Stress, INTps and not having any emotions/feeling numbness

[muppy]

My INTp friend is going through an emotionally stressful time. He confided in me that he can't feel anything and thinks that makes him defective. Do other INTp's experience this? And if so, why does it happen and how can I help get him through it?

Thanks!

[aestrivex]

My INTp friend is going through an emotionally stressful time. He confided in me that he can't feel anything.

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[Creepy-Diana]

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[betterthandead]

yomama

[liveandletlive]

My INTp friend is going through an emotionally stressful time. He confided in me that he can't feel anything and thinks that makes him defective. Do other INTp's experience this? And if so, why does it happen and how can I help get him through it?

Thanks!

It happens to I'd say pretty much all types when going through an emotionally stressful time. When there's just too much for you to take on emotionally, you go numb. You can't feel, can't emphathize, can't care, and you might even find yourself laughing when you hear of tragedies, because it just seems comical that yet another thing is going wrong.

It happens simply because you're dealing with more than you can reasonably process at any one time. It's kind of nice to go empty/numb whatever you want to call it sometimes, frees you up from the burden of emotion long enough to deal with whatever it is you need to handle. He's not defective.

hmmm... idk if i agree with this. i know for me at least if going through an emotionally stressful time my emotions go on overload to the point where they become very overwhelming and somewhat scary for me, seeing as I feel as if I'm not in control of them. I think you should talk to your afraid about it... kinda push him to talk about how he feels by prompting him- so are you mad at so and so? whatever. he needs to let it out, and you can help him to make sense of his emotions.

[machintruc]

My INTp friend is going through an emotionally stressful time.

ILI's are so sensitive...

[reyn_til_runa]

My INTp friend is going through an emotionally stressful time. He confided in me that he can't feel anything and thinks that makes him defective. Do other INTp's experience this? And if so, why does it happen and how can I help get him through it?

Thanks!

here are some of the reasons i tend to experience numbness:

overstimulation (by elements of physical environment, including people). this type of numbness tends to decrease with positive environmental changes (usually a decrease in whatever is causing the sensory overload)

Depression (numbness tends to be more enduring and less escapable with depression)

and under depression:

not having energy to do the things i want or need to do (and starting to notice the neg. consequences, but feeling powerless to change anything), especially following personal interests/desires, but also including work related responsibility

not having the ability to maintain relationships (yet feeling forced to maintain a few i don't really care about for the sake of work, family, etc) and the guilt, loneliness, apathy, self protective behavior that follows

having sex without understanding what it means to be in an equal, healthy relationship (repeatedly), feeling relief after sex, liking/being very interested in a person, thinking this is enough to sustain something, then having the person go away as a matter of course. like, yesterday this person is very much a part of your life, the next, this person is absent. a pattern of unfulfilled/unstable relationships has made me extremely numb at times. and to be fair, sometimes i am the absent one and i can't make myself resurface after awhile because i can't make myself actively care. it feels like a switch goes down, and the person is a bug on my tv screen.

working on auto-pilot and becoming aware of it (completing routine duties without thinking, feeling stuck, bored, making stupid errors because you are mentally/emotionally "checked out").

i may think of others, but that's a start.

any of these possibilities for your friend? or maybe there was some triggering event? i think more info. would help.

[Mediator Kam]

Agreed, INTP's have a problem with .

What I've seen is that INTP's hold in any emotions they might be feeling, and then if it gets too much, it explodes.

[Quirk Satellite Div.]

My INTp friend is going through an emotionally stressful time. He confided in me that he can't feel anything and thinks that makes him defective. Do other INTp's experience this? And if so, why does it happen and how can I help get him through it?

How is an emotionally stressful time any different from a stressful period of time? Can't feel anything? I would recommend going to see a doctor rather than asking a bunch of forum-goers. :wink: INTp's are usually depressed, in the casual sense of the word. The correlation you asking about is nothing more than this sour mood being described with a poetic touch.

[muppy]

He's having problems with his wife (ENFj, I think). They both have a history of infidelity. This time fault lies with him. He said that he knows he should feel bad, but he doesn't feel anything at all. He's been occupying himself with "busy" work because his mind won't shut off. I guess it doesn't really matter anymore if I can help him or not because he asked me for space this afternoon. He said that I make him feel too good about everything and he needs to feel bad. I think he's wrong, but I respect his decision.

Sorry I didn't know this wasn't type related. It seemed to me that it would be because becoming numb has *NEVER* been a problem of mine or most of my friends. I still think it might be type related, but I might be leaving out some critical piece of information without realizing it. I've been grasping at straws trying to help him so hopefully that explains my desperation about posting here.

Oh and he did mention he was to start counseling today so...

[liveandletlive]

an ILI in counseling sounds like a comical experience for the observer if u ask me

hope everything works out for your friend- it sounds like he wasn't in a healthy relationship.

[discojoe]

My INTp friend is going through an emotionally stressful time. He confided in me that he can't feel anything and thinks that makes him defective. Do other INTp's experience this? And if so, why does it happen and how can I help get him through it?

Thanks!

It happens to I'd say pretty much all types when going through an emotionally stressful time. When there's just too much for you to take on emotionally, you go numb. You can't feel, can't emphathize, can't care, and you might even find yourself laughing when you hear of tragedies, because it just seems comical that yet another thing is going wrong.

It happens simply because you're dealing with more than you can reasonably process at any one time. It's kind of nice to go empty/numb whatever you want to call it sometimes, frees you up from the burden of emotion long enough to deal with whatever it is you need to handle. He's not defective.

Yeah... pretty much. The human brain is analogously akin to a computer in this regard, needing a "reboot" every now and then as a general cure-all for various symptoms and maladies. This reboot can either be a night's rest, or a slow process of several days or weeks, as you slowly assimilate traumatic or upsetting information.

[KSpin]

If he's doing something to stop himself feeling guilty, then surely he's trying not to feel guilty, but failing?

He doesn't like the feeling of guilt, and is trying to pretend that it doesn't exist.

Oh, and hi again guys.

[Christy B]

I have an INTP friend who is pretty depressed right now. I want to know how I can help her. . .

She gets stressed and then depressed and then her mind starts creating conspiracy theories involving the US government-CIA, and about how her family is trying to harm her. (Apparently her family really is in the CIA, but her theories can get really bizarre). She has very active Ni and is really a genius in many ways- seems to go toward all negative possibilities when under stress though, and then becomes paranoid.

Also I have noticed that she can get promiscuous at high stress times. Recently she has been hooking up with guys who she didn't even know an hour earlier in the night. Under stress her judgment on what is appropriate sexually is skewed, and later she regrets her decisions- yet she will still go out and end up in a similar situation frequently.

As I said earlier I want to help her, and since it seems like she is fine until she gets stressed/depressed I was wondering if people here know what I can do to help her not get stressed. . . How do I de-stress an INTP? Let her know everything is “OK”.

[BLauritson]

For one particular armchair psychologist's opinion (I doubt many of us here are anything more than that ), forget Socionics and get this INTp sent to a medical professional. Stress and depression are horrible states of mind to be in as it is, but if she's making harmful judgements then I'd suggest getting her seen by a doctor or a psychiatrist ASAP.

[Christy B]

For one particular armchair psychologist's opinion (I doubt many of us here are anything more than that ), forget Socionics and get this INTp sent to a medical professional. Stress and depression are horrible states of mind to be in as it is, but if she's making harmful judgements then I'd suggest getting her seen by a doctor or a psychiatrist ASAP.

Good point. You are right.
Thanks. : )