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Thread: SLI-IEE duality discussion (ISTp and ENFp)

  1. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by JuJu View Post
    I agree with this... A ENFp who doesn't want to give up on a ISTp who's 'fighting to keep distance' seems to be a pretty common relationship aftermath... I imagine that most ppl learn to deal with what you're talking about by themselves, through trial-and-error.

    Like Cyclops said in another thread, I think that it's related to maturity as much as type--for both the ENFp and the ISTp. I'm too young to have witnessed this maturation in most of my friends--any of my friends haha--but I imagine that as ISTps mature, they fight less to keep that distance. ENFps let certain ppl drop more easily... Anyone have any perspective on this?

    I had an experience last year where, after breaking up w/ a SLI, I tried to remain friends. It was the most tense damn thing, lol... Didn't last long either--after about a month, we said a bunch of mean things to each other then just let it drop... It sucked.

    A few months ago, I found out that this ex is in trouble. I wrote a nice letter, hoping to help... As expected, never heard back--and honestly, I wonder if it did..? The thing is: I can just as easily imagine a nice letter making an unhealthy SLI feel tortured as good.

    This situation probably isn't representative b/c the SLI in question hasn't been very healthy in awhile... Ppl go through phases, obviously. Maybe someone will relate to it though, who knows?
    I think that a lot of SLIs may feel that they are stalked by someone as this seems to be areoccurring theme with a coupl of them that i've known in various age categories. If so, i can only postulate that it has something to do with the fact that their Ne works in the background of their psyche suggesting that there is an Fi manifestation around the corner....hell if i know though.

    I've been in 2 SLI relationships both lasting about a month, one lots of contact and the second rather long distance. The first one there was a real almost spiritual connection there and things were going great except i was the idiot at that point in time trying to keep this psychological distance at the beginning and i ruined it. In the 2nd, there were some hidden motives i think and character flaws which indicated that non-personality type wise this probably wasn't goin to work out.

    I think that activity relationships are far easier to start than dual relationships (but not better in the long run).
    ENTP:wink:ALPHA

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    Default Discussion of ISTp-ENFp duality

    These are automatic translations from a Russian website. Gaben refers to SLI, and GEKSLI to IEE.

    Not only that the dual relationship obrastayut myths "dualam instructions do not need! У , . They all smoothly - they dualy same ", so even Socionics in emphasis and ignore the fact that relations in a pair Gaben and Geksli up heavier than in the rest sotsione. Just prosherstit sotsionicheskie forums, and the picture becomes very clear and grim. . Yes, there are certain gender issues specific to women and men of any sotsiotipa. But it is a Geksli-women-men Gabenami have problems that can not be explained by conventional zamorochkami mezhpolovyh relations, besides the model so that we can speak about the standard pattern.
    CONDITIONS:

    1. This is about people not involved in other relationship of this kind.

    2. 2.These are the people who each other at least pretty.

    3. 3. This is about people, the level which is commensurate, and has no significant distortions.

    4. . These are the people who have just met, but did not take place in one company, had not been for some time neighbours or colleagues. Note: Gaben - observer, in these cases, it may look to the long time it interesting woman, as no one will even suspect. А . And if Gaby will be able to act on his initiative relations can develop very rapidly.

    . Imagine that there is some abstract Gaben-man, free of long standing relations, and from this loneliness podustavshy. It seems to work and work and career moves, and mattsennosti bought, and friends there, and corporal problems are solved (well, in our time ...), so many ways this is not enough in life something blurred by the notion of "love" . And you want something whose eyes shine, tenderness, understanding, spiritual closeness, the freshness of communication ...


    . Well, here one way or another podvorachivaetsya Gechka, girl-woman notable and interesting.. Gaby motivate it, and the first time - from weeks to a couple-three months, depending on the circumstances, is flirtovo-EKIP period, usually busy and exciting for both.. Gabin fascinated, clearly and actively take the initiative, Geksli same vice versa - to launch several calm, but gradually erupted, and more and more fond of his new acquaintances. ... Here they are - shining eyes, sincere enthusiasm about the identity of Gabu, the desire in every sense of closeness and the same lust understanding ... ... It would seem - take and Rejoice ...


    . And then the fun begins, because Gaben starts removed, and withstand a distance breaks, gradually abandoning initiatives behaves aloof, and simply disappears. The reasons for this are may be several, they are perfectly described in the article Svetlana "Some causes" Gabenskih propadany "and very illustrate Gabena motives.

    ПРЕДПОСЫЛКИ PRECONDITIONS

    1. Different speed relations. Geksli quickly "reads the" identity, sees human nature and quickly decide for themselves - it wants to be with him or not. If successful relationship, Geksli seek closer, to develop them. Storyteller BE CHE background and insight enables fast and in my feelings, and kind person. IEE soon determine for themselves and their attitude towards and weaknesses, and to vote, meritocracy, and if it persists, hence, it adopted the identity in a "standard "Shortcomings and did not consider it too high.

    U Gabena everything in a different way. He gathers information and a copy of the human person gradually, to evaluate, evaluates and compares, in other words, conducting systematic analysis, while "identity card" does not emerge entirely in a consistent way. Intuitively ethical assessment Geksli rendered much faster than Gabenom conducted its "bulk analyst".

    2. Various comfortable distance. Already it is understandable that Geksli strives to develop relations, displaying on a qualitative level, and this is particularly true for women Geksli. Но, . But if relations between dualami stood at some distance, and she Gabenu comfortable, then on his own initiative he would not seek to develop them, if not included in his next personal goal (for example, SLI "covered" irresistible desire to create a family, but it is quite another story, and other factors Gabenskogo discomfort).

    As you know, SLI optimize energy costs under the expected result, and are active only when clearly marked desired goal. . And when the ultimate goal is clearly not - who knows how it can go farther, and already have than to risk - Gaben will provide the necessary minimum of efforts to preserve his comfortable relationship.

    3. The different level of trust. Ekstravert-ethics detail inform their environment on developments in his life. That's what makes Gekslyachya creative - the closest environment will know about the current life Geksli much more than others. In the same way at times involved more "human" resources to find the right solutions, because their problems Geksli in most cases with the assistance and decides to support other people.

    Gabin, as introvertnym logic of weak ethics, problems and feelings with almost no shared environment, even despite its proximity. . Pain ethics does not allow emotions to predict the reaction to a sign of weakness, because Gaben protects loved ones from unnecessary rigmarole, and avoids demonstrate vulnerability. At the close distance itself Geksli "reads the" emotional state Gabena, but not established relations dualy are mostly at a distance from each other.
    Thus, Gaben devoted to the details of life IEE, and Geksli on current problems SLI may either not be aware at all, either do not assume their real magnitude.
    Last edited by Ali; 07-12-2008 at 03:57 PM.

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    Default part2

    PART 2
    What Gaben suspension behaves, the more worried Geksli. She did not need? It is to cease to please? It behaves correctly? There is another? Or simply use it to solve some temporary psycho-emotional problems?

    Т. The creative ethics relations differs from the basic fact that the assessment does not extradite finished, not yet fully TVA motives in human behaviour. . A background emotionality makes Geksli sea just to experience negative emotions, doubt, fear, despair, until the Depression, however, the natural way of shielding surrounding their manifestations in full force.. In other words, the Geksli is "filter" to the extent of extreme manifestation of emotions.

    Weak ethics Gabena simply does not allow him to feel these emotions and understand their causes. . All, as it informs Geksli - often served in filtered, ostuzhennom form, and Gaben not guess how hard it moves forced interruptions in conversation.


    С т. Gek really starts sausage, is reflected in its reactions, Gaben predistericheskih manifestations disqualified from any further. Or, alternatively, Geka takes himself in the hand, stand up to long, straight tone, then takes Gaben new rules of the game, and that periodic communication without the development of such period lasts, what can withstand Geksli, Gabenu because it gives a sense of worth and nuzhnosti, fuelled admiration , Recognition and their love. У . U Gabena psyche set to eliminate discomfort. Geksli fills his "children's block", that is the problem of discomfort from loneliness already eliminated. Вопрос - зачем стремиться к развитию отношений, ? The question - why should seek to develop relations, if already - well This situation may drag for a long time until it fails Geksli.


    In Gabena phrase "I am already well because you are" Geksli can invest tens of meanings. . And everything is actually easier repo guy - it really well because he has Geksli. He did not think about what might be that it will not. Discomfort eliminated - a goal achieved.


    Geksli mosques and tortures in trying to answer the questions yourself whether you need Gabenu relations in general and in particular with it. . Her needs, because of Separation Gabena, sold fewer and fewer, flour, these intolerable and senseless ...... Gekslya nervous recension, suffers fails, blames, then repent for the failure, trying to be patient and responsive, but everything remains unchanged, and it fails again ... . With all the diversity of perspectives, live in insecurity and uncertainty in the most important in the life of the field for Geskli unbearable.


    . Gabenu carry these tricks and more difficult, and it is from this state of suspended Gekslinnogo inconsistency. And in a magical moment Geksli break and leaves. . And not that this officially notify Gabena.


    More Gaben some time living on inertia, because the lion's share of the initiative in relations came from Geksli. Maybe he did not immediately understand that she went. . When Gaby comes to cause discomfort, something that no number of EE that IT is no longer with him that she lived another, distant life for him, in which it has no more space, with all the force he feels that emptiness, which was formed in his life after its withdrawal. Fill it can be by returning Geksli. Но, в But, in most cases so far Gabenom awareness of its value, Geksli either no longer one, either categorically renounced relations, which caused her so much pain.



    The end of the known me very sad stories. . With the knowledge of its attitude to Gekslyam Gabeny in these stories too late. . Too much pain hlebnuli girls, too badly damaged heart came on love and sacred place is never empty ... Geksli seriously carry emptiness in the soul, and do not know how to leave, as Gabenki, to the work. They are looking for (and are) other relations, which sees the prospect.



    But that does not mean that can not be in a different way. . I know couples who have all had a happy life. . Unfortunately, few such couples.


    These are pies with kittens
    Last edited by Ali; 07-12-2008 at 04:01 PM.

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    Default PART 3

    PART3

    Creator relations, Geksli, in his work focuses on feedback received from that person - and emotional reactions and actions. . Gaby express their emotions very specific manner, and "capture device" Geksli configured very subtly. . At this stage, not yet established close and trusting relationship, Geksli understands relevance to imagine Gabena on his emotions, which "reads", while only in his field Sensoriki sensations. . Being at a distance and not getting feedback, Geksli disorient, and concludes that it is not necessary and not loved.

    Here's how described the process of perception Gabenskoy Sensoriki a Geksli sensations, which, however, rejects the complexity of the transfer of BS at a distance (given without redaktury):

    "I am looking for every case to tell how I feel emotions Gabenov.
    When you show its sensory care (I mean tactile contact), you pass an enormous amount of information. I personally reads what is behind any touch. After all, what you are not very good deciphered emotions, have not yet said that you are not experiencing. Gaben sometimes TAK обнимет that feels that any head sneset for me! . And most kajf - is to feel what the pleasure of experiencing himself Gaben touch me. е... Here are some touch to make me pleasure ... Why is something I am in such cases uneasiness of the situation ... А.. A Gaben does so for himself, and he was pleased by the fact that I am pleased ... (Here is a write and understand that I do not have enough words to convey all the nuances ...) To be honest, I still can not understand for themselves, which I kajf fishing greater: from what my body feels, or from what I captured in the energy level. И мне кажется, что второй вариант ближе к реальности. And I think the second option is closer to reality. Нет у. No I have the resources to own body good to hear (BS - linear), but that feels while I Gaben fishing space (here and background and creative help). Мне I think I just fall into this energy flow and dissolves in it.
    Actually, even if remove sensory component and leave only energy, for me not diminish the amount of information.. Around rights, there's a box, and his sense of ethics.
    Sometimes such spills! Especially, when the light is switched off, nobody at Gabena (type) does not watch ... ... Here's the truth, in such moments sitting or lying beside such flows of energy and fishing ... They do not need words, there is complete clarity, and depth vopriyatiya is that any words - and only a pale reflection essentially flat. Вот уж действительно тот случай, когда слово произнесенное есть ложь. This is indeed the case when the word is delivered lie.
    Someone of you, my Gabenki, wrote that a human feels, as exemplified by his physical sotoyanie. Same for the white ethics. White ethics - empathy. Мы . We catch a flow, which comes from a man, how would a member of his condition, and through a sense of what people feel. ... Sometimes you look at the back of his Gabena, and feel that the heart simply compressed and falls ... This means that Gaben now sits with imperturbable face and very strongly about something going through, showering at his sore .... and this, it reads. "

    How can express feelings Sensorika remotely? I Gabenskaya creative business logic can not fully manifest, and if Gabena Geksli no common cause in which both are interested. Or if Geksli not need assistance with which it does not handle itself. АAnd it is a fairly rare situation, because Geksli - quite separate ladies.
    Weak Ethics referent relations povzolyaet Gabenu not understand the emotional and psychological needs Enchantresses, Ethics and painful emotions - interfere with the free expression of emotions, which (as with Dumas), could reach to compensate for Geksli field Sensoriki sensations.
    Moreover, and Ethics Geksli develop all the time, and she wants to share their "experience" with a favourite person, but not always, she has this opportunity, and moreover, does not receive the Gabena reverse reaction, that is, and this feels its impotence. Geksli itself as the extrovert and ethics, created for expenditure of energy, Gaben - for its retention. Geksli underexpenditure of energy can be compared with a generator running vholostuyu, or mother, suffering from excess milk - roughly the same agony.
    That's what happens on the distance and periodic odkormka child only to block Gabena, Gechkin same block child does not receive the necessary information, even at a distance suggestivnuyu not provide the exact. IEE subconsciously seeking closer to satisfy their needs, an acute shortage which feels.й. And SLI is not seeking to bring about convergence, because Geksli it provides the necessary support in Intuitsii opportunities, and convinces in good about their creative Etikoy.

    . Conclusions: The dual relationship to fully operate in a very close distance. То That is, they work and in communicating, and in friendship and in industrial relations, and all this wonderful and pleasant. Но . But their global sense - to establish full relations, the most close and trusting - in other words, family.
    Last edited by Ali; 07-12-2008 at 04:13 PM.

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    Default PART 4

    PART 4

    (Update) - Part 4




    Imitation irrevocable resignation, before the pain, misunderstanding and resentment to stifle all feelings, before despairing will be cross on relations and the future. Care for long, for several months, and if it turns out that feelings Gabena not as strong as I would like to - we have to be mentally prepared for what this forever.
    . Try to take a densely other cases, to combat loneliness and momentum. Л Any act impulsively - and need to start all over again. Care must not ponaroshku. . One must believe in itself - does not convince ourselves, not to persuade others. Second chance for withdrawal will not happen. Не . Do not surrender immediately, not to persuade a slippery "need" and "missed". Temporary lovers or mistress, too, are needed and they can also be missed when devat'sja absolutely nowhere.


    . Let him feel no desire, melancholy and loneliness - and specifically your role in his life.


    . Objective - artificially create conditions so that Gaben felt discomfort and understand its causes.Sumela understand themselves and feel their true attitude towards women. .. To do this, you should already be sure that everything is sufficiently attended ...

    But given how difficult Gabeny converge with people - the risk is not so high. . If it appears - then awareness will require time. Be patient. It may be that you do not need him so much ... А And you need to have relationships in which you do not seem especially and wanted?

    Способ №2 Method № 2

    Jealousy. Imitation compete.. Gaby - Sensorics, hence - owners. . Nerevnivyh Gabenov does not exist in nature, even if jealousy does not outwardly apparent. If you by the time of deadlock in relations fit into the comfort zone Gabena, it can make a serious effort to hold you back. . It is better if competitors will be somewhat hypothetical, but none of them serious competition for Gaby will not be.

    The goal - the establishment for Gabena threat of loss of comfort, drawing attention to Gabena own attractiveness to other men to Gaben was able to understand the importance you and join the competition for a portion of their comfort zone.

    Risks. This situation is very precarious, playing with jealousy very risky, because it included a contradiction: on one hand - postulate of individual freedom of choice, on the other - proprietary instinct. If Gaben decides that Geksli choice in favor of one of the competitors, he step back in the party and return it can be very difficult. . In addition, dual relationships based on trust, confidence and undermine this very easily, especially in the early stages of development of relations. Therefore, please be very careful and are confident of the necessity of their actions, and remember - once you have received clear unequivocal message from Gabena that you really him the road - all games with jealousy must stop, otherwise you will simply lose its credibility.

    Способ №3 Method № 3

    Severance sincerity. Call for candid conversation, and not requiring immediate action or reaction, cover everything that you are concerned about all your goals, feelings, fears. If you can not talk - write. But preferable to talk about it personally, to Gaben line could see emotional reactions with spoken words. . Tell us about what exactly it causes you pain, as can be addressed, tell them that you need it and why, that want to continue and develop relations with him, but if all it does not need, you will not insist and imposed, simply step back in the side, and will go for who match your goals. In any case, he will need time to weigh all. Ask him in any case to speak about their position. . Not necessary to replace response sincerity and openness. Do not ask him something quickly with this whole deal. . Let him think he is very necessary, even if it takes a long time.

    . The goal - the establishment of closeness and trust, sostykovka personal goals, the definition of vector development of relations, opening and troubleshooting.

    Risks. Being very frank and sincere always very difficult, because you are displaying their most vulnerable point. Gabin may not be quite ready for your frankness and objectives. He may be quite different designs, not with your sostykuyuschiesya. You can not prove it absolutely needed. . To all this must be morally ready, and take any option developments. . If you're really open and sincere, Gaben necessarily provide feedback.
    Last edited by Ali; 07-12-2008 at 04:18 PM.

  6. #126
    Haikus Sirena's Avatar
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    Wow, it's always funny reading these really bad translations. However, the things talked about here really strike a chord for me (the ones I understood, anyway). Maybe at some point I'll comment on it.

    "Gek really starts sausage" LOL, this really made me laugh.

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    I had a best friend who was SLI. To me he was a strange person so I observed him carefully because I found him so interesting. There were things about him that were probably not entirely healthy but whateva. We are very different so I decided to try to get into his way of thinking and apply it to my life to see if things improved in certain areas. For example he would take his time when doing things and block out other stimuli. I found that when around him I could concentrate more and stay with things. He liked to take time out for himself (long stretches of time) even when other people wanted him to be elsewhere. He just refused to respond to them. I, on the other hand, was overextended, trying to be everywhere trying to please everyone. When I was with him I slowed down and listened to what I wanted and felt less guilty about taking up space on the planet. My SLI taught me how to take care of things by learning about them. Like for example how to handle a guitar, How not to just lay it down any which way but to make sure nothing is laying against the strings and its not near the window where the sunlight could warp the wood over time... stuff like that. I just learned all kinds of things that I just dont normally think too hard about but that are really important to the quality of my life.
    I in turned helped him to not take himself so seriously, to be open, to listen to other people, to try new stuff and go places and to believe in the future. He was competitive and came off as a butt to a lot of people but being around me I think he learned to be less guarded and to be more willing to show that he is human and can make mistakes and that its OK not to pretend to be perfect. I started to notice him smiling more, telling jokes and he would even play his guitar for people and sing his own songs. He was more willing to help people out.
    He came from a rough childhood and his mom and dad sort of abandoned him and his siblings so he has trouble trusting people. I wish I could say we are still close friends but we're not. I can see how in some ways we both failed each other. I still think about him all the time and try to remember the good times and what I learned.

    Topaz
    The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

  8. #128
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    Quote Originally Posted by Topaz View Post
    I wish I could say we are still close friends but we're not. I can see how in some ways we both failed each other. I still think about him all the time and try to remember the good times and what I learned.
    I think you tend not to forget duals. My best friend in primary school was EII-Fi. We went through periods where we were closer than other times, but nonetheless throughout those years she was a major part of my life. Our families were pretty close too, so we went places together and stuff. We went to different high schools, but I kept in touch with her. We see each other at least once a year now, and I think/talk about her much more than that. I agree very much with what Topaz said there.

    I'm not sure what the actual impact of being 'dualised' is when you're that young (8 years old), but I do think there's a fairly significant difference in my life when I've had delta-NFs in it compared to not. In my early high school years I didn't have a close NF and that was the time I was most...lost. I was doing things that were fairly self-destructive and very unhealthy. I got a lot more centered towards the end of high school when I became closer to unefille (IEE). I mean, there's also just the process of getting more mature, but I do think having compatible people around you just makes it easier to, you know, find your place in the world and all that.
    allez cuisine!

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    Quote Originally Posted by idolatrie View Post
    I think you tend not to forget duals.
    I agree.
    EII 4w5

    so/sx (?)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ali View Post
    My question is, what kind of behavioral changes do delta go through after experiencing such dualization (that is, if my general understanding is correct about this). Can anyone post their own experiences or observations on the subject?
    I've had some brief contact with one ENFp woman this summer. Her personality is such that I could see a lot of people claiming she's 'high maintainance', but I would disagree. She's very active mentally, and very chatty, but I didn't find her tiring at all. Also one of the nicest people I've met in a LONG time - whether that's duality or pure coincidence I can't say.

    Often she would interject with self-deprecating comments about how 'silly' she was, or statements of how much she was just 'blathering'. This provided an excellent opportunity for me to come out make a friendly gesture, "Oh no, not at all, I find this interesting, etc." - something I've taken to frame as her trying to draw me out, or gauge my level of connection with her in terms of Fi. At least, that was the effect.
    SLI/ISTp -- Te subtype

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    Quote Originally Posted by enfp rosie View Post
    I'm an ENFP and I'm curious about this whole idea of ideal dual relationships with ITSPs. There are lots of things about ISTps that are really appealling to me: earthy and sensual; adventurous; non-conformist; loyal; focus on details and practical stuff (someone has to after all 'cause I don't like to); optimistic and liking excitement and new experiences.

    On the other hand, the fact that ISTPs are not good at expressing emotion/affection, can be afraid of deeper emotions and have a tendency to be commitment phobic is not at all appealling.

    So I'm curious to hear from ENFPs, ISTPs and hopefully even some ENPF-ISTP couples in response. Is the ENFP ISTP combination rewarding? And how is the apparent emotional incompatibility addressed?

    You can trap us through our stomach.
    "Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."

    - Voltaire

  12. #132

    Default yet another duality thread :)

    so when i first read the istp profiles i thought to myself, hrmmm, this duality stuff is a load of bullshit i have no interest in this type. however as i started to actually read istp posts on this forum you guys have won me over:-D. i find you very intriguing and exciting, cant really say why except that its like i know that if i met you at a party and we got to talking i would probably stick to you all night trying to find out more about you. basically i think i need to meet some of you in person. preferably a really sexy 20ish female, lol, but it would be cool just to identify if i know some of you already so i could evaluate the relationship and see if its naturally fallen into a duality type of thing.

    anyways just throwing that out there, replies are welcome
    Last edited by silke; 03-16-2014 at 07:06 AM. Reason: edited out spam link

  13. #133
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    So long as we're making requests, I request a really sexy 30ish male

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    ok, I'm pretty sure I met an ISTp last night. I'll tell the story, because it is dual-related. And also, I just never meet ISTps, so I wanna share.

    Usually, I never, ever talk to guys at bars. This is because I feel like I'm forcing things and figure if they like me they will talk to me.

    But there was a very cute guy (pretty much the only cute one there). I could tell the guy was quiet, so that was good. My friends were trying to force me to talk to him.

    In fact, my female ISTp friend was the one who pretty much literally pushed me to do it (she had downed several James Bond type martinis, with the olives, because she's the only one who can handle her liquor...she was actually very Se at that moment.

    I told them I didn't have any problem talking to him, but I didn't usually do that because of my reasons (listed above). But they're like "who cares?" So, (as with most ENFps) it only takes that little push and we'll do all sorts of silly things right? So I go over and say hello.

    I talked to him for a while and 1) I wasn't nervous at all (strange, especially since he was cute). 2) I didn't particularly care. And I also didn't really care if he liked me or not. (also strange).

    So I told him I didn't usually talk to guys at bars (mentioned my reasons) and he said he was glad I did as he was shy. In my mind I'm like "of course you are! you're an istp!" I mentioned a few adventurous things and he responded well. So I said we were leaving soon, but he could go to the club we were going to if he wanted to. But he had a bunch of friends at the bar and wanted to stay.

    But then he said he wanted to take me to dinner. and he said it in that very confident ISTp way. There wasn't any awkwardness. So I'm like "well, are you actually going to call? Because sometimes people freak out and get scared to." And he's like "nope, i don't freak out easily" or something like that (also sounded ISTp)

    Strangely, I walked away like "eh." I mean, it was very cool, and my friends were all shrieking, and almost high fiving me? um...embarassing, especially because I think he saw that. But the thing that stands out about this was that 1) I talked to him first. 2) It went well. 3) Wasn't any weird awkwardness or nerves. Unusual.

    Now let's see if he calls....
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

  15. #135
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    Quote Originally Posted by timeofurlife42 View Post
    so when i first read the istp profiles i thought to myself, hrmmm, this duality stuff is a load of bullshit i have no interest in this type. however as i started to actually read istp posts on this forum you guys have won me over:-D. i find you very intriguing and exciting, cant really say why except that its like i know that if i met you at a party and we got to talking i would probably stick to you all night trying to find out more about you. basically i think i need to meet some of you in person. preferably a really sexy 20ish female, lol, but it would be cool just to identify if i know some of you already so i could evaluate the relationship and see if its naturally fallen into a duality type of thing.
    Aha, but of course you find ISTp's appealing... it was only a matter of time, wasn't it? Heh, but really, I'm interested to hear your stories about ISTp's you meet/interact with in real life; that'll be quite telling....


    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    Now let's see if he calls....
    Glad you met a dual... kind of bummed you're not more psyched about him, but also completely able to relate [why do we do that?] Hope he calls....

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    So long as we're making requests, I request a really sexy 30ish male
    Dear Universe,

    Jessica and I each would like to put in an official request: each of us would like one really sexy, 30-ish ISTp male. Upon delivery, please provide a sign so that we don't miss each other as seems to happen between duals.

    Thank you.

    Sincerely,
    SongofSappho

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    Quote Originally Posted by songofsappho View Post

    Glad you met a dual... kind of bummed you're not more psyched about him, but also completely able to relate [why do we do that?] Hope he calls....
    I probably didn't communicate that well...I was definitely psyched about him, but wasn't nervous and all worried about talking to him (usually I get freaked out or worry that the guy won't like me). I wasn't sure if he'd like me or not, but somehow it didn't seem like he'd be the type to hurt my feelings about it if he didn't. So I figured that might be the duality part at work? I definitely liked his personality though!
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

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    Slippery when wet Simon Ssmall's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by songofsappho View Post
    Dear Universe,

    Jessica and I each would like to put in an official request: each of us would like one really sexy, 30-ish ISTp male. Upon delivery, please provide a sign so that we don't miss each other as seems to happen between duals.

    Thank you.

    Sincerely,
    SongofSappho
    Your ENFp?

    I'll take sexy ISTp female age 22-27, thanks.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ssmall View Post
    Your ENFp?
    LOL I typed that wrong, didn't I? Wow, I knew I was tired, but didn't realize I was stupid-tired. Let's try that again:


    Dear Universe,

    Jessica and I would like to put in an official request: each of us would like one really sexy, 30-ish ENFp male. Upon delivery, please provide a sign so that we don't miss each other as seems to happen between duals.

    Thank you.

    Sincerely,
    SongofSappho

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    If this is not possible, I'll go for a really mature 20 something

  21. #141
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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    If this is not possible, I'll go for a really mature 20 something
    Ditto.

    And tall, please.

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    Quote Originally Posted by songofsappho View Post
    Ditto.

    And tall, please.
    Careful with the universe, define tall and mature or you might get a surprise. Maybe universe is a midget who never dated for longer than two weeks.

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    Something.

    P.S. ISTp/ENFp duality rocks!!!!

    PS.PS. jewels- I hope he calls!

    PS.PS.PS. I should eat some lunch....

  24. #144
    Jesus is the cruel sausage consentingadult's Avatar
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    Default IEE cruelty

    It has been said that SLI's can behave 'cruelly' towards their IEE duals. I take it that this means they do it in a overt way. However, I was thinking, IEE can behave cruel towards their duals too, but in a more covert way: by not following up things, or forgetting about their duals altogether, or taking them for granted, which might leave the SLI bewildered or frustrated.

    It is not what most people typically would consider cruel, but it might be experienced as such by an SLI.

    True? False? Any other opinions on the above?
    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

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    I am a very cruel person, srsly.
    Looking for an Archnemesis. Willing applicants contact via PM.

    ENFp - Fi 7w6 sp/sx
    The Ineffable IEI
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    johari nohari
    http://www.mypersonality.info/ssmall/

  26. #146
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    I dunno, it can be down to personal perspective. It can be said that the ENFp tries to use emotional manipulation on their duals (as can any F type) but the ISTp becomes callous enough not to give a shit. Yes ENFp's can jump around at the next sight of interesting things, but ISTp's can withdraw for no real reason also.

    Basically, imo, what we have to remember is that some things aren't type related, in that you may be same type as someone else, but it still depends on the person for how you behave/respond/use your functions and your personality.

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    Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post
    It has been said that SLI's can behave 'cruelly' towards their IEE duals. I take it that this means they do it in a overt way. However, I was thinking, IEE can behave cruel towards their duals too, but in a more covert way: by not following up things, or forgetting about their duals altogether, or taking them for granted, which might leave the SLI bewildered or frustrated.

    It is not what most people typically would consider cruel, but it might be experienced as such by an SLI.

    True? False? Any other opinions on the above?
    Where has it been said SLI's behave cruelly towards IEE's, and in what ways? [I'm sure that has been said/observed, and now my curiosity has been piqued....]

    As far as an IEE behaving cruelly to their dual by not following up on things, forgetting about their duals, taking them for granted, etc., these seem more like individual things that are not necessarily type-related - surely all types have been guilty of this sort of behavior from time to time.

    Because SLI's are pretty independent in a lot of ways, I don't think that type of behavior by IEE's is perceived as being cruel or like as big of a deal as it might seem to other types. In the case of IEE-SLI duality, this may be where the independence of both types can be a strength as well as a weakness.


    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    I dunno, it can be down to personal perspective. It can be said that the ENFp tries to use emotional manipulation on their duals (as can any F type) but the ISTp becomes callous enough not to give a shit. Yes ENFp's can jump around at the next sight of interesting things, but ISTp's can withdraw for no real reason also.

    Basically, imo, what we have to remember is that some things aren't type related, in that you may be same type as someone else, but it still depends on the person for how you behave/respond/use your functions and your personality.
    Agreed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post
    It has been said that SLI's can behave 'cruelly' towards their IEE duals. I take it that this means they do it in a overt way. However, I was thinking, IEE can behave cruel towards their duals too, but in a more covert way: by not following up things, or forgetting about their duals altogether, or taking them for granted, which might leave the SLI bewildered or frustrated.

    It is not what most people typically would consider cruel, but it might be experienced as such by an SLI.

    True? False? Any other opinions on the above?
    yeah.
    6w5 sx
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    sloan - rcuei

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    Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post
    It has been said that SLI's can behave 'cruelly' towards their IEE duals. I take it that this means they do it in a overt way. However, I was thinking, IEE can behave cruel towards their duals too, but in a more covert way: by not following up things, or forgetting about their duals altogether, or taking them for granted, which might leave the SLI bewildered or frustrated.

    It is not what most people typically would consider cruel, but it might be experienced as such by an SLI.

    True? False? Any other opinions on the above?
    Hmm. Yeah. For me, I think I sort of expect the bolded behavior from others but to think of your dual behaving that way...it might sting the heart a bit more because you expect so much more from them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post
    It has been said that SLI's can behave 'cruelly' towards their IEE duals. I take it that this means they do it in a overt way. However, I was thinking, IEE can behave cruel towards their duals too, but in a more covert way: by not following up things, or forgetting about their duals altogether, or taking them for granted, which might leave the SLI bewildered or frustrated.

    It is not what most people typically would consider cruel, but it might be experienced as such by an SLI.

    True? False? Any other opinions on the above?
    Actually, are u ISFP, but not ISTP ??
    In my experience, ISFP always need to depend on others.

    My colleague is ISFP, they always compliant that i am not care abt them.
    For example, they think i should even check the e-mail for them and tell them the content to show "the care and teamwk" when they are busy.

    It is amazing to me that thier e-mail account/ content is thier own privacy that how would i disturb thier independent ??


    But it is true that i always forget the dual / daily thing.
    Who am i?

    Haha, I am who i am.
    The adventurer, the dream maker, the creative thinker.
    I love the life and like to meet people !!

    So, let's explore the world together ~

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    This is not a good example of ENFp cruelty. You should see what i do to bunny rabbits and puppy dogs.
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin

  32. #152

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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger View Post
    This is not a good example of ENFp cruelty. You should see what i do to bunny rabbits and puppy dogs.
    Well SLI's might take it in offence, if you pet them, and go awwww
    ...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.

    INTp

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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger View Post
    This is not a good example of ENFp cruelty. You should see what i do to bunny rabbits and puppy dogs.
    By all means, go ahead!
    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

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    Quote Originally Posted by songofsappho View Post
    Where has it been said SLI's behave cruelly towards IEE's, and in what ways? [I'm sure that has been said/observed, and now my curiosity has been piqued....]
    I dunno exactly where I read it, but I do remember the larger context: SLI's were said to behave 'cruelly' in order to test their dual's loyalty or attitude towards them. It did not mean physical abuse (as I understood it), but more contrary behaviors or behaviors that I think of as mobilizing Fi.

    Anyway, I would like to know if th following counts as IEE/SLI interaction:

    a few years ago, in a state of "what the hell was I thinking?", I offered a woman I barely knew a place to sleep after a social event, so she could have some alcoholic beverages without having to worry about how to get home. In e-mails that went back and forth, she got quite rowdy (but not in a beta fashion, but rather making herself look a little silly). On the particular night, she made public that she expected a nice massage from me later that night, and even went so far as letting people know that she hadn't had sex for 7 years and that it was about time that this was taken care off, which embarrassed me, because it was all to obvious to everyone that I was to one who had to 'service' her. (Some of you might perhaps think she might have been SLE, but imho SLE's are capable of dressing it up better, thus not making themselves look foolish).

    So, after the event, I took her home, explained to her that if she wanted to stay, it was going to be a one-niter (again, what was I thinking, but I was acting very erratically those days, as my gf for five years just returned to the US three weeks before that). Needless to say, she was hurt, left, and I never heard of her or saw her again. She looked very disappointed.

    Only later I understood why all of this could have happened: on an earlier social occasion in a karaoke bar, I had a nice talk with her. Later, on the social community forum we were both part of (which I owned), I posted message in her guestbook letting her know I enjoyed meeting her, followed by a wink-smilie. I did this as part of my duties as webmaster, but apparently, she took it more seriously than I intended it to be.

    In hindsight, I felt bad about it and promised myself to be more careful in my written communication. At the time, I didn't know about Socionics, and now I'm inclined to think I missed out on a potentially rewarding individual.
    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

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    Quote Originally Posted by implied View Post
    yeah.
    as in 'yeah, sure...' :-/ ??
    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

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    Wait...so did you "service" her? I don't see what you did wrong...she just seemed really desperate and slutty.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    Wait...so did you "service" her?
    No. And I hate to think of what I've missed. Sometimes I'm so fucking honest that I screw up perfectly beautiful opportunities

    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
    I don't see what you did wrong...she just seemed really desperate and slutty.
    That's what some people said, yes. So not type related then?
    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

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    I think that when she says that she hasn't had sex in 7 years you're not really to blame for not wanting to service her. Does she not know how to create a good impression.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    I think that when she says that she hasn't had sex in 7 years you're not really to blame for not wanting to service her. Does she not know how to create a good impression.
    But I did wanted to service her! It's only that I didn't want a relationship, and I didn't want everyone to know either.
    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

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    Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post
    But I did wanted to service her! It's only that I didn't want a relationship, and I didn't want everyone to know either.
    Yeah i do this type of shit all the time. Honestly i have truly given up some really good opportunities for various dumb reasons. I had my mates sister all over me one night at a party, and because everyone was watching / mates sister i let it go. She now works for a model agency here and has got even hotter. I doubt i could handle her but i should have got some when i had a chance lol. I say just service up a storm.

    Another story from about a week ago.. I went out with my good ISTp friend and this girl from work. We had a fun night, plenty of booze and laughs. She seemed pretty into me, saying we were soul mates and all this stuff and being really close to me. So she suggests we got back to her house and we do. We order pizza and they eat a slice, she goes into her bedroom for a second and ISTp just follows her in there and closes the door. I hear them talking then about 1 hour later i hear them having sex, while im sitting in her lounge room watching the wizard of oz and trying to shut up her annoying cat. Anyway next morning i heard her wake up and go WHY WHY WHY NOOOO really loudly. This is what alcohol does to you folks. ISTp friend tries to convince me that they didn't have sex which i just said lol bullshit.

    Anyway all is fair in love and war, but i have lost a bit of respect for both of them now. Im going to her party tomorrow night and if i get the chance, hopefully i can get with someone, hopefully one of her friends. I certianlly wont be keeping the ISTp company much.
    Last edited by meatburger; 12-04-2008 at 11:16 PM.
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin

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