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Thread: SLI-IEE duality discussion (ISTp and ENFp)

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    No it's not fragile. None are
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    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Connorrrrr View Post
    I read somewhere, once upon a time, that SLI-IEE duality is the most fragile relationship in all of socionics!
    irrational Fe valued types should to have most fragile. but duality is the good factor for stability itself

    > Are there certain ways to help IEE-SLI duality to form, and ensure that it is prolonged?

    besides general factors, people should to have good support in their superid region

    > What is meant by "harmony" of relations

    when both feel good and have no stable significant complaints to other

    > What exactly does this feel like when experienced?

    like friendship

    > How can someone effectively begin relations with an SLI whether platonic or romantic?

    same like with other types - do what they like

    > What are things y'all look for in friends or S/Os? Are there any things specifically NOT to do?

    people look mostly for support in superid and avoid troubles in weak functions
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

  3. #523
    both sides, now wacey's Avatar
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    SLI are pretty straight forward people. Just be authentic and interesting at the same time. SLI may not seem as though they like hearing your thoughts and opinions and words and ideas and feelings, especially towards them, but they do, in the long run.

    SLI are probably used to being projected onto, "it doesn't seem like you are having any fun, why arent you this or that...?" They are patient and forgiving people as long as you are their friend and you meet their requirements, which are often few, and which you yourself are going to have to intuite because it will be unlikely they will tell you outright "their needs".

    Potentially mate for a long time if you keep your bond strong and spice it up a little with your ammorality. They fear being forgotten and quite often are, so check in every once in awhile, this will keep their home fires burning, and yours, if you so choose. A random text message is a good start.

    Harmony comes with knowing the SLI has your back in sensing matters, and that you always have someone looking out for you. Working together is a breeze because you both intuit, often without explanation, what the other one was looking for. When he is inspired to work, do not for the love of God interfere, because their desire might not come around again for awhile. Light, somewhat snobbish, yet gentle natured teasing can be expected on Te matters. To him/ her, everyone except himself is an idiot when it comes Te. You can be forgetful, just dont make him feel responsible.

    Do not touch his favorite towel unless you want your head chewed off. This is introverted sensing territory and you should have read the signs. Her harsh words come from nowhere and disappear just as quickly. They bottle up negativity so if you are hearing a hard tone, know that things are very bad indeed. Don't be surprised of the double standard here, your flashes of emotion will be met with pale annoyance on their lighter side, and out-right scorn on the other.

    A natural disaster doesn't phase them, in fact it gives them a chance to bail you out from yet another debacle of your own creation. This gives them a chance to take care of you, which raises their sense of self esteem. Careful though, they may lord their help over you. One to many rides across town because your vehicle is broken might be the straw, especially when they are under appreciated. A mule can only carry so much weight.

    Initiative is on the IEE shoulders. An invite to an after party that may or may not include a hot tub by the SLI is a sure sign. Tell them with glee that of course you would like to go. The enthusiast's name doesn't come from nowhere. Just lay out the idea and act surprised when they fill in the details. Word to the wise, do not box them in with your expectations. When they say tomorrow, then they mean tomorrow. Strong Ips are like this. Just wait another day and in the meantime, interest yourself. They cannot be forced, however, they can be convinced, as long as your static field between each other is good to go. If the mountain was an SLI, then Muhammad would still be waiting for it to move of its own volition.

    SLI are the house cats of the socion, meaning they are low maintenance. Just water, feed, and pet. Actually, all you need to do is just pet. She knows you suck at all the rest of it and will without fuss and fanfare, take care of the rest for you both.
    Last edited by wacey; 11-21-2015 at 02:08 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Connorrrrr View Post
    I read somewhere, once upon a time, that SLI-IEE duality is the most fragile relationship in all of socionics! I can't find where I saw it written though
    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    I've never heard this before.
    I believe you are referring to what is written here, describing the IEE/SLI dyad: http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/138 "This pair is the most vulnerabl one in entire socion, so great are its requirements and so finely developed the sense of harmony. The slightest dissonance in relationships with each other and others can plunge them into despair."

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    @avigale
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    A natural disaster doesn't phase them, in fact it gives them a chance to bail you out from yet another debacle of your own creation. This gives them a chance to take care of you, which raises their sense of self esteem. Careful though, they may lord their help over you. One to many rides across town because your vehicle is broken might be the straw, especially when they are under appreciated. A mule can only carry so much weight.


    In new relationships, I often find myself closely observing my partner's reaction to my ditziness and spotty (or non-existent) planning (and the consequences thereof). It makes me feel very comfortable and loved when they are forgiving of it (better yet, find it endearing) and don't mind helping me out (better yet, enjoy it) rather than telling me "why can't you just use your head," "haven't we just been here?", "you should really get your act together" or "ugh, not again..." Often I preemptively tell them "you know, I kind of suck at life..."

    I find that SLIs rarely get tired of helping me out in these matters because they know that being diligent and detail-oriented comes at the expense of my creativity and spontaneity. But I agree, you have to let them know you appreciate their efforts.
    “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
    ― Anais Nin

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    Default ISTp's What do you think of ENFp's?

    Hey . One of my best friends is an ISTp and I always wonder what he thinks of ENFp's in general. We usually just hang out in our group of friends and we (just me and him) would talk about silly things, not anything serious or anything, and I've always wondered what he thinks of ENFp's or... if he thinks about difference personality types at all.

    This question is directed to everyone, not just ISTp's but I will take replies with a grain of salt if a newbie non-ISTp comes and explains it
    I know I joined a while ago, but I'm really a newbie, so cut me some slack. I know the MBTI?

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    Default SLI-IEE DUALITY

    This is one of the dual couples that I find hard to understand.

    C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479

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    Ok, I try to supply some insight. What aspects do you want to know about?

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    Me too.



    But seriously, what is hard to understand for you? (be more concrete so I could give you a better answer)

    As long as they are not being annoying, irrational (in the normal sense of the word, not in the rational/irrational dichotomy of socionics) and immature, they are okay and we can get along.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaebette View Post
    This is one of the dual couples that I find hard to understand.
    I was living with an Alpha roommate when my now SLI hubby and I were first dating. She said the same thing, that we didn't make sense to her. From what I know of her, I don't think she understood why I would be drawn to him. I tend to be overly warm, approachable, spontaneous, goofy, wish washy and unfocused. To her, he seemed unapproachable, rigid, quiet, not very expressive or emotive. I do think SLI is one of the more misunderstood types, and much of their inner world is shown only to the ones they trust.

    I often lament when I confess that my husband is "the funny one" in the marriage. Nobody else believes me, though.
    And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won't he more surely care for you?- Matthew 6:30

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    SLIs are often slow in romance, probably especially if sx-last (which all of the ones I've met are), to the point that most people would probably lose interest or assume a lack of interest. And IEEs don't mind doing most of the initiating at first or even being rejected a little for a while, as long as they're having fun.

    My impression is that SLIs create kind of a home base/anchoring point for IEEs, so that IEEs are ultimately safe even while they're doing crazy things, while IEEs shake things up for the SLI to make sure they're growing and not stagnating.

    I think two of my fav fictional couples are IEE-SLI: Leslie and Ben from Parks and Rec (though most type them differently), and Nodame and Chiaki from Nodame Cantabile. In this clip of the latter, Nodame and Chiaki are supposed to play a piano duet for the teacher, but despite practicing very hard, Nodame finds it difficult to play the notes exactly as written, so Chiaki tells her to just do whatever she wants--and he's the only person skillful enough (and also familiar enough with her playing style) to modify his part on the fly to suit her improvisations. I think that's a good embodiment of IEE-SLI duality. Without Chiaki, Nodame's playing is too helter-skelter and chaotic. Without Nodame, Chiaki's playing is technically masterful, but he isn't challenged to grow.

    Also, without Nodame, Chiaki wouldn't have been able to overcome his childhood fear and pursue his dreams. And without Chiaki, Nodame lives in filth.

    I'd love to hear any stories from IEEs/SLIs about how their relationships/friendships with an SLI/IEE started and progressed. And what do you think you each bring to the relationship/friendship? What do you think the other one appreciates in you the most?

  13. #533
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    @Economist beautiful story on the piano duet, sounds similar to us.

    My husband and I met on Match. Although I wonder how or if we'd ever had met otherwise. Although he's strikingly handsome and intelligent, he told me he's only ever asked for a girl's number twice, and included me in that count.

    We progressed right away. He made it known that he wanted a relationship. And he introduced me to his sister and his roommates on our second date. What made the relationship easier was the fact that we wrote each other emails for a week before we met for a date, and by then we knew there was a greater depth and compatibility in our values and morals. Otherwise I confess, I may have wrongly assumed him to be arrogant. Something about his body language can seem that way. But it hurts his feelings when he finds this out.

    What he brings: stability, a sense of being grounded and secure / stable, consistent vision in his career, a clean and organized environment, a better sense of objectivity when it comes to morals or situations, wonderfully goofy humor, quiet compassion, meaning it's there and it's expressed when he senses it's absolutely necessary, and an ability to read me like a book, even if he doesn't show signs that he is doing so. He understands that I need socialization and new things- experiences, exposure whether it may be art or exercise, and a break from routine. He's amazing in detail, especially with building, cleaning, or house & car projects and can fix things like lawn mowers. This to me is amazing. One of my many favorite features about him is his heart. He's kind and has never said a negative or hurtful word about me. And he's sensitive. Even if he works out hard and seems thick skinned, he's not. Words will hurt him. And that makes me want to be even more tender and loving with him.

    What I bring: warmth, affection that isn't over the top but can placate some of his stress, spontaneity and new ventures, gradual introduction of new ideas without being too pushy (I call it "planting seeds and watering "), expressed enthusiasm, social opportunities such as movie nights or sled rides with the neighborhood, planning epic parties for special events and making special moments memorable, and an ability to know him and potential responses to any numeber of scenarios. I understand that he needs down time alone, and I gladly give that to him when he needs it. I'm a pretty awesome cook, and can multi task and cover a lot of ground, and have extra energy when it comes to non routine projects, such as buying a home, initiating big changes that need to happen, or recommending budget constraints. I think he'd say my best feature is my heart for people.

    I don't think we would work on paper if there wasn't an innate understand that we seem to have of one another. But we do. It's as if we can read each other's mind. Yet we don't ever communicate this concept to each other. We don't have to. We're so unbelievably opposite each other, yet it's completely harmonious. When we are both in moods, it's never taken personally by the other person. We just know it's human to get into a mood. And yet when either of us are in need, we'll take the extra step to do something out of the way to share communication or affection that may be out of routine.

    Our particular marriage is one of peace and interdependence. It's as far from chaotic as you can get, and isn't especially exciting or full of long conversations of heartfelt depth. It's like he's an extension of me that just functions in a completely different way. There's no fighting or irritation or sense that I ever need time away from him. I genuinely like when he's there. He doesn't misunderstand me when I talk and he "gets" me. And my heart is completely satisfied, whether we're talking or just laying in bed and holding hands, or whether we're not doing either and are just driving to Lowe's.
    Last edited by applejacks; 08-15-2017 at 02:10 AM.
    And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won't he more surely care for you?- Matthew 6:30

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    @applejacks I wish I could use a Facebook "heart react" instead of just liking that post. That was lovely to read, thank you for taking the time to write it!

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    Would it be possible for me as an IEE - typing my dual - think he is an INFJ?
    He is extremely different with me. His family has even remarked that.
    Like willing to be open and show me his feelings. It catches him off guard. He has never met a dual before from his experience. However it is just recently he's become familiar with MBTI and socionics
    I'm just baffled because to me he is an INFJ - all the MBTI tests he has done come back ISTJ

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    when you say INFJ do you mean IEI or EII

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clippedwingsheal View Post
    Would it be possible for me as an IEE - typing my dual - think he is an INFJ?
    He is extremely different with me. His family has even remarked that.
    Like willing to be open and show me his feelings. It catches him off guard. He has never met a dual before from his experience. However it is just recently he's become familiar with MBTI and socionics
    I'm just baffled because to me he is an INFJ - all the MBTI tests he has done come back ISTJ
    My ISTp friend got INFP in MBTI lol. At that time he was having problems with his relationships.

    MBTI tests are really useless imo. You can even find an LSE who type INFP in MBTI. I know an ESI who typed INTJ. An SEE who typed ENTP, and the list goes on...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Daisy View Post
    My ISTp friend got INFP in MBTI lol. At that time he was having problems with his relationships.

    MBTI tests are really useless imo. You can even find an LSE who type INFP in MBTI. I know an ESI who typed INTJ. An SEE who typed ENTP, and the list goes on...
    I recently got estj in mbti.

    My first mbti result is infp.

    Like fuck yea.

  19. #539
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    Fair question IEI (INFj) - or the one in the delta quadra at all

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    My best guess is SLI-IEE.


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    After my SLI-Te ex moved out and I divorced her, we remained on good terms. Hell, we were together for many years, and before she moved out, I thought that we'd be married forever. Wrong.

    Anyway, in trying to figure out what went wrong, I discovered Socionics and Supervision and Duality. I would sometimes have discussions with the ex about Socionics, but she seemed skeptical. I even found a single, male IEE and pointed her at him. At first, she said he was too scattered for her taste.

    That was three or four years ago. The IEE lives in a remote town in Michigan, and my ex was recently passing near him when Michigan instituted a "Do Not Travel" rule, so she decided to stop there for a while. She's been staying with him for the past few weeks.

    Yesterday, she sent me a text asking me how I'm doing. I thought this was strange, because she and I haven't really talked for months. But it turns out that she really just wanted to tell me that the IEE I found was "easy to live with". Lol. What I don't understand is her motivation for telling me that. I mean, I'm happy for her, but should I care?

    Not. Anymore.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    After my SLI-Te ex moved out and I divorced her, we remained on good terms. Hell, we were together for many years, and before she moved out, I thought that we'd be married forever. Wrong.

    Anyway, in trying to figure out what went wrong, I discovered Socionics and Supervision and Duality. I would sometimes have discussions with the ex about Socionics, but she seemed skeptical. I even found a single, male IEE and pointed her at him. At first, she said he was too scattered for her taste.

    That was three or four years ago. The IEE lives in a remote town in Michigan, and my ex was recently passing near him when Michigan instituted a "Do Not Travel" rule, so she decided to stop there for a while. She's been staying with him for the past few weeks.

    Yesterday, she sent me a text asking me how I'm doing. I thought this was strange, because she and I haven't really talked for months. But it turns out that she really just wanted to tell me that the IEE I found was "easy to live with". Lol. What I don't understand is her motivation for telling me that. I mean, I'm happy for her, but should I care?

    Not. Anymore.
    Yeah yo she probably was trying to tell you thanks for giving her good advice.

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    She SLI, he IEE.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    She SLI, he IEE.
    She SLI, he narcissistic ILE (just like the actor himself).
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    How about these two as SLI/IEE?

    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Park View Post
    How about these two as SLI/IEE?


    I think yellow-shirt is ESE and black shirt is LSI, but I haven't watched the video yet. I'm working in a high-noise environment ATM.

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