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Thread: Duality and duals ignoring one another

  1. #41
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkcanary View Post
    Maybe Si? My Fe is kinda supressed around new people so it doesn't show up. I just introvert like crazy.
    yes I do see how Fe can be suppressed around new people. I also see Fe suppression happening when an SEI is being interviewed (speaking about movie stars and entertainers). It's so surpassed they are often misted for other Introverted types like a serious dichotomy
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    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    pinkcanary's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    yes I do see how Fe can be suppressed around new people. I also see Fe suppression happening when an SEI is being interviewed (speaking about movie stars and entertainers). It's so surpassed they are often misted for other Introverted types like a serious dichotomy
    Around new people I kinda act like a LII just because it's the closest thing I can go for and is a more respected type. A LII in a SEI trying to act like way though.

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    I've always easily attracted my duals--I think being a Sx-dominant helps with that, because it's as if I have some sort of fine tuned antennae directed towards those emitting signals that compel and captivate my attention. And I see Sx-So as being some kind of solitary, pheromone spraying jungle cat always making its presence known, marking its territory from place to place, ever on the go. By the time I double back around, I've usually acquired a few stray ESIs who've picked up on my scent. lol

    As far as my track record is concerned, I tend to favor the "lone" types with the impassive, walled off "can't spare a f***" facade that brazenly and unapologetically "do their own thing" (with Se style, grace, sex appeal), all the while garnishing the most attention possible, though they'd swear they hadn't really been paying attention to any on-lookers. These types are a different breed of predator, like the mythical Sirens that lure you with their mesmerizing songs and as soon as you lean over the ship to get a better look, they go for your neck and drag you to the watery depths. lol

    There's a cat and mouse quality that I really find attractive and stimulating with my duals. We're never truly "ignoring" each other so much as actively lying in wait for the right time/place to pounce.

  4. #44
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkcanary View Post
    Around new people I kinda act like a LII just because it's the closest thing I can go for and is a more respected type. A LII in a SEI trying to act like way though.
    "respected" psst by who? pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaase
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    "respected" psst by who? pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaase
    Lol! Okay so you don't but I think they are.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alonzo View Post
    I've always easily attracted my duals--I think being a Sx-dominant helps with that, because it's as if I have some sort of fine tuned antennae directed towards those emitting signals that compel and captivate my attention. And I see Sx-So as being some kind of solitary, pheromone spraying jungle cat always making its presence known, marking its territory from place to place, ever on the go. By the time I double back around, I've usually acquired a few stray ESIs who've picked up on my scent. lol

    As far as my track record is concerned, I tend to favor the "lone" types with the impassive, walled off "can't spare a f***" facade that brazenly and unapologetically "do their own thing" (with Se style, grace, sex appeal), all the while garnishing the most attention possible, though they'd swear they hadn't really been paying attention to any on-lookers. These types are a different breed of predator, like the mythical Sirens that lure you with their mesmerizing songs and as soon as you lean over the ship to get a better look, they go for your neck and drag you to the watery depths. lol

    There's a cat and mouse quality that I really find attractive and stimulating with my duals. We're never truly "ignoring" each other so much as actively lying in wait for the right time/place to pounce.
    I'm saying. I don't get the confusion really. My duals are like obvious blips on a map. I'm not Sx first tho.

    LSE sees me and sometimes they are like "Oh a quiet person I have to include in the group." That's one way, and they usher me into their little organization of friends.

    Or I see a super serious LSE, make some witty remark on either how serious they are or something and boom, I'm like a big surprise for them, they are like "It looks quiet, but it's clever." and reveal that this serious person has a sense of humor. That's the hook. I even sensed this with an LSE judge when I had to go to court for a traffic ticket. This has worked especially well with duals of the opposite sex of any age because of that attraction component being added.

    Ne has usually been the key to me getting dual attention. They react very ideally to it, they react to it in ways I subconsciously desire but didn't know was possible, until running into duals and mirage of course. I love the flirtatious quality of a creative function.

    Even Semi duals are huge blips on the map. So yea I don't get the ignoring, even in a group they are still blips.
    Even in duals presence I can feel relaxation and value.
    Last edited by Lord Pixel; 05-06-2019 at 02:56 AM.

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    To me, "ignoring" didn't mean "didn't see them". It meant I saw them but ignored them because I thought they weren't suitable.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    I'm saying. I don't get the confusion really. My duals are like obvious blips on a map. I'm not Sx first tho.

    LSE sees me and sometimes they are like "Oh a quiet person I have to include in the group." That's one way, and they usher me into their little organization of friends.

    Or I see a super serious LSE, make some witty remark on either how serious they are or something and boom, I'm like a big surprise for them, they are like "It looks quiet, but it's clever." and reveal that this serious person has a sense of humor. That's the hook. I even sensed this with an LSE judge when I had to go to court for a traffic ticket. This has worked especially well with duals of the opposite sex of any age because of that attraction component being added.

    Ne has usually been the key to me getting dual attention. They react very ideally to it, they react to it in ways I subconsciously desire but didn't know was possible, until running into duals and mirage of course. I love the flirtatious quality of a creative function.

    Even Semi duals are huge blips on the map. So yea I don't get the ignoring, even in a group they are still blips.
    Even in duals presence I can feel relaxation and value.
    1.) Yup. And lol @ >"it looks quiet, but it's clever." LSEs and their savage utilitarian instincts, God love 'em.

    2.) The thing is, intuitive types generally have the home court advantage as far as duals are concerned in that, statistically, it should be more likely for us to encounter them than the other way around. So even if we nix the ones that instantaneously rub us the wrong way (which might prompt us to "ignore"/look past them a la Adam's point), there's still a chance of encountering one with the right vibration/frequency we need (if the dualization is really going to 'take') at the time--and to your point, I find that this need is usually somehow concerned with how our creative functions manifest like a beacon of light that pierces the other's night sky at some crucial moment.

    In the past, for me, it's been when I was trapped in some dank, dark Fi dungeon and needed to be released by a Se call to arms or I was stuck in the potentially nebulous abyssal vortex that is Ni and needed a Se push through it and back into real life action. These experiences have usually coincided with the ESIs being boxed into the horrid immediacy of "now" that they couldn't foresee a path through, and I provided the way forward with Ni alongside some Te structural support. Under these conditions, it's very "we found love in a hopeless place." lol I've been dualized with much less dramatic fanfare, but when it really sticks and seemingly takes on a life of its own, it's often rooted in a sense of need, whether consciously realized or not. It almost seems like mother nature's way of pulling us through the storm when we are struggling to do it ourselves.
    Last edited by Alonzo; 05-06-2019 at 05:45 AM.

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    Duals are in constant search for their other half. Even if they married non duals the information they give and request is all for their dual. The response from the non dual maybe different, inadequate, or different than expected, however they intended it for their dual. It's interesting to see relations interplay when you've typed people.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Dual looks like conflictor + Bad experience with conflictor >>> Doesn't hang with and claims not to like people who are that.

    Come on. First grade SpongeBob. I wumbo, you wumbo. He she wumbo. Wumbology, the study of wumbo.

    Also, try and see if there are any growths on your forehead, and then see if you smell. You don't know how often I miss that. Si polr.
    Figured it out. LIE. I'm extraverted, which is incredibly counter intuitive for a person who doesn't tend to go out much. Don't know how often I'll be on, but don't expect me to respond often. Only option I'm willing to debate is Si vs Ni right now. Mission accomplished.

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    Above everything else, people will make a concerted effort to get to know one another when there's mutual physical attraction, which is independent of type. Attractive people don't usually have any shortage of suitors but their choices are more than not based on the physical unless they've been burnt sufficiently. Common interests may sustain conversation long enough to develop an attraction but duals don't often have this. The best chance for ordinary-looking duals to get to know one another is when they're forced together - for example, at work or during crisis. Benefits have to be experienced when they're not intuitively obvious - especially for those who rarely gaze beyond their own egos......

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Above everything else, people will make a concerted effort to get to know one another when there's mutual physical attraction
    Are you sure about that? Do you have actual data to back it up? Because it might be like 10 % of cases (more or less) but it would be still enough for pairing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Groucho Marx
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Above everything else, people will make a concerted effort to get to know one another when there's mutual physical attraction, which is independent of type. Attractive people don't usually have any shortage of suitors but their choices are more than not based on the physical unless they've been burnt sufficiently. Common interests may sustain conversation long enough to develop an attraction but duals don't often have this. The best chance for ordinary-looking duals to get to know one another is when they're forced together - for example, at work or during crisis. Benefits have to be experienced when they're not intuitively obvious - especially for those who rarely gaze beyond their own egos......

    a.k.a. I/O
    @Rebelondeck. all of the above is true in my experience.

    Rendering assistance: Two weeks ago, a below-average looking dual ESI funeral director was forced to share a table with me at lunch, where he admitted that he didn't like his job. I advised him to look up Socionics and ESI's online to see what jobs they like. Last week, I was at the same crowded restaurant and he was sitting alone at a table and waved me over to sit down. He and I look like we are from different planets, but he thanked me for the personality insight and for pointing him towards a better kind of work.

    Crisis: A 40 yo single, overweight ESI checkout person in a Kroger store noticed me and gave me some hard flirting looks. I was wearing a jacket, having just come from work. She was in financial crisis, I am in a lack-of-relation crisis. But not one great enough to go for a non-slender woman.

    Not noticing each other because no imagined common interests: I was buying oil for my car in an auto parts store, and the sales person was a cute 40 yo ESI who smiled and laughed a bit, for me, I think. I headed home, then backtracked to buy some lunch at a nearby lunch place, and whom did I see in line getting lunch on her lunch hour but the Auto Parts ESI? I walked up to her in the group before the lines and said "Hi!" She turned, recognized me, smiled and mumbled a greeting. I said to her, "So! You have a life outside the Parts Store" and turned on a 1000 watt smile. She nodded again, panicked, turned, and fled to the counter.

    This last story describes the main problem I'm having with all the ESI's I meet. I know what I want because I've been approaching and interacting with duals, but my duals don't like men who approach them and they can't imagine that they have anything in common with a guy like me. The ones who are familiar with duals, perhaps through a family member or an acquaintance, are already married. The ones who are 40 and single do not have a clue. Exactly like me before I encountered Socionics.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 05-12-2019 at 02:28 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Troll Nr 007 View Post
    Are you sure about that? Do you have actual data to back it up? Because it might be like 10 % of cases (more or less) but it would be still enough for pairing.
    There have been a fair number of studies showing that we can't seem to shake our animalist urges, and an animal's prime directive is propagation of the species, which trumps cognition. We are subconsciously programmed to home in on the 'best' looking (a relative term that seems to have symmetry as part of its formula) of the species and the only time we accept less is when we realize that we can't attract the best. We seem to prefer the best looking over the richer, stronger and or influential although these are easy second choices because they might assure security, which is our next highest priority. The people who say that they've evolved beyond this superficiality seem to be the ones who've resigned themselves to the fact that won't win on looks......

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    There have been a fair number of studies showing that we can't seem to shake our animalist urges, and an animal's prime directive is propagation of the species, which trumps cognition. We are subconsciously programmed to home in on the 'best' looking (a relative term that seems to have symmetry as part of its formula) of the species and the only time we accept less is when we realize that we can't attract the best. We seem to prefer the best looking over the richer, stronger and or influential although these are easy second choices because they might assure security, which is our next highest priority. The people who say that they've evolved beyond this superficiality seem to be the ones who've resigned themselves to the fact that won't win on looks......

    a.k.a. I/O
    I think some of us still have enough "free will" to say no to our urges. If you generalize it is not proof if even singular deviation exits (antithesis). Most of us is not all of us and maybe you can find more potential fields
    to study if there might be a correlation between types and when it comes to instinctual deprivation.
    Quote Originally Posted by Groucho Marx
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    @Rebelondeck. all of the above is true in my experience.

    Rendering assistance: Two weeks ago, a below-average looking dual ESI funeral director was forced to share a table with me at lunch, where he admitted that he didn't like his job. I advised him to look up Socionics and ESI's online to see what jobs they like. Last week, I was at the same crowded restaurant and he was sitting alone at a table and waved me over to sit down. He and I look like we are from different planets, but he thanked me for the personality insight and for pointing him towards a better kind of work.

    Crisis: A 40 yo single, overweight ESI checkout person in a Kroger store noticed me and gave me some hard flirting looks. I was wearing a jacket, having just come from work. She was in financial crisis, I am in a lack-of-relation crisis. But not one great enough to go for a non-slender woman.

    Not noticing each other because no imagined common interests: I was buying oil for my car in an auto parts store, and the sales person was a cute 40 yo ESI who smiled and laughed a bit, for me, I think. I headed home, then backtracked to buy some lunch at a nearby lunch place, and whom did I see in line getting lunch on her lunch hour but the Auto Parts ESI? I walked up to her in the group before the lines and said "Hi!" She turned, recognized me, smiled and mumbled a greeting. I said to her, "So! You have a life outside the Parts Store" and turned on a 1000 watt smile. She nodded again, panicked, turned, and fled to the counter.

    This last story describes the main problem I'm having with all the ESI's I meet. I know what I want because I've been approaching and interacting with duals, but my duals don't like men who approach them and they can't imagine that they have anything in common with a guy like me. The ones who are familiar with duals, perhaps through a family member or an acquaintance, are already married. The ones who are 40 and single do not have a clue. Exactly like me before I encountered Socionics.
    So before socionics you just imagined not having anything in common with them? Were you still attracted to them?

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