The IEIs I don't get along with are some of the cruelest and most manipulative people I've ever met, but the ones I do are some of the coolest and most amazing people in my life.
These extremes confuse me. Why?
The IEIs I don't get along with are some of the cruelest and most manipulative people I've ever met, but the ones I do are some of the coolest and most amazing people in my life.
These extremes confuse me. Why?
maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
go ask the frog what the scorpion knows
I like it.
maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
go ask the frog what the scorpion knows
maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
go ask the frog what the scorpion knows
For what it's worth I see the whole fucking quadra the same way, Allie.
"Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."
- Voltaire
INFp's can make you feel like no one loves you - or hates you - more than they do.
Gah, yes. I wasn't sure if I was the only one that noticed this about IEI's. One minute it seems they're obssessed and in love and want you more than anything and then it's like BAM! and they're upset with you for some seemingly unknown, unimportant reason and make you feel like everything you do is wrong and it's all your fault. I said it before in another thread, I feel like I have to walk on eggshells all the time.. the levels of guilt they can make you feel are too much. I wish I didn't like them so much because it sure is one huge emotional rollercoaster for me.
Even if my hostility is just part of my nature and not meant seriously?
Actually the whole thing doesn't really bother me now that I think about it. However, it does make me realize how much I value the relationships I do have with them.
I instantly disliked this one IEI girl I had met in school because she had always seemed rude and bitter towards me, but as she got to know me and we became friends...
wow, I just really care about her.
I just thought it was strange, the extremes.
And I'm slowly realizing most of my closest relationships have been with people I've disliked at first. kjsdhflksjdhfzlsjkdhflKSJhflksjhflskjd
It's probably not even IEI-related, but me![]()
maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
go ask the frog what the scorpion knows
Perhaps the reason for this is because when you meet a person you have the potential to become close to you're intuitively aware that you may become dependent on said person? I don't know, I think it's natural to resent someone you're dependent on when you don't know if you can trust them. Personally when I meet new people I think I give off a similar "rude, bitter" vibe, in fact I react negatively to all new things... then over time they start to grow on me. I'm weary of becoming friends with someone when I first meet them because once a friendship is cemented my Fi kicks in (takes at least 2 years) and I know I'm stuck with them, and them with me, for life.
Yeah personally I don't take other people's apologies seriously, apologies seem like more of a conditioned social etiquette thing with doubtful sincerity. I don't often apologize to others either. If somone's sorry about something then I expect them to prove it by not doing it again. Likewise if I'm sorry about something I won't apologize but rather slowly atone for it. Depending on what's been done this can admittedly be a slow painful borderline-masochistic process but it provides insights into people's character... and afterwards you know if the relationship has substance or if it's simply based on convenience.
INFp-Ni
I think this is where most of my problems with IEI's come from. We both kind of retreat and wait for the other person to make the first move when it comes to apologizing and then whoever does make the first move, its like wait, wtf...you waited this whole time, why did it have to be *me* to make the first move? You obviously don't care about me much...etc, etc. But i'm a master at disappearing and not talking to people for months so it's usually the IEI that has to reach out and I think they secretly hate me for it and hold it against me. But there are times I get extremely confrontational and want to argue and put everything on the table and *hate* the fact we can't just have a good arguement to clear everything. That's all I really want! Nothing is more frustrating than someone who keeps sweeping things under the rug and pretending things are fine when they're not. I tried to explain to this particular IEI that people *do* argue and that it's okay but my gosh the look of death comes over their face when even the hint of confrontation presents itself. It hurts me more when the issues keep getting put aside. The "retreats" only add fuel to the fire and piss me off even more and make me even more paranoid. I'd rather have a good argument than deal with that. I'm blabbling, who knows...you're a mysterious bunch.This is very accurate for me. If I'm hurt I prefer to withdraw more than anything as a protective mechanism for myself and the other person. I don't want to make matters worse than they already are, and I figure the other person probably needs their space as well.
It almost seems as if people are more likely to view others as their identicals. "I'm expecting them to do this because that's what I would do in their situation". Projecting and stuff.
Edit: It may be that consciously they are viewing others as identicals but subconsciously as their duals. How exactly that manifests in their behavior. Beats me. For now.
Can you provide a practical example of a healthy IEI doing something "cruel" and "manipulative". Unhealty people of all types do weird stuff so I am not interested in really extreme stories. Just "normal" IEI cruel and manipulative behavior. I just want to understand what exactly do they do. I've never known an INFp from a short psychological distance so I have no idea.
Edit: Jessica too if you have examples. Or anyone else who has real stories.
hmmmm i've not known IEI's to be cruel and manipulative. hot-cold, yes but not cruel. even when they are manipulating the mood, it's usually for good not for bad. when i catch them at it, trying to put a positive spin on something that no positive spin can really be put upon, they don't like that, but i wouldn't say they are cruel.
when they are cold, it feels really bad since when they are warm it feels really good. kinda like you feel the loss of the warm fuzzies from them. but they are not trying to be cruel.
sometimes they're trying to get some Se thrown back at them....at these times it seems like they are more playing, trying to provoke the Se.
to sum up, i don't think of the word cruel when i think of IEI's. *shrugs*
ILE
those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often
This is why I would like some real examples. I am somehow suspecting that this "cruelness" is not really cruelness but just their natural emotionalism which feels cruel for someone who expects eternal and unconditional love from them. I might be wrong though and IEIs really are cruel and suck ass.
Actually you're right. I think cruel was the wrong word to use. I originally meant that I believed that the way they used social/emotional manipulation on people was cruel. Of course I am saying this based on the particular experiences with them I have dealt with. Not in general.
maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
go ask the frog what the scorpion knows
This is a good post. Very true...especially the hot/cold statements. I do not and will never understand this. Could an IEI possibly explain how your feelings toward someone you care about change so drastically in a matter of mintues? How can you go from love to hate so quickly? Is this "hate" just an exaggeration? When you care about someone, why do you put them thru this? It's love-hate-love-hate. Are you looking for the other to validate they care about you? Pleeeease, I don't understand it. It's extremely frustrating.
I'll post some examples maybe some time soon if i get the chance, XOX.
no no it's not hate. If an IEI "hates" you they'd cut you out of their life. Although in all honesty there's no one that I actually "hate", in fact it would take a lot for me to actually "hate" someone so if it ever occurred I'd probably have to kill them (lol), basically what IEIs are putting you through is exactly what they themselves are going through, it's not a conscience manipulation, IEIs aren't logical rational calculating people, in many ways from an emotional standpoint looking at an IEI is like looking into a foggy mirror, if you could just wipe it clean and get a clear look you'd see someone experiencing what you're experiencing.
INFp-Ni
Heh, I am never cruel on purpose. I think it may be more a situation of the IEI clamming up for some reason rather than starting to 'hate' someone. I couldn't switch between feelings like that. If I am hopelessly in love I just want to bask in the glory of you, and if something comes between that for some reason it may make me 'clam up' and pine hopelesslyuntil the situation is better again...
Sunshine reads IEI's very well. A little positive attention goes a long way in such cases.
INFp
If your sea chart does not match reality, go with reality (Old mariner saying)
lol @ "normal" IEI, in my experience IEIs are difficult to classify into healthy/unhealthy because their moodiness and irrationality... meaning one kind act can suddenly turn an unhealthy IEI into a healthy IEI and get them back on their feet whereas one irritated wound can suddenly turn a healthy IEI into an unhealthy IEI and *flush* there they go drowning in the gutter again. Also an IEI can simultaneously appear healthy to some people and unhealthy to others
INFp-Ni