLI-SEI Kindred Relations (ISTp & ISFp)

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    Default SLI-SEI Kindred Relations (ISTp & ISFp)

    I have determined that these two types have problems.

    ISTp and ISFp do not talk. At all. We've spent three weeks with the in-laws so far, and I bet my husband has said 12 words to my father-in-law the whole time. And my father-in-law is infuriated by my husband's thriftiness (currently the fact that my husband refuses to buy a new lawnmower and will only look at used ones.) But oddly, his verbal complaint is that my husband is *lazy*, not cheap. And he's both, but it seems odd that laziness is getting the complaints when the father-in-law is a serial napper too. They both stay busy for the same amount of time, but my father-in-law spends his time tending to our yard (gardening is his favorite thing in the world) and my husband spends his time running around to garage sales and wherever looking for deals, and then fixing up stuff he buys that's broken and then selling it and earning money. My husbnad doesn't understand my FIL's focus on the yard, and my FIL doesn't understnad my husban'd interest in "junk".

    I'm quite fond of both of them but I'm entirely unable to mediate.

    For some reason I'm not edit my text, so I apologize for the typos.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    I have determined that these two types have problems.

    ISTp and ISFp do not talk. At all. We've spent three weeks with the in-laws so far, and I bet my husband has said 12 words to my father-in-law the whole time. And my father-in-law is infuriated by my husband's thriftiness (currently the fact that my husband refuses to buy a new lawnmower and will only look at used ones.) But oddly, his verbal complaint is that my husband is *lazy*, not cheap. And he's both, but it seems odd that laziness is getting the complaints when the father-in-law is a serial napper too. They both stay busy for the same amount of time, but my father-in-law spends his time tending to our yard (gardening is his favorite thing in the world) and my husband spends his time running around to garage sales and wherever looking for deals, and then fixing up stuff he buys that's broken and then selling it and earning money. My husbnad doesn't understand my FIL's focus on the yard, and my FIL doesn't understnad my husban'd interest in "junk".

    I'm quite fond of both of them but I'm entirely unable to mediate.

    For some reason I'm not edit my text, so I apologize for the typos.
    This could be Te vs. Fe.

    The SLI wants to be economical, the SEI wants to look good for the neighbors.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    This could be Te vs. Fe.

    The SLI wants to be economical, the SEI wants to look good for the neighbors.
    I think Fe in this situation is more like a social sign of respect, dignity and elgence. Looking good for the neighbors I think would be Se.
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    okay so...

    wants it to look good for the neighbors (and himself) > wants to look good for the neighbors
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    okay so...

    wants it to look good for the neighbors (and himself) > wants to look good for the neighbors
    a social sign of respect, dignity and elgence (Fe) > keeping up with the jones's (Se)

    And I made the stupid assumption that you ment 'keeping up the jones's' when you said 'look good for the neighbours'.

    Another example that might confuse things further:

    This is the way a yard supposed to look/I care about the signs I give off to the community/ this is what a decent member of society does or something like that (Fe) Vs. Everyone else has a blah blah yard in this area, I need one too (Se).


    I think slackers fil calls her husband lazy because he ignores these Fe signs that he's supposed to send out and just does what he needs to do.

    I really didn't explain that well.
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    I think a social sign of respect = Fi
    Wanting the neighbours to be pleased = Fe
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    What an odd pair.

    And you say you can't mediate between the too eh? Hrm, maybe focus on anything they have in common?
    I can understand why you're basically thinking "ugh", though.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    ISTp and ISFp do not talk. At all. We've spent three weeks with the in-laws so far, and I bet my husband has said 12 words to my father-in-law the whole time.
    Does he talk more to your ESFj mother-in-law?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    Does he talk more to your ESFj mother-in-law?
    He does talk more to her, but she's a chatterbox so everyone does, and he feels like she thinks he's a bit of a loser or something so that isn't all peaches and cream or anything.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    He does talk more to her, but she's a chatterbox so everyone does, and he feels like she thinks he's a bit of a loser or something so that isn't all peaches and cream or anything.
    Ugh, get out of there. Pretend that Fe is your 7th function or something. In the very least, reassure him that it's okay to be very relieved that he's going home soon. Tell him he did all that any reasonable human could expect from him, or something.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    Ugh, get out of there. Pretend that Fe is your 7th function or something. In the very least, reassure him that it's okay to be very relieved that he's going home soon. Tell him he did all that any reasonable human could expect from him, or something.
    I've been sending him off on errands for me a lot. He was gone a good part of the day doing things for me. LOL
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom View Post
    I've been sending him off on errands for me a lot. He was gone a good part of the day doing things for me. LOL
    I'm sure that helps a lot
    "Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."

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    haha, Ne ftw
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