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Thread: The pathetic hidden agenda

  1. #201
    Washington delenda est totalize's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bertrand View Post
    to transcend appearance and find fulfillment in time I think is the ultimate mission of every ego, regardless of S/I preference because its the work only their 4d functions can provide for society. I know a SLI who is retired from his first job who acts as a custodian for my apartment complex... he's into his later years, by all acounts a low social position but he is truly happy and he is truly doing the work that transcends appearance. he gets here super early and I never see him not doing something useful. he's probably 90% responsible for this place not falling apart. he might be the wisest person here. he is not stupid. if people only knew they would envy him
    it reminds me a LOT of humans of new york for some reason

    "I worked many jobs, but I lost my job. That was a bad time - a really bad time. But now I'm good. Just good. I get satisfaction from feeding the dogs in the park. It's great like that."


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    Delilah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Expat View Post
    The focus on one's hidden agenda is also manifested in a "patting yourself on the back" way, when you are reassuring others that you are actually good in doing something, but it's painfully obvious to others that you are above all reassuring yourself and not doing a good job at it - and by doing that, you end up behaving in a pathetic way.

    So:

    : behavior aimed at showing how popular and liked by the crowd you are, but that is actually making you look like an ass.

    : unshakeable and stubborn defense of ideas and beliefs against all opposition, with unwillingness to even discuss the possibility of their not being correct

    unshakeable and stubborn unwillingness to compromise on personal behavior and principles against all opposition in a social situation

    : behavior aimed at showing how competent you are in handling practical and financial affairs, or in how much knowledge in a particular subject you have, but painfully focusing on non-essentials to the point made

    : unshakeable belief that you know exactly what is going to happen in your life in a given situation, or precipitated action since you know that "now is the time to act", but ending up shooting your own foot in both cases

    : behavior aimed at showing how successful, rich, or physically strong and brave and confrontational you are, when others can see you're none of them

    : showing off how wiser you are than others in taking care of your health by good food and avoiding personal risks, but making you look like a paranoid pussy-wimp. Also, an essentially unphysical person trying to show off how they master daily details in administration, maintainance, housekeeping, etc

    : behavior aiming at showing how original and creative you can be, but making too much out of obvious and trivial ideas.

    So if you see someone behaving in a pathetic way, just remember -- on other occasions, it's you doing it.
    The parts i've bolded seem essentially the same to me. I wonder if anyone else noticed this?
    "Inasmuch as it is nothing but pure communicability, every face, even the most noble and beautiful, is always suspended on the edge of an abyss"

  3. #203
    Bertrand's Avatar
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    well sometimes they go together, but a better way to separate them out so as to see them more clearly is to think of someone with strong Te and weak Si or vice versa. I have a LII friend, he's totally fine with practical and financial affairs in the sense he's got his budget more or less functional and equilibrated (not saying he does a ton of paperwork, but hes got it straight in his head... if his car breaks down he knows what to do, he knows where stuff is and how its arranged and generally a solid grasp on how stuff works), but when it comes to actually doing the stuff, he's sort of awkward, makes a big deal about things I consider trivial, has good theoretical knowledge of practical stuff and can execute, but over estimates the importance of specific details in a way that is not bad or counterproductive but just kind of amusing that he gets such a kick out of it. sort of like over emphasis on how signficant this or that physical factor is, and while its not totally irrelevant, the attention he pays to it is slightly out of whack, like hes thought too hard about it. the kind of person that would draw attention to how they handled daily task x or health issue y but that overdid it in a way that betrays the fact they're actually not as on top of that area as they'd like to be seen. for example he goes to the doctor for every little thing. this is not a bad idea in theory but its like if you bump your arm its not that big a deal. its not so out of whack that he ignores it or goes totally nuts, its like low level constant attention that is slightly oversensitive

    the SEI version of this is like being able to know all about physical states and what is what, but not really availing yourself to the technology and methods because you don't fully understand it or know whats out there. so like the perception is generally accurate, but the organization and planning is weak. generally has a better sense of what is major/minor in terms of Si, but has a weak idea of all the ways in which it could be handled. LII has a strong catalogue of possibilities and knowledge to draw on, but doesn't fully see the initial issue in all its clarity. you can see how they kind of go together, one can tell the other x or y is no big deal and the other can correct them on how best to handle it if its determined to be a big deal, the issue with activity is its almost too much because its so direct. duals handle these sort of things in a similar fashion but more automatically and subtly in a way that is smooth and doesn't call attention to the others weakness directly, so even though the help is appreciated in activity it can be kind of "harsh" on the 3rd function, because the difference between mirrors is the other does what the one talks about, so you get a lot of talk on the 3rd function which can be painful or embarrassing, whereas the dual just does it

    I also think this goes to the EII/IEE thing you've been thinking about lately. a lot of people expect IEE to like I dunno not talk about "EII stuff" but in fact my experience is IEEs talk about it more in many ways

  4. #204
    a two horned unicorn renegade Troll Nr 007's Avatar
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    One example EII: tries to take care of it all. Health starts to deteriorate, lots of visits to a doctor. The main reason for pretty much everything seems to be a stress. An EII tried to teach me how to iron. (I just couldn't wrap my head around over the thing because it seemed pretty much something you could experimentally learn... if you needed... just some testing and...)
    Quote Originally Posted by Groucho Marx
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    aushra had this to say which I think is relevant

    These same standards refer to the well-being of a person. Sensorik trusts his feelings and does not doubt when he is healthy, when he is ill: he is "feeling". This doctor must obey his concrete, real sensations, and not he unreasonable diagnoses of the doctor. If one doctor "did not find anything", he achieves his and goes to another. Intuitive, their own feelings seem less objective than diagnosis of a doctor. The diagnosis is a "normative", and it behaves accordingly to the diagnosis, and not according to the state of health.

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    Kind of funny with the Pathetic Hidden Agenda (Fe/To Be Loved here), I was really annoyed and I projected my own fear of being embarrassed onto someone else - even though I "won" the argument, I still looked like an ass.
    783-so/sp

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    @Doggy ILEs tend to place things and others at the centre of perspective; their values and personal needs seem to be an afterthought to their primary interests although they do seem to have lots of wants. When ILEs consider their own needs, their perspectives can often have deep rooted concerns about how others would react. ILEs tend to realize a need for caregivers or people that will provide personal support because they don't want to be bothered themselves. Therefore, they occasionally tear themselves away from their own thoughts and make feeble attempts to woo supporters to their side, and it is this that is construed as needing “to be loved”.

    a.k.a. I/O
    Last edited by Rebelondeck; 05-06-2019 at 03:33 PM. Reason: had woe but meant woo

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Therefore, they occasionally tear themselves away from their own thoughts and make feeble attempts to woe supporters to their side, and it is this that is construed as needing “to be loved”.
    Yeah, this is pretty much it - I end up alone with my thoughts pretty often and I want external validation for my ideas that are a bit... out there.
    783-so/sp

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