The theory is that IEEs get bored easily in relationships, always on the lookout for new possibilities, but that we remain intrigued and interested in SLIs because they are so reserved and hard to read.
The theory is that IEEs get bored easily in relationships, always on the lookout for new possibilities, but that we remain intrigued and interested in SLIs because they are so reserved and hard to read.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
Am I? Or am I?Originally Posted by Slacker
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Sounds dysfunctional... maybe even cruel on both sides. Why can't they cut the bullshit and establish some Fi connection?
We are stubborn, boring, lazy motherfuckers, set in our ways, strong-willed, hard to read, inflexible, crass, no-fun couch potato killjoys. What's there not to like?
Last edited by Park; 05-01-2012 at 02:42 AM.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Well, the SLI, using Te and showing how things work, will usually tell the IEE what do to and the IEE picking up on the Te with mobilizing, will start doing it; the IEE, with their Fi, activate that function of an SLI, the SLI mobilizes to join in; example...Parkster's emotions get hurt and he expresses them in an indirect and hidden way, the IEE picks that up and asks him if he would like to talk about his problems.
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Dual type(as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Tell it like it is, Maritsa.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
I'm most of those things, I guess. But I'll make an effort with people who mean something. It's fucked up to expect someone to like me for the negatives. Either that, or some people shake me out of it and help me see myself in a better light. What I could be.
That's an interesting interpretation of it. It isns't cruel or dysfunctional in practice. We have a strong connection and communicate well. He's just reserved.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
i'm a reserved person too. i guess it just sounds bad looking from the outside.
Well, everybody is different, and there are positive and negative aspects to every personality trait. People who are very outgoing and open can be fun and easy to establish a relationship with, but OTOH it can be intense to spend a lot of time with them if they are "on" a lot of the time. People who are reserved might require more work to get to know and to connect with, but the end result can be a really nice lovely relationship. One is not intrinsically better than the other. How good those personality traits are is determined by how they relate to others.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
Do IEEs get bored so very easily? Like, they meet someone... find them interesting... figure them out (or feel they have)... and move on?
And, how does an IEE become interested in an SLI in the first place? What draws them (I ask this because it looks to me like SLIs are, well, very ordinary, maybe boring -- no offense!! -- from the outside).
And what do SLIs think? Input??
I support this description.
Extroverts are usually so ...out there... in one way or another. It's easy to learn a lot about them in a short time, either through their conversations or their actions. There's usually so much of it!
Once you learn about them...boring!
But with introverts, it takes more time, requires more digging around to learn about them. There's more going on inside their heads than what is being said or done.
An ethical type, regardless of E/I, is more likely to talk about what's going on intra-personally or inter-personally. Which makes it rather easy conversation for another ethical type. And it makes it easier to get down into the deeper psyche than one normally would.
But take someone who interacts with and views the world through completely different (but complimentary) lenses, AND rarely provides a window into his/her mind?? The monkey's claw trap has been set! The IEE would want to maintain lines of communication and chances to observe this mysterious creature, in the hopes of being allowed another insight. Letting go of this gem is difficult, particularly when the curiosity is only satisfied in bits and pieces here and there. Like reading a good book one paragraph or page per week. You get just enough to chew on, but always left craving for more. It's enough to drive one batty!
But also, it,s not just the hyped up curiosity intrigued, this person who is so different, yet similar....also provides a sense of grounding. Being with them is relaxing, you don't have to watch everything you say or do. They might laugh and look at you funny...or grumble about yet ANOTHER hobby being started...but there's a sense of acceptance, even support, allowing you to be...You. And might even be there to tug you back to earth when your going manic...or maybe even provide a bit of cushioning or support when you inevitably fall. Even better though is when they can quickly grasp what you're hoping to do, and can/will provide you some of the info or help needed to more likely achieve it.
<3
IEE 649 sx/sp cp
Yes.
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
Agreed with @WorkaholicsAnon .
I get turned off by people that are difficult to read. It makes me prod the person more for answers. If one continues to be sending unclear messages after prodding them, I won't associate with that person any more.
My first date was like that so I concluded she wasn't worth my trouble.
Well, I'm an extremely open person...and I find that in situations with people who are closed off like that, I am simply open about myself..and if they reciprocate, great. I guess I prefer short psychological distance. All I can do when someone is closed off is be open and if they open up too, awesome.I do get a bit frustrated when others are so elusive sometimes, but...I figure there is a reason.
And I would hide my face in you and you would hide your face in me, and nobody would ever see us any more.
Alot of introversion/extroversion stereotyping.
Perhaps offer greater wisdom then.
And I would hide my face in you and you would hide your face in me, and nobody would ever see us any more.
Hey new IEE here! I typically feel that I have to put on a bit of a show for people upon first meeting, most likely due to my pathological need for acceptance. I have found that when interacting with SLIs, I pick up on the fact that they don't require or pressure me to be a constant sense of entertainment like many other types do. I can let down my guard and just sorta be present with them in the moment, which is essentially the same as reversing gravity when I'm on my own or with Si-devaluing types. Also, they tend to be sarcastic or apply dry humour to balance out my zany, off the wall ideas. They don't actively show it, but I can tell that they are secretly enjoying the spontaneous adventures and activities that I suggest. After becoming close to my best friend who is SLI, I started picking up some of his mannerisms and behaviors to the point where people remarked on how similar we are despite the fact that we are QUITE different people.
I have also found that after undergoing the process of dualization it is much easier to develop a sort of dual radar which detects potential SLI vibes. Also, I notice that SLIs occasionally break standard personality protocol, and strike up conversations with me. This happens most frequently when I am rambling in a Ne manner, or operating in "silly-switch" mode. It's almost as if they can't resist being part of the outrageousness of certain situations. Te- SLIs, also seem to be much easier for me to identify, which is odd because I believe I'm a Ne-IEE. I spose this is due to the fact that Te-SLIs tend to be a bit more outwardly guarded, and mechanical minded in my experiences. Si-SLIs on the other hand, can appear much more similar at first glance to a myriad of other types and as such are much harder for me to identify. The two Si-SLIs that I have known are both very into Buddhist principles, aestheticism, outdoor activities, and even acting. They are incredibly optimistic, often much more so than myself.
What can i say... i've made very similar observations as you...
Thanks for the extra insights though! Especially about Te- vs Si-SLIs..
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
Possible SLI here... with questions about IEE-SLI duality
Hello Delta people.
I believe I am SLI (not sure of subtype). It was a type I considered a while ago, along with a few others, and now that two tests and several friends' opinions have "confirmed" that SLI fits me well.
So, hello.
I have a question about SLI-IEE duality. I know it's not supposed to be magical or glittery or whatever. But I am wondering about how it tends to go (particularly for male IEEs and female SLIs in possible dating scenarios, since that's my situation, but info about any gender/sexuality combo is welcome
There's a guy I know who I believe to be IEE, but I'm not sure and we are not close. Actually I'm not sure what is happening right now, as I almost feel he is being standoffish with me (lol @ the irony of me saying that about someone else) and I am not sure why. But I also feel powerless to do anything about it lest I make myself look like a moron.
Tips? Stories? Anyone ever have a duality "stall," or is this abnormal for duality.
(Disclaimer: I realize he may not be my dual. Regardless, I'm curious about whether anyone else has experienced similar hangups in what actually is/was duality, and what happened as a result.)
Well i am a girl, but one thing i can add is that when i really like a guy to the point that i am nervous around him, i do end up acting a little standoffish, just because i feel awkward, self-conscious, and shy, and i dont want to be TOO obvious. Also, if he is with a bunch of people that i dont necessarily associate with, i will feel that way even more and there is no way i'd go over and talk to him. If he is by himself, it's more likely.
If i've gotten some signals of interest from him, and he is by himself looking like he's lonely or wants to talk to me, then i will DEFINITELY make a move. It might take a couple sightings before i convince myself to do it, though.
Signals of interest include but are not limited to: a hot stare, gravitating to me (like trying to sit next to me whenever he can), supporting me in various situations, etc. The SLI hot stare... it hooks me forever--not easily forgotten.
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
As an Ne subtype, I do have a tendency to be a bit psychologically distant from other people. Often, I can also be unsure of how I feel about a specific person because that judgement is very situational and I may or may not relate to a person at any given time.
So I can understand there being a frustration with the other unintentionally sending mixed signals. Maybe its because of the lack of a net positive signal (in other words, his mood and energy may fluctuate a lot, but he show great signs of interest) from this supposed IEE that annoys you?
From my experience as an IEE (probably Ne subtype), I dated an SLI-Te girl last year in college. I sat behind her in class on the first day, and asked her what I had missed because I managed to only make the last 5 minutes of class due to my complete lack of navigational prowess. We found out that we lived in the same apartment complex, and we ended up hanging out later that night and hooking up. Alcohol definitely helped skip the typically awkward phase of making moves. We ended up dating for about a month and it was the most comfortable relationship I have ever been in. Unfortunately, I was not in a healthy mindset at the time due to a lot going on in my life, and I didn't want to let anyone get too close, so I broke up with her. I could tell she was pretty hurt, but she didn't show it. Looking back, it is one of the biggest regrets I have.
She moved to Colorado at the end of the year, and I transferred universities. I have since met another girl in my math class who I am fairly certain is an SLI, and it definitely took some time for me to initiate contact. I eventually bit the bullet and asked if she wanted to study together. We hit it off instantly and talked for four hours straight, but she has a boyfriend in the Military, so I have become more standoffish to prevent myself from developing feelings and not having them reciprocated.
I find it extremely difficult to strike up conversation with female SLIs unless there is some shared activity, or we are hanging out in the same group. Once the initial barrier has been breached, interaction becomes extremely natural, and a sense of shared mission is felt. The nonverbal communication is what really differentiates my interaction with female duals from interactions with other types. After getting to know each other, talking is barely necessary, as it seems that we are almost communicating telepathically.
DITTO. I find it to be true with both females and males in my case.
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
Maybe you should take the initiative and approach him.
Unless it really clicks right off the bat, a relationship between duals begins just as unglamorously as any other relationship. At least one side has to make a push to get to know the other, otherwise not much will happen. I've known a few ISTps who I've never felt drawn to very strongly, so we never got as close as we could.
Yeah that's great advice actually...
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
Hello,
As a IEE I can tell you what to do. Ask him to do something, like going out for a beer or a meal, ask him when you two are alone together. It will not be weird, and don't make it obvious that you are interested in him, let him read you (because he will be reading you.. all the time), give him hints that you are into him. One thing is touch, if you can touch his arm while saying good bye, he will fall for you.
Starting relationship with IEE is easy, it's not giving up that is the hard part.
At one point in the relationship, he might test you. The biggest test, is the break-up. He might try to "white wolf" you.
The problem with IEE is that we have great showmanship. What I mean to say is that we often appear to be more then we really are, and this is conscious.
So, at one point, he will either try to show you who is really is, or else, try to break it off thinking that openning up to you will make you love him less.
I had a lot of different girl friends and I always said that, : The one for me will take me back after I turned her away.
Because we often go back to the girls we loved.
Here is my 2 cents.
I hope this is usefull.
I try to make legitimate excuses to strike up a conversation with people. For example, complaining openly to an idly waiting person about the setup in a cafeteria that has a queue going RIGHT ACROSS the main entrance AND exit.
When all else fails, I ask a person if he or she is somebody I've seen before
I try to make legitimate excuses to strike up a conversation with people. For example, complaining openly to an idly waiting person about the setup in a cafeteria that has a queue going RIGHT ACROSS the main entrance AND exit.
When all else fails, I ask a person if he or she is somebody I've seen before
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
google gives no results for "to white wolf someone"
IEEs say cryptic things as well. I found this: Click me.
so it means to turn someone into a vampire nerd
And I would hide my face in you and you would hide your face in me, and nobody would ever see us any more.
croatic
White wolf, it's in the latest episode of The New Girl.
White wolf is an actual book where a boy gets a wolf to be his pet, but has to get rid of it, even tho he loves it, because it's the best thing to do.
Its pushing someone away because you think you are bad for them.
Even tho they love you...
This happened to be so many times.
I get the girl to fall in love with me, then I beleve she likes me for the wrong reasons, and I break it off saying that it's because i'm a fraud and she is better off without me.
Its very childish.
I was with a lot of caregivers.
Like a serial monogamist.
And I often break it up for logical reason, but then regret it later on.
I always come back to my ex, and it always fails.
So.. IEE's, rings a bell?
(I might be ILE, not sure i can found my type on my own. My coloc thinks i'm ILE)
Thanks for the responses.
I'm still getting to understand all this, while acting as myself and then contemplating it all later with socionics in mind....
@Galen and @Destroypuppy, you say approach him... but, eh, really? I have approached guys in the past and come to the conclusion that despite what some of them say, their actions show they prefer to be the asker, rather than the askee (based on my experience and observations with other women approaching as well). Is this not the case? I would think it would apply even more w extraverts. And especially w ExFx's.
Anyway, I'm taking this as a practical experiment in duality as much as anything (but with hopes for more, I confess). We'll see....
But they like to be surprised with the unorthodox or unexpected.their actions show they prefer to be the asker, rather than the askee
But it has to be natural.
Plan B, make sure he knows your interested by telling other people.
If he knows he can't fail, he will make a move.
Specially if he has been alone for a while.
Will keep this in mind.
First thought: yikkkkkes. I actively don't do this; actually I present a deliberately neutral response about someone I like to others, unless the other people are good friends of mine (unfortunately in this case we don't have mutual friends outside of work). I will keep in in mind as well though, thanksPlan B, make sure he knows your interested by telling other people.
Last edited by Anna1921; 05-13-2012 at 01:31 AM.
Then don't.
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