The positive aspects of LIIs-INTjs as romance material

[mike_INTJ]

i've seen it around on this board that people actually like INTJ's. i've looked at many sites at ideal mates, and though i didn' t look really hard, intj is rarily mentioned as something positive in romance.

what i'd like to know is - (male/female) (though perferably from a female that like's INTJ's): what do you like about INTJ's?

i'm trying to figure out if i'm masking the wrong things. they say to be yourself, but i havn't figured out what myself is; as i change my basic matrix every few months to fit new paradigms.

since we are so quiet, and rarily ever blend - what makes someone want to go over to the shy guy off to one corner, staring at this and that?

thanks

[Waddlesworth]

This is more about female INTj's, but there are bound to be similarities. I've noticed INTj's don't shy away from things like morbid humor and are rarely offended by lude behavior so long as its the right place and time.

Not everyone wants an outgoing person to be around. I personally find introverts more mysterious and deep. there is something to probe at and toy with.

I've noticed they tend to be self absorbed (in a introvert sort of way) but that this gives them strength. They won't give an inch for bullshit and they won't waste their time on something that has no potential. I like that, it's attractive and challenging.

I really think that INTj's are a challenge. Most people are looking for something easy and because of this they go for the easier people. If you like to party and go clubbing, you'll probably want an ESFp or something. But if you like quiet, clever creativity and sorta oddball behavior you can count on an INTj.

That's really what socionics is about though- finding out that there is no certain ideal, that it is relative based on what type you are.

So an INTj is going to be in good company with anyone in their quadra or perhaps some people in an adjacent one.

[James (female INTJ)]

since we are so quiet, and rarily ever blend - what makes someone want to go over to the shy guy off to one corner, staring at this and that?
thanks

I won't - I'm old fashioned and would expect him to come over to me, even if this is not easy for him, and to do so while neither of us are liquored up in some sleazy bar. He must show me interest in a way that I can understand. He then needs to get to know me a bit, perhaps make me suspect, but not know (this is key), that he is interested in me as more than an aquaintance/friend. Then he must actually (gasp) ask me out. Then, over time he must prove that his intentions are 'honourable' (did I say I was old-fashioned?) This is one of the great advantages of being a woman and I have no intention of giving it up as so many foolish girls do these days.

As for a guy INTJ, I think he has a lot broader appeal to the other gender than we lady INTJs do. Chicks dig confidence. They dig it even more if it's backed up by competence. If you are an INTJ you have both of these things in certain areas. You also have the resolve to say "I don't know" instead of trying to pretend you do. This is very appealing. I cannot believe that it is not obvious to more people when someone is trying to pretend they know something... Like Waddles said, INTJs have an inner strength, which I think is sometimes judged harshly in women... but I think most if not all women will really find it attractive in a man. You just need to find a way to showcase these things. Since we are just talking about the initial attraction I think these are your main bullets. That dry sense of humour can be helpful too, probably with most other NTs of any brand.

Let me just say that if you are looking to be a 'ladies' man', you'd have to change your tactics considerably. It requires that, even if you do not blatantly lie, you must 'lead' women to where you want them. It requires a certain brand of dishonesty that probably does not come naturally to you.

[mike_INTJ]

You know that INTjs can be real assholes sometimes and unwittingly make people feel stupid even if they are not trying to. Their very existence serves to debrain the people around them.

yeah guess that sounds accurate. it all depends if i use my outside voice and inside voice. (in my head, etc).

Seriously, the good stuff :

a) modest - this trait is highly valued by me.

b) gentle, albeit aloof and a little cold

c) steady, not flighty- you can count on them come rain or shine unless they go into depressed mode. This is when you have to drag them out. It looks like blatant sympathy has little to no effect on them in this regard. I hope I am right.

d) introspective- results in always wanting to improve him/herself. However, just as this trait has its upside, it has its downside. And I am suspecting if their characteristic depression might have something to do with this coupled with the possession of a weak Se (you are already dissatisfied with the foolish ways of the world yet you must sort of "fit in" whether you like it or not) < I'm guessing on this one

This much for now. Notice that I make no mention of their intellectual prowess but that's because they already hear it all too often.

i usually compete with myself. it can always be better, hard to show this to other people though. techincally i don't need the fitting in part, it's the fact that i need to be alone, yet i'm lonley at the same time. i'd like to be with someone, but in order to do that i need to fit in. but i don't fit in, never did.

so i'm trying to figure out if i'm doing something that is attracting people. one person claims she loves me, but is married and doing it for kicks, (she doesn't seem to notice i have feelings that can be hurt, or doesn't care). but she doesn't say why she loves me, which i know she doesn't. there must be some mojo at work, but i can't find it.

[mike_INTJ]

This is more about female INTj's, but there are bound to be similarities. I've noticed INTj's don't shy away from things like morbid humor and are rarely offended by lude behavior so long as its the right place and time.

Not everyone wants an outgoing person to be around. I personally find introverts more mysterious and deep. there is something to probe at and toy with.

I've noticed they tend to be self absorbed (in a introvert sort of way) but that this gives them strength. They won't give an inch for bullshit and they won't waste their time on something that has no potential. I like that, it's attractive and challenging.

I really think that INTj's are a challenge. Most people are looking for something easy and because of this they go for the easier people. If you like to party and go clubbing, you'll probably want an ESFp or something. But if you like quiet, clever creativity and sorta oddball behavior you can count on an INTj.

That's really what socionics is about though- finding out that there is no certain ideal, that it is relative based on what type you are.

So an INTj is going to be in good company with anyone in their quadra or perhaps some people in an adjacent one.

being that intj's are so rare, how in the world do you find them? is this a work related place? do you hang out at a CompUSA (not likely a club), to find them?

how does a person who is normally quiet - get stick out to be noticed by anyone?

[Waddlesworth]

Long term interaction is best. I can usually spot them very easily but it takes a while to move in.

I imagine that it is easier for the women to get the attention than the men. Unfortunately the attention may not really be what they want deep down. I imagine that there might be alot of hidden and raw sexuality(correct me if I am wrong, but please do respond, people) They want a person to dominate them perhaps.

Alot of people talk about INTj's as being confident, then alot of people talk about them as being insecure. I think that they typically come across as very insecure and emotionally vulnerable people that can be easily manipulated. that is part of the attraction. The problem is that once they let you into their world you're trapped. Some of the most beautiful women in the world are INTj's, I have absolutely no doubt about that. It would not surprise me if the same went for the males.

But without going too far off topic- the places that I have met INTj's are school and work. Sure some might like "comp usa" but the ones that I have met seem to be chasing their super-egos and in many regards deny their intellect and creativity in pursuit of a more girly lifestyle because, I assume, this is where they will get the attention and where repressed sexual desires can be fulfilled.

Sorry I can't be of more help for the guys.

[Creepy-]

being that intj's are so rare, how in the world do you find them? is this a work related place? do you hang out at a CompUSA (not likely a club), to find them?

how does a person who is normally quiet - get stick out to be noticed by anyone?

It would be fruitful for you to attempt to seek out an INTj in a large crowd. I rarely go out, unless I need something then I would not waste my time just lingering around.

[epichaiku]

As an INFP I am very attracted to INTJ's because they are protective of the ones they love. It takes you guys so friggin long to make up your minds that when you do, it doesn't change. This is a huge relief for me. Also, the bluntness is refreshing because I play enough mind games with myself without even meaning to. I think once I realized that the INTJ's in my life (male and female) spoke to me out of caring for me, the bluntness became a form of affection.

Also, since INFP's need lot's of space, but don't always realize when they need it, the INTJ automatic response to give space makes me feel safe. I am free to take the time I need to think and respond when I have thought and felt out everything going on in my head and heart. That can take a long time and always frusterated my ESFP father.

Plus, dudes, Mr. Darcy was an INTJ. He is so the sexiest.

[mike_INTJ]

As an INFP I am very attracted to INTJ's because they are protective of the ones they love. It takes you guys so friggin long to make up your minds that when you do, it doesn't change. This is a huge relief for me. Also, the bluntness is refreshing because I play enough mind games with myself without even meaning to. I think once I realized that the INTJ's in my life (male and female) spoke to me out of caring for me, the bluntness became a form of affection.

Also, since INFP's need lot's of space, but don't always realize when they need it, the INTJ automatic response to give space makes me feel safe. I am free to take the time I need to think and respond when I have thought and felt out everything going on in my head and heart. That can take a long time and always frusterated my ESFP father.

Plus, dudes, Mr. Darcy was an INTJ. He is so the sexiest.

i'm trying to attract someone who i think is either an INFJ or a ISFJ (can't tell which yet) - what sort of things would attract you? she works near me (inside the building), i've been using toys (one toy dressed up differently for each holiday or month). a sweet approach, since i don't do the other's well (creepy i have down pat!)

i think she's figured it out, but since she's as quiet as me, it's hard to tell, as i can only really read the facial cues. hoping that she'll go for me - i rather it be her idea so i know it's set. i just don't have that much info on this type. two quiet types, i'm hoping it works...

[Ms. Kensington]

This is more about female INTj's, but there are bound to be similarities. I've noticed INTj's don't shy away from things like morbid humor and are rarely offended by lude behavior so long as its the right place and time.

Not everyone wants an outgoing person to be around. I personally find introverts more mysterious and deep. there is something to probe at and toy with.

I've noticed they tend to be self absorbed (in a introvert sort of way) but that this gives them strength. They won't give an inch for bullshit and they won't waste their time on something that has no potential. I like that, it's attractive and challenging.

I really think that INTj's are a challenge. Most people are looking for something easy and because of this they go for the easier people. If you like to party and go clubbing, you'll probably want an ESFp or something. But if you like quiet, clever creativity and sorta oddball behavior you can count on an INTj.

That's really what socionics is about though- finding out that there is no certain ideal, that it is relative based on what type you are.

So an INTj is going to be in good company with anyone in their quadra or perhaps some people in an adjacent one.

true , but i dont know why people say INTjs are odd.

[mike_INTJ]

This is more about female INTj's, but there are bound to be similarities. I've noticed INTj's don't shy away from things like morbid humor and are rarely offended by lude behavior so long as its the right place and time.

Not everyone wants an outgoing person to be around. I personally find introverts more mysterious and deep. there is something to probe at and toy with.

I've noticed they tend to be self absorbed (in a introvert sort of way) but that this gives them strength. They won't give an inch for bullshit and they won't waste their time on something that has no potential. I like that, it's attractive and challenging.

I really think that INTj's are a challenge. Most people are looking for something easy and because of this they go for the easier people. If you like to party and go clubbing, you'll probably want an ESFp or something. But if you like quiet, clever creativity and sorta oddball behavior you can count on an INTj.

That's really what socionics is about though- finding out that there is no certain ideal, that it is relative based on what type you are.

So an INTj is going to be in good company with anyone in their quadra or perhaps some people in an adjacent one.

true , but i dont know why people say INTjs are odd.

i can't speak for all INTJ's, but i think it's because we break tradition in every sense of the word. we don't go along with what everyone else says. we make up our own minds, we aren't brainwashed easily. we don't smile as much as we should, and social skills (hanging around the mall doing nothing, etc), we don't do either.

most thoughts are to plan for the future, so many may see us as pessimistic. as we tend to see the disaster before it happens - some see this as negative thinking, and no one want's a negative thinker. of course this set's up a told-ya-so situation, when the optimist get's into trouble, and since we fore saw it, we already adjusted for it.

and lastly, we are quiet - unless we know about a topic - then we have a battle of wits. and since many don't like to think, this makes us look odd.

[epichaiku]

i'm trying to attract someone who i think is either an INFJ or a ISFJ (can't tell which yet) - what sort of things would attract you? she works near me (inside the building), i've been using toys (one toy dressed up differently for each holiday or month). a sweet approach, since i don't do the other's well (creepy i have down pat!)

i think she's figured it out, but since she's as quiet as me, it's hard to tell, as i can only really read the facial cues. hoping that she'll go for me - i rather it be her idea so i know it's set. i just don't have that much info on this type. two quiet types, i'm hoping it works...

Well, first of all my mother is an INFJ and my sister is an ISFJ. They are both emotional but blunt individuals, but to me the differences are very clear (especially since I am an NF like my mother, and well, my sister is my sister). My mom, and all the INFJ's I know (several of my closest friends) are more comfortable in the grey then just about any other J. INFJ's are also the least J like of any other J type. The NFJ combo may make them come off as P's at first. They are also almost psychic in their intuition more so then any other type, even INFP's because the J helps them make up their minds about what they are intuiting (it can take me months). INFJ's also are very independant, although can become clingy to a few trusted friends.

That being said, ISFJ's are very black and white. My sister grieves the fact that she can't grasp the intuitive and abstract leaps so many of her friends make. They confuse and baffle her. She hates feeling left out of things, even though she can spend uninterupted hours by herself without so much as batting an eye. She also cries more then my mother or myself, and we are all big cryers. I think this is because she is so determined that when she doesn't meet her goals in the time she alloted herself she gets very overwhelmed. She also can't be convinced of the opposite of what she thinks is correct no matter how much you point out flaws in her thinking. She is also blunt, but very caring.

Hopefully that helped figuring out this ladies type a little.

What do I find attractive? Your method would depend on her being and S or an N. For me it's the N connection I find so sexy. When you start speaking in subtext, no matter how trivial. It shows you are really getting to know someone and also "getting" them, or how they think. I love it.

I think though, that if this women is a J you are going to have to work with that. She will probably be less patient with games, intentional or not, especially if she is an S. Find ways to open up and share more personal things with her. If she is attentive and responds with questions and more personal information you have a plateform to continue to build a sort of intimacy. Be patient though, it may take a few days for her to think through her response. She might be caught off guard at first.

Feel free to ask me to clarify any of the above. Also, if you wouldn't mind reading my post here I would really appreciate it.

[Creepy-Judy]

what i'd like to know is - (male/female) (though perferably from a female that like's INTJ's): what do you like about INTJ's?

I am an ISFp girl. To answer you question-I like nothing about them. They are like the worst type. I wish all of them would stop posting about what losers they are. We know this. You are INTj, thus the implication is that you are undatable.
Now go design a computer program or something so we can at least say you have some redeeming quality that justifies your nerdiness.
Only exception: If you are a really good looking INTj, I would use you for sex when I'm drunk, but then talk about how small your penis is behind your back, regardless of your size.

[Zeia]

Ahh, and another emotionally imbalanced, tactless, imbecile. I agree I am tired of all this complaining but what you are saying is morally wrong, and very stereotypical. I congradulate you for pushing the human race forward.

www.darwinawards.com

[mike_INTJ]

what i'd like to know is - (male/female) (though perferably from a female that like's INTJ's): what do you like about INTJ's?

I am an ISFp girl. To answer you question-I like nothing about them. They are like the worst type. I wish all of them would stop posting about what losers they are. We know this. You are INTj, thus the implication is that you are undatable.
Now go design a computer program or something so we can at least say you have some redeeming quality that justifies your nerdiness.
Only exception: If you are a really good looking INTj, I would use you for sex when I'm drunk, but then talk about how small your penis is behind your back, regardless of your size.

would you actually know one if you saw one?

judging by your answer, i'd say your about 19 or so, havn't dated much and are currently attracted to/attracting jerks. based on your overall attitude and closed mindedness. eventually you'll learn, you have to be burned a few times though. how sad.

[Zeia]

judging by your answer, i'd say your about 19 or so, havn't dated much and are currently attracted to/attracting jerks. based on your overall attitude and closed mindedness. eventually you'll learn, you have to be burned a few times though. how sad.

I second this statement (And I'm 16)

[Topaz]

I am an ISFp girl. To answer you question-I like nothing about them. They are like the worst type. I wish all of them would stop posting about what losers they are. We know this. You are INTj, thus the implication is that you are undatable.
Now go design a computer program or something so we can at least say you have some redeeming quality that justifies your nerdiness.
Only exception: If you are a really good looking INTj, I would use you for sex when I'm drunk, but then talk about how small your penis is behind your back, regardless of your size.

What an extremely rude comment! It was kinda funny though.

[Cone]

Finally, someone else disgruntled with all of the whining they do!

[metaiwan]

You hurt my feelings Cone. I'll recede into learning python or some other obscure nerdy thing or break out my Star Wars DVDs or VHS(depending on if I'm in the mood for Lucas's changes (SOLO SHOT FIRST DAMMIT)) to watch them again.

I can't understand why girls don't like me....I always bring up my work of computers which is hilarious (like that time when a circuit break in a CPU caused only one site to not store a cookie, and I figured it out, that's gotta impress them!!) and terribly interesting. I show her my world of action figures and Star Trek DVD collections. I simply cannot understand. I am baffled. What girl in their right mind would not be fascinated by that??? Usually they will cry and I will inquire if they are on their period. Then they leave, and I don't understand.

Hmm...we don't like INTps either.(cept Sychophant, but she's INFj anyway)

[Creepy-msk]

what i'd like to know is - (male/female) (though perferably from a female that like's INTJ's): what do you like about INTJ's?

I am an ISFp girl. To answer you question-I like nothing about them. They are like the worst type. I wish all of them would stop posting about what losers they are. We know this. You are INTj, thus the implication is that you are undatable.
Now go design a computer program or something so we can at least say you have some redeeming quality that justifies your nerdiness.
Only exception: If you are a really good looking INTj, I would use you for sex when I'm drunk, but then talk about how small your penis is behind your back, regardless of your size.

why would you talk about how small his penis was if it was huge?

you would think you would talk shit about his nerdiness not about his huge penis being small. why else would you sleep with him, you know.

[FDG]

what i'd like to know is - (male/female) (though perferably from a female that like's INTJ's): what do you like about INTJ's?

I am an ISFp girl. To answer you question-I like nothing about them. They are like the worst type. I wish all of them would stop posting about what losers they are. We know this. You are INTj, thus the implication is that you are undatable.
Now go design a computer program or something so we can at least say you have some redeeming quality that justifies your nerdiness.
Only exception: If you are a really good looking INTj, I would use you for sex when I'm drunk, but then talk about how small your penis is behind your back, regardless of your size.

would you actually know one if you saw one?

judging by your answer, i'd say your about 19 or so, havn't dated much and are currently attracted to/attracting jerks. based on your overall attitude and closed mindedness. eventually you'll learn, you have to be burned a few times though. how sad.

Is your sarcasm meter totally screwed?

[INTJ]

I can't understand why girls don't like me....

Classic line. You can be helped, but you have to be open to suggestion. Are you? You could have girls fawning over you regardless of type. Oh yes yes yes! (free free free!) Call now.

Only exception: If you are a really good looking INTj, I would use you for sex when I'm drunk, but then talk about how small your penis is behind your back, regardless of your size.

You'd be too tonguetied from ecstasy to even formulate a thought.. let alone try to be clever.

[mike_INTJ]

what i'd like to know is - (male/female) (though perferably from a female that like's INTJ's): what do you like about INTJ's?

I am an ISFp girl. To answer you question-I like nothing about them. They are like the worst type. I wish all of them would stop posting about what losers they are. We know this. You are INTj, thus the implication is that you are undatable.
Now go design a computer program or something so we can at least say you have some redeeming quality that justifies your nerdiness.
Only exception: If you are a really good looking INTj, I would use you for sex when I'm drunk, but then talk about how small your penis is behind your back, regardless of your size.

would you actually know one if you saw one?

judging by your answer, i'd say your about 19 or so, havn't dated much and are currently attracted to/attracting jerks. based on your overall attitude and closed mindedness. eventually you'll learn, you have to be burned a few times though. how sad.

Is your sarcasm meter totally screwed?

didn't sound like sarcasm to me. why be bullied here?

[Gilly]

You'd be too tonguetied from ecstasy to even formulate a thought.. let alone try to be clever.

I like this guy. I say we keep him and get rid of that bitchy ISFp...
:wink:

[Creepy-]

I am an ISFp girl. To answer you question-I like nothing about them. They are like the worst type. I wish all of them would stop posting about what losers they are. We know this. You are INTj, thus the implication is that you are undatable.
Now go design a computer program or something so we can at least say you have some redeeming quality that justifies your nerdiness.
Only exception: If you are a really good looking INTj, I would use you for sex when I'm drunk, but then talk about how small your penis is behind your back, regardless of your size.

What an extremely rude comment! It was kinda funny though.

very funny... though to be more real, the INTJ is more than likely to sense your sluttyness. and will either A) pretend to be taken advantage of, all the while knowing damn well whats going on. or B) Shut yer drunk ass down. More likely it would be B, there's nothing that turns an INTJ off more than drunken stupidity and incompetence.

[Joy]

the new weezer song "perfect situation" reminds me of INTjs

Tell me there's a logic out there.
Leading me to better prepare
For the day that something really special might come.
Tell me there's some hope for me.
I don't wanna be lonely
For the rest of my days on the earth.

[Creepy-hihi]

I view the romantic side of INTJ as something I like to call "Jesus Christ Syndrome" in a nutshell, we fall in love with the promiscuous whores. Most people I talk to agree that Jesus was indeed in love with a whore.

[Joy]

uh... yeah I saw it with my own eyes and I can read minds

[Creepy-hihi]

come to think of it, would Jesus be considered an INTJ??

[mike_INTJ]

I view the romantic side of INTJ as something I like to call "Jesus Christ Syndrome" in a nutshell, we fall in love with the promiscuous whores. Most people I talk to agree that Jesus was indeed in love with a whore.

whores are whores, i'm not attracted to any of them. in fact, anyone superficial in anyway, i'm not attracted to them.

[Joy]

no, he would be everything

[Joy]

er, he would have totally balanced functions because as the incarnation of God, who is everything, he would have to be, logically speaking

[Kirana]

of course, INTjs secretly think that God must be INTj....

[Creepy-Lotte]

I've always liked dating INTJ's because

1) they're intelligent, competent, honest
2) once they've figured out that they like me, they don't pussy foot around about pursuing me.
3) they seem to date seriously to try and figure out if we're a good match on our values, etc.
4) Male INTJ's are very masculine
5) I get my primary emotional interaction from my girlfriends, so I don't require my man to focus on that
6) they tend to have good jobs
7) they're ethical
8) they respect my boundaries
9) discreet


Someone asked where to find INTJ's. Look in law and also in the sciences. Look for a "man with plan" who excells at what he does.
I've dated INTJ's in the following professions: trial attorney (JD), corporate attorney (JD), mechanical engineer (MS), Physicist (PhD).

[P-chan]

4) Male INTJ's are very masculine

What does that mean?

I'm a male INTJ but I don't think of myself as conforming to any gender stereotype; I'm just me. I'm not into sports or cars.

[FDG]

She means "the strong silent type".

[mike_INTJ]

She means "the strong silent type".

i was wondering that myself... though i've played that card. i don't get the strong silent type. i get the weirdo that's staring at me type. or the why he so angry type.

is there a way to pull off strong and silent, without looking like a bozo - or being too quiet? and when did silent mean masculine?

[mike_INTJ]

I've always liked dating INTJ's because

1) they're intelligent, competent, honest
2) once they've figured out that they like me, they don't pussy foot around about pursuing me.
3) they seem to date seriously to try and figure out if we're a good match on our values, etc.
4) Male INTJ's are very masculine
5) I get my primary emotional interaction from my girlfriends, so I don't require my man to focus on that
6) they tend to have good jobs
7) they're ethical
8) they respect my boundaries
9) discreet


Someone asked where to find INTJ's. Look in law and also in the sciences. Look for a "man with plan" who excells at what he does.
I've dated INTJ's in the following professions: trial attorney (JD), corporate attorney (JD), mechanical engineer (MS), Physicist (PhD).

the questions i have:

do you simply like dating INTJ's? or would you marry one? you have 4 listed there, which means they either ended, or your into some really kinky stuff. and i know INTJ's aren't into this (don't think so anyway). so did they end it? did you? how long did the romance last? and are you seeing one now? or somone more fun?

just wondering. thanks.

[ChristiRB]

I've always liked dating INTJ's because

1) they're intelligent, competent, honest
2) once they've figured out that they like me, they don't pussy foot around about pursuing me.
3) they seem to date seriously to try and figure out if we're a good match on our values, etc.
4) Male INTJ's are very masculine
5) I get my primary emotional interaction from my girlfriends, so I don't require my man to focus on that
6) they tend to have good jobs
7) they're ethical
8) they respect my boundaries
9) discreet


Someone asked where to find INTJ's. Look in law and also in the sciences. Look for a "man with plan" who excells at what he does.
I've dated INTJ's in the following professions: trial attorney (JD), corporate attorney (JD), mechanical engineer (MS), Physicist (PhD).

INTJs date? Hmmmmm....well that's news to me! Most I*TJs I know are more long-term relationship people than daters.

[mike_INTJ]

She means "the strong silent type".

i was wondering that myself... though i've played that card. i don't get the strong silent type. i get the weirdo that's staring at me type. or the why he so angry type.

is there a way to pull off strong and silent, without looking like a bozo - or being too quiet? and when did silent mean masculine?

The strong silent type wouldn't be staring. He'd be involved in his own thing and would exude an air of confidence. She'd be then drawn to find out more about him, what makes him tick. But if that's not how you are, don't sweat it, and don't try to put on an act. Just try to show her a little interest without making it creepy. (Creepy is staring, saying inappropriate things, following her around, stuff like that).

i guess the main problem for me is - i'm silent. and i can talk if spoked too, but it's always that beggining awkard silence but longer. i need someone that can talk to me like kim and the other's that seem to have that lasting enthusiasum and patience.

i've tried a number of techniques - candy, toys, i tried to smile, i tried to joke around (but you need a special skill to understand sarcasm and puns). but nothing really peaks interest in anyone. maybe eventually i'll be moved to engineering, where people actually understand each other. i don't have much experience talking to the muggles, maybe my own kind can help. but for now i'm stuck on the outside....

funny thing is i think i would make an ideal mate - nice, loyal, all that stuff. along with dozens of skills - we would never have to hire a pro to do something, i know just about everything. i'm a Mike-of-all-trades. though no one would know that, since no one (in the 2 years i've been there), has ever asked anything about me.