“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaďs Nin
I have to go to sleep. See you guys tomorrow.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
If your like me, you'll probably come up with something on the spot. I'm very spontaneous. But for what its worth I would maybe do this:
Pay a visit with the off the cuff, and valid reason to see the car again (have you bought yet..i think you said you haven't?!)
Chat to her for a bit. Keep eye contact. Remember to smile at various points through coversation.
Then casually slip in to the conversation;
'I had real busy weekend there, what about you?' Try and get to talk about her social life a bit..you'll be finding out what nights she's free over the next few days.
She answers..if she says she was out with her boyfriend then you know you won't get out with her (but all you've done is made small talk, so no embarrassment occurs for you) If not, then you say
'What, you didn't have a knight in shining armour take you out? A stunner like you?' Remember to smile-you are flirting and complimenting. This should make her laugh and will at least appreciate the compliment (even secretly she will)
She answers some stuff or just laughs.
You say,
'You know theres this lovely Italian restaurant I know. I haven't been in ages. We should go on [insert day you know she's free from earlier in conversation]'
Then see what she says! Voiala!
I think I 'll pay her a visit, be nice and try to get things going.
In case I fail to find the guts to guide the conversation, I could send there someone (a friend) later to tell her I appreciated her help and wanted to ask her out for a drink but I felt too embarrassed to do so. Or something like that. What do you think?
ps. She's a little older than me, 4-6 years maybe, which makes the situation even harder for me.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
I think most would tell you its not a good idea. Shows a lack of courage and puts your friend in a strange situation. Funnily enough as an ENFp i would think it was cute and it would work though.I could send there someone (a friend) later to tell her I appreciated her help and wanted to ask her out for a drink but I felt too embarrassed to do so. Or something like that. What do you think?
Older than you is so much better. Probably less immature and knows what they want.ps. She's a little older than me, 4-6 years maybe, which makes the situation even harder for me.
ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaďs Nin
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
That would be one of a few things that could screw up your situation with the chick.
I didn't think I'd have to explain at all what I meant...lol. But just because I feel it may be worth it.I'm sure there's more but I can't think of any that are really as important as these I've listed.
- You'd look like a spineless wimp, for lack of a better word.
- You'd pretty much show how insecure you are... it would be hard to see it as shy after a certain point.
- She'd be like WTF?!? when someone else started talking about a conversation or chit-chat that you had. (causes trust issues right off the bat = not good)
- Your friend may be a person she doesn't like and this puts you in a bad light.
- Your friend may show more balls than you and pick her up... a bit later on you'll see him bringing her to the next party you see him at... (Screw that.)
You also mentioned:
While you may "think" that she "thinks" this may be "cute"... there's reeeeeeally no way she'd take it as a good thing showing lack of courage in this sense... Then again, there's some women that are different than most so I will just say this is just my opinion here and I don't know everything...lol I just know 9/10 times it wouldn't be taken in a good way.Originally Posted by winterpark
I just hope at some point you're actually gonna do something, instead of just posting about it...lol
k, mister crackasanova. I appreciate your help, and what you say makes sense. I am as inexperienced in relationships as it gets, so yeah, I am insecure. But should I "hide" my insecurities? And what would you say about getting advice from friends, a good idea, or a bad one? (Oops, I shouldn't have asked that, lol)
Haha, the thought of not doing anything (which isn't unlikely) scares the shit out of me. But why the fuck do I always quit in situations like this? I should go ahead take the initiative and do something for once for god sakes.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
If someone were to ask me out, i'd feel flattered that they found me attractive.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
are you going to keep beating about the bush, or are you finally going to call her up? This sounds like you're procrastinating and by the time you are ready, someone else has courted her and is banging her! Is that what you want?
You want to work on your fear of being rejected? I can't think of another way of overcoming it then going through the ordeal: ask her! Chances are that you will be rejected, but you will also find out that such a rejection is not as bad as it sounds. A police office on COPS once said: the difference between a hero and a coward is that a hero, despite his fears, will do what has to be done. Do not try to push away your fear. Perhaps this exercise is helpful:
just before you call her up, close your eyes and imagine a situation in which she is physically is present and alone with you. Then say to her: "Listen, I want to ask you out for a drink, but it's difficult for me, because I'm afraid you will reject me." Then see how she responds. See what happens within you.
By the way, do you have any idea why you are afraid of failure and rejection?
Last edited by consentingadult; 02-09-2008 at 02:15 PM.
“I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking
Haha, definitely not! I will go there first thing monday. I must.
I haven't thought of that but it sounds like a great idea.
Hmm, I don't know. That's how I am, it devastates me emotionally. I am usually certain and confident in the things I do but when I feel incompetent and uncertain about something I usually end up quiting and saying to myself "fuck this, I can't do this, who am I kidding". That gives me a temporal emotional relief but later on I feel sorry for myself and hate myslef for being this way.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
btw, where did cracka's latest post go?
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
hahaha... Well, last night I went in to edit it and add some other shit into it. By the time I was done I decided I didn't like it anymore...lol I ended up hitting delete post and then forgot that I'd just hit edit instead of reply. *posting while extremely intoxicated is probably not the best way to make a point here. It may even be in the archive since I think deleted posts get saved before getting deleted. I'll c if mcnew can pm it to me and i'll put it back up.
Elro pm'd me a video he took of me showing how things went down...lol For those that haven't been here long enough, I used to be a squirrel on this forum at some point.
maybe this helps.
it's always appreciated to be open and honest, and you don't make a fool out of yourself if you show your well meant motives.
Tell her:
"I would like to be honest to you, I liked the conversation and I think it would be nice if we could talk again sometime, if that is possible. If not then ofcourse no problem."
Try to get her phonenumber.
ps: in a book I read, this approach gives a 50% score with any single stranger you meet.
That squirrel is shitfaced..
Winterpark. Just stroll in all confident like. Wink at her, put your portable cd player on a car and crank this song, while pointing and dancing seductively
Anyway ur best bet isn't to work it up in your mind, try to make is as casual as u can
ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaďs Nin
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
yeah, so just be your super calm and relaxed self, look her right in eye, smile and ask her. Think of when Peter asks the waitress out in the movie office space. guy acted like he just got done fucking or something.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
My friend has absolutely no fear of approaching women or rejection. He just talks to them.
Chicks dig ISTp
ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaďs Nin
Heck with it all man... Walk in there and just say, "I'd like to hit that tonight if you don't have anything going on."
Just prepare yourself to pass out if she says: "ok."
Hahahaha...
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
Just go for it. If she blows you off you'll never see her again anyway.
Go for it dude. If she's not interested it ain't the end of the world. Just means she's frigid haha
Well guys, I went there today. She was there, but I didn't get the chance to talk to her, unfortunately. She was with a customer when I entered. She saw me but didn't react in any way. There was this stupid sales guy I came across instead and got stuck with him the whole time. I stayed there for about an hour, looking at the cars and talking to the guy, waiting to get the chance to talk to the girl, but I didn't. We made a short eye contact a couple of times. I wanted to at least say hello or something but I didn't find the right moment (and I didn't feel like waving my hand to greet her or do some ridiculous acrobation ). What I realized was that she 's (probably) the same with everyone and she was just doing her job. I mean she spent as much if not more time with her current customer as she did with me the other day... (they were still talking when I quit)
I don't think she's interested, I don't think she even remembers me, my friend thinks she 's probably married, but I think I 'll give it another try because, I AM interested, I do remember her and I hope she's not married.
What do you think?
by the way, I still don't know her name, and I don't see how I could show up there again without being ready to actually buy a car.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
You should stop waiting for "the right time", you're overthinking this. Just go up to her and ask her politely what you need to know. I guess it's easier said then done neh?
"Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."
- Voltaire
Your post doesn't make much sense, actually. I have manners, I can't just walk up to her in front of the others and interrupt her conversation like a moron.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
I didn't say to do that, I'm just saying if you're waiting for the right time all the time, it'll never come.
"Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."
- Voltaire