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    <something> Wynch's Avatar
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    Default Physical Presence

    I was pondering today the effect that physical presence has on individuals and consequently on how someone uses their IMs to interact with others. I thought taking it to the forum might stimulate some interesting discussion.

    As a particularly tall, not very shy, and intellectually demanding female, I've always seemed to demand a lot of deference in those around me without actually trying. For whatever reason, my stature coupled with my confidence appears to intimidate others despite the fact that I'm generally a very inclusive and genial individual. It doesn't seem to matter where I go. I walk into a room and all eyes are on me, or I walk into the bank on a busy afternoon and someone will come and deal with me ahead of several others. This thought really hit home today when I was on the elevator and noticed, not for the first time, that no matter who is on the elevator (male or female) or where I am everyone always lets me off first. It's so bizarre.

    With direct interaction (like a party or hanging with friends, etc) the effects of physical presence become the most apparent to me. People always seem to be scrambling to make sure I'm happy or defer to me on everything. It also puts me in a place where everyone expects that I'll be in control of things. Basically they slip me into this Se slot where I'm going to make all the decisions and direct the plans of the day, etc. God, it's the worst with men. I won't even get started on that. It confuses me a lot. Consequently, as a measure to counter-balance the intimidating effect of my presence, I've learned to channel mass amount of Fe/Si when initially meeting people to try to put them at ease. It's almost automatic to me now, but it's also really annoying. If I don't do the Fe/Si dance, and just be my regular ENTp self, the people I meet seem to see me with some kind of strange reverence. "Wow, Vero is so amazing *googly eyes*" or they compliment me constantly on this that or the other thing. It's really frustrating because I don't see myself that way, I don't think I'm particularly amazing or domineering, and I just want to be a normal regular person.

    Anyways, how does physical presence effect you? Does it change how you naturally want to direct the use of your valued functions? For instance, a lot of people talk about small-man syndrome. How does your physical presence affect the way people interact with you?
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    Quote Originally Posted by mn0good View Post
    I was pondering today the effect that physical presence has on individuals and consequently on how someone uses their IMs to interact with others. I thought taking it to the forum might stimulate some interesting discussion.

    As a particularly tall, not very shy, and intellectually demanding female, I've always seemed to demand a lot of deference in those around me without actually trying. For whatever reason, my stature coupled with my confidence appears to intimidate others despite the fact that I'm generally a very inclusive and genial individual. It doesn't seem to matter where I go. I walk into a room and all eyes are on me, or I walk into the bank on a busy afternoon and someone will come and deal with me ahead of several others. This thought really hit home today when I was on the elevator and noticed, not for the first time, that no matter who is on the elevator (male or female) or where I am everyone always lets me off first. It's so bizarre.

    With direct interaction (like a party or hanging with friends, etc) the effects of physical presence become the most apparent to me. People always seem to be scrambling to make sure I'm happy or defer to me on everything. It also puts me in a place where everyone expects that I'll be in control of things. Basically they slip me into this Se slot where I'm going to make all the decisions and direct the plans of the day, etc. God, it's the worst with men. I won't even get started on that. It confuses me a lot. Consequently, as a measure to counter-balance the intimidating effect of my presence, I've learned to channel mass amount of Fe/Si when initially meeting people to try to put them at ease. It's almost automatic to me now, but it's also really annoying. If I don't do the Fe/Si dance, and just be my regular ENTp self, the people I meet seem to see me with some kind of strange reverence. "Wow, Vero is so amazing *googly eyes*" or they compliment me constantly on this that or the other thing. It's really frustrating because I don't see myself that way, I don't think I'm particularly amazing or domineering, and I just want to be a normal regular person.

    Anyways, how does physical presence effect you? Does it change how you naturally want to direct the use of your valued functions? For instance, a lot of people talk about small-man syndrome. How does your physical presence affect the way people interact with you?
    Not in the least. I rarely notice height. I think it's a bunch of insecure people that you interact with, really.
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    <something> Wynch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LokiVanguard View Post
    Not in the least. I rarely notice height. I think it's a bunch of insecure people that you interact with, really.
    The world?
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    Quote Originally Posted by mn0good View Post
    The world?
    Maybe your world.

    All I know is, I have like 2-3 (girl) friends that are as tall as you are and I don't do any of that shit for them. I mean, I mostly thought "Doesn't that get annoying?", like, your height being pointed out? So I don't do it.

    Funny enough, one was a post feminist..feminist too. I think that was the term.
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    I notice height when someone is significantly taller or shorter than me (like by 6 inches or more), but I don't make assumptions about people from that alone. I've known some really tall people that I wouldn't want to be itching for my blood, and I've known others that are some of the nicest people I've met. So meh. I normally associate "physical presence" with Se though - there are some short people that have more of a physical presence than the tall nice people I mentioned before.

    Anyway. So how tall are you, mn0?
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    <something> Wynch's Avatar
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    5'11 plus change w/o shoes.

    Like I said, I don't understand this presence dealio myself. I don't think it's really a logical thing. It's just something I've observed over time.
    ILE
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    Quote Originally Posted by mn0good View Post
    5'11 plus change w/o shoes.

    Like I said, I don't understand this presence dealio myself. I don't think it's really a logical thing. It's just something I've observed over time.
    I'd say don't stress about it. People who actually care about you will sooner or later forget you're that tall, trust me.

    That being said, I would've never guessed 5'11. Nice.
    "Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Luis
    I'd say don't stress about it. People who actually care about you will sooner or later forget you're that tall, trust me.

    That being said, I would've never guessed 5'11. Nice.
    I don't really concern myself about it with my friends. It doesn't happen with the people who actually know me well. It's just an annoying thing to deal with when you're an Si-seeking ENTp. I just want you to be comfortable with me, is that so much to ask?

    And yeah, height doesn't really come across well on camera, lol.

    But, this was not supposed to be a thread about me being tall. I wanted to know how other people found their physical presence effects others, or if it does at all.

    Quote Originally Posted by mune
    I've never really noticed much in physical presence, except in a more intangible sense, like the people who walk around exuding that kind of outward energy that seems to demand obedience. Most of my bias against Se has probably been from seeing hugely arrogant uses of that whole deal (if this is Se I'm even talking about). Basically I get on well with pretty much anyone who doesn't throw their weight around recklessly.
    Apparently I walk around exuding Se, lol.
    ILE
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    I've never really noticed much in physical presence, except in a more intangible sense, like the people who walk around exuding that kind of outward energy that seems to demand obedience. Most of my bias against Se has probably been from seeing hugely arrogant uses of that whole deal (if this is Se I'm even talking about). Basically I get on well with pretty much anyone who doesn't throw their weight around recklessly.
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