Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 41 to 79 of 79

Thread: ILIs-INTps do you dislike expressions of excitement and positive emotion?

  1. #41
    Khamelion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    U.S.
    TIM
    IEE
    Posts
    3,829
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BLauritson View Post
    I'll have to think on this more. Which I blatantly won't because I'll forget all about this post as soon as I hit submit and close the tab since I'm so easily distracted.

    LOL

    Quote Originally Posted by BLauritson View Post
    Even with knowledge of Socionics, if someone's polite or friendly towards me, I always (by default) interpret that as a sign that they have good intentions towards me and that they're essentially starting to form a bond with me, such as that of friendship for example. I'm very easily charmed for this reason. Which can be extremely detrimental if someone has negative intentions towards me but masks it with friendliness or whatever...I dunno, I get the feeling I'm not really describing anything exclusive to Fe-PoLR here, but what I'm trying to get at is that I find it very difficult to.. "see through the ruse" as it were. I dunno, I think I've veered away from Fe-PoLR specific now and am just describing general social naïveté here, which obviously isn't completely type-related.
    yeaaaah, i have this problem too. i'm always genuine with people, i say what i mean (or at least TRY to, i am misinterpreted a great deal) and expect the same in return. after interactions, some of my Fe dominant or Fe (grubbing i like to call them) friends will tell me that i was way off the mark with the person and they were secretly thinking i was off-the-wall and completely nuts and just pretending to like me or tolerating me. when they tell me this i feel as though something in me has been hit...and i get pretty pissed off. i don't fucking understand why anyone would PRETEND that way. it just doesn't make sense. it's not helping anyone. i guess they think they're being polite...


    its even worse if i liked the person.
    SEE Unknown Subtype
    6w7 sx/so



    [21:29] hitta: idealism is just the gap between the thought of death
    [21:29] hitta: and not dying
    .

  2. #42
    Khamelion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    U.S.
    TIM
    IEE
    Posts
    3,829
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    maybe ILI's seem pessimistic because they can see such a large spectrum of possibilities and they get discouraged when they see the worst possibility?


    or something like that....

    i think i have more this thought but can't articulate it....
    SEE Unknown Subtype
    6w7 sx/so



    [21:29] hitta: idealism is just the gap between the thought of death
    [21:29] hitta: and not dying
    .

  3. #43
    Gone. theMime.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    1,297
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Khamelion View Post
    LOL



    yeaaaah, i have this problem too. i'm always genuine with people, i say what i mean (or at least TRY to, i am misinterpreted a great deal) and expect the same in return. after interactions, some of my Fe dominant or Fe (grubbing i like to call them) friends will tell me that i was way off the mark with the person and they were secretly thinking i was off-the-wall and completely nuts and just pretending to like me or tolerating me. when they tell me this i feel as though something in me has been hit...and i get pretty pissed off. i don't fucking understand why anyone would PRETEND that way. it just doesn't make sense. it's not helping anyone. i guess they think they're being polite...


    its even worse if i liked the person.
    meh i dunno about the other Fe dominants and creatives but I hate un-genuineness.

  4. #44
    force my hand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2,332
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Salawa View Post
    I think that, among other things, Fe-PoLR types may be consistently bored (or in some cases irritated) by people trying to get them involved in the merriment.
    I can identify with this to a certain extent. I was at a wind-up the other night - and sober (I was driving) - any every once inwhile someone would be like, "hey force... WOOOOOO!!111" and I was all like, "hey, woo to you too, tuff guy".

    SLI/ISTp -- Te subtype

  5. #45
    force my hand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2,332
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dolphin View Post
    You were the designated driver? Good for you.

    +100000000000000
    I've grown really close to my school friends, but they're all douche-bags when drunk. If I don't look out for them, no one will.
    SLI/ISTp -- Te subtype

  6. #46
    misutii's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    1,234
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Salawa View Post
    I think there is also something in -leading (in ILIs, not so much in IEIs) that lends itself to pessimism. You have so much "perspective" that it's easy to start seeing everything as pointless.

    As Dynamic types (a Reinin dichotomy I think is actually worthwhile, fwiw), ILIs tend to see the world around them as constantly changing, and as types their awareness of change is of a comparatively long timeline. Everything is seen as transient (I forget who wrote it but one of the ways in which the ILI is supposed to reassure the SEE is in reminding them that "this, too, will pass"), which is both a blessing and a curse, a source of of both reassurance and despair.

    An ILI easily gets the idea that because nothing stands the test of time, everything is pointless anyway. Why even act?

    I think I'm actually a fairly optimistic person, but even my optimism is based on this view of the world which I can only see as pessimistic.
    Salawa, that was very eloquent! I like it. in IEIs is similar I think, but different in the sense that instead of the IEI being steadily pessimistic they use as a means of inspiring hope that things can get better. Of course consequences include escaping reality by living vicariously through another person, and periods of deep depression/isolation each time their method of realizing hope fails.

    But I identify with this sentence especially:
    Quote Originally Posted by Salawa View Post
    nothing stands the test of time, everything is pointless anyway. Why even act?
    INFp-Ni

  7. #47
    Khamelion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    U.S.
    TIM
    IEE
    Posts
    3,829
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I think there is also something in -leading (in ILIs, not so much in IEIs) that lends itself to pessimism. You have so much "perspective" that it's easy to start seeing everything as pointless.


    this is part of what my last post in this thread was getting at....
    SEE Unknown Subtype
    6w7 sx/so



    [21:29] hitta: idealism is just the gap between the thought of death
    [21:29] hitta: and not dying
    .

  8. #48
    reyn_til_runa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    new jersey
    Posts
    1,009
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Salawa View Post
    I think there is also something in -leading (in ILIs, not so much in IEIs) that lends itself to pessimism. You have so much "perspective" that it's easy to start seeing everything as pointless.

    As Dynamic types (a Reinin dichotomy I think is actually worthwhile, fwiw), ILIs tend to see the world around them as constantly changing, and as types their awareness of change is of a comparatively long timeline. Everything is seen as transient (I forget who wrote it but one of the ways in which the ILI is supposed to reassure the SEE is in reminding them that "this, too, will pass"), which is both a blessing and a curse, a source of of both reassurance and despair.

    An ILI easily gets the idea that because nothing stands the test of time, everything is pointless anyway. Why even act?

    I think I'm actually a fairly optimistic person, but even my optimism is based on this view of the world which I can only see as pessimistic.
    id mostly agree with this, but allow me to split hairs for a moment. i think rather than pessimism (which i don't readily identify with), it's a natural outgrowth of viewing the world (and one's place in it) trans-temporally. it is neither optimistic nor pessimistic, just "as it is" in context of how events flow in and out of each other and of how we as humans are prone to be observers rather than active participants. so, we too flow in and out of our lives, or should if we are striving to be objective.

    it is as if, in my mind, there are ever-evolving "props" which give events their proper place, their proper duration, their proper value. the props develop and fluctuate as well, however, as a result of all sorts of factors. generally, i see them as representing the essential and sustaining value of something, as opposed to the present or immediate value of something, which really can't be determined by virtue of one's opinion or feelings about life and certainly can't be seen as a reliable means of gauging any substantial meaning. i guess it's an approach based on causation, primarily. that is to say: what is experienced today, since it results from has already been experienced, can't be evaluated as either good or bad. the goal for me is a sort of remainder of zero, a balance, and this basically translates into possessing less of the world and oneself, and observing more. i'm not saying there are no feelings involved, but that feelings take a backseat to allow for some overarching, emergent meaning to surface. to be attached to the meaning is to lose it.
    whenever the dog and i see each other we both stop where we are. we regard each other with a mixture of sadness and suspicion and then we feign indifference.

    Jerry, The Zoo Story by Edward Albee

  9. #49
    reyn_til_runa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    new jersey
    Posts
    1,009
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Salawa View Post
    I agree with this -- but do you agree that many others will likely see it as pessimistic (if only through a lack of outright optimism, which seems to be pessimistic enough for some)?
    oh, definitely...

    to which my argument is basically along the lines of: if i lack a piece of bread, does it mean i desire a piece of bread? of course not. why place value on that which doesn't need to be valued? a piece of bread is a piece of bread. if i wanted one and drew attention to the fact that i lacked one and had no chance of obtaining one, i could rightly be seen as pessimistic. but if i simply state that there is no piece of bread (i.e. possess a more negativist attitude) or, more subtly, point to the empty space on the kitchen table, i am simply noting what isn't there or that something isn't there.

    i do think it is largely a result of the pos./neg. reinin dichotomy, at least inasmuch as i understand it.

    if i say, "look, there is an area of sky weaving in and out of the trees on the horizon," i am simply choosing not to focus on the trees which occupy positive space, but rather focusing on the background which creeps in and out more subtly, and sometimes rather bleakly in comparison to what is commonly noted, i suppose.
    Last edited by reyn_til_runa; 04-29-2008 at 03:32 PM.
    whenever the dog and i see each other we both stop where we are. we regard each other with a mixture of sadness and suspicion and then we feign indifference.

    Jerry, The Zoo Story by Edward Albee

  10. #50
    Gone. theMime.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    1,297
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    ok maybe that's why i was a bit confused....i don't view what reyn was talking about as pessimism...

  11. #51
    Gone. theMime.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    1,297
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    And thanks to everyone that responded to this thread.

  12. #52
    Froody Blue Gem's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Location
    A Place within a Place in the Universe Where they will never suspect. *Cackles like a witch.*
    TIM
    EII H-Ne
    Posts
    363
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    As far as excitement goes, I'm reluctant to go all out on those types of reactions myself. I internalize moreso, and when people try to probe those types of things out of me, it's just not natural. I'm all for positivity, but it depends on how big and loud the expression is.

    I'm happy for other people when positivity happen for them, but if the expression becomes too big and loud, it becomes overwhelming for me. I don't say anything out loud to them, but I keep my snarky comment in my head. People get lost in this type of unrestrained excitement. When people expect everyone around them to feel how they're feeling when expressing emotions, this is when it gets to the point of being at the overwhelming threshold.
    xII se PoLR, 9w1-5w4-2w3 sp/so

    Phlegmatic-Melancholic |RCoAI| Fascinator| Newtype-secondary| LEFVl|

    #JusticeforJeb_, Water Sheep did nothing wrong, High Inquisitor Of Council of Water Sheep and Water Sheep's protector


    Make things right? Who are we to decide when things are right and when they need to be fixed?



  13. #53

    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    897
    Mentioned
    48 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I think a big difference with SEE Fe/ Se-Fi combo, is that there is not a requirement to reciprocate being hinted at when they speak to you Enthusiastically. Fe sometimes tries to inspire an emotion inside of you, the Fe user then waits and sees if you have been affected by their contagious emotion, and with Fi valuers it can fall flat and be outright unresponsive/confusing to an Fe valuer. SEE Se/Fi combo just feels like a loud self generated joy that exists without any need for you to reciprocate it back and it makes it feel nice with no pressure, almost like you have the choice to join in on their joy, and most people are compelled to, which creates that Fe effect. The independence of Fi emotions is more familiar and comfortable for Fi users than the need for collective shared emotions Fe can sometimes place on Fi's shoulders, which can feel like a burden, I imagine especially to Fe ignoring or PoLR.

    Here's an example between the enthusiastic Fi (I think) and the Fe requirement.
    I went to a new church one time with a friend, we were the youngest people there so the members looked at us like "Ohhhh young people" so some of them came up to greet us. The ones that I noticed with clear Fe were kinda like "Hiiiii! Nice to meet youuuuu! Where are you from?!" and I could feel this expectation that I had to respond with the same high pitched voice and enthusiasm they did while they stared at me and waited for my response with big eyes. It's not natural for me so I just kinda responded with how I honestly felt, more mellow and dry, and kinda trying to bring things back to my comfort level, because if I did try their way I would look like an idiot. Also their expressions came off like it had hidden agendas, I didn't see their expression at face value, what I actually saw was "We are being nice to you so you come back and join our church." so it felt kinda deceptive. But there was one guy that came up to us that was singing in the choir, and he was just happy, shook my handy in this happy mood, said hi to me and my friend in this really jolly deep resonating happy mood, and idk I felt comfortable with that guy, after he said hi and shook our hands he didn't stare me down to see if I would respond as happy as him, he said hi to us because he never seen us before and asked for nothing. There was also a guy who was a little more honest and said "Hey we don't see alot of young faces around here so come on back!" and cracked a smile, I felt more comfortable with that man as well since his intentions were clear and he didn't seem deceptive. When we left the couple of people who were very clearly Fe were still like "Nice to meet youuuu!!!! Would you mind filling out one of our visitor forms!" And they could see I was not into it anymore and I felt like they felt like they failed or something, I remember one guy looked confused like "Hey I'm being nice to you buddy! Come on be nice back!", but he wouldn't dare say that out loud. And that's not the only time that happened, one time a lady at another church I visited, saw I wasn't talking much, overreacted with every little thing I said to make me feel welcome and then hands me a mic to speak because I'm a new person, talk about being put on the spot to be made to feel "comfortable and welcome." Geez, but for her it was like she was not comfortable with how kept to myself I was, and she was trying to solve that like it was some kind of problem. She was an extreme case.


    Ok I'm sorry, I gotta drop this other example because I intentionally sought out to see how people would respond. Long story short, I pretended to be an asshole at an event I volunteered for and Fe tried to come to the rescue.

    For some weird reason I wanted to see how people would respond to me if I acted like an asshole, because I was tired of trying to get people to warm up to me, I wanted to see what it was like on the other side. So I rarely smiled when people talked to me, kind of faked a snobby "Don't talk to me" attitude. And guess what happens, Fe folk are trying to cheer me up, even people who are attending the event are trying to find out what's wrong with me and cheer me up. It was very strange since I didn't expect that reaction whatsoever. I did have a few people want to fight me though, but I had a number of people ask me "What's wrong, you had a long day?" but the icing on the cake was, at one point I was standing around looking extra peeved and this one woman whose working a booth, while she's talking to someone else says "You know whose awesome?" comes up to me and puts her hands on my shoulders and says "THIS GUY!", to try and cheer me up, she said it loud enough to quiet a few people in the room. To stay faithful to my "experiment" I looked at her with a dead pan face and just shrug, because I was slight confused, man the look on her face was the look of shock and defeat . That experiment felt like I was bleeding in a sea full of sharks with Fe, they could just smell the blood from a mile way.
    Last edited by Lord Pixel; 03-19-2020 at 10:28 PM.

  14. #54

    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Posts
    41
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    And that's not the only time that happened, one time a lady at another church I visited, saw I wasn't talking much, overreacted with every little thing I said to make me feel welcome and then hands me a mic to speak because I'm a new person, talk about being put on the spot to be made to feel "comfortable and welcome." Geez, but for her it was like she was not comfortable with how kept to myself I was, and she was trying to solve that like it was some kind of problem. She was an extreme case.
    I'm not an ILI but ESEs do this kind of thing so much to me too so I think it's an Ni polr thing. They're constantly trying to "bring me out of my shell" whenever I'm quiet or just thinking and it feels intrusive. Specifically the Si subtype ESE will have this uncomfortable look on their face around me if I'm not being gregarious enough by their standards. I'm like just let me be.

    The Fe subtypes will do things like this..
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    this one woman whose working a booth, while she's talking to someone else says "You know whose awesome?" comes up to me and puts her hands on my shoulders and says "THIS GUY!", to try and cheer me up, she said it loud enough to quiet a few people in the room. To stay faithful to my "experiment" I looked at her with a dead pan face and just shrug, because I was slight confused, man the look on her face was the look of defeat and shock. That experiment felt like I was bleeding in a sea full of sharks with Fe, they could just smell the blood from a mile way.
    LMAO

  15. #55
    enmity's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    TIM
    ILI-Ni 5w4 LEVF
    Posts
    110
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Dredging up a topic that is over 10 years old... there really is nothing new to discuss. There is nothing new under the sun.

  16. #56
    Ibreen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    TIM
    LSI ISTj 7w8 sx/sp
    Posts
    53
    Mentioned
    18 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by hibiscus View Post
    The Fe subtypes will do things like this..

    LMAO

    Not ILI but I’d hate this too? Their lack of exclusivity is what bothers me more. I associate that behavior more with SO/sp Fe, high pitched voices that sends shrills down my spine. Who are they trying to impress? Why are they treating me like a step to having more influence? Even EIEs do it, but it’s more subtle because they use Ni to eliminate who’s unnecessary, they don’t do it on a large scale so it’s never as cringe worthy.

    The SO/sp LSE in my class doesn’t mind playing along to things like this. It reminds me of Hilary Clinton attempting to gain voters by appealing to teenagers in 2016. SO/sp EII and IEE self-degrade themselves and/or try to be unique and/or complain about how higher ups (self imposed hierarchy) exclude them despite them lacking chemistry.

    I don’t mind Fe trying to brighten the mood so much as with WHOM their doing it with. Random person on the street trying to brighten the mood? Idk. Personally if I do that I’d feel cheap. I like value to my people so I would never associate myself with SO/sp ESEs.
    Last edited by Ibreen; 03-19-2020 at 05:04 PM.
    ترفرف كالأجنحة غير المنظورة حول رأسي

  17. #57
    voider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    TIM
    SEE-H 2w3 so/sx
    Posts
    640
    Mentioned
    77 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by enmity View Post
    Dredging up a topic that is over 10 years old... there really is nothing new to discuss. There is nothing new under the sun.
    We like talking about ourselves, though.

  18. #58

    Default

    I'd say it depends on how you express it. If you choose to scream in my ears, disrespect people, make them visibly uncomfortable or overwhelm the room with your attitude, I can straight up shoot that excitement down. Aside from that, I let everyone be, and feel and do whatever they want.
    I wouldn't say I dislike displays of excitement and positive emotion, it's only that I can't reciprocate that. Even if I'm feeling joyous, that visible expression just can't come out and if I try to force it I get very self-conscious and uncomfortable. I don't have the energy for it.

  19. #59

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by enmity View Post
    Dredging up a topic that is over 10 years old... there really is nothing new to discuss. There is nothing new under the sun.
    People learn, opinions change and more people join the forum (aka me). It's always refreshing to have new perspectives and give others the opportunity to join the topic late.

  20. #60

    Join Date
    Dec 2019
    Posts
    149
    Mentioned
    10 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I think my ILI father loves me for my expressions of excitement and positive emotion and bouts of silliness. But then again I am his daughter.

  21. #61
    Nairda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Location
    Eastern United States
    TIM
    ILI 9w8
    Posts
    58
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I am only bothered by expression of emotion if I find it to be insincere or more often as a "formality." As I have been working in a drive thru I am in some ways required to do this myself but nonetheless I am still bothered by people acting overly thankful for me doing such a meager task for them.

    On the other hand, expression of emotion with friends and family is a lovely experience a lot of the time - many of my interactions will involve humor and playfulness.. I mean, I'm not a robot
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    It’s very difficult to find the time and energy to have sex with a baby
    Quote Originally Posted by ooo View Post
    you're here since a week, I've never since seen you make insightful contributions, you're making a typing thread with no elements whatsoever and and you've already stepped on my back a few times... ass type confirmed


    Bumhole Extraordinaire

  22. #62
    End's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    TIM
    ILI-Ni sp/sx
    Posts
    1,235
    Mentioned
    184 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    Only if it's utterly irrational and categorically stupid. And that goes for both positive and negative expressions. For example, there are many a video about nerds practically cumming themselves over a "new" installment of a franchise they practically/literally worship as a god. That's cringe, really and truly cringe for reasons I can wax on about for hours. That's a "positive" experience that I'd cringe at.

    As for the negative, well, I've been called heartless for not crying at a funeral. Damned fools don't realize I cried long before then. I knew they were gonna die, I felt it in my bones. I had already shed all my tears before their death became official. I think that's a common misconception in regards to ILIs. The other quadras tend to see us as autistic robots who don't seem to feel anything. We do, but only a few people seem to get that. Only those we fully trust get to see us for who we really are. Rather emotional beings who only act robotic as a matter of convenience and expediency towards those we do not.

    This goes double for men (of whom comprise the majority of those who are ILI). If you display emotional vulnerability as one, more often than not, you'll suffer for it greatly. The mirror works as well. Be "overly" rational and calculating such that you seem to be "cold" to a great degree as a female and ye will also suffer for it.
    Last edited by End; 09-02-2020 at 05:20 AM.

  23. #63
    Super harmonizing ILI one's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    Location
    Home
    TIM
    ILI
    Posts
    1,169
    Mentioned
    56 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    It's not like I dislike positive emotions. I just won't react to it. It is somehow expected a lot that you reciprocate and some people have told me I am too silent or too unresponsive. They only say that because I mostly stick to the facts when talking (except when joking of course), I don't show them affectionate gestures and Fe back. I tried doing that and I just cringed at myself. Every year I just stop caring less and accept myself. I mean, most of the time I really just feel neutral. It really baffles me when some people will be talking to a stranger and smile a lot and be very open. Like, I don't even know who this person is, why would I be that engaging towards them? Even at work, it's not like they are my friends or something? And most of the conversations are not something to be happy with anyway.

    I cannot say that I enjoy it when people are too excited and positive in my presence. Most of those emotions are fake and most of them expect you to act similar to them. But for some people that I am close to, probably the Gammas and Deltas, I get naturally happy for them because it doesn't feel like they want to get emotional feedback from you. My way of being happy for them is just smiling for a bit and internalizing it. I don't think it's even obvious that I am happy for them.

  24. #64

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    2,093
    Mentioned
    107 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    My ILI friend seems to care about my positive emotions that I am experiencing. But the 'let's share a group mood' message seems to be very diffferent than me just being very happy and them observing me. They smile softly and gently in this REALLY sweet way at my happiness...it's just not the same as 'responding to social request to identify with a group vibe.

  25. #65
    edgy princess eiemo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2020
    Location
    a vacuum
    TIM
    no clue
    Posts
    235
    Mentioned
    19 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I know an ILI. This person is emotionally inexpressive and states things in a matter-of-fact (but not overly blunt) way. My ILI friend has a dry and unique sense of humor.
    virgo sun - aquarius rising - scorpio moon

    oh, nihilism...


  26. #66
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    10,933
    Mentioned
    1120 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    If you want to hear the inner voice of an ILI, listen to the Murderbot books by Martha Wells.

    Murderbot talks exactly like most of my ILI buddies.

    Here's a link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdYCfBNOeCk

  27. #67
    End's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    TIM
    ILI-Ni sp/sx
    Posts
    1,235
    Mentioned
    184 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    If you want to hear the inner voice of an ILI, listen to the Murderbot books by Martha Wells.

    Murderbot talks exactly like most of my ILI buddies.

    Here's a link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdYCfBNOeCk
    I'm willing to bet they're all atheistic or otherwise view the concept of optimism as either a stupid or alien concept. Fits with the stereotype for my kind I admit, but hey, there's the likes of me. I do wonder if you know of an example of a theistic and optimistic ILI in your life. If you do, tell me of your interactions. My thirst for data points knows no bounds .

  28. #68
    💩 Nobody's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2020
    TIM
    POOP™
    Posts
    441
    Mentioned
    12 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck, it might be IEI.
    Quote Originally Posted by Aramas View Post
    Just rename this place Beta Central lmao
    Quote Originally Posted by MidnightWilderness View Post
    The only problem socionics has given me is a propensity to analyze every relationship from the lens of socionics and I also see that it is worse in my boyfriend. Nothing makes any sense that way and it does not really solve any problems.





  29. #69
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    10,933
    Mentioned
    1120 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by End View Post
    I'm willing to bet they're all atheistic or otherwise view the concept of optimism as either a stupid or alien concept. Fits with the stereotype for my kind I admit, but hey, there's the likes of me. I do wonder if you know of an example of a theistic and optimistic ILI in your life. If you do, tell me of your interactions. My thirst for data points knows no bounds .

    I only know of one guy who might be ILI and religious. He's a mechanic in a car garage and he works for a religious SEE. I have never spoken to this guy, I've only watched him.

    I do know an optimistic (kind of) ILI. He's my financial advisor. He was dropped off in an orphanage as a kid and left there by his mother for a few years while she tried to get her life together. He has been married and divorced about three times. He's a great, great guy, and he likes young female SEE's, but he can't seem to get them into his life. I think he's a millionaire, but he doesn't make that obvious. He has never mentioned religion to me, but he's Lakota and he seems to believe in natural spirits of nature. Or something. It's not clear to me, and we've never talked about it.

    He keeps getting involved with these women he meets on retreats. None of them are SEE.

    My best ILI buddy is also single and very well-off, financially. He wasn't able to bring himself to speak to my SEE lab partner in HS, and he's spent the rest of his life looking for her in other women and not finding her. I feel bad for him. He is a bitter pessimist and scoffs at religion, but he's a great guy. Very unintentionally funny sometimes.

  30. #70
    Rebelondeck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    1,749
    Mentioned
    147 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    As I had implied in my ILI description that they seem to distrust emotion in others although they themselves can sometimes be out-of-control emotional. Perhaps, they don't trust these displays because when ILIs show such behaviour, many are wanting to figuratively do harm to others. Many seem to equate emotion of any kind with a certain amount of personal instability or loss of control.

    https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...ription-by-I-O

    a.k.a. I/O
    Last edited by Rebelondeck; 01-17-2021 at 03:46 PM.

  31. #71
    fypm ropan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Posts
    63
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    As I had implied in my ILI description that they seem to distrust emotion in others although they themselves can sometimes be out-of-control emotional. Perhaps, they don't trust these displays because when ILIs show such behaviour, many are wanting to figuratively do harm to others. Many seem to equate emotion of any kind with a certain amount of personal instability or loss of control.

    https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...ription-by-I-O

    a.k.a. I/O
    re: emotion == loss of control
    my close friend told me a while back that i once confided in her that "[ i ] hated being happy" because i felt like i lose control. i was surprised that she still remembered that. i think i thought it was undignified and fogged my judgement, bc with happiness, like anger (though it can be a good motivator), just spills over and i feel like i don't act in ways i wouldn't otherwise.

  32. #72
    End's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    TIM
    ILI-Ni sp/sx
    Posts
    1,235
    Mentioned
    184 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I only know of one guy who might be ILI and religious. He's a mechanic in a car garage and he works for a religious SEE. I have never spoken to this guy, I've only watched him.

    I do know an optimistic (kind of) ILI. He's my financial advisor. He was dropped off in an orphanage as a kid and left there by his mother for a few years while she tried to get her life together. He has been married and divorced about three times. He's a great, great guy, and he likes young female SEE's, but he can't seem to get them into his life. I think he's a millionaire, but he doesn't make that obvious. He has never mentioned religion to me, but he's Lakota and he seems to believe in natural spirits of nature. Or something. It's not clear to me, and we've never talked about it.

    He keeps getting involved with these women he meets on retreats. None of them are SEE.

    My best ILI buddy is also single and very well-off, financially. He wasn't able to bring himself to speak to my SEE lab partner in HS, and he's spent the rest of his life looking for her in other women and not finding her. I feel bad for him. He is a bitter pessimist and scoffs at religion, but he's a great guy. Very unintentionally funny sometimes.
    Interesting. The religious ILI working for the religious SEE makes sense. Same conclusions, different angles. Hard to bring up religion in conversation organically however. If you get the chance though, go for it. Might even get you to try it out .

    The Lakota ILI would need some bit of optimism to keep going given his situation in the meta sense. Especially if he holds to the faith of his ancestors. Pretty hard to swallow living as a conquered people without giving into hatred or despair unless you're Christian (hard to explain why fully here without going off on a long tangent, can attempt if you want me to try elsewhere). Same problem as above applies though. Again, hard to just bring up religion and spirituality organically.

    As for your best ILI buddy, well, this might be an vs dominant issue. See, I had no problems asking girls I was into out. Indeed, I felt that if I didn't give it a shot I'd regret it forever. That always ended badly for me but at least I "know" if ya get me. Better to have loved and lost and all that. Rejection sucks, but it's way better than wondering if she actually would have accepted your proposal and be consumed by the dreams of what may have been y'know?

  33. #73
    ragnar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    TIM
    ILI
    Posts
    658
    Mentioned
    13 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by theMime. View Post
    When people express excitement and positive emotion around you does it make you cringe a little? If yes, then would you mind listing specifically what kinds of things because I'm guessing there will be some positive expressions that won't bother you, like if you see someone smiling.
    When it has a rational base and is expressed in a balanced fashion it's fine and comfortable and just the way things should be.

    It's annoying when it reveals an empty, ignorant mind. Or a twisted value system. And when it's out of proportion to what there is to feel happy about. Especially when the emoting person neither accepts nor appreciates moderating input.
    Greetings, ragnar
    ILI knowledge-seeker

  34. #74

    Default

    Depends on if the emotion makes sense or I also am feeling it. For example if my friend was like 'YAS -music artist I've never heard of- released new playlist!!' I'd probably just say 'cool' and fake that I'm interested in it or whatever because I like my friend. Now lets say that friend and I were playing a game together, and my friend scored. If we are on the same team, I'd be excited that we're winning, and if they expressed that same feeling I could in some way mimic it to express my own and compliment my friend on their skills.
    the only time I really cringe at emotional expression is when it doesn't make sense or is 'too much' - for example: phone cracked, person starts bawling - when someone gets mad over nothing - when someone's mean or sad for the smallest thing- anytime someone gives me a compliment I think I don't deserve

  35. #75
    7quids's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    TIM
    Ni base
    Posts
    5
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    no, depending on how its expressed sometimes it can induce secondhand embarrassment but usually i dont mind it. It only gets uncomfortable once im expected to join in. ive always had the misfortune of getting adoped into alpha NT friend groups because of similar interests, and god i always felt so uncomfortable and left out once theyd bring in their alpha SF friends and the Fe-Si fest would take off.

  36. #76
    C-ESI-Se sx/sp ashlesha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    the center of the universe
    Posts
    15,763
    Mentioned
    883 Post(s)
    Tagged
    4 Thread(s)

    Default

    It looks like my sense on this parrots what a lot of ILIs are saying so I think I get a pass offering my input. which is that I think Fe polr is less about the visible expression of emotion and more about the extroverted participation in the exchange that results (naturally, with matching elements). Communication sync on that plane doesnt come very intuitively and it's perceived as pressure to perform.

  37. #77
    The Ultimate Aeon of Will RaptorWizard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2021
    Location
    Charlottesville Virginia
    TIM
    INTP 5w6 so/sx Bunny
    Posts
    710
    Mentioned
    12 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Why should they dislike emotion? I would just imagine that their grasp, their control, their superiority over not acting out of emotion, but rather channeling emotion would make the jungle shake and rumble under their boots of blinding speed as the opposite.

    Whereas the speed of acting immediately out of emotion is blind, thinking about things more, and acting rationally is higher. And to comprehend your emotion is to feel them more, and to understand why you act as you do is to be more free, like Spinoza or SolitaryWalker!!

    Now SolitaryWalker was the most interesting man ever, digging through thought after extravagant web of positions to alter in the mind time fabric of densities in reality to the impenetrable unknown. He is the Ultimate Philosopher!!
    EagleFangKarate (webstarts.com)
    https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...logy-articles)
    Kara (the16types.info)
    I was always a very playful and fun loving Meganium, wishful, flowing, bright, cheerful, exuberant, passionate, loving, caring, sweet, misery refined, elegant, growing, evolving, magical, evanescent, silver wise, crowned, elevated, euphoric, stunning, rapture clad, dreamy, blissful, blizzarding, aura musical, resonant, vibrant, exquisite, luster robed, but ultimately, through rare Wartortle wisdom, I became Lugia!!
    ​Father Crow (Ho-Oh) is God, invincible, immortal, eternal, everlasting, salvation, auroras, glitter, fragrance, sparkle, zap, psycho boosted, enigmatic, unleashed, ultimate, archaic, dinosaur!!

  38. #78
    fox spirit flowers and sugar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2021
    Location
    Stairway to Heaven
    TIM
    Sniffing flower type
    Posts
    285
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Communication sync on that plane doesnt come very intuitively and it's perceived as pressure to perform.
    Pressure to perform, yeah.
    I often feel like I have to entertain Fe valuing peeps and I hate it. Worst is I know I won't be up to their expectations, which tends to make me feel cheated in the end if I try to interact anyway. The image it brings me is a chihuahua dressed in bright frilly clothes being made to do tricks for the enjoyment of a public. It feels humiliating tbh.
    And I already see coming the "explain more" demands, that's also aggravating because if what I put out already doesn't make something happen in people's mind, my brain doesn't work in a way I can rephrase it so that it will please them.
    It's like the point of socionics, different ways to interprete informations and what input and output ones prefer, how they clash or compliment one other. None is supposed to be better than an other, but some people believe in their rightfulness to ask people for what they want as if anyone and everyone can and must provide it whenever probed. I really hate those moments when asked for stuff I can't provide and I see no way to smooth the situation over.
    Wrost is when they miss the point and ask for details they could just google and be done with in 10-15 minutes.
    There's also the part where I know my explaination run the risk of rubbing someone the wrong way. All possibilities sucks and are fairly worthless so why bother? but looking away is also not a great path. It's all shitty for everyone involved and idk what to do about it.
    Also, consider I'm still very angry at Fe from peeps in the past and it shows.

  39. #79
    Rebelondeck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    1,749
    Mentioned
    147 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    ILIs usually pride themselves on self-control but their emotional states often depend on how they fit in with or are treated by others. In high spirits, some can be overly exuberant and somewhat intrusive although they tend to frown upon others who have boisterous and invasive personalities. Many seem to be suspicious of such expressions from strangers or those they deliberately keep at a distance but they often try to evoke positive emotions from friends by telling jokes or recounting amusing situations. I seem to get along best with ILIs who can remain deadpan except for the occasional knowing twinkle in their eyes but these are rare.

    a.k.a. I/O


Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •