I recently got together with my ILE uncle for a recording session and I thought that our interaction during that time clarified for me just what I love about duality (and what I can’t quite put into words).
My uncle records jingles and things like that – so he sometimes gets me to play the violin or piano for them. He is so perfectionistic or idealistic about getting the exact right sound he’s after. He completely loses track of time – we could just go on forever recording take after take. :-) I love that. I love that he doesn’t patronise me or under-estimate my abilities. He seems to know what I am capable of and pushes me to strive for it. Not in a callous way though. He knows when I’m getting frustrated even though I don’t show it much. I am also very much a perfectionist – a lazy one though :-( – and I find ‘vision’ (for lack of a better word) extremely motivating. And enthusiasm. They make me come alive and forget about the present as much as it is possible for me to do so. I am still very much aware of time passing by (even if he isn’t), but I couldn’t care less.
What Expat wrote regarding Ne (“how to shape the present reality into something closer to our wishes”) made me realise that this is why Si and Ne work so well together. Like with my uncle and I – I’d do take after take, and we’d both agree when they weren’t quite right – but I generally couldn’t tell exactly what was missing, and he would suggest changes based on some ‘vision’ he had in his head of the sound he was trying to achieve. He would be moulding my playing (present reality) into something closer to his wishes. And on the flip side, if he didn’t know how to put into words the effect he was after, he would encourage me to play around (in real time) with effects until I lit upon one that matched what he was after. I have to fall back on Expat’s description again because it is just perfect – “the Si flow is good; Ne snapshots show how to make it better. If you are caught only in the Si flow: you’ll never make it better. If you are caught only in the Ne snapshots: you’ll never come ‘down to earth’ to enjoy the peace of a dynamic Si flow.” If I was working by myself, I would soon get frustrated/bored with my lack of vision and probably settle for a result that didn’t measure up to my standards. So it’s a perfect partnership, and we motivate each other.
Anyway, these are just some aspects of ILE/SEI duality that mean a lot to me - ones that I think are often overlooked. Also, I think some people tend to think – actually I should just speak for myself …. I used to think that duality was more based on a fascination and appreciation for functions that you could never really understand - but now I’m realising that it is quite possible to not be able to wrap your head around a person’s mental processes whilst still being able to intuit what the person is thinking/feeling. I love this about duality. There is an unspoken understanding of each other. I don’t have to worry about my words and actions being misinterpreted. I think ILEs are the only types (with the possible exception of my identicals) who see me for exactly who I am. No better, no worse. I feel like all the other types, including other Alphas, have a slightly or significantly skewed view of my personality. They blow some aspects of my personality out of proportion, zoom in on some characteristics, minimise others …. I realise that this is something we all do, being that we can only look at each other through our subjective lenses, but anyway. That’s how I feel.